Previously;

"I missed you too," she chuckled, hugging me back just as fiercely in an attempt to hide her blush from me. She had no idea… "But, Jasper, I can't breathe."

"Sorry," I mumbled sheepishly and loosened my hold. "But, Bella, where have you been?

"Yes, sorry to interrupt," Alice interjected. "But can you explain to us, how is it that you're still alive?" Alice, always so tactful.

"You saw me fall." It wasn't a question.

"No," Alice denies, squinting. "I saw you jump."

oOo

Memoirs of Her Scent

Ch25: Severed Heartchords

Time… time is running out, but already the thought of another day without you is unbearable, and I start to feel the sting of tears that can never fall...

I started to see the beauty of a beginning, and the eclipsing sadness encompassing its ending...

How it hurts, this fear of having you. How can I have you, Isabella Swan, when the very notion of losing you already wounds?

Isabella, your embrace is a respite, just a chaste kiss from you keeps me alive; your gaze is a beautiful sunrise. Did you know?

Since I've waited so long to see, feel, something so immense, watching it reach its end is very heartrending...

How it hurts, this fear of having you. How can I have you, when the very notion of losing you already wounds?

Isabella, losing you impairs…

Since I've waited this long to see, feel, something this immense, watching it reach its ending is agonizingly torturous.

oOo

"Why is everything with you so damned complicated, Alice?" I wanted to know. No, needed to know. I was currently growing more and more aggravated with the subject of my exasperation, Alice, by the minute. And to top it all off, being away from Bella for such an extensive length of time, three days, wasn't aiding the situation to her favor. "You've never been easy to love, and now this?"

But it had been my own decision, after all. I had decided to be the better man and in spite of all the warnings going off in my head, I'd given Bella and Alice some alone time. Given that I couldn't stand being in the same room with Alice without showing animosity, especially with Bella around, I had opted myself graciously out of the picture.

Besides, Bella wanted the closure, I could tell. Only, Alice just couldn't leave things alone and wouldn't keep away and just be with Bella. So here we were.

Leaning against a tree trunk, I tried very hard to keep my arms tightly wound and crossed over my chest without showing any of the overflowing aggravation sprucing inside my innermost devil.

Meanwhile, Alice was a few feet in front of me demanding answers to questions that I hadn't even thought about or come to a reasonable conclusion about. Basically, she was interrogating me like the devil she is. And I didn't want to have any of it. Only, I was. Alice needed this and I needed her to have this, this closure.

After all, it is the best I can do, given that I have decided to take the blame for this entire situation, which I'd created to begin with. The ending of a marriage that had meant everything to me, thirsting, venom, breathing, dying,and existing, for so long that I'd nearly forgotten what being my own entity meant.

"How did we come to this?" Alice asked, ignoring my question. "You promised me, Jasper. You promised me 'forever' when we vowed ourselves to one another."

I scoffed. I couldn't help it. "And I promised Bella an eternity," I countered. "Unless she sends me away…"

Again, the very idea of not being near Isabella, close enough to touch her, made me shiver as if my heart had been suddenly clawed and stripped to shreds and then succumbed ashes by something so foreign and cold I couldn't fathom a name for it.

Alice frowned, torn between my answer and her brewing questions. "That's… 'Eternity' and 'forever' are one and the same in meaning, are they not?" Alice asked resoundingly and filled with crippling confusion. "Why is it that you are making it sound as if they are not, Jasper?"

Because they are not, I wanted to state. Instead, I answered, "You're right. Essentially. 'Eternity' is a synonym of 'forever', after all. However, I've personally given it a much profound meaning, in avertedly so, the moment I made my promise to Bella."

This was as honest as I could get, and if Alice didn't get it, she never would.

"The word 'forever' just seemed so childish when I first made my proposal to her. I just couldn't bring myself to say it. Bella needed -needs- more than a simple forever from me, in the state she's been in."

I knew each of my words was adding insult to injury, but I just couldn't find it within myself to stop the flow of my words. Alice's face hardened and crumbled under my telling words. Even though I know I have no right to be speaking for Bella, I feel so strongly about this that I just can't find it in me to do the proper thing and leave it the well alone.

