A/N: Guys, as before, everything that you see written in Italics and in Bold symbolizes Jasper's demon. However, whenever you now see something just in Bold that means that Jasper and his demon are thinking it together.

Well, that is all for my author's not at the start of the story. Thank you for reading so faithfully! Please, proceed to read and thoroughly enjoy!

…

…

Formerly;

"I found… you?" I finally manage to choke out, fearing that this is naught but a dream…

But the warm woman, still flush against my winter gives a nod of confirmation as she bites her lower lip, trying not to laugh at, probably, the stupid and astounded look on my face.

Without further preamble, I hug her closer, almost too close, close enough to break her, and burying my face at her neck, I inhale her in, deeply and my lips brush against her warm column as I whisper, "Bella… I can't believe I've finallyfound you…"

…

…

Memoirs of Her Scent

Chapter 30:

Raison d'être

Verve of my verve... my essential hope, I have found you.

For you I am, for you I will be, and with you, I am brought into being.

...

Over and over again, the words, "I found you", tumble out of my lips in a whisper filled with reverent disbelieve. The words are spoken in such a rush that they are practically inaudible to my own ears and they are like cold, sweet river water, rushing and rippling over smooth rocks on its way to merge with the saline of the ocean sea, overwhelming.

Lulling and calming, natural and beautiful, and simply, breathless and breathtaking, just like the woman whom I am whispering the words to; though she has no hope of catching them in the wind of their said abscond. Trapped between a wall and a hard, cold place, my encasing arms... so afraid to let go, for fear that she might be nothing but a figment of a cruel and torturing imagination.

Her scent, her warmth, her breath, her essence, her whispers, her trembling body and lips against my ear, and the salt of her tears, all envelope me with care and I allow myself the abandon of rationale or consciousness to drown in it all. For her, I will take unconsciousness over consciousness just to be where she is, even if it is naught but a dream.

"Jasper?" I hear her whimper and her voice are so clear and tentative, near my ear, and her breath so warm, whispering her scent across my skin of unchanging winter, attempting to bring its spring, that there is no arguing that she is real…

And just like that, the moment ends. Awareness takes hold of me, of what I am doing, and I let go of Bella as if she were a hot rod trying to terminate my inadequate existence, backing away from her in horror. Backing away until the backs of my knees touch her bed, I stare between Bella and my trembling hands; they still remember her heat and the feel of her planes and curves of her body….

Shaking my head as her lips move; forming words I can't hear, or form into actual words in my muddled brain and horror-struck realization...

…I could have hurt her... Maybe I already did... God I hurt her…

"Jasper?"

Searchingly, my eyes run over the length of her body clinically, trying to see if I could find traces of any damage I might have inflicted and I ridiculously find myself wishing that I could see that which her clothing conceals from my roving eyes. Where my hands had previously been on her body, the outside of her thighs, her hips, the path of her ribs, and back...

The thought of what her thin layers of fabric might be veiling from my eyes sickens me. …Bruises and congealing blood…. I swallow thickly and look away from her, and feeling disgusted with me, unable to meet her eyes.

She was wrong…

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I hear her ask and shift, I dare not look at her. "Jasper, please, look at me…" she pleads through a strangled sob. The tears in her throat render me helpless and I obey. My breath catches at the sight of her face.

Her cheeks are pink, her lips parted, red, quivering, and swollen, her breath coming in quick, short bursts, causing her breast to rise and fall hypnotically, her eyes are wet with tears that still fall and brimmed with red, but not swollen, yet, and her hair is in a beautiful chaos, and the morning light illuminates her from the inside out. Highlighting all of her best features, like a spotlight on a canvas, making her tearful dark eyes shine a lighter hue, with many more strokes of brown that I didn't even know existed, and her disarray of tresses almost seems like a warm halo of brown, reds, and blacks, exquisite.

"Jasper…" she cries with relief as our eyes meet and she takes an uncertain step in my frozen direction. Heavily, I sit down on her bed and hear it groan in protest. Bella halts, her heartbeat spikes, and I stop breathing, closing my eyes. Listening to the sound of her familiar and comforting heartbeat, I feel the flames of my thirst lick the encircling column of my throat with burning need, equally familiar and inviting, but not welcomed by me.

Not now… not now… I've hurt her enough…

The floorboards creak on the third heartbeat and my eyes snap open, Bella's a vision, walking purposefully in my direction. Not a trace of fear inundates her emotions, only determination. Letting go of the breath I'd been holding, intently, I stare at her body and take another moment to watch, to see, if any of her movements might betray any sign of pain, as Bella slowly approaches me.

