Very first, I have to apologize. It's been nearly a year since my last update and no, I don't have a long series of excuses beyond life. I gotta live it and this just isn't as important. I really love this story but I'm not sure how much I want to sit down at write it out. OK? I PLAN to finish… but plans aren't everything.

I want to write! …I've also realized that I'm not earning my M rating very well… even though I want to… but I guess it's just not the right section… *continues thinking for a long time* …sorry, drifted off for a moment there. Dude, I thought more angry reviews would come than I got but really, I had Haru Bakura PUNCH Molly Weasley. You think I'd get a few more angry comments. And a few more axes…

P.S. I noticed that I've started the last two chapters with the word (uh, name…) Hermione so this time it starts differently! It starts about Hermione! (Well honestly I don't know yet since I haven't started writing. Huh, that does not instill confidence in my story, does it?)

Settling into the room he'd had target practice in Ryou again put the chair against the door and sat down cross-legged in the center of the room. "How do I do this?" Ryou asked aloud secure in his solitude. /You're going to go to the shadows instead of calling them to you. / screwing up his eyebrows slightly Ryou waited for his yami to continue. / Normally, you'd call the shadows to protect you or fight for your or whatever but to do this you need to go to the shadows. It takes a lot of your concentration and very little to bring you out of it so stay focused. /

The hikari dutifully nodded and closed his eyes. He stretched his magic out to the shadows and felt them reach out to fulfill his commands but he pushed the feeling out of his mind; this wasn't the time to use his power over them, but with them. Leaving the feeling of his body, Ryou thought of it as making his own shadow body which he had practiced a couple of times. Working actively with the shadows and not having a pulse or a need to breathe; something that Ryou found very disconcerting the first time he had made a false body.

Joining with the shadows, the young shadow user reminded himself not to make the shadows take his form; but to take the form of the shadows. Submerging himself all the way into them Ryou focused on the room he was in and saw his body with his head slumping forward. He could still smell the dusty air but that was as close as it got to the same. The course floor boards were more prominent since as a shadow he was attached to them instead of against them. Currently he was attached to the corner of the room so deciding to practice moving around Ryou willed himself over the chair. He felt like he was half being dragged and half slithering until he was under it. He noted that he looked like he had fallen asleep while meditating absently but it still caused him to lose his concentration.

At the sudden feel of having a pulse again Ryou looked around the room startled, his heart beating rapidly until he figured out exactly what had happened. /Good Ryou but you need to forget about your body. That's the easiest way to be brought back to it. / Mentally smiling at how Bakura sounded like a teacher again Ryou sent a feeling of agreement through the link and closed his eyes to try again. It was easier to get into the shadows this time but he still had to remind himself to become a part of them instead of the other way around.

Ignoring his body Ryou reached towards the edge or the shadows and felt a bit of a sting as the area gained light. /The higher the contrast between shadows and otherwise the more it'll be like a barrier. The room is so dim so it's not all that noticeable. / Accepting Bakura's proffered advice gratefully he sent a slight prompting of what to do next and the spirit obliged. /Go through the wall. Since this is your first time you're going to move slowly and not jump shadows yet. /

A bit startled by the thought of going through the wall Ryou quickly reminded himself that he was shadow right now and shadow didn't have a form. Any where the light dared not shine was his territory, his element. Willing himself to move again Ryou felt that same slithering/dragging movement as before and then he was in the wall. Inside the wall Ryou felt more solid. The bars for running water were nonexistent to him and he filled up every crevice. Reaching forward Ryou eventually felt the sense of movement he was slowly coming to be familiar with until a new thought worked its way into his mind: What was holding him up? In the room he was against the walls and floor but her he was just submerged in shadow; hanging in the air. Stuffing down the sudden panic that threatened to force him back into his body Ryou mentally took some deep breaths. He was part of the shadows here, shadows didn't obey gravity so neither did he as of the moment.