"On the other hand, 'eternity', well, that just seems a more appropriate word to associate with Bella." I mused, "It fit the image of a man making a promise to a well deserving woman, whom he has, every intention of keeping and will keep." A declaration, if I ever heard one…

Alice looked like I'd just slapped her across the face with a wrought iron. "Does she mean that much to you?" she asked scornfully. Instantly, I could see how she'd regretted her words. Frayed and caught in between her want to hold on tight to me, her mate, and her loyalty to her friend, and possibly family. This was as much unfamiliar territory as it was to me. I sympathized, but not enough to lie to her.

"She does." Two words, softly, simply and spoken. Honest words that I hadn't allowed myself to admit out loud before for fear of being completely consumed by their foreign endeavor. Not that the opportunity had presented itself before this moment, in the first place. "To me, Bella is blood, oxygen, and the very ground I stand on.

Alice's sorrow hit me like the first licks of the frozen venom that still licks and burns within my veins during its last stages, right before it lastly freezes you in time and condemns you to wander this forsaken earth aimlessly and without penance.

"Why?" Her question, drowned in anguish, disbelieves, and defiance caught me by surprise. For the first time in a while, Alice sounded heartbreakingly honest, like a lost child, with no preamble for later deception. Even her eyes, boring into mine felt more honest than I had ever witnessed. Meaning, she wasn't asking for the sake of asking. Alice wanted and needed to know. "Why can't I be enough for you?"

My head hung in shame at her question. "It's…" I was at a loss for words. For a moment, as I was about to answer, I realized that I didn't know how to answer Alice's question. I paused.

I had asked myself this very question several times in the past, when I still felt like I was the only one giving and giving, and though I never expected something in return, I yearned for some sort of reciprocation that never did present itself.

Frowning, I thought and organizing my thoughts, started over. Speaking slowly, I voiced my answer, "It's not that you're not enough Alice…"

"What is it then?" The taste, feel, and sight of her blatant desperation had me drowning right into her despair without warning. "Did I do or say something wrong?" My fingers balked into the tree trunk, trying to hold on to something that would offer some means of grounding. "Can't we fix this? Tell me we can…"

"Alice, it's just…" My words fell and faded away from me, again. I shook my head, thinking of our beginnings. Looking into her eyes so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings I said, "I've always felt like I was the only one in our relationship trying to move us forward, Alice. I was always the only one trading water, trying to keep us afloat."

"That's-"

"I think I began to feel like this sometime after our commencement. After a while, it seemed like I was the only one willing to show my love, the one wearing my heart on my sleeve," I added before she could interrupt my thoughts. "Giving and giving… always giving, without seeing the fruit of my love for you flourishing… no matter how much I showered you with my love, I-" I sighed despondently. "You are not easy to love, Alice, like trying to sow in barren grounds, frustrating and maddening!"

Alice took a staggering step back, struck by my tactless wording. I could feel my pupils dilate and my eyes darken as my every emotions coursed through me. "I've always loved you more than you've loved me, Alice," I stated lamely.

"I know it seems that way, Jasper but-" she began desperately, but I cut her off.

"Maybe… I've just reached my limit?" I frowned. Was I expressing and wording my thoughts correctly?

"That's because!" Alice sniveled.

"Because what?" I demanded, losing patience.

"Because, since sometime after our beginning, I've been so afraid to fully give myself to you," she admitted, shivering. "So, so afraid…"

My frown deepened. "And why is that?" I wondered, sincerely curious, but despondent and showing none of it. In fact, my words came out callously.

Alice's eyes widened. Even I was surprised at my own detachment and plain lack of sympathy, which managed to shine through without my say so. I'm on the defensive, realized. Though I was entertaining this conversation, it was one I didn't want to have. But I knew Alice needed this conversation. If there was ever the slightest possibility of her letting go of me graciously, I needed for her not to have any regrets.

