A/N: Hi everyone! I'm relatively okay with this chapter (plot/wording wise) but I'm sorry that it's late because I have SOOOOO MUCH homework and coursework and revision stuff that it is actually unreal… Okay, I don't think I have anything to say really so I will let you all get on with the reading :) HAPPY CHAPTER 20!

If looks could kill, I would be a goner.

Whenever I look up from my distasteful breakfast cereal that I could happily categorize as rabbit food, Haymitch is staring at me. Not directly at me, just in my general direction. If I was alone I would probably ask him what he wants but being in the company of others, I wouldn't want to make a scene.

I think I know what he's doing, he is a strategist and he's just trying to figure me out. He needs a way to find out whatever is bothering me or maybe just to confirm it, he's clever and probably figured it out already.

I will have to tell him at some point or anyone for that matter…but who? I have no one left on this earth to confide in. I have no family, well I have my mother. She's there but she's not there. Besides she would never have understood it anyway. It's times like these I wish my father's even, understanding voice was here to comfort me. But it's not.

We arrive at the Capitol little after ten which is good as I couldn't stand another minute on that damn train that having spent a large amount of time on in the past few months has become rather suffocating.

We are loaded into cars and then driven through the ecstatic crowds craning their necks to get a glimpse of their beloved victors and we just about reach the Training Centre in one piece as the crowds begin to subside and we are allowed inside.

Cinna, Portia and both prep teams are there to greet us all upon arrival and Katniss and Peeta are almost immediately whisked away by their three semi-professional stylists.

I don't know what's gotten into me but I immediately walk over to Portia and give her a hug.

"You okay?" she pulls away and I nod. "What's wrong?"

"Can I not give my best friend a hug?" I ask and she grins giving my hand a squeeze.

"Of course you can but you know you can talk to me anytime," she glances over in Haymitch's direction. "About anything, okay?"

I nod again. "Thank you Portia."

I lied when I said I didn't have a family. Portia is more like a sister than a friend to me; we have known each other forever and were practically joined at the hip all through high school.

She walks down the hallway with Cinna probably to go and check on the outfits for tonight or something. I move over to the small bar area and pour myself a glass of water.

"Christ, you really do have the hormones of a pregnant woman sweetheart," says Haymitch from his place on the sofa. "Nearly bit my damn head off last night then you're all sad and soppy this morning. Either you are pregnant or you have some serious PMS issues."

I turn around and face the window so that he can't see my expression. Could I be pregnant? No of course I couldn't be. I almost laugh at the thought but then I realise that it wouldn't be impossible, in fact it would be extremely possible. I begin to count back days, weeks, months and it wouldn't be completely inconceivable – no pun intended. Come to think of it, I have been feeling a bit off recently but that could be anything! Oh lord, what am I going to-?

I stop thinking and my hand flies to my stomach subconsciously. I felt something, I'm certain. It felt too real to be my mind. No, I'm just being paranoid.

"You're not pregnant are you? I don't think the world would be ready for another Effie Trinket running round causing chaos with 'manners' this and 'schedule' that."

How is he taking this so lightly? The likelihood is that he would be the father, the amount of times we've… so why is he so goddamn happy?! If this got out, I would be dead for sure along with Haymitch and most likely the baby. I'm being ridiculous! I. Am. Not. Pregnant.

I turn around and give him a look that says you're not funny but my gaze softens. "Haymitch I need to talk to you."

He leans back on the sofa and closes his eyes. "I'm all ears, sweetheart."

"Not here, somewhere… quiet." He knows I don't mean quiet, just somewhere no one could be listening.

He pushes himself up and motions for me to follow. I place the glass of water back down on the bar and follow him up the flight of glass stairs leading to the rooftop.

As soon as we are exposed to the outside, a cool breeze hits me making me sigh involuntarily. We stand by the metal railing separating a person from their thirteen story long demise which makes me feel rather uneasy.

"What is it?" he asks propping himself up with his elbow on the railing.

"Well, um-" I don't even know how to start. "A few months back, the day that I got home after I missed my train, the day of the Quarter Quell announcement, I received a note from the President asking me to attend a meeting. I thought it might be about the Quell but it wasn't. He knew the whole time, Haymitch, he knew exactly what was happening and he said that he would've done something but he wanted to see if we sorted it out but we didn't and-"

I trail off feeling tears spring to my eyes but I blink them back. I take a breath and continue but my voice still wavers. "And he told me to stay away from you and that I would have to stay on as Escort after this year to prove my loyalty and I can't, I can't do it anymore Haymitch. I don't know what to do. Help me, please."