Ignoring the new realization that shadows didn't follow gravity Ryou focused on moving down to the second floor. Upon reaching the level he wanted (or at least where the shadows stopped pulling to help him move) he realized he didn't quite know where his cousin and her friends were. /Kura… / he asked lightly still trying to adjust to no gravity. /Reach out with your senses, hearing's probably going to be easiest, and try to identify your cousin or one of the other mortals. / Ignoring the last part Ryou tried to do as his yami instructed, He stopped focusing on sight and touch (the senses he was using most at the moment) and stretched his hearing for his cousin's voice. Finding it, he willed his way into the room they were in and ended up submerged on the side of what appeared to be a bookcase.

~Library~

Sorting through thoughts of what was most suspicious versus what would be easiest to address Harry dumped everything onto the middle of the table only putting it in some semblance of order afterwards. "About time, mate! I found this five minutes ago and have been waiting for you to get back so I can write it down already!" Ron practically shouted while ignoring the disapproving look from Hermione. "Honestly Ron," Ginny said from around Harry's elbow making him notice that she'd taken his seat. "you've just been holding that page open and whining."

"It's a heavy book!" Ron complained as he pulled a sheet of parchment over to him. He used his elbow to keep his place as he pulled the stopper out of an ink well and quickly wrote down in a messy scrawl, used magic for executions. "There." He said sounding proud and dropped the book shut. Ginny promptly rolled her eyes and pulled the parchment towards herself writing down According to the Egyptian theory, the dementor's kiss takes the soul to the 'realm of darkness' in a more elegant scrawl causing Ron to frown. Turning to Harry as Ginny wrote down some things from the first two paragraphs they read he asked, "What took you so long?" with all the bluntness he could muster.

"I ran into Ryou." Harry answered absently still trying to decide what to ask first and now wondering why Fred and George hadn't already told them he was talking to Ryou. "Was he ok?" Hermione asked warily as she approached. Harry frowned as he thought about it. Ryou really hadn't seemed ok but did he want to tell Hermione that? "His ankle was pretty bad. I helped him wrap it up." Harry finally allotted not mentioning the inner turmoil he'd seen right before he'd left.

Hermione frowned deeply at this but Harry decided to broach another related subject. "Hermione, was Ryou supposed to leave tomorrow?" he asked and Hermione just looked at him questioningly. "No, he was supposed to stay through new years. I believe he was going to leave on the third." This answer caused Harry to frown. "His bag was all packed." He explained starting to tell what he'd seen. "When he opened it up to get a bandage, everything was packed like he was ready to leave."

Hermione frowned at this. He wasn't supposed to be leaving for more than a week so why was he ready to go? The thought crossed her mind of him knowing about the attack but of course he couldn't! Then again when the first explosion had gone off he hadn't seemed worried except that Hermione was running back towards the fight. But Ryou couldn't know! She remembered how surprised Ryou looked when she told him they were leaving and how scared he'd been when he saw Lupin was hurt. There was no way he had been prepared for the attack but had he known it was coming? But then how would he know! He definitely wasn't in contact with his father and the Order didn't know until after the attack started so if Ryou knew the only way he could've know before was if he was psychic or he was in contact with You-Know-Who's army. And the most likely person from there was the mysterious new ally who looked like Ryou. "That doesn't make sense." Hermione finally said a firm tone of disbelief lacing her voice.

Harry simply nodded his head and continued. "He also had a lot of medical supplies, like he expected to get hurt." Everyone thought hard at this one. Why would he expect to get hurt? Who would hurt him? The image of his father appeared to everyone but he wasn't planning to run into his father. Running into more and more questions the more they learned about him the more interested they became. What was going on with Ryou Bakura?

Hermione eventually shook his head at the thought. "I don't know why he would expect to get hurt… we were just at my house the whole time. There were no trips planned or anything." she added before she was asked. Ron closed his mouth and frowned. Seeing as this subject was also going nowhere Harry brought up another suspicious thing; probably the biggest yet. "Hermione…" he started not sure how to bring this up and eventually just blurting it out in Ron fashion. "His bag has hidden compartments."