"Because I had seen this," -she motioned between the two of us- "us, growing apart and no longer able to meet each other halfway. Since, I began living in fear of its impending and unavoidable approach."

"From the beginning…" So she has always known? Of course she did, I thought with bitter contempt. My eyes narrowed suspiciously and a hiss stretched my lips tight. Had I never been meant to be hers for the take?

"No!" She shook her head, eyes wide and honest, understanding my train of thought. The one thing I had always thought we were good at, understanding. "I didn't know! I never knew the when or who, until I saw the two of you the day I returned," she explained rushed. "The way you were looking at her… when she asked you…" Alice gulped, as if it physically pained her to do so. "I didn't know it would be Bella…" She flinched.

Trying to absorb all this and rationally think about this new bit of information, I burrowed deeper into the trunk I was leaning against, causing it to groan and creak in protest as I waited for Alice to once again collect herself.

This is just too much, I decided after a long moment of pregnant pauses and mulling. I felt deceived. Like all along the snow I'd been treading on suddenly turned out to be ashes… ashes that I was currently trying to swallow and chocking on, only to keep on gagging in it residual acridness.

"I just saw you would be taken from me," she finally whispered in a croak. "I saw it happen progressively." Intently, I listened for a hint of a lie in her words. "First, the distance between us growing, until you completely forgot all about 'us' and went chasing after the vision of her…" Alice continued reluctantly. "So amazed were you, a dreamer without night, suddenly able to defeat your true nature and dream."

Sighing, she looked away from me. "All these, I knew… and all these I feared. But, even though I knew, I did not know at what point it would all happen. Therefore, I took my heart and locked it away, thinking that if I made myself indifferent to your love, when this moment came, I wouldn't get hurt… but, Jasper, it still hurts…" she cried through a chockfull of dry tears.

Though I felt her pain as my own, I couldn't find it within myself to feel any sort of sympathy for her self-imposed dilemma. It was just impossible. Not after thinking back to all those moments in which I'd tried to reach out to her.

How many times had I tried to show her through my actions that I needed her? Only to find that, seemingly, my advances were not reciprocated, there's no chance. Many nights had found me wandering aimlessly in an attempt to get away from Alice and her cold 'love' for me, to feel any empathy now. Instead, I felt a cold grip take hold of me, steeling my heart.

"Instead of living in that fear, maybe you should have shown me just how much you wanted and needed me at your side," I finally uttered, my tone merciless. I chuckled dryly as the realization that I didn't know Alice, after all our time together, hit me. "You should have put aside your fear to fearlessly love me." Really, it would have been that simple. Why live in fear of something that has yet to happen? "Maybe then, this wouldn't have happened and you could have kept me oblivious by your side."

Alice jolted from head to toes at my unsympathetic words. Still, I had more to say. "You know, Alice, there was a time during which I would have given an arm and a leg just to see you reach the zenith of your love for me."

For the first time since I've been enduring this existence, I felt tired and tattered. In fact, I didn't even have it in me to feel any more disdain towards her. I just wanted this conversation to be over and move on so that I could run to Bella. To get the chance to once again hug and hold her, until I'm satisfied that my senses are right and that she's still as warm and floral as I remember her to be.

If possible, I felt robbed of something precious. There have been so many things I had shared and explicitly exposed of myself to Alice that I now know, unlike then, should only belong to Bella. Moments, fears, happiness, time, conversations, connections, blundering efforts, caresses, my soul's exposure, and my never reaching love… all of these things, I never should have allowed Alice to see, feel, hear, or experience. I know better now. But somehow, despite my antipathy, I can't regret any of it.

"Jasper, surly, you felt my love… even when I didn't show it?"

Sadly, I smiled at Alice. She shook. "Alice," I began gently, "it's never been about what I have or haven't felt. It's always been about what you've never said…"

"But you felt it right, my love for you?" She was now grasping at straws, desperate.

"Even so, how was I to know, from just feeling, that your love was, is as encompassing as my own was for you? Or that those feelings were meant for me?" I tried explaining. "Not that I'm accusing you of anything… just showing you how desperate my mind had grown from lack of your verbal confirmations."

