Thanks guys for the feedback! Glad you loved the flashback. In answer to the questions and comments - I probably won't be doing any more as there are only 3 or 4 chapters left but I will probably be doing some young-Kasey scenes in some mini-stories in Fosters, Nerds and Dummies so be sure to give that a follow if you want more of that. If I decide to do a sequel I will maybe try and incorporate them into that too now I know people like them.

OK - here is a heart to heart into fluff chapter. I really needed to write some fluffier stuff, for one I figured even the characters would be getting tired of angst! This chapter actually was slightly inspired by the brilliant Fosters recaps done by Lucy Hallowell. It was Hostile Acts if I remember correctly. She gave inspiring insight into the conversation Stef had with Brandon and it sorta made me think of something like this that may have been Stef's experience. It made me think of how Stef may have been a lot more vulnerable when she was closeted (even if she didn't know it yet) and how it may have affected other parts of her life due to the knock it could have on her confidence. Obviously I have no clue whether her character would have done college or not but I figured I'd take some artistic license. Hope it works and let me know what you think as always.

Stef sighed and gave Kasey a menacing smile.

"Look - you're still in a lot of trouble...but..." she cleared her throat. "I think I owe you an apology."

Kasey raised her eyebrows waiting for her to elaborate.

"I know you were mad at me for not telling you about all this last night - and I know that if I had have been honest with you, you probably would have done things differently."

"Are you saying this is you fault? If so I'll take it..." Kasey asked hopefully as Stef slapped her leg.

"No - absolutely not. For one, you were eavesdropping...and you know how I feel about that. It causes people to not get the full story and do stupid things." she emphasised flicking Kasey's forehead. "All I'm saying is that both of us have been hiding things from each other recently and that's not the way it should be."

Kasey smiled. "You're right...you have been." she folded her arms and Stef laughed at the memory again.

"But I'm not the only one who's been holding something back." she poked her sternly. "Hint hint." Kasey looked back confused.

"What have I been lying about?" she asked, genuinely shocked.

Stef took a deep breath. "I'm not sure you even know so it's time we actually start communicating. Why have you been so indifferent about these SATs?"

Kasey stuttered, the confidence trickling away from her voice. "Mom, I only missed them because of Brandon...it's not like I wanted to get out of them so checked the listings for a local drug dealer to chase and get a raincheck."

"I know that - but I also know that you care more about the result than you've been letting on...if I wasn't trying to be honest with you I'd say it was my intuition but I'll be truthful and say it was Evan and Callie's - theirs and apparently that of everyone else who has spoken to you in the last 6 months...other than the person who gave birth to you."

"I don't know what you mean..." this time it was Kasey looking down at her fingers, mirroring Stef's own tell tale signs exactly.

"Well good - if you don't know either it's not just me then." Stef folded her arms looking at her as a clear sign she wanted her to think harder. Kasey looked back and forth at her before finally yielding.

"What do you want me to say? I am scared of failing to do as well as you have convinced yourself I can do so I'd rather just not put any effort in?"

"So you'd rather just rebel and say that you didn't give it your all as an excuse than bother trying?" Stef asked, still slightly confused.

"I'm not rebelling...I just...I would rather you keep your illusion..." she sighed. "So that you don't realise."

"Realise what?" Stef asked even more confused.

Kasey shrugged. "That the reason I'm not good enough for you is because I'm lazy and cynical rather than...well - just not good enough."

"Oh sweetheart." Stef deflated. "You could never not be good enough for me - not in a million years." She sighed, a whole different kind of guilt sweeping through her. Callie had hinted that this may be the case but it was another thing entirely to have it confirmed so bluntly by Kasey herself. She had never imagined she could have projected that onto her kids - they had never disappointed her with who they were - their actions occasionally maybe, but making them ever feel insufficient had always been her worst nightmare. She had never wanted to put them through what she had been through with her Dad. She took a deep breath.

"Kasey, if anything this has come from me having not being good enough - not you..."

The look of confusion transferred to Kasey as Stef grabbed her hand.

"When I was in high school...I was lost. I knew deep down that I was different - and I probably knew even deeper down why that was...but the truth is I was terrified of it. I was scared of what would happen if I ever actually came close to confirming it. The fear of having to face that - of having to face something which I knew I couldn't change - that I couldn't do anything about..."