Finding nothing, I sigh, relived, though I know it might be too early to do so. For now I am satisfied…

"Jasper?" At the sound of her uncertain voice, my eyes lift to her worried face and meet similarly worrying eyes much closer than I had expected. I swallow. "I'm h-home," she says slowly, breathlessly, and I stare, spellbound, as she finally stands before me.

"Bella," I breathe, but I don't think she hears me. Actually, I don't know if my lips even moved, too afraid of ending the sudden spell I was under. Bella is here… she, truly, is here…

Without further preamble, her hands, on either side of my cheeks, cradle my face after a small, trembling hesitation. My breath leaves me in a shuddering rush, stroking her skin, ruffling her hair, and causing her to shiver.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" She solicits in a wounded whisper and my eyes snap back open. I hadn't realized I had closed them in the first place. "Look, I'm fine… you didn't hurt me, you can't hurt me…" Starting into her eyes, I see the same hurt and hope that I had heard in her voice and felt in her emotions.

"Of course I am," I choke out the words, desperate to reassure her. "I thought-" -I swallow thickly, stuttering- "I thought I- I wouldn't get to see you again," I finally admit.

"Jasper, Jasper… Open your eyes, please?" I hear Bella plead quietly. I don't. "Look at me. Open your eyes and look at me, Jasper?" Bella sighs and I hear her brush her tresses behind her ears. "Feel and then open your eyes and look at me, okay?" She suddenly requests and I'm too startled to even nod. Even so, Bella is patient though she sighs impatiently.

Out of deranged fear, I had closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the fear, pity, or disgust that Bella's eyes were sure to be reflecting at my confession. Therefore, when I waited to feel as Bella had requested and felt the total opposite in her elated emotions, my eyes flashed open to meet hers in wonder. Bella is crying...

"I missed you..." She cries and it sounds so much like an accusation that I smirk and she chuckles. "I wanted to come back the moment I left," she confesses and my heart squeezes it is way up and into my throat. "Why didn't you try to stop me, like Jacob?"

"Don't cry," I beg of her, "please, Bella," -it feels so good to say her name and have he hear it that it takes me a moment to compose myself- "don't cry..." It breaks my heart…

"It's your fault, all of it," she blatantly accuses, actually poking my chest.

"I'm sorry," I apologize though I'm not really sure why... "If I'd stopped you, would you have stayed?"

"Yes," she cries and I gather her in my arms as her entire frame shakes with the agony of her sobs. "If you -if you- Jasper!" she cries, trembling furiously in my arms, stuttering and starting again, her words a jumbled mess.

"Bella, hush, it's alright, breathe," I plead but Bella shakes her head. Confused, I don't know what to do so I rub her arms, knowing that it won't warm her and it angers me, my inability.

Again, she attempts to make sense of her words, saying, "If it was you… I would have stayed."

"Then what would have happened to -to Edward?" She stiffens at the sound of his name, or perhaps the hiss of his name on my lips. "Would you have forgiven me if he'd-" Ii couldn't finish the though, it made me just as sick as saying his name did. But I couldn't think anymore, anyway, the moment Bella's eyes meet mine.

"No," she answers honestly, a terrifying whisper that sends a shiver up my tense spine. Porcelain crumbles, and so does my heart in that instant. "But not because you asked me to stay," she adds, playing with the windmills at the nape of my neck. "But because I stayed anyways, knowing what might happen, and because it was I and not you that decided to give in to your plea…" -she swallowed, looking intently between my eyes- "I'd resent you because I would have no one to blame but myself."

"And I wouldn't be able to live with the fact that you wouldn't blame me," I agree.

"None of those things matters now," she dismisses quietly. "I went, I came, I am home, and I am tired."

"Welcome home, Bella," I whisper against her exposed shoulder and I feel her smile against the crook of my neck. Content, I start to fall back into the mattress and take Bella with me, hoping she'll follow.

I don't know when it happened, but just being where she is, is more than enough…

"It's great to be home…" Trustingly, she follows, molding her yielding body comfortably to my unyielding one with a sigh.

"Sleep now," I urge, sighing, "I'll be here when you wake."

"You better be," she threatense weekly, "I've missed you too much to miss you while I sleep and when I wake," -she yawns- "now that I'm back…."

"I promise…"

"Good…" she grumbles and almost immediately, her breathing evens out and she's asleep and in my arms, where she belongs.

What I don't ask, though I really wanted to, is;

Where are Edward and Alice?

