It was a normal day in the Royal and General Bank. Alex Rider was glaring at a peppermint next to him, a man was being treated for three broken ribs, a dislocated left shoulder, and a torn ligament from a certain teenage girl named Katherine, and the new agents were barking or meowing.

One of their newest agents had gotten his paws on a tin of light tuna, and three others had joined in, hissing and scratching each other. A senior agent had a dead mouse for some reason and was trying to lure away Agent Fluffles, but to no avail.

A more experienced man stood off to the side, sighing. This was once a respected place to work for, but everything had gone downhill when the higher ups somehow got it into their heads that a fourteen year old would be perfect for single handedly foiling some of the largest terrorist plots in the world.

Of course, the teenager was pretty good at what he did. Sure, he would murder everyone in the building if he had the chance, but no one could deny that the boy was good. Maybe if he'd failed the first mission with the Stormbreaker computers, they would have let Rider go, instead of sinking their twisted claws into him.

Then again, if he had failed, he would be dead.

No, everything had gone downhill once the brass thought that recruiting more teenage agents would be a great idea.

There was Katherine, who still regularly sent men to the hospital. At this point, it was more entertainment for the senior agents, rather than an actual mission. Some smarter agents actually went out with her for lunch every time they were sent on the 'mission'. Katherine was a nice girl, and of course, there was a mutual desire to get one over Blunt and Jones.

Then the Americans decided to join in, and then the cats happened…

The only half decent intelligence agency left was Scorpia, and even then, it just wasn't the same, not after a fourteen year old had ruined their plans twice.

But there was-

The man was knocked out in the middle of his thoughts, Alex Rider standing above him with a vindictive smile on his face. Somehow, he'd stolen a pen from an office and sharpened it, leading to a very brittle and sharp weapon, which could be stabbed into a joint or organ cavity, where the shard would then be able to be jostled around and cause further damage.

Yet another trained man working for an intelligence agency was placed into intensive care due to an angry teenager.

They just didn't make them like they used to...

Nexus the cat was a rather ordinary cat. He was not special in any way. He was a tuxedo cat and was a year and a half old. He had been neutered, had had his shots, and enjoyed eating fish. He was bought from a breeder and given to a three year old girl when he was only a kitten, and was put in an animal shelter after a few months.

Which, in the twisted minds of MI6's higher ups, meant the cat would be a perfect nonhuman spy for the government.

Currently, there was a collar with a sophisticated tracking device with a high definition camera and state of the art software.

That very collar was lying in some ditch somewhere, while Nexus was being petted by the high ranking Scorpia official that Nexus was supposed to have been spying on.

But here, there was plenty of fish, constant attention, and best of all, small furry animals to torture until death.

What more could a cat want?

Meanwhile, the aforementioned high ranking Scorpia official smiled as she watched the progress of her newest project.

Nexus the cat might actually have a use...

The woman laughed in evil delight, all the while stroking the cat with claw like fingers and glossy red nails.

Alex Rider had somehow gotten his hands on a candy cane that had been sharpened to a deadly point and a few more pens. No one knew how he had gotten them, and more importantly, who kept those dangerous objects in their offices. Well, the candy canes were probably from Mrs. Jones, who had switched the peppermints in favour of something more festive, but who in the world was daft enough to actually keep pens in a bank?

Alex was such a menace that the only acceptable writing instruments were chalk, crayons, and nontoxic paints. Pens were a prized commodity, but were too dangerous to keep around, for fear of Alex weaponising them.

Smithers didn't help at all, and occasionally joined in on the madness.

Alex regularly gave him offerings of expensive pens, gift baskets, human limbs, and mugs of very well made tea.

In return, Smithers would give him more toys, but nothing too dangerous, just silly gimmicks that made everything more fun.

The only time that the people who worked in the office had any respite was when they went home after a long day of fighting for their life, but even in the comfort of their own home, they occasionally saw a dark blur leaping from shadow to shadow out of the corner of their eye, reminding them to come to work the next day or else.

In that manner, Alex Rider managed to keep the building in a state of organised chaos.

People came to work every day, did paperwork, organised files, battled for their lives, avoided dogs, and stayed in the hospital if they didn't do their paperwork on time.

Blunt and Jones did nothing about it because the paperwork got done (although it was in crayon), their field agents were kept on their toes, and Alex was kept happy.

Also, the feral dogs wouldn't bite them.

A/N: Well, that was fun! Alex has been terrorising the Bank and one of MI6's agents has turned traitor. Coming up soon is Jeremy's wedding, more cats, and Patriotic Cat! Not necessarily in that order, though.

I promise that this won't be the last of the spy animals, and there will be more focus on them. Reviews would be appreciated!

Started: 1:36 PM, 30/12/13

Ended: 4:43 PM, 30/12/13