Even so, I cannot regret loving Alice the only way I knew how back then. In some immeasurable ways, she made me grow and in others she hindered my growth, but most of the time, we grew together and explored. Alice would endlessly be irreplaceable within my heart and mind, only my love for her has now developed into something more filial than Agápe love I had thought it had started with.

"I love you, Jasper, so please, just give me another chance!" Alice suddenly burst, holding fast to my forearms and imploring pleadingly into my eyes. "Please, give me another chance to show you how encompassing my love for you is." My eyes flashed and I pulled myself away from her gripping reach.

"Even a broken faucet that continuously drips will reach a point where its water will evaporate." My answer was simple and weary, but true, if ostensibly senseless. Next, my words were a bit less honest, but not less driven. "Same goes for the love I once felt for you, it has wholly evaporated, Alice. There's only the filial aspect of it now… This is our end, Alice."

Alice shook her head stubbornly. "Even so, evaporated water will become a cloud, eventually, and then, hopefully, it'll pour once again."

Dryly, I laughed. "That might be so, but even rain rarely falls in the desert. And, Alice, honestly speaking, through our days together, you have managed to render me as desolate as a desert." Unable to stop myself and wanting to prove my words, I reached out for Alice this time and stood before her.

"How can you say that?" More than ever, Alice looked like a broken china doll in my eyes. Just like a doll, beautiful and frightening, all in one, the vision of death taken form. Much like her former human counterpart, or what I have imagined her being as a human, and just after her change.

"No matter what you might think, Alice, this isn't easy for me," I confessed. "So, please, don't make it any harder than it has to be and extinguish all hope of there ever being an 'us' again. You will always be irreplaceable and you will always have a special place in my heart. But, just, don't confuse that with lingering love."

"What does that mean?" she asked confusedly. My head tilted to the right and then the left, trying to find a way through which to voice my desire without crushing my former lover. "Jasper, what are you asking of me?" I could not help but smile demurely at her broken question. Of course, Alice would have an idea of exactly what I was asking of her. She just hopes she doesn't. "Do you hate me that much?"

"Oh, Alice…" Gently, like I used to, I caressed her high cheek with nimble fingers. Alice leaned into my touch, allowing her defenses to lower as her eyes fell closed. "Hate you? I don't hate you." She sighed. I felt nothing. "In order for me to hate you, I'd have to have my mind filled with thoughts of you. And that requires a lot of time and energy that I could spend thinking about Bella."

"You are too cruel…" she murmured.

"Honesty often is," I accepted with a demure smile. "So you see, I don't have the energy to hate you, Alice." By now, I had grown so familiar with the planes of her form that I no longer viewed this simple touch as exploring or rememorizing something precious, like I once had. Sighing, as if saying, "See?" I stopped.

"If only I could hate you…"

"Release me…" I simply whispered, pleaded. Allowing my hand to fall back onto my side, I waited and did not breathe. Alice's eyes sharply reopened, boring into mine and searching for any tell-tale signs of that spark we had once shared. There was none. Sighing in defeat, she hugged herself as if trying to barricade her tumbling emotions from me, an impossible feat.

Immediately, I wanted to erase the memory of her touch from my skin. Unable to stop myself, I found that I was comparing this forced moment with Alice with my memory of Bella's warm, heated touches. Clearly, there was no comparison.

There was no question; I craved Bella's touch, while I now abhorred Alice's. But not quite hate. That line, between love and hate, sure is a fine one, I realized. It was as if everything I had once loved about Alice, I now rejected unconsciously and to a frightening level.

"I can't…" she sobbed, shaking her head and causing her inky hair to swish. I stepped back, needing to distance myself from Alice and her spilling mortification.

"You have to." My words were gentle, but firm and, yet again, pleading. Even if I never allowed myself the pleasure of letting Bella know the nature of my feelings for her, I still needed to know that I had the power to do so, if I so wished it, freely. Without any strings attached to Alice.

"Can't I hope…?"