…

Ten hours into Bella's sleep, I got the answer to one half of my question as my eyes fluttered open from my feigned sleep at the sound of an unnatural surge of wind coming through the open window. Edward was standing by the open window, body tense and emotions full of questions and anger, looking, for lack of a better word, murderous.

"Edward, good tidings," I whisper cordially and with a tight smile on my face, trying not to feel as tense as he was. "Where's dear Alice?"

"Back home with the others and asking for you," he tells me through barely controlled anger. "She didn't think it wise to come." His eyes bore intently into my mine as he says this, I meet it with nonchalance. "Now I see why."

As if on cue, my cell phone buzzed on Bella's night stand and ignoring Edward, I reached for it. Alice and Emmett, they both had sent me messages saying that they were back home and with the rest of the family. I smiled. Sadly enough, that included Edward too. I scowl and meet Edward's eyes once again. He's scowling as well.

"I see," I nod, sinking deeper into the mattress as Bella shifts above me, rubbing away some hair from her face with the back of her hand, and sighs. I help her, removing some wayward tresses without much thought and Edward fallows the movement and caress of my knuckles over her cheek impassively by the time I realize what I've done. I try and remain calm.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asks through gritted teeth, a little too loudly. I flinch and glance at Bella, hoping that he hasn't waken her. He hasn't. I sigh with relief. Edward had followed my every movement with his eyes and heard my every thought and when I meet his eyes again, they are cold and unforgiving, like steel. "How come I didn't hear your thoughts?" Begrudging curiosity… I smile. Edward never could help himself.

"She's sleeping," I remind him, motioning to the sleeping woman in my arms and adding, "keep your voice down, will you? She needs all the rest she can get. Bella's human, after all." And as if she knows I am talking about her, she shifts again and snuggles closer to my body, much to Edward's chagrin.

"I don't need you of all people to remind me of her humanity," Edward hisses, "And don't say her name." And I try very hard to control the urge to roll my eyes at him and ask him what he meant by, "someone like you".

"I was sleeping too," I explain instead, shrugging and ignoring his last sentence completely. Edward frowns, obviously thinking I've gone down the deep end. "Besides, I could be asking you the same thing…"

"I -I needed to see her, make sure-" he stutters and I have the gnawing feeling that Bella doesn't want him here, in her room, or near her, if his guilt and fidgeting is anything to go by. And I am very curious to know what happened, but not from Edward… Even Alice would have been a better choice right now.

"So you intrude upon her trust?" I point out.

"Get away from her," he growls, quiet and guttural, avoiding the question and oozing shame. "Unlike you, I am welcome here!" Meaning, I have hit the nail in the head.

I'm not so sure about that… I mumble mentally before remembering that the mind reader is in the room. Too bad, I think as I hear his warning snarl. Questioning, I raise a brow and calmly admit, "I can't."

"I'm sure you can," he argues through gritted teeth and runs a hand through his copper hair impatiently. "I'll take your place and she'll be fine."

She wants me here, I tell him mentally for fear that he might catch how much his words affect me and to distract myself from the painful pang his words have induced. Before she went to be I promised her I'd be here when she wakes.

He scoffs, "I'm sure you did." I frown. "Just like every time you slip and promise not to do it again… but end up slipping just the same."

It's my turn to growl. "Careful brother," I caution humorlessly but do not move an inch. He smirks. Two can play at this game. Eyes on Edward, I bury my nose on the exposed crook of Bella's neck, where her neck and shoulder merge, and tauntingly breathe her in, watching for his reaction. "She smells so good, brother…" I breathe out in a moan. As expected, Edward tenses at my harmless taunt. "So defenseless and trusting in my arms…"

"Jasper," he hisses out in warning, rooted to the spot and knowing that if I wanted, Bella would be dead before he could get close enough to stop me. How little he knows me.

"Do you honestly think I would hurt her?" I ask bitterly and slightly affronted. "Who do you think remained at her side when you abandoned her?" Edward flinches at the jab and reminder. I sneer. "Who do you think dried her tears and dulled her pain while you weren't here, if not I?"

"What right do you have?" A savage snarl forms and distorts his face as he speaks; while I remain calm and my fingers mindlessly explore every inch of Bella's back, the trail followed closely by Edward's eyes.

"No, what right do you have?" I countered seething. "You were the one that left her behind in those dangerous woods, knowing the very dangers they kept. While I remained and took care of her and soothed her screams of terror to a whimper," I scoffed. "I did that. Not you."

