Kat is devouring a Mystic Grill special, the "Damon" burger. The secret sauce dribbles out of the corners of her mouth. Unfortunately for her, this burger is the only Damon-named gluttony she has been able to enjoy the past few days. Damon Salvatore will not put out. Will. Not. Put. Out. Damon fucking Salvatore. Just a few minutes ago, she fondled her breasts in the ladies' room mirror. Still perky handfuls. What the fuck is wrong with him?
Damon watches Kat from across their booth, lips curling into a lopsided smirk. He likes this girl. They have an easy banter and way of dealing with each other. She is hot as hell. But, for some reason, he just does not want to fuck her. Two weeks ago, she showed up on his doorstep unannounced, prompting him to warn her that sex does not equal relationship. And then, they proceeded to not fuck, after all that explanatory effort on his part. He presumes that that was an unforeseen application of "what happens, happens" or more precisely "what doesn't happen, doesn't happen."
Jeremy has rubbed at the same spot in the same shot glass for the past hour. Damon Salvatore is a puzzle, wrapped inside of a mystery, wrapped inside of an enigma. Jeremy thought he would have to contend with Damon fucking Kat on every surface of the Salvatore boarding house, but oddly enough, nada. Jeremy and Kat have even swapped several quizzical glances and head nods.
Ric fumes as he pushes the front door of the Grill with unnecessary force. He knows Damon and Kat are not fucking. Jeremy has made this fact as clear as fucking day. But why, then, does Damon insist on hanging out with the girl two weeks before the fight? Elena has been a nervous ball of wreck, and that has been without the knowledge of Damon's "transgressions."
"What I think is you need to take a beat!" Ric exclaims.
"What does that even mean?" Damon questions sarcastically. He thinks the line sounds like something out of a badly written teen television show.
"This is my team, pal. No one's gonna blow it up."
"Is that where you've been all morning, out buying bossypants?"
Ric pinches the top of Damon's right ear and physically yanks him to the unoccupied pool table. Damon rubs at the sensitive cartilage once Ric lets go. They trade a few verbal barbs before Damon reveals that Kat is on her way back to Florida after lunch, and she will stay there until the fight. Ric is incredulous. Why did Damon just waste so much time stubbornly evading and throwing out one-liners when he knows that the problem is already going to resolve itself? He is such an anticlimactic dick.
Elena breathes in and out only through her nose. In. Deep. Straight to her belly. Out. Short. Fast. She is sitting in lotus position, cross-legged with each foot on the thigh of the opposite leg. She notices a slight breeze against her face and the lightest, barely there touch of mist.
The image of her defeating Kat manifests in her mind's eye. Elena is not content just seeing the image. She wants to live the image and works on breathing every littlest detail to life. The smell of her own musk as the referee lifts her arm to victory. The sight of bright lights that momentarily blind her as she looks up. The feel of his gaze upon her, then his arms wrapped around her. Her real belt.
Elena cocks her head over her right shoulder at the epicness that sounds through her stereo system. Caroline and Bonnie wave her in through the glass sliding door of her patio.
Elena is just in time for the final few seconds of the opening sequence to the latest episode of UFC Primetime. She watches as her own lithe form kicks at some CGI block letters that spell out "Gilbert." The action sounds cheesy in description but looks spectacular on screen. The first scene caption reads "Mystic Falls, VA." The camera starts in wide shot on the town square, zooms in to the "Mystic Grill" sign, and falls down to capture two very important people through the Grill's glass panes. Katherine Pierce and Damon Salvatore. The narration begins.
"UFC lightweight champion Damon Salvatore has been conspicuously absent from Slayers mixed martial arts gym, usually home to both him and UFC women's bantamweight contender Elena Gilbert. She was a regular fixture during all of his training camps and he in hers. His absence has been of fevered interest because this is the biggest camp of her career, where she is training to fight for the UFC bantamweight belt currently held by Katherine Pierce. After UFC Primetime cameras caught Damon and Katherine together at the Mystic Grill, the question was posed to Katherine herself: 'Has Damon switched teams?'"
Cut to Katherine: "Are we really going to do this? We both know I could rip you to shreds and do my nails at the same time." Katherine flips the camera the bird.
Author's Note: Thank you for the feedback, follows, and favourites. Special thanks to vamomoftwins, frozenangel1988, TheAbigailIvashkov, Cbear98, asnoo02, InfinitelyDelena, and dreio.