"I thought I'd made myself very clear in this regard earlier in our conversation?" My response came in the form of a broken smile that stretched but did not reach my black eyes. The stoic action made my mouth feel formless and a little painful. Vehemently, I shook my head in a negative. I couldn't leave room for misunderstanding later, or much less hope.

"I can't accept it," Alice said simply, ever so stubbornly.

"Alice…" I hissed in warning.

She shook her head. "Don't expect me to let you go, just because you requested it, Jasper," she hissed back. Her own eyes black now, she added, "Especially because it's Bella, a mere human. How could you've chosen her over me? I can't. I cannot fathom it."

Hissing as Alice degraded Bella, I angrily said, "Not long ago this mere human was on her way to becoming a friend and possible family to you, to all of us." My snarl crowded our surroundings, echoing.

"That was before she had the audacity to take my husband's sight away from me and redirected it on herself!"

I scoffed. "Alice, but for merely existing, Bella has played no part in my change of heart. There has been no seducing on her part. The fault falls entirely on me." Taken aback, Alice stared, brow furrowed and unwilling to accept the spelled out truth of my betrayal. "I started loving her without even meaning to and in doing so, completely eclipsed every feeling I had once thought of as love."

"That can't be…"

"I too thought like that. Before Bella, I had not the slightest idea of what love is…" I mused. "I didn't understand to what level love could truly transform someone, especially someone like me."

"I can't do this. I can't listen to this…" Alice burbled, turning away from me and my words with her hands over her ears. Lightning fast, I held steadfast onto her wrist, stopping her retreat. "You can't make me listen," she pleaded pathetically.

I ignored her. "For the first time, Alice, since this damned existence has sentenced me to walk this earth and watch over and over again as everyone around me I've ever cared about died, I felt like I could finally forgive myself," I divulged, breathing my words into her ear. Despite the situation, I could hear my smile and feel my excitement. "I never thought it possible, Alice, but I've finally learned how to love myself…"

"You are much too cruel…"

I shook my head. "No, Alice, I'm simply being honest. Like I said before, honesty, sometimes, can be very cruel especially when you don't want to hear it. That's why, until you forced me to realize it, I hadn't allowed myself to bask in the fact that I had fallen ever so hard for Isabella Swan."

"Don't say her name!" she whispered, lips quivering. "I shouldn't have said anything… I shouldn't have seen…"

"It wouldn't have changed anything."

"Perhaps," she admitted, glancing over her shoulder to look at me with a pained expression as she released her wrist from my hold. I allowed it. "But it could have bought me the time I needed to win you back. Now, I feel like I can't even touch you, even when you are this close." For emphasis, she flushed her back against my chest. "See?"

The first thoughts that came into my mind as our bodies made contact were rather surprising. I couldn't help but wonder, how did I ever think we fitted perfectly? How had it ever escaped me that I began where she ended? Who would have thought that the one formed to fit my mold would be a human girl, as perfect to me as her imperfections allow her to be.

"You could chase after all the time in the world, Alice, but you no longer hold the same appeal you once had in my eyes," I stated woefully. "There's no way you can remedy that now… Even so, I don't regret loving you. You'll always remain as someone irreplaceable in my history."

"There must be a way…" She hoped. In that instant her eyes clouded over and I cursed myself for worrying. Old habits would die hard, if at all. Suddenly, she was smiling triumphantly. "What would you do if she ever decided to go back to him, to Edward?"

It was my turn to back away from her. "I know who you are referring to," I hissed. "There's no need for you to clarify." Alice had just pierced me with a verbal dagger through the heart with that undignified question. "Is that what you saw?" I demanded in a harsh whisper without looking at her.

"Well then, would you be able to let her go?" she challenged.

I could not picture myself letting Bella go back to her bad habit, and so my immediate mental response was a solid 'no' that turned into a doubtful one as Alice's smile grew ever so smug with my insecurity. Fear. Fear of losing Bella to someone undeserving of her love tormented me, though it had no right to. This is just plain irrationality! I thought aghast.