"Yo-"

"So no, Edward, if I wanted Bella dead," -I spat the word in disgust, interrupting him with a vehement shake of my head and my words- "she would have been by now." A surge of shock and uncertainty ran through him. "Wouldn't you think, brother?"

"From what I hear you also abandoned her," he hisses, voice and body visibly trembling with the effort not to drag me out of Bella's bed and cradling arms.

"And just as soon as I left, I wanted to turn back," I murmur, my anger coiling and uncoiling within me as I draped an arm behind my head nonchalantly, trying to look unaffected. "And when I did," I swallow thickly before adding in a whisper, "she forgave me…"

"She's forgiven me too," Edward offers smugly and disbelievingly, feeling victorious by my obvious shocked expression at hearing such admission. "And now I'm back," he adds unkindly, "There's no need for you to stay around and comfort her. That's my job, no yours."

Edward's words are like a stake through my heart and he knows it. Still, I remain. Narrowing his eyes, he growls at me and I glare back. I'm not moving until she wakes up and tells me otherwise, I tell him resolutely. Besides, I'm under the impression that you shouldn't be here in the first place.

I feel the truth of my guess in his feelings. "Then let's wake her up so she can send you away!" he hisses for my ears alone.

I glare at him, daring him. "You wouldn't," I say, echoing Bella's words of not so long ago and remembering what I wanted to tell her not soon after.

"Bella, it's time to wake up," he says and my eyes widen. Without thinking, my hands go to cup around Bella's ears, trying to keep her from hearing his voice.

"Stop that!" I hiss.

"Then, leave."

"Isabella wants me here." Too late, I realized that I had said her full name… Apparently, that was the last straw for Edward.

"Leave. Now," Edward snarled savagely and Bella stirred in my arms, waking. Thankfully, Charlie Swan wasn't in the house yet.

"J -Jasper… what's going on?" Bella asks with a yawn stretching out her words and blinking sleepily as she scratches her head.

"Bella, just go back to sleep," I urge, smiling at her, and caressing her jaw, and adding, "you can catch another three to four hours don't-"

"Bella?" Edward interjects and Bella tenses at the sound of his voice and her emotions are a whirlwind of shock, uncertainty, confusion, resentment, sadness, anger, and alarm.

"E-Edward?" Bella stutters out but she doesn't turn to the sound of his voice and meet his eyes. Instead, her fingers clutch tightly to the front of my shirt and her heart speeds up as she tries to merge her body into mine.

"You scared her!" I accuse, glaring at Edward with renewed vehemence.

"Jas-Jasper?" she gasps, her panic reaching new levels at the sight of my impassiveness.

"Shh…" I hush, "it's alright Bella, and I'm here. I'm still here, like I promised."

"You… are…" she agrees, taking deep, steadying breaths while staring into my eyes and trying to calm down. Edward doesn't like this one bit.

"You love her?" He accuses so savagely that it thankfully isn't at a human decibel. Bella stiffens, having heard the savageness behind his snarl.

"Edward?" she cautiously asks, searching for him and looking away from me.

"I'm here love," he assures her and coming reaching distance from the bed, he reaches out to touch her. Bella flinches and trembles in my arms.

"I'm here, I'm here…" I whisper to her over and over again and hold her tighter as Edward retrieves his fisted hand. "There's nothing to fear." Edward's emission of ranging jealousy, rejection, and anger surged from his quivering form and onto me like a crippling torrent that was trying to get me under submission.

"Bella, please, tell Jasper to go," Edward pleaded quietly, trying one last time. "I have a few things I want to say to you…" Bella shook her head. "Please?"

"Whatever you have to say to me, you can say it in front of Jasper, Edward," Bella told him quietly, shifting in my arms to glance at him so that he'd know just how serious she was being. Being the helpful being that I am, I took Bella's feelings and made them known to him. Though he practically scowled at me, he subtly nodded in thanks and staggered a step back.

You are welcome.

"Does that mean you want me to leave?" Edward asked her cautiously and Bella fidgeted in my arms, molding her back to my chest fully.

She shook her head. "I want Jasper here…" she corrected, "I need him here with me... he promised…" As she whispered this last part, she glanced at me for confirmation with a questioning smile and I couldn't quite conceal the smile that her words carved onto my lips.

She needs me.

"We'll talk when you don't need Jasper around then," Edward relented stiffly and before Bella could protest, he was gone and she was sobbing in my arms. Once again, I was left with the task of drying her tears and Edward's name fell like a curse from my lips.