"But..."

"What does that have to do with school?" Kasey's heart broke a little as she noticed Stef's eyes becoming watery. She tried to disguise it with a smile.

"I was scared to face the unknown, Kasey. I was scared what new experiences would bring me - so I spent the years I should have been pushing for the best hiding. Settling in the hopes no-one would notice my insecurities." she took a deep breath and lost her focus as if she was looking into the past again.

"Even the thought of college freaked me out. What I would find there - what it would be like if I went and people could read me like a book...all of the things I couldn't yet understand. I had no clue what or who I wanted to be. I didn't even know who I was and for some reason the idea of reaching for anything other than my subdued life was just something I couldn't face. I'm not saying I didn't go to college because I thought I was gay - I'm not sure I'd even made that full connection yet. The point was I was resigned to just wait reluctantly for life to just show up at my door because I was scared to explore it. Scared of failure, scared that if I reached out the whole world would know my secret - that I wasn't invincible and as self-assured as I pretended to be...and I can't pretend I don't have regrets."

"But you're one of the most confident people I know..."

"I am now maybe...but even so, sometimes the most confident people are the people who are trying to hide their fear. I spent a life running away from facing reality - and that forced me to make a lot of bad decisions."

"You mean like marrying Dad?" Kasey asked bluntly as Stef's stomach lurched. She could no longer hold back a couple of escaped tears but blinked them away gracefully. "If I hadn't have married your father I wouldn't have you...I could never regret that."

Kasey gripped her tighter to try and console her. She hated seeing her Mom cry. It was like a switch turning on her own emotions, every time - few as they had been. Nothing broke her heart more than seeing her rock, the one pillar she had had her entire life, buckle. She had her own memories of the divorce. The time before Stef found Lena, when she would quickly try and hide her tears when she would notice Kasey had been trying not to disturb her outside her door. She had always tried to push those memories aside - they were harder than the memories of her own sadness at the time. It had all worked out for them and Kasey's fears were unfounded - but she had always known that the divorce would be a trauma Stef would never entirely recover from - no matter how glad she was she had made the decision. Kasey knew she would never forgive herself entirely for inflicting the pain on the family even if there was nothing to forgive. She tried to lighten the mood in the hopes to make it stop.

"Well technically you wouldn't have us if you hadn't slept with Dad...I may not be Stanford material but I can work out 9 months on a calendar..."

Stef laughed through the tears as Kasey smiled at her.

"OK, OK. But that's not my point either. I don't want you to ever think that I'd have wanted things any other way as far as you're concerned." Stef was also still drawing in her memories and the reminder of their conversation had haunted Stef in a new way suddenly. She hadn't realised how the divorce had really been the first time she had taken control of her life and faced the fears she was addressing. That day at the station was the first time after finally getting together with Lena that she nearly buckled, seeing the effect it was having on her children. She had nearly run back then but Lena had given her the sense of identity and security she had been missing to make the push.

"Mom - I know that. I'm not that little girl anymore. I just didn't understand things back then...besides, even I could tell you'd never been happier - and look how things turned out? It could never have ended well and not knowing that wasn't your fault. Considering what we were working with I think we've done pretty damn well."

Stef studied her face and glowed with warmth. She couldn't help but smile at the irony of Kasey exhibiting such insight in a conversation that stemmed from her saying she wasn't Stanford matetial. "You know you don't give yourself enough credit for how smart you were back then...and are now. Trust me - I'm the one who had to figure that out the hard way." She slapped her leg lightly.

"But listen -" she paused with a sniff. " I am sorry if I put too much pressure on you emotionally - I just... it's scary seeing you grow up into the world by yourself...and sometimes I see so much of myself in you I just wanna make sure you don't make the same mistakes I did. I want you to have options - and not when you're up against the wall. Even if you decide not to take them - but let it be your decision...and most importantly don't let the only thing that prevents you from having choices be yourself. There'll be many things in your life you can't control - good and bad...but you should always strive to have the ability to choose what makes you happy. Even if you risk a bigger disappointment if it goes wrong."