"Is that what you saw?" I demanded again, my barely concealed rage causing the leaves around us to bronze and wither. Alice shivered, but her smile did not wane.

"I'll take that as a no then," Alice announced cheerily. "Maybe if you ask her in a subtle way she won't notice you're being controlling and won't hate you and come to love you." She taunted.

I scowled. Now she was just being cruel and twisting that dagger deeper into my heart. Running through different scenarios of Edward's return made me see red. The imagery was so vivid in my mind that I could just see it unfold before me.

I could vividly picture him coming back and asking for Bella's forgiveness and maybe even a second chance to be the one to hold her heart, like he has the right to do so. Then, just as vividly, I can see Bella, readily accepting his love, and forgiving him without question, happily reunited with her love. It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I couldn't accept it. I wouldn't.

But just as I reached this conclusion, the image of a scenario in which I begged Bella to stay away from my brother unfolded and I watched as Bella's rich brown eyes turned from kind, to resentful, and then hateful. All aimed at me. I couldn't have that either.

Staggering back from the image, I knew I couldn't do that to her when the time came, and it would come. Alice had, in her own twisted way, warned me of much. Running a hand haphazardly through my hair, I chased the imagery away and refocused on the now. When the time came, then and only then, I will know how to respond in kind.

Alice's eyes unfocused and her face blanched as they refocused on me once again. "You…"

"I'll say and do what she needs me to say and do… even if it means tearing my own heart out and offering her the stake to pierce it with."

"How can you touch her so easily?" Alice asked instead, trying to distract herself.

I chuckled. "Easily? No, Alice. By all means, touching Bella isn't easy… it burns every time, but it's so addictive, I have to do it and can't keep myself from going back for a taste of her inferno… as torturous as the venom that coats our tongues and veins…"

"How?"

"How can I put myself through that?" I offered.

Alice nodded.

"I love her," I simply stated. Alice flinched. "I need her touch as much as I need the blood that sustains us."

"I love you."

"I know now…"

"Sorry." I waited. She added, "I still can't bring myself to accept that I've lost you…"

"She still can't accept that she's lost Edward, but she knows she has," I pressed gently. Alice's eyes moistened with anguished sadness.

"Promise me something, Alice?" Her eyes beseeched me. "Promise me that no matter what you won't disappear from our lives?" Alice looked doubtful for a moment so I hasten to add, "If not for my sake, do it for Bella. She doesn't know."

"But she will…"

"Not yet," I added firmly. "If I let her know, then we can come to some sort of term when it comes to that…"

"You're asking too much," she reproaches.

"I am asking you not to abandon your friend," I simplified. "This time around, it won't be like with Edward. I won't allow it. I can't stand seeing her fall apart a second time."

"Because you love her…"

"Because I love her," I affirmed.

"You loved me once too," she reminded me.

"Once," I agree.

"So how can you ask me to watch as you move on to love someone besides me? Aren't you being too pitiless?"

"I am," I agree, once again. "But it is for her… and I would do and be anything she needs me to do and be, even if that means twisting your arm."

"What about me?"

"What about you, Alice?"

"I can't make any promises…" she finally caved. I smiled.

"Thank you…"

"This isn't over," she warned. And I could feel the threat and truth of her words. It wasn't over. It never would be.

"I know," I acknowledged.

"I've never seen you like this…" Alice trailed off in wonder.

"I haven't seen Bella in three days, let's go back," I briskly announced. This wasn't part of severing a long term relationship route I was willing to venture into right now.

"It suits you," she complimented, though slightly begrudging.

"I'm going," I interrupted. "You may fallow if you wish."

Putting away thoughts of brown eyes looking at me hatefully, I decided that would know how to react when the time came. Turning on my heel and without waiting for Alice to respond, I ran towards home, towards Bella.

oOo

Now closer to the Swan's home and with the door in sight, I picked up signs of a commotion inside. Bella's heart was hammering along with another and her emotions were at war. Suddenly, the house phone rang and a surmountable amount of irritation made me stop. A male voice spoke into the phone, almost in a bark and I knew who the source of Bella's sea of dizzying emotions was. Jacob Black. The thought of his name and his proximity to Bella made me angry with rage.