…

"Edward!" I snarl savagely. "I want your ashes, get out here and fight!"

...

No, that's not right, I want blood…

Limbs ripped…

Throat torn open…

Then, the ashes…

...

"Edward!"

Once again I am prowling, teeth bared, limbs taught, and muscles tense, ready to lounge, attack, and kill. If only he would just answer my call and fight me the way we've both been wanting to…

…

Walking toward the line of thickening trees and hoping not to be seen, my ears perk up at the familiar sound of Bella's heartbeat and her tripping, shuffling footfalls. For a moment I war with myself, stay or go, face her or hide from her, before I finally decided to just go.

Only, I take too long to reach my decision because now, I can hear her heartbeat and her steps getting closer and I can smell her warmth in the scant wind… Walk away, I tell myself, and then-

"Jasper?" she says and my spine prickles with a tremor of delight at the sound of my name on her tongue and lips. My eyes fall shut in appreciation, remembering the sound of her voice calling my name and engraving it into memory for another day. Sure that it'll never do it justice to hearing her voice directly from her lips, but it'll have to do when her voice is lacking…

I'm here. I'm here… always here… always, forever, and eternally waiting for you and your heart to beat for me alone, as mine beats alive for you… I want to tell her. Instead, I remain silent, listening to her heartbeat, her rushing blood, which tempts me as always, her breathing, and longing to feel her warmth instead of just savoring it in my tongue. Still, I do not have the courage toturn around and face her.

The wind sweeps the area, directly from behind me, exactly from the direction in which Bella's standing, bringing her appetizing scent that much more concentrated to envelope around me and tempt my senses.

She's still as mouth watering as ever; my venom reminds me as it floods my mouth and caresses my tongue in instant response, before I manage to swallow it along with the growing urge to give in to temptation.

That was close…

I shudder. How did she find me, or how did she know, guess that I would be here? Why is she even here?

She shouldn't be here…

I want her here… in our place…

It isn't wise.

"Where are you going?" she asks next, and though her voice is a cool, calm, and collected façade, I can taste, hear, and feel the wounded desperation almost over spilling into the surface when her voice barely cracks at the very end. I want to hold her.

Daring and fearing, I take a step forward and away from her presence, the feel of her eyes on the back of my head willing and daring me to turn, and the alluring, comforting sound of her erratic heart, most of all. But the falling and stammering sound of her somersaulting heartbeat gives me absolute pause. Again, I doubt myself, like I always do when things relate to one Isabella Swan.

I sigh. But I do not turn to face her, speak, or, heaven forbid, answer her question. If I did, I will have to lie and I seem to not possess the ability to lie to Bella. Not to her face. However this seems to be enough for Bella as she speaks again, saying something I do not expect;

"He proposed," she whispers, "Edward."

Before she can blink and I can think about my actions, I'm standing a breath away from Bella, breathing harshly and glaring at her as she stares up at me defiantly. I blink and fist my hands to my side in order to force myself to not reach out and touch her as I take apart and scrutinize her every emotions as they filter over me.

"What did you just say?" I ask her darkly, feeling breathless.

It's not that I didn't hear, I know exactly what she said, but what I didn't know is what her emotions are trying to tell me. I need to know if her face shows the same things that her emotions portrayed and betrayed.

"Edward just proposed," she repeats, her hands trying to warm her arms as she chuckles nervously under the intensity of my tortured gaze. I shudder.

Concentrating, I reach out, trying not to mingle my tortured emotions with the ones I'm trying to extract from hers. There, I think as I find what I had been looking for. Bella's happiness over Edward's proposal, her bewilderment, her longing, astonishment, denial, uncertainty, and her love…

With a pang as I find that last of emotions, I retrieve to myself again and take a physically painful step away from Bella as I force my mouth to ask the question that my heart does not want an answer to. Taking a shuddering breath and against my better judgment, I ask;

"And what is your answer?" Surprise and nervousness flashes through her at my question and that's when I decide that I really don't want or need to know. In complete agreement with my heart, before Bella's answer can leave her parting lips, I interrupt, "Never mind." She frowns, looking confused. "That's between you and my br- Edward," I explain and step further away from her, looking away from her eyes. "A third-party has no business there. That's good. You got to talk to him alone, like he wanted…" I trail off because I can't stand for Bella to hear the tears in my voice.

Even now, when she's telling me that she's been proposed to by my brother, looking and feeling happy, I still love her, even though she is ripping my heart right out of my chest and stepping all over it…

If I could hate her, resent her, and walk away from her…

Everything will be so much easier…

Keep on walking and never look back, she's never been mine for the take anyway, so what does it matter, right?

