A/N: Hi everyone, I have literally just gone back to school and have a lot of homework to get done but I decided that I would update today despite my busy schedule. I'm sorry this chapter jumps around so much but I've had awful writers block and wasn't sure what to write but this is the first thing that came to mind so I'm sorry if it's bad :( Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
"So you really trust me with your apartment for a whole night?"
"I did, now I'm not so sure." I'm stood in front of a mirror in the living room making final checks on my hair and makeup. Marius asked me to go out with him tonight and I, never refusing a night out, obliged. He told me to meet him at a rather fancy restaurant on the other side of the city.
"Which one do you think?" I ask holding out two diamond necklaces that, despite their similar appearance, are both very different in their own way. Haymitch shrugs from the sofa and points at one that just happens to be my preferred out of the two.
I smile as I hold out the thinly cut diamonds out to him and he stares at me blankly. "I need help."
"Fine," he mumbles, practically rolls off the sofa and comes to stand behind me. He takes the necklace from me and I pull my natural hair over my shoulder and hold it up a little. He places the diamonds across my neck and as I watch him in the mirror I see his brows knit together in concentration as he struggles with the minute clasp.
Eventually he manages to fasten it successfully but his hands linger around my shoulders for a moment before he lets them fall onto my skin. I stay silent and still not sure what to say or do but luckily he removes his hands before the silence can become unbearable.
It has been three days since Haymitch arrived and these small, intimate moments between the two of us have been happening rather frequently. It makes it extremely clear just what his intentions are and I wonder whether I am causing him intense frustration and annoyance when I do not say nor do anything to mirror his actions.
"Well, have fun anyways. Not too much fun mind you." I roll my eyes at his backhanded comment and attempt to brush off the 'moment'.
"Who are you, my father?" I smile and he returns the gesture. "Anyway, I'm going now. Now, while I'm not here: don't get too drunk, try not to set fire to anything and most importantly don't you dare throw up on my new carpet."
"Your confidence in me is astounding, Princ-" he gags and I instantly move forward in an attempt to push him towards the wooden floors instead of the carpet but he instantly straightens up and starts laughing as he brings his glass to his lips.
"You're not funny, Abernathy."
"Jeez, you need to lighten up sweetheart." He slumps down on the sofa, looking pleased with his actions and I search for something to hurl in his direction but decide against it and head out of the door instead.
When I reach the restaurant, it appears to be void of all life from the outside. There is no one in the windows even though the lights are on and I can't help but wonder if I have the right place. I figure that even if I don't, I can still go in to ask for directions.
I push open the glass and chrome door to reveal one of the most beautiful establishments I have probably ever been to.
The carpets are a rich, deep crimson and the walls a warm shade of cream. There are crystal chandeliers cascading down from the ceiling, some holding rocks as large as side plates. There is a man stood by the door in a neatly pressed uniform who I half expect to tell me to come back at opening time but instead, he takes my coat and folds it over the crook of his elbow.
I peer round the corner of the archway, not at all sure what to expect. Whatever he has planned, he appears to have the whole restaurant in on it. I don't see anything but Marius sat at a table laughing at my somewhat unannounced entrance.
"Why are we the only people here?" I ask immediately when I sit down in the seat opposite him.
"Because I thought it would be nicer. More romantic." He takes my hand across the table and I can't help but notice how different it feels to holding Haymitch's. No – I refuse to think of him tonight. I don't say anything, only think what exactly he has planned as I have a small suspicion it won't just be dinner.
"So what exactly are we doing in this lovely restaurant if not to eat?" I question noticing that there are no glasses or cutlery on the table.
"Ah, you caught me," he throws his hands up in mock defeat and I can't help but smile. "Well, I actually brought you here today because there is something I wanted to ask you."
My face hardens but I don't think he really notices.
"Effie, I know we have only known each other for about a month or so and our relationship didn't really get off to a really great start," he begins and I allow myself a small laugh. "But I genuinely feel that you could be the one for me and I hope you feel the same way. I'll be honest and the thought of you being with any other man makes me want to die. I don't really remember the first night I saw you but I remember waking up the next morning next to the most beautiful woman I have ever known. My father said when I was young that if you ever find a girl that's too good for you… marry her."
My heart stops for a moment and I sit completely motionless as he pulls a small blue velvet box from his trouser pocket. "So Effie, will you marry me?"
I find myself walking back to my apartment leaving Marius with some stupid excuse and a promise to meet him back at his place. I look down at the ring on the finger left for that truly special person and notice just how wrong it feels. I begin to question my own judgement, why did I say yes? Of all the stupid, selfish things I've done this tops it all off with a cherry.
As soon as I open the door to my apartment I sink down the wood and end up on the floor. I almost forget Haymitch is here until he speaks. "Is her royal highness all alone? And back so soon."
"Just don't, Haymitch." I mumble my head on my knees. I hear him walk across the apartment and sit down next to me, back on the door. "I've done something completely stupid and I don't know what to do." I say barely louder than a whisper.