"I know." Kasey smiled. "And for what its worth..." she hesitated. "I'm going to reschedule the SATs."

Stef looked at her surprised.

"Not because of this...I mean, inspiring as your blubbering is Mom...I'd already decided it. And I want to do well in them. I'm not going to an Ivy League...but I do want to do as well as I can while I have the chance to, even if it means fighting with a textbook for the foreseeable future." she sighed.

"When did you decide that?" Stef asked wiping away the stains from her own tears this time.

"I dunno - probably when Carl had his hand around my throat."

Stef shuddered at the thought and wished she had cracked Carl's head against the wall.

"I mean...I couldn't move. I was trapped...and I thought about Michelle and how trapped she was permanently. I just...I figure it's like what you said about choice...so many people don't have it but I do - I guess I owe it to them to keep it in my hands rather than other people's. I know I can do better and it's my responsibility to honour that." she conceded as a laugh escaped Stef's fragile state and she pulled her close into a hug.

"How could you ever think you weren't good enough for me?" she asked looking to the ceiling before closing her eyes and squeezing Kasey even tighter.

"You have no idea how terrified I was to think I could have lost you this morning. Or how pissed I was, you horrible children. And trust me - if I was allowed to say harsher words I would..."

"I'm sorry..." Kasey sighed. "but I have a feeling that won't be the last time I apologise...though you know you can't pretend you've never scared me." Kasey pointed out.

"Touché - " Stef nodded in defeat. "And that's why I know your side of things. I know what impulses you were fighting. But just because I made a stupid decision once doesn't mean it makes up for yours. In fact if anything, you are old enough to be able to learn from that mistake of mine. You should have anticipated the danger you were walking into.. "

"Wow, that backfired on me..." Kasey admitted feeling ashamed by the smooth turnaround her Mom had just worked on her.

"Yes it did -" she laughed. "And on that note..." Stef got up off the bed. "Lena's gonna think I lost it and am trying to hide the body."

Kasey's face dropped. "But we just did all the reflection and crap - isn't that me done?"

"You think a little heart to heart makes up for hanging up on me when you're AWOL?" Stef folded her arms.

"You are not letting that go are you?" Kasey slumped down flat on her bed.

"Come on little miss." Stef hauled her arm forward as she lay deadweight and moaning. "You know you may be bigger than when you were five but I can still pick you up..." Stef threatened playfully, the memory resurfacing again.

"OK, OK..." Kasey rolled herself off the bed and passed under Stef's watchful eye who couldn't help but smile at the dejected figure - or how proud she was, even at the worst times.

They trotted down the stairs and found Lena reading on the sofa. The conversation they had had worked to pull her out of her collapse and although she was grumbling she was quietly relieved she seemed to be past the worse. Her Moms punishments were daunting but at least they were familiar territory.

"There you two are...what took so long?" she asked putting her kindle down.

"We were just having a chat about the SATs..." Stef winked at Lena who threw her an impressed acknowledgement.

"Plus Mom took a trip to the early 00s." Kasey added slumping down onto the chair. "Takes her a while to think that far back." she teased, showing proof of her improved mood as Stef raised an eyebrow. "That's pretty cocky for someone we're about to dole out a punishment to." That response was proof of Stef's. Despite the residual anger she was also feeling a lot more relieved at the lighter direction this was going. She had had a very stressful day and the unexpected outpouring of emotions had relieved some of the tension but also left her yearning for more relief. She didn't have the strength to go back to anger. Lena looked across at Stef clocking her softened attitude. Whatever had just happened she could tell it had been worthwhile.

"Can we just get this over with." Kasey folded her arms diverting her attention back.

"OK...well, I don't think we need to tell you again how reckless and stupid your decisions were this morning." Lena said recapturing her stern tone.

"But we will anyway. It was damn reckless and stupid." Stef added, also putting on a more aggressive tone, faked as it was.

"Now we know that you mainly had the best intentions and were well aware of the danger - and as concerned as we are about what you did we appreciate that you were trying to do what you thought was best for Brandon before things got out of control."

"But..." Kasey added with a nod.

