This chapter is dedicated to…

DIVINE DIVINITY!!! Happy birthday girl :D

Ok so I had this written 2 days ago but as some opf you may know, fanfiction has been having some problems for the past days... or maybe it's just me. BUT it wouldn't let me upload the chapter! I was like "NO I can't just leave them like that! with that horrible cliffy!" But hey, it's fanfiction's fault.

B POV

Half of me wanted her to run away as fast as she could- but the louder more dominant part of me of screamed at the other half to shut up.

I crouched to spring; I gladly let the venom start to build up inside my mouth as I imagined what events would take place.

I imagined sinking my razor-sharp teeth into the vein in her neck… drinking that deliciously warm blood of hers… hearing her cries of pain… when coming down from it realizing just what I had done…

Obviously the atmosphere of the room changed and all hands were on me just in time for me to start whipping around and screeching like a banshee. I wanted her blood- needed her blood. It was the only thing I wanted in the world…. And that was very wrong. I held my breath and shut my eyes… what was I just about to do? Everyone's arms clutched me roughly, not giving me any escape- which suited me just fine.

I didn't want to kill her… but I just needed to.

And when that realization hit, I knew there were no other options.

"I-I can't do this." I dry sobbed. I sunk to the ground and started dry heaving. "Get her away…" I whispered. I shut my eyes tight and prayed to just die right then.

"Mommy…" She whimpered; that cut me deeper than any knife would.

"Come on Liz, we got to go." Alice chided.

I heard the sound of footsteps getting farther and farther away after a few moments.

I love you baby… I'm sorry…

I went into a round of dry heaves and sobs, how could this happen to me?! I loved Lizzy, how could I possibly entertain with the idea that I could hurt my little baby?! She was my pride, my joy, my life. I was about to throw it all away in a matter of seconds! I'm such a monster.

I felt more in sync with Edward more than I ever had- it was horrible. My eyes were opening up to what he had suffered through day in and day out. I guessed now was the time.

I semi-composed myself, "Edward", I gasped out. He was immediately at my side trying to comfort me.

"It's over now, love…. Shhh it's alright." He rubbed my back. I realized everyone had left the room; I was secretly grateful.

"I-I-I…" Is all I could sputter.

"It's ok Bella, you don't have to speak."

"No- No, I just…" I clung to his shirt. "I… understand." I broke into more dry sobs; I didn't need to say more. He comprehended it all too well.

"Oh Bella." He groaned and tucked my head under his chin; he stroked my hair in a rhythmic fashion. "I never wanted this to happen to you. For you to experience this…" He pulled me closer.

"What am I going to do? She's going to think I don't love her!"

"No, no, love. Lizzy is a smart girl, she'll understand."

"Y-you sure?" I asked desperately.

"I'm positive, and I think I know why it was so hard." He raised his voice, trying to sound cheery- it didn't work.

"huh?"

"You haven't hunted yet, I bet your thirst is becoming uncomfortable by now." Huh? Oh yeah that… awe crap now I can't think of anything else! My throat was bone dry… so thirsty.

"Ah… ok, um what are we going to hunt?" Stage fright started taking over, what if I did something wrong and ended looking like an idiot. I can see it all now- "the world's first clumsy vampire"!

"Um are you sure, I should start hunting now?"

He chuckled. "I'm sure you'll do flawlessly." Oh. I saw what he was doing.

"Ok we'll go hunt- but your attempt at distracting me isn't working." He sighed and that mask of happiness fell.

"Bella that's beside the point-"

"No it's not! I almost SLAUGHTERED my flesh and blood! My little girl! How could you say it's "beside the point"?" My voice raised an octave, I was getting hysterical.

"It's a part of life, love- part of this new life- I told you that you shouldn't-"

"Don't Edward, I don't need the… "I told you so" speech." I sobbed harder, and started convulsing.

"Oh sweetie…" He pat my back soothingly. "I'm so, so, so sorry Bella." He whispered.

Why was this so hard? I thought this was life I wanted, I thought this was the life I was meant to have, I thought I was supposed to happy… but I'm not. Maybe, just maybe… becoming a vampire was the wrong choice. Back before he left, it seemed like the perfect solution… something changed that. I knew exactly what that something was. I married Jacob, I had a daughter. After Lizzy was born, I unknowingly made becoming a vampire the bad choice. I'm so selfish, I have a human daughter and I was worrying about immortality!

I'm just as bad as Jacob. Maybe worse.

This should never have happened.

When Edward left, the universe was trying to right itself when I met Jacob. Jacob was the back-up plan to Edward, the universe always had an understudy. In a play when the leading actor gets sick or can't make it, it's always the understudy that steps in their place. But you never hear about the actor coming in the middle of play saying "ok get out, my turn" to them.

I'm a horrible monster, I should have told Edward to leave the minute he came back. But… I just can't do that! I crave him, need him! I would never be able to do that. Lizzy deserves better than a mother who runs off into the sunset with her old fling, leaving her in the dust. I needed to be a better mother to her. Now I will never get the chance. I sabotaged myself when I was turned; the universe tried to warn me NOT to become a vampire… but I was too dimwitted to listen.

"I can't do this."

"You didn't have to, she's gone, we'll be able to be around her when you've gained control."

"And when will that be? Twenty- thirty years?!" He didn't answer. "No, she deserves better than me."

"Oh no Bella! Don't say that, please! You're a wonderful mother."

"I can't see her anymore, she doesn't need to be around vampires."

He pulled my face up to his; his eyes were full of seriousness. "Isabella Marie Swan, look who you sound like." He pointed to himself.

"I don't…"

"I said the exact same thing when I left- and look where the hell it got me!" His eyes filled with agonizing pain. "Please. PLEASE, don't make the same horrible mistake I made." I turned my head down, not wanting to meet his gaze. "I remember when I made that decision I made my own assumptions and didn't think about how you would feel- just like you don't know what Lizzy feels. Let Lizzy determine if she wants you, I can't imagine anyone NOT wanting you."

"But-"

"No buts, you're just going to look for a loophole, but let me spare you the trouble- there are none." He said sternly.

I sighed in defeat. "Fine, hunting it is."

L POV

What happened? Why did Mom do that?

I thought back to when her eyes turned from crimson red to coal black, they were filled with such bloodlust; I have never been filled with such terror in my life! Aunt Alice never explained the whole thing but I had a pretty clear picture of what happened. Mom is a vampire- she obviously wants eternity with Edward over me. That's why she was desperate to become one. It makes sense. Why would she waste her boring human life with me when she could spend forever with the one she loves? I get it, I accept it, it doesn't mean I'm not crushed by it.

When she said "I can't do this", it cut me like a blade. Can't do what? Can't be around me because I smell just so damn good? Can't believe I'm still there when I should just leave her alone to be with her Edward? Can't forgive me because I'm not angry at Dean? I'm sure she's pissed off beyond belief at Dean. But she doesn't get it- none of them do!

It was an accident, what happened! All they see is Dean lost control, Mom almost died, the end, automatically label Dean as "unsafe" or "bad". They don't see that it wasn't his fault. Aunt Rosalie had to be a bitch and tease him like that! I'd really thought she'd changed for the better- I guess I know better than to trust her again.

Maybe… maybe it'd be better if… I wasn't around.

OK DON'T GO ALL BALISTIC ON ME! Ya'll know it's not going to end where Lizzy's long gone (or Bella) and their all sad, so cling on to the knowledge this makes it a better plot! Wow I never expected this story to go on for 32 chapters! I expected it to 10 chapters- at most. But then I had to "imaginative" and give Lizzy a boyfriend! Haha

REVIEW EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!