Tearing my own heart apart and stepping over the broken remains of porcelain, I fully give my back to Bella and prepare myself to walk away. For now…

"Whe-where are you going?" Bella stutters out in a panic that has her heart racing.

"Out of town," I answer simply, easily able to lie because my back is to her and I can't see the hurt in her eyes, even if I can feel it and hate myself for being the inflictor.

"That's it then!" she shouts angrily and feeling just as livid. Influenced by her anger and my torment, I round on her as she says, "Edward's back and now your promise to me means nothing?"

"It means everything to me!" I argue back, livid, my voice so loud that a flock of birds flew away angrily, chirping in protest and Bella's eyes widen but her own lividness does not wither. "Eternity, remember!" I'm staring her down and breathing so hard that my nose is flaring with the effort. Even so, she doesn't flinch, she remains unfazed.

"Then what are you doing walking away?" she counters, fuming, arms crossing over her chest and foot thudding at the ground. Frustrated, I rake a hand through my hair savagely. "Didn't you hear me tell Edward that I needed you last night?" She glares, cheeks flaring. "Did I ever say or tell you to go after that? That I didn't need or want you here?"

"No!" I snarl. Triumph. I glare at her as her triumphant emotions slams into me but she only shrugs. "Maybe you should," I grit out and her emotions go so bizarre in that instant that my head feels like it's reeling, trying to make head or tail of them.

This woman doesn't make sense!

She never has.

I stop, there's no need for me to try and make sense of her now.

"Is that what you want?" she asks me, unexpectedly, her emotions suddenly mute and veiled from my reach, leaving me with a feel of uncertainty.

How did she do that?

"No," I whisper. Since when did I whisper as if I were ashamed? Much less, put to shame by a woman? Internally, I smirk because there's no better woman out there to put me to shame than Isabella Swan, no equal.

"Are you a coward?" she challenges and my entire body trembles with the restrain of staying rooted to my spot. Like I said, there is no foolish equal. "I said," she enunciates, "are you, Jasper Whitlock," -she pauses thoughtfully- "Hale, whatever, a coward?" I move.

"Careful, human," I spat, my hands wrapping delicately around her neck and relishing the nearness.

"Is that a yes?" she mocks.

"Careful," I hiss, "I can very easily crush your throat." To make my point, I squeeze around her throat just the right amount to show her that I mean business.

"Do your worse." She shrugs, uncaring, and I almost fail to mask my surprise. My eyes search hers, glaring and amazed that even now, she's still not afraid of me. "You see," she says quietly, "I've told you, so many times… you can never hurt me, not consciously."

You and I suffer from the same ailment, I think bitterly. Stupid little girl, always too trusting and daring, I mentally add, feeling annoyed. With an annoyed growl, I let go of her throat, slightly baffled and proud of my control, and gently push her away, and begin pacing in place, feeling her eyes on me.

"What do you want from me?" I bleat, wanting to know.

Stopping my pacing, I force myself to look into her eyes, fearing and dreading what I might find in them, always. She has too much control over me, I marvel as the look in Bella's eyes steals my scarce breath away. She's too coy…

Indeed…

"Stay," she states, no preamble and no spearing a thought to the effects her words might have on my mind, body, heart, and soul. A shuddering breath escapes between my lips as I chuckle darkly, low enough for Bella not to hear.

"Give me a reason," I tell her, surprising even myself in the process, "other than my promise, that is." This is dangerous, I can't help but think and I find that I don't really care. I'm supposed to be fighting for her, damn it!

You are… this is just, a very different approach…

"What do you mean?" Bella questions and frowns slowly as she tries to read my expression. "What other reason can I possibly give you?"

She really doesn't know, I observe. Seeing the pain inundating her eyes at the ridiculous thought that there's nothing else that she can do to keep me at her side, I know that my suspicions are correct.

"Kiss me," I whisper before I can rectify my brain, to heart, to mouth crossed wires. Along with Bella's shock of surprise, I gasp but I can't take the words back, even if I want to and I recklessly don't. In fact, my feet have a mind of their own as they take me to her, ignoring my mind's cries of doing the complete opposite. I take her face in my hands and caress the skin under my fingertips with reverence. wide-eyed "Kiss me, Isabella," I repeat, "and I'll stay."

…

…

A/N: So… end of chapter 30! Hopefully that was okay… Leave a review if you want a preview of next chapter! Thank you all for reading!