Summary: Why 2012 was not John Cena's best year at all. The blows he got dealt by life that almost destroyed the men that was John Cena.

Pairings: John/Randy, others will also be featured

Warning: Slash, Violence, Drama, Mpreg, Cena and Orton will be a bit AU in their personalities, I will be switching among different points of views throughout the story. I will not label the points of view but the story's lay out is clear enough that you will not be confuse as to who is speaking or whose thoughts are you reading.

Disclaimer: The WWE, its characters, employees, slogans, and music DOES NOT belong to me. If it did Raw and Smackdown would not be on USA or SyFy it would be on the playboy channel. All that belongs to me is the plot and the Orton-Cena children. Elizabeth and Samantha do not exist in this world.

A/N: For the sole purpose of my plot, injuries and/or story lines will be added, adjusted, or completely taken out.

Now onto better things!

xoxo, WritingGhost

To say that John was depressed was an understatement. He did not want to face the world until he felt he was ready. He did not want to face the world until he had the strength to face both Randy and Morrison. This is why he was thankful when Phil informed him that he had called Vince, Vickie, and Hunter and called him in sick. From what Phil had said to him apparently both Vickie and Hunter knew that John and Randy were over. That gave him a form of relief as he would not have to go into detail as to why he did not want to come into work.

So Phil and Jeff left him to wallow in misery as he wanted. Of course Phil being Phil made him the babysitter they needed. So he was taking care of Alex as Phil went to the arena for a house show to raise hell. While he was pretty sure that Jeff just went for the pleasure of tormenting Randy and Morrison. He did not doubt at all that Jeff just went to the arena just to make sure that Phil did not get carried away and ended beating Randy and Morrison to death. Any other day he himself would have stopped Phil from doing so, but he could not help but hope that Phil maimed them both for hurting him the way they did.

John walked to the portable crib that was settled at the foot of the bed. He peeked in to make sure Alex was still sleeping. The little girl may look as angelic as her mommy Jeff but she was a hell raiser just like her daddy Phil. Like Phil Alex almost never slept during the night. This made for great stories in the locker room. Phil had gotten into so many adventures during the night with his four month old daughter. That in itself made some of the guys and girls in the locker room a little bit concerned for Alex. One of those stories had been when one day they had a live taping of Raw in Texas. Jeff, him, Randy, Morrison, Matt, Amy, Glenn, Mark, Michelle, Colt, Sheylene, Jeff's dad, and Phil's mother had spent the entire day looking for Phil and Alex. Jeff had been looking for Alex and Phil with their help since both had disappeared when he was asleep. Thinking that something happened to the both of them Jeff had been a scared and sobbing mess. Most of the guys were beyond worried as the first time mother that was Jeff sat in the catering area surrounded by his dad, brother, and other divas with tears running down his beautiful face that made everyone feel helpless. A few minutes later Phil walked into the catering room as if nothing were wrong with Alex in his arms both of them wearing ponchos and Mexican sombreros along with Luke and Serena.

When Jeff took in the scene in front of him everyone stood still no one dared to move at all. Phil had walked up to Jeff and kissed him and went on to explain that since he was bored and Alex did not want to go to sleep. He went on a car ride to Tijuana with Luke and Serena and they went sightseeing for a few hours. Than to bury himself further he went on and on about how he had tried to get back before he woke up. To say everyone in the room was looking at Phil in disbelief was an understatement. Jeff being a mom first checked Alex all over and placed kiss all over her and then handed her over to him. He walked far away from them knowing that it was about to get ugly. Boy had he been right Jeff punched Phil so hard that his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Then he kicked Phil in his nuts as Phil went down Jeff kicked him in his stomach. Then he took Alex back and calmingly walked out leaving Phil on the floor in a world of pain.

That day became legendary in the locker room. To this day no one came anywhere near Alex or took her anywhere without Jeff's excusive permission and knowledge. It had been rumored that Phil slept on the couch for two months straight. To say that the rest of the guys in the locker room made fun of Phil to this day was putting it lightly. Even Vince made fun of Phil whenever he saw him. Jeff, Phil and Alex were a source of endless amusement for the WWE wrestlers.

John smiled a bit to himself. He realized that he would never get to have any silly stories like the ones Jeff and Phil got to experience with Alex. This made him even sadder so he picked up the hotel room's phone and called room service and ordered a tub of his favorite cherry vanilla ice cream. After he made the call he picked up the control remote and put on the women's channel were he saw that one his favorite Nora Robert's movie Blue Smoke was playing. He then took a quick shower, after he was through he put on his favorite flannel pajama bottoms and his CM Punk ice cream bar t-shirt. As he once again checked on Alex he heard a knock one the door and he went to answer it. He opened the door to reveal a bell boy with a service cart. Apparently they knew that it was John Cena in the room because the cart not only contained his ice cream but fixings that rivaled most ice cream parlors. He tipped the bell boy and took the ice cream along with the chocolate syrup available back to the bed and proceeded to gorge himself on the delicious ice cream. By the time he was done with his wallowing and self-abuse. He cleaned up after himself and went on to feed Alex who had woken up demanding food and a change of diapers. As he tended to Alex he had a clear and loud epiphany. That if he wanted to move on from Randy he had to be strong. He understood that it was not going to be easy or that it was going to be something that happened over night. He had to be strong for himself not anyone else, if Randy was obviously not broken up over him cheating. He was sure as hell not going to put himself into a depression over Randy. Randall Keith Orton was not worth his tears or pain. He knew he had to be strong for himself especially if he wanted to move one and remake his life.

So he will return to the WWE and do what he did best and that was entertaining people. Hopefully as the time went by he'd be able to work on getting rid of his feelings for Randy and move on. He might even find love again and make a family like he always wanted. That however was something that he knew he would have to wait for. But he hoped that he will have as time went on.

He finished cleaning Alex's diapers and moved around to get her bottle of milk ready. He feed Alex and as he looked into her startling green eyes he knew he had to get back to the John Cena that he was before he got into his relationship Randy. That John Cena wouldn't have taken shit from any one. He would have beaten Randy and Morrison into mush when he found them in bed together. He had to admit that love had blinded him. It made him so blind that he never realized that he loved Randy so much that at some point in their relationship he forgot to love himself first. No he did not regret the decisions he made. But he did regret that he stopped loving himself at some point in the eight year span of their relationship. He forgot that if he wanted others to love him he had to love himself first. If he did not love himself than who else will?