"But...you did lie to us - last night as well as today when you hung up on me...and a smartass 5 year old once told me that lying needs to be punished. So, you're grounded for an as-of-yet unspecified amount of time based on what your Dad says, but I reckon you're looking at about 3 to 4 weeks." Stef emphasised in response to her slightly audacious impatience. Kasey couldn't help but give a defeated smile at her own misfortune. "A month? Like full grounding? Even though this was Brandon's fault?"

"I'll remind you you also deleted your tracking app so you could hide from us which is there to try and keep you safe."

"I thought it was there to stop Jesus from losing his phone... I'm not saying I don't deserve to be punished but it's not like that app was compulsory..."

"OK - we hear that." Lena responded.

"But it will be now." Stef added with a smile. "We know you deleted it so you could sneak off to a concert. That level of pre-meditation doesn't go ignored."

"God Evan has a big mouth..." Kasey complained.

"Yes, he does - and I mean it, I will be checking you keep it on your phone at least for the length of your punishment. I promise I'll not use it to spy on you - but I dare you to take it off. I'll have you microchipped!" Kasey nodded with a sigh before throwing them a confused look.

"Hang on - does that mean I get to keep my phone?" she asked hopefully as her Moms looked at each other.

"Yes. For communication purposes." Lena replied. "Given the circumstances we don't see any problem with that - but if you look like you're having too much fun we'll be confiscating it. That and stopping anything else you seem to be having too much fun doing."

"Fair enough." she conceded with a smile. "But wait...did Brandon get to keep his?" she asked, her grin growing bigger.

"No, he's in a bit more trouble...in fact expect a written apology from him."

"Brandon's in more trouble than me?" she beamed excitedly. "For real?"

"Is she enjoying this too much?" Stef asked Lena who nodded as Kasey tried to drop her grin.

"I thought you were going to stop things I was enjoying..." She risked as both her parents raised their eyebrows.

"Careful - the best way to stop your enjoyment of this would be to just level the playing field. Just keep that smug look on your face..." Lena threatened as Kasey tried harder to suppress her delight.

"I'm sorry - I just. I'm not sure this has ever happened in this way..."

"Well we're not done yet so try and act more downtrodden there, Jackie Chan." Stef threw her another glare as Kasey cleared her throat and sat on her hands.

"We also really want to get across to you that although we're proud that you held your own and were smart and sharp with your self defense - we don't want it to go to your head."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures and we can't ignore the fact that you helped catch the bad guys, as well as protect yourself and Brandon -"

"But we want you to really understand how risky that was. I mean he was armed, Kasey - and you were lucky - extremely lucky. Not to mention how dangerous it can be to make enemies of dangerous people. They don't get locked up forever and provoking him like that could have had fatal consequences."

"So take it from someone who understands the consequences of going in half cocked - it is not a gamble you should ever take."

Kasey nodded.

"So now you have time to think - which we know you didn't have the luxury of having in the situation - we want you to really think about how things could have been done differently."

"And we want you to write a paper on it...a couple thousand words."

Kasey screwed up her face. "A paper? How does that work?"

"We don't know - it's your paper. We just want you to think about all the things that you did and ways they could have been different."

"You mean like if you'd listened to me about Michelle 2 months ago none of this would have happened?"

Stef looked across at Lena. "That sounded like an "I told you so..."

"Sure did."

"Looks like someone's paper just doubled in length." Stef smiled

"OK - I get it." she sighed. "I'll lose the cockiness. Now is that everything?"

"Kasey - stop trying to rush past this. We need you to understand that you can't just brush this under the rug."

Neither Stef or Lena had seen her in the vulnerable state that Callie had but Kasey wasn't keen to revisit it.

"Moms - I know. Trust me, I've had my breakdown - just ask Callie. I'm not bottling up. Today is gonna haunt me for a long time. I've never been so scared." her voice cracked slightly as Stef reached forward and put her hand on her knee.

"I know what it is like. The adrenaline is pumping and you're on a one track road. Suddenly all logic goes out the window. That's why it's important for you to understand how to safeguard yourself against the situation when you do have time to think. I learned the hard way, but no matter how scared I was today I made sure I had my vest first. It's taken a hell of an experience to train my impulses like that - you need to learn that from your close call today. You don't get to make mistakes like that twice. You don't get lucky twice."