"Hidden compartments?" Hermione and the Weasleys voiced as one. Hermione in disbelief, Fred and George with interest and most likely mischief on their minds – or do they just share one? – and Ginny and Ron in surprise. "Wicked." Ron voiced as it must've finally hit him what was said.

"Why on Earth would he have hidden compartments?" Hermione left the spot where she'd been standing by the bookcase. "Well, maybe not compartments, but the medical supplies were hidden and if I hadn't seen him pull them out I never would've guessed he had any." Hermione placed on hand on her chin and the other hand supporting her elbow in a classic thinking pose. 'One hidden compartment for sure, which most likely leads to more. But why have any in the first place? What would he have hidden in them? What about the medical supplies? Why hide those? Why have those? Could he have anything dangerous in his bag? No, Ryou wasn't a dangerous person. But what if they weren't for him?' the witch's mind circled back to why Ryou was packed up and this strange new ally. The evidence was saying there was a connection but she couldn't believe that. There had to be an alternate explanation.

"Hidden compartments, you say? Why, Fred. I've thought of this simply glorious idea."

"What is it George oh, brother of mine?"

"Wouldn't that be the perfect way to sneak certain objects around mother dearest?"

"Why George, I think that's an excellent idea."

They goofily shook hands like it was some sort of business deal while Hermione heaved a sigh and moved towards the table. "What'cha doing Hermione?" Ron intoned as she pulled a scrap of parchment towards herself. "I'm writing a list of things that are suspicious about Ryou." Harry nodded his head in understanding; there were just too many things to ignore. The list read:

Ryou

Already packed

Prepared for injury

Secret compartments

Are there more?

Looks like You-Know-Who's new ally

Not surprised when attack started

Only worried when I ran towards attack

Mrs. Black was scared of him

Hermione finished her list before sighing again. Ryou was already having such a tough time but they still had to suspect him. It went against every fiber of her being to ignore something that could be looked into. When Harry stepped forward and grabbed the quill form her she furrowed her eyebrows while stepping to the side. She'd gotten everything, hadn't she?

Both Mr. Bakura and Mrs. Black called him a demon and a murderer

Mrs. Black talked about 'soul stealing'

Incidents

The three points were short but also the most important. Those were the real things they had to find out. The reasons they couldn't trust him. Why they were doing this research. After a few moments of staring at the page Hermione barely resisted stamping her foot. "I can't stand this. Ryou's hurt, my uncle is horrible, and we have to suspect him of… well, being evil! I haven't even seen him in five years and we never had a good time to really catch up. He hasn't even visited his mother and sister's graves yet! This is just…" she couldn't seem to find the words so Harry put an arm over her shoulder as she slumped in dismay. "It'll be ok." Harry eventually said a bit awkwardly not used to comforting anyone.

Hermione took it in stride and nodded her head once before wiping away a tear before it could fall. "I'm sure we can find out something. I'm sure there has to be… something." Hermione tried to convince herself before moving back to the shelves and pulling out books at a slower pace than before. Harry walked over behind her unsure of what to say. "Hey, umm…"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that." Hermione startled him.

"What? No, it's fine. It's a lot." He tried to placate her as she pulled out A Smarter Guide to Older Times: The Ancient Uses No One Else Tells. Deciding to bite the metaphorical bullet Harry started searching the shelves with his eyes not really taking anything in. "When Ryou was wrapping his ankle… he seemed very… experienced. With wrapping it. So I asked him, and… umm…" Harry knew he sounded stupid even to himself so he decided to just wrap it up as his eyes roved over a section on myths. "You know how my cousin likes to beat me up? Well, it seems people like to do that to Ryou, too. I'm sorry." He put his hand on her shoulder as she tensed up a bit. "He's had it pretty bad and for a pretty long time it seems."