The air reeked of him, even all the way out here. With a low growl, I began running again and as a means of distracting myself and calming my own growing irritation, I thought of what had happened three days ago in this very home.

oOo

"Alice, I wasn't trying to kill myself," Bella clarified.

Something in her tone and emotions made me doubt her, though I tried not to. Even Alice was staring after her dubiously, but that was to be expected. To Alice, what she saw on her visions was the sole truth.

"So you're telling me you didn't jump off a cliff?" Alice countered.

"No, but..." Bella made a face. The growing knot in my stomach twisted as a little tell-tale feeling made its self known to me and my gift. "It was just for fun." Alice's expression grew stern, while mine creased with unease and worry. "I had seen some of Jacob's friends doing it," she insisted. "It seemed... fun, and since I was with them..." Alice and I waited. "It never occurred to me that the storm would affect the currents. In reality, I didn't give much thought to the water."

This much, I knew was true. I could feel and taste it in the air. Still, it wasn't like Bella to be so careless… something was amiss here. My gaze fell on Alice, gauging her reaction. As expected. Alice wasn't buying a word of it, I could tell. And, honestly, though I did not wish it to be so, neither was I.

However, I clearly noted that she was still thinking that Bella had done this with the intention of committing suicide. Stubbornly, I still held hope that that hadn't been the case. Deep down, from what Bella's emotions were telling me, I knew there was more to this story than an attempted suicide gone wrong. Though, obviously, she hadn't done it, as she was trying to lead us into believing, "just for fun".

My gaze switched over to Bella with intrigue, as a sudden surge of determination filled the air. It was emanating from her. Glancing into her brown eyes, I knew. A diversion was brewing and forming behind those twin pools of coffee. Wait for it…

"But if you saw me there, how come you didn't see Jacob?" I had to hand it to the girl; it was a legitimate question and a good diversion. I chuckled silently as Alice cocked her head, distracted, and Bella continued, "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob had not jumped in after me. Well, okay, there's no question of probabilities, I would have drowned for sure, but the fact is that Jake got me out of the water, and I suppose, I crawled to the beach, I don't remember that part."

So I owed the mongrel her life after all. The realization left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I was too thankful to let the thought annoy me for too long. "Perhaps he was over a minute under water until he caught me. Why didn't you see that?"

Alice frowned and I could feel her puzzlement teasing my taste buds. "Someone rescued you?"

"Yes. Jacob saved me." Bella and I watched Alice curiously as a series of enigmatic thoughts passed fleetingly across her face. Something was bothering her...

Had her vision been imperfect? I wondered. I wasn't sure. I mean, it was rear for Alice to have an imperfect vision, but it had happened in the past. And sometimes, she just missed vital points due to indecisiveness. Then Alice deliberately walked over to us, bent over, and sniffed Bella's shoulder.

Bella froze. I swallowed an irrational urge to snarl at Alice for making Bella react the way she had. But more than anything, I hated that she had stepped so closed to the pair of us, and she had had the nerve to go about sniffing Bella right under my nose.

"Don't be ridiculous," Alice murmured, meanwhile sniffing Bella some more. Taking several steps back and making sure Bella followed, I put some distance between Alice, Bella and myself, a low, warning growl forming deep in my chest.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked and since I wasn't sure at whom she was aiming the question, I remained silent and ignored the question.

Alice too ignored her question. "Who was with you, just a moment ago?" My eyes snapped to hers, but she wouldn't look at me. So she had known. No wonder she had lowered her voice to a whisper… "It sounded like you were arguing."

"Jacob Black," Bella answered. My hands instinctively wrapped themselves around her waist, hating the sound of another male's name on her tongue. "He's… my best friend or something like that." I felt a pang at her words. Then shock. "At least he was…"

I've always looked upon people who lived their lives in a state of constant jealousy with contempt. That's why, when jealousy cursed through my veins just now, I knew exactly what emotion was being invoked by the words of the human in my arms. If I hated experiencing this emotion secondhand, then you can imagine just how much I reviled experiencing it firsthand. I was appalled at myself.