"I get that - " Kasey replied quietly.

"Well maybe you can write about that a little too. Let's face it you've been on two sides of something like this." Lena added.

Kasey nodded again. "It has to be a paper though? Like a full report? I'm not even sure I remember half the stuff I did - "

"If you are doing a report you have a computer for research remember...while you're writing the paper that is...and we'll give you a week to do it. After that you and Brandon are sharing the doghouse one."

"Done!" she replied without a second thought. "So I have my phone and laptop...and Brandon's writing me an apology on the dinosaur?"

Stef raised an eyebrow and looked at Lena. "Please can I add it...she's still way to smug for someone who had me chasing her all round town this morning..." Lena gave Stef a nod as Kasey looked at her nervously.

"I also want you to write that you'll 'never hang up on Mom ever again on pain of being beaten to death with a cell phone' 200 times. Actually, 257 - just because I can."

Kasey gawped with confusion. "Is that like a binding contract?"

"Well it may not stand in a normal court of law but then again, I am the law..." she retorted smugly, her voice becoming gravelly.

Kasey shook her head. "Hanging up. Big mistake. Got it."

"OK - now we're done. But don't you ever scare us like that again." Lena finished as Kasey sighed.

"I won't - but are you gonna try and hide stuff from me again?" she asked, folding her arms as Stef looked guiltily at Lena knowing her accountability.

"If I do will you stop talking to me again?" Stef replied with a smirk "I may get some peace and quiet now you actually understand what the "silent" in silent treatment means." both Kasey and Lena looked at each other slightly confused - neither privy to the details of Stef's memory. She got up and walked over to Kasey cupping her hands around her head and ruffling her hair. "I promise I will never ever again ever not tell you when your boyfriend has been framed by a drug dealer to try and stop you from being distracted from a test that defines your future." she smothered a struggling Kasey with a hug over her head following by a flurry of kisses crushing her down into her seat as Kasey tried to wriggle out and bat her away.

"OK? Satisfied?"

"Yes! Yes - get off me." Stef eventually let her go slapping her a couple of times on her leg as she did. Both were getting too tired for more seriousness and had already resolved their issues. She slapped her one more time as Kasey tried to fix her now thoroughly disjointed appearance.

"Right. One more delinquent on the list to go. I'll take this one Lena. Evan and I are going on a field trip."

"Fine by me - I'm exhausted." Lena added falling back into the sofa.

"Evan?" Kasey snapped to attention. "I uhm...I thought you'd finished with him." she stuttered nervously trying to hide how curious she was.

"Don't worry - you'll get him back in one piece. Now go make your Mom another coffee." she ordered dragging her up.

"Just...because..."

"because you haven't sorted things yet...do you want to talk to him first?" Stef asked bluntly as Kasey shuffled her hands into her pockets.

"Well...no...you go first..."

Stef pushed her daughter's now messy mop of hair off her forehead. "You are gonna have to face each other at some point though."

Kasey nodded. "When you get back..." Stef paused for a moment caressing her daughter's cheek softly. She wished they could communicate better as a couple but she knew it would take time. She quickly snapped back to reality, realising it would help if things moved along.

"Well - I'm gonna go clip some wings. Evan!" she yelled in the basement's general direction. "Lena, make sure these guys have no fun this afternoon."

"They won't." she smiled glaring at a sheepish Kasey as Evan emerged.

"What's up?" he asked momentarily glancing nervously at Kasey.

Stef slapped him on the chest. "Get in the car - we're going for a drive."

"Wait - you were serious about...I mean you're not taking you handcuffs are you...?"

"Not, but I've got a tow-rope in the trunk. Don't make me use it." She slapped his chest again and strode towards the door.

He followed, hovering slightly to give Kasey a subdued salute with a smile. She smiled back. Maybe they would get past this sooner rather than later.

Chapter 61 Preview: Stef takes Evan on a journey into her past as a cop.

"So a few years ago a guy was beaten within an inch of his life right here where you're standing."

"Did he hang up on you?" Evan asked with a blank expression as Stef slapped his arm.

"Focus!" she commanded.

"OK - let me guess. He got on the wrong side of a drug dealer."

"Wrong. He was a rapist." she corrected.