I know he is rolling his eyes when he says, "Okay, what have you done?"
I can't find myself even to tell him, if he feels the way I think he does it will break his heart. "He asked me to marry him and I said yes." I hold up my left hand and he inhales sharply.
"Well, what's the problem then? You said it yourself on that interview, all you've ever wanted is to settle down with the man you love… you do love him don't you?"
"What does it matter." I look up from my knees and into his eyes.
"It matters to him." He looks down at the diamond ring on my forth finger and I do likewise.
"What do I do? Tell me what to do, Haymitch." I let a single tear fall down my cheek but quickly wipe it away.
"You need to tell him how you feel. You can't lead him along and let him believe you love him when you don't." He speaks evenly and carefully and I nod in return.
"It'll break him completely." I whisper and Haymitch shrugs.
"It's best to let him go now, the only other alternative is that you marry him and be unhappy for the rest of your life."
"I could learn to love him. Katniss learned to love Peeta didn't she?" What am I saying? I can't marry him; I don't now and will never be able to love him when there is someone I love so much more.
He shrugs again and stands up. "Personally I would take my advice but then again, who wouldn't?" he smiles and I know my decisions made. I wipe away any stray tears and pick up my jacket from the floor, pulling it round my shoulders and head out of the door.
"I was beginning to think you weren't going to come back."
"I was going to leave this until tomorrow but then I realised that it couldn't wait." I say not bothering to take off my coat.
"You sound serious are you okay?" asks Marius taking hold of my hand.
I try to think of a slightly nicer way to say 'I'm sorry, I can't marry you because I realised that I actually don't love you' but can't so just settle for "I can't marry you."
He looks like he could die right there and then but then manages a small hopeful smile. "Well, you don't have to marry me; I can wait for longer if that's what you want."
I shake my head and take my hand from his. "I don't want you to have to wait for me. I want you to be able to live your life without having to wait. That's why I'm letting you go; you deserve someone so much better than me." I slip the diamond engagement ring from my finger.
"No, I don't want anyone else, I want you. Please." His voice is enough to break a heart, just not mine.
"I'm sorry, you don't deserve this." I whisper placing the ring in his empty palm and close his fingers around it. "Goodbye," I say and place a lingering kiss on his cheek before leaving him stood alone and heartbroken in his living room.0
When I exit the building, I find that it is raining and curse myself for not taking an umbrella when I left. I pull the fabric of my jacket around me tightly even though it is soaked through in seconds as soon as I step out from the foyer.
There is the odd rumble of thunder coming from the mountains but I barely notice I just want to get home. By the time I reach my apartment, I am soaked through to the skin and goodness only knows what my hair and makeup must look like.
"Have you done it?" Is the first thing I hear when I open the door.
Haymitch is sat on the sofa with his habitual glass of whisky. I nod and walk straight through the room not wanting to get anything wet and also so that I don't start to cry. I walk into the bathroom and throw my jacket to the floor next to my ruined high heels. I also see just how ridiculous I look, the skin on my face streaked with thick black lines and my hair almost straight under the weight of water.
I lean over the sink and it's not until I see Haymitch lean against the door frame that I begin to sob. He sighs deeply and practically whispers, "come on". I accept the invitation into his arms gladly and rest my head against his chest while he rubs my back in an attempt to calm me down. "You're getting my shirt wet, Princess." He says quietly into my ear and I take my arms from round his waist.
"I'm sorry," I say not only for drenching his shirt but for being such a God-awful person.
"'s okay," He says and is about to walk off but I stop him.
"No, it's not okay. I'm not going to stand here and apologise for myself yet again. Whoever or whatever you think I am, I'm not. I'm just me, just Effie Trinket-"
"Look, wait a minute-"
"All I have ever wanted is for someone to love me for exactly who I am. Well here you go! This is me, this is it." I grab a cloth from one of the cupboards and begin to scrub off the numerous layers of makeup. "Under the mask, behind the makeup. It's just stupid, selfish, irritating me and I'm tired of having to change who I am, who I love just because and can't be or have what I want. I have been hurt so many times in the past and it's hard to have to try and break down those walls you've built up around yourself, to protect yourself but you have to. You have to because if you find someone you really care about then you've just got to go for it. Otherwise… what's the point? I've convinced myself to take an incredibly stupid but incredibly right risk with you right now, Haymitch. So here I am can you take a risk on me to?"
There is a split second where I think that he is going to just walk out of the door as he did the other day but he doesn't, he kisses me and I kiss him back.
He didn't have to answer the question. As he takes me to bed, it becomes quite clear what his answer is. He wants to take a risk on me.
A/N: Yayyy okay! I don't really like the last two paragraphs too much but I just wanted to finish this chapter. I hope you guys liked it and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep reviewing! They keep my writing so yeah, now that I've nagged you ;) continue your fabulous support and I will see all you lovelies next chapter!
Until then my fellow fandom obsessed weirdoes ~ H x