Glancing down at Bella, my jealousy increased tenfold as I suspected she was thinking about him, Jacob. There was a feeling of doubt, sinking, and loss. I swallowed my snarl, realizing I'd just scare her and, probably, send her running from my arms into Alice's. I didn't want that. Still needing the reassurance that she was really here and the only way to do that was to feel myself wrapped around her warmth, I ruled it in.

"What?" Bella sounded indignant as she glanced between Alice and me, noting our concern for the first time.

"I don't know," Alice commented. "I'm not sure what this could mean."

"Well, at least I'm not dead."

At Bella's words, Alice's eyes turned to that familiar state of blankness I was so used to. The same eyes that had always sent me running to her side in order to ensure her protection or simply ask what she was seeing, and or how I could ease any uncertainty. Now, I struggled with myself to not do the same. Fighting force of habit, I grounded myself as I inhaled Bella's scent and wound myself even more around her.

Bella gasped slightly as my fingers accidently skimmed over the inch of exposed skin just below her navel. "Jasper…"

"Sorry," I mumbled, almost too huskily. Bella shivered. She's so warm there… I wanted, no, needed to tou-

Much too sudden, Alice's eyes became unclouded again and her eyes immediately landed on the pair of us, accusingly. Though Bella failed to see this, I didn't. I saw the hardening of her eyes, the fractional, unsure step in our direction, the steadying breath she had taken, followed by her eyes closing tightly, and finally, deciding to pretend that nothing had happened.

Well done, little Ali. Someone's learning…

"He's behaved like a fool, thinking you could survive on your own." Or maybe not, I mentally scowled. Outwardly, I glared at Alice. She ignored me. "I've never known someone to so blatantly play with their live."

"I survived," Bella pointed out once again.

oOo

Bella had indeed survived, but she had also become aware of a threat that I hadn't wanted her to become aware of -Victoria. And just like the little magnet for all kinds of supernatural trouble she is, Bella considered the mutt, Jacob Black, to be her best friend and ray of sunshine, or something to that nature. I hated it. Especially how he had rang her house phone to make sure that she was still alive.

Just as quickly as the memories of that day and my thoughts had invaded my mind, they vanished as I felt Alice's delicate but strong palm pressing onto my left shoulder.

"Yes, Alice?" I asked irritably and without turning.

"Edward's in trouble." Her words brought me to an abrupt halt. Did she honestly think I would care about Edward after everything we've talked about? Especially after seeing my reaction every time his name was brought up?

Glancing over my shoulder at Alice all my thoughts stopped. No. Alice wasn't trying to provoke me. Something was really going down and she was concerned.

Rolling my eyes, I pinched my nose between my thumb and forefinger. "Alice, for heaven's sake, what's that Yankee gotten himself into this time?" Despite myself, I was worried about the brat. Family will be family after all, no matter just how badly they've wronged you and those you've come to love.

"Who was it?" I could distinctly hear Bella ask from within her home.

"He thinks Bella's dead," she answered. I could see the appeal, same as I could see the problem.

"Pray tell, Alice, what do you want me to do about Edward and his biased assumptions?" I asked irritably.

"He's going to the Volturi," Alice pressed.

"That was him on the phone, wasn't it?" I hissed. Did he always need to be so overdramatic with everything? Then again, I understood, better than anyone, the feeling of thinking I'd have to endure through a world without Bella. Maybe, this time around, he isn't being overdramatic. "Get him on the phone. Now. Before he does anything stupid."

"He's already done so."

"Great," I gritted out.

"We need to tell Bella."

"You're right," I agreed begrudgingly. "Come."

oOo

A/N: So... I know, I know, it has been a really long time since my last update, my sincerest apologies. Just, this chapter was a hard one to write because of how complex ending a relationship is. There's no way that there'd be no lingering feelings there... even if they are not of a romantic nature! Please, let me know how I did? R&R? See you guys soon.