Seeing that Hermione wasn't about to respond Harry looked back to the shelf he'd been looking at and grabbed a random title: Legends in the Dark. Putting it on what he assumed was Hermione's stack he turned back towards the table where Ron was scribbling yet again on the list for Egypt. "Just, sorry." Harry didn't look back as he went back to the table and grabbed a random book, The Untold Pages of History, and flipped straight to the index.

~Ryou~

"I'm writing a list of things that are suspicious about Ryou." The Hikari heard his cousin intone and that was almost enough to knock him back into his body but with a bit of will from Bakura he stayed put. Ryou watched as Hermione bent over a table and wrote down a few things before Harry pushed her aside to add more. Ryou pushed aside all the rising panic and thoughts of what could be written there in favor of finding more. He'd panic in a minute.

He watched his cousin's obvious frustration in her movements before she had as big of an outburst as she ever did. "I can't stand this. Ryou's hurt, my uncle is horrible, and we have to suspect him of… well, being evil! I haven't even seen him in five years and we never had a good time to really catch up. He hasn't even visited his mother and sister's graves yet! This is just…" if she ever added more, Ryou missed it. He was thrown back into his body at the mention of their graves.

He stared at the door with in shaken grief. He had gone to visit their graves. In the night with Bakura shortly after he first arrived in England. They were gone.

The graveyard they had been buried at needed a fee paid to take care of the graves and apparently, two years ago, his father had stopped paying the fees. The choices at that point were to have them dug up and cremated, or to care for the graves yourself. He had had them cremated and Ryou had to pick up the ashes on his own from the 'unclaimed' shelf in the back. He and Bakura had taken them to Egypt where, along with Malik and his family, he'd said a quiet, last, private good-bye.

Ryou felt a tug to his soul room from his dark, his strength, and obeyed. In Egyptian culture disturbing ones burial was an offence worthy of death. His father worked in Egypt, he knew this! But he still hadn't cared enough for that. Ryou felt Bakura's arms wrap tightly around him.

Yes, things were ok. Ryou had his strength. Ryou had said good-bye. But this desecration still burned in his heart. It was yet another way in which Ryou understood Bakura's hatred even though Ryou couldn't hate. He'd already forgiven his father for that even if it still hurt. 'It was just too far away for him to visit on a regular basis so there was no one reason to pay for the up keep. And he was probably just too busy to pick up the ashes.'

Bakura tightened his hold on Ryou and growled under his breath. 'How dare he continue to blame Ryou for their deaths when he didn't even respect them enough to have someone else care for their graves.' Ryou felt the growl more than he could hear it but he went immediately to placate his yami. "Oh don't be mad. We did the best we could to say good-bye."

Bakura tugged Ryou closer and buried his head in his hikari's soft locks. Their burial should've been honored in the first place and now Ryou didn't even have a place to say good-bye. The house they used to live in was sold, the spot of the crash was no place to give them peace, and now there was no resting place to dignify their passing. What a disgraceful act and Ryou wouldn't hold it against his father. Bakura tightened his hold. 'Just like he won't hold anything against his father.'

Feeling the tenseness of his other half Ryou leaned back before kissing him. "It's ok Bakura. I can go visit that spot again." Bakura just frowned at this forgiveness. But this matter had been dealt with no matter how high the insult to the deceased. Now, the matter of those suspicions…

"I should go back down and get a look at the list." Ryou voiced the most obvious plan of action and Bakura mentally agreed. Getting a look at the list would give them knowledge they needed to be ahead. What angles Ryou should play up to avert suspicion. What would be easiest to explain away. Anything he just needed to avoid.

In silent agreement Ryou left back to his body and went through the much easier, but still arduous, process of descending the stairs. Remembering his cover Ryou quickly retrieved his shoe from the shadow realm and proceeded to leave both next to his suitcase finding it much easier to move on flat ground without being unsteady due to the added height from his sneaker.

Ryou was about to enter the Library when he heard a call from halfway down the stairs. "Oh, Ryou dear, would you go get the other kids? Dinner's on the table." The red-headed woman smiled jovially at him so he just nodded a bit dumbly in surprise. "S-sure. I'll get them right now."

"Thank you, deary." She smiled again and Ryou nodded once before continuing his way to the library, his mind stuck on the kind woman. Why was there a bruise covering her left cheek? Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Ryou entered the library only to have everything stop and tense. /Caught in the act. / Bakura smirked.

/Shush. / Ryou huffed while blushing from the focus of attention on himself. "Ano… I was just coming to tell you that dinner is ready." He stared at his feet. 'Stupid! I didn't even ask about the list.' He mentally berated himself but silenced his thoughts at a growl from Bakura.

"Food!" Ron nearly moaned before slamming the book in front of him shut. Ignoring the disapproving look from Hermione he grabbed Harry's arm and rushed out the door. Ryou nearly smiled as he was reminded of how Jounochi reacted to food but refrained as he had to move to the side of the doorway to avoid being trampled. He saw Hermione scoff and gently put the book she had been holding onto the table before moving a piece of parchment underneath it.

The list. Neither hikari nor yami thought it out loud -

I'm sorry everyone. I've been working on this chapter near fruitlessly for about a year now and I just can't do it. This story has strayed too far from what it was supposed to be and I just can't keep going like this. I'm winging it, and it's just not sitting well with me at all. I started with a full plan and events that made sense. I feel like everything I wrote here is just Plot Convenience! instead of the subtle story I originally had mapped out. I have already gone back and fixed the first chapter up to my satisfaction but it could take quite a while before I'm ready to start posting the story as it should be.

On a related note:

1. Should I take this copy down?

I am going to save these files on my computer because I did put so much work into them, but I'm not satisfied nor do I want to keep them; but, as I am satisfied when I look at the writing from time to time, and I do feel a certain amount of pride with how far I came with this, I want to keep it out there even if it does leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's like a page of history.

2. Should I rename it when I repost it?

I absolutely REFUSE to just add Redone or Remix or any other degenerative slang for 'My other one was crap so read a slightly better version here!' I know that that statement could offend some people, but that's exactly what I feel like I'd be saying if I put that down. That's not how I feel about my rewrite. I feel like I messed up on this one so bad, and that one is what this story was meant to be. I messed up my own artistic vision and I'm not just fixing up a few typos, I'm taking this story to a different path.

So, really, should I rename, and any suggestions? *Note: I am highly unlikely to use any suggestions, but I feel like I always give crap titles and names and would really like to hear what you guys think this story should be called.

3. I want to have several chapters written out before I actually start posting.

It's really meant to be a slow moving story which tries my patience constantly when I'm writing it because I just wanna write the big things but the pace of this story is soo important! It has to flow a certain way that I've failed in this version to be what I really want it to be so it could be a long time coming for the rewrite.

4. I really am happy with my writing, characterizations, and action in this story so some of the scenes from this will be going directly into the rewrite.

Hell, I change about 5 paragraphs after the lemon in the first chapter and that's all the changes I made to chapter one! (These changes are major though and run the conversation in an entirely different direction and make how he gets to headquarters soo… different and it is so important! It may be small, relatively, but the impact on the rest of the story is huge!)

5. *bows * I am so sorry for all the reviews I promised to keep writing this for but I feel like this story should be so much more than the flat, pot of contrivances it's become! I really wanted to keep writing it, but I just can't. I'm sorry for all the promised updates that you waited months for only to receive this, and I'm so sorry that I couldn't deliver what I meant to.

I hope you all forgive me for pulling back on this and one day I hope I'm able to share with you the story I dreamed up because I really believe it is a gem that I can polish into a master piece. Please wait for me and offer me your support. Gomenasai! *bows*

6. This story is NOT up for adoption! EVER! It never will be, and if I catch anyone asking for it, I will skin them with their own teeth! Don't you fucking dare try or get any ideas!

7. I'm probably being very greedy here, but could I ask someone out there to draw a cover art for this story? '^/^ Since we're allowed to put pictures with our stories now and I'm a horrible artist, I'd be honored if someone would draw something for this story.