Now I cry, hiccupping on every short breath. He puts his hands firmly on my shoulders and catches my gaze. "You just have to do what he says," I open my mouth to object but he keeps talking. "I know you don't want to but you have to. You won't have to do this much longer, believe me, just keep smiling and being you for a while okay, sweetheart?"

I nod letting a few more tears fall before squeezing my eyes closed firmly. I feel Haymitch's lips press gently against my forehead as he pulls me into his arms. Those warm, strong arms that I have come to associate with safety and content.

I bury my head into his shirt and listen to his heartbeat, slow and steady against his chest. It almost makes me forget everything, almost.

"What do you think would've happened if Katniss hadn't won last year? Who would've gone in instead?" the question is completely out of the blue but it's been milling around in my head for a while now.

"I don't know, I doubt the victors would've had to go back into the arena at all. The President wants her dead and this is the prime opportunity." He says and I nod, pulling myself out of his arms. "Saying that though, he wanted me dead for a long time after my Quell, eventually he gave up trying but I guess it's different, I didn't start a war. I wouldn't be surprised if the Reaping was rigged-"

"But surely he wants Peeta dead too, he is just as guilty as Katniss?"

"Peeta isn't a threat, Katniss is. It was Katniss who pulled out the berries, buried the girl in flowers, showed them up -Peeta just went along with it."

I sigh and hold onto the railing looking down at the people below. If Peeta had died last year in the arena, it would be Haymitch and Katniss going in together and the likely outcome would be that Twelve wouldn't have any victors left. I shake the thought from my head.

"We should probably go to lunch," says Haymitch pressing on the small of my back. I nod and we head down to meet the others.

There is only light conversation over lunch but even I don't say much. At one point Katniss asks about hers and Peeta's costumes for the Opening Ceremonies asking if they will be wearing headlamps or fire this year. He responds with, "Something along that line."

I instantly know that whatever it is he has planned will be spectacular but will it be dangerous also?

I suppose only time will tell.

"Haymitch will you hurry up! We are ten minutes late!"

"You were the one who told me to have a shower, sweetheart. The universe isn't going to implode if we are a few minutes late y'know." His voice grows louder as he opens the door to his room.

I smile as he steps out wearing a suit. He never wears a suit.

He returns a lop sided smile and I move to fix his tie but he bats my hand away. "I'm in a suit, that's all you're getting sweetheart."

"Why be in a suit if you're not going to wear it properly?" I chastise, putting my hands on my hips.

"It is on properly, just not how you like it obviously. Not my fault you're picky."

I huff. "Fine, let's go."

As I suspected, we are too late to get any seats to watch the parade, so we stand in the Remake Centre and wait for the chariots to come back.

"Effie!" I turn my head and see Maple Mae, the Escort for Seven, whom I happen to hate with a passion.

"Shit, I'm out." Says Haymitch as he saunters towards the bar.

"Haymitch don't leave me!" I hiss above the hum of conversation in the room but he chooses to ignore me.

"Effie dear, how nice to see you again!" Says Maple in that obnoxious sing-song voice of hers.

"Maple, you're looking well and lovely as ever," I say, smiling falsely.

"Oh you too Effie, I really am surprised they haven't promoted you yet. How many years have you been working for Twelve?" she cocks her head to the side and I have to bite back the urge to hit her.

"Enough," I laugh it off.

"Oh yes, I heard you're leaving after this year. Such a shame, but on the plus side at least you won't have to work with Haymitch Abernathy anymore-"

"He's really not that bad," I interject defensively but pull myself together and continue. "When he's not drinking that is."

"Well, yes, I suppose so." She says prudishly and I can't help but roll my eyes. "I'll see you again soon, I just have to go and see how Johanna and Blight have gotten along." She gives me a kiss on the cheek much to my displeasure and then totters off towards her chariot.

I figure I might as well meet everyone back up in the penthouse but when I go to leave I am stopped by an attendant who tells me "I am not permitted to leave at this time."

I sigh and stand by the exit until Haymitch turns up and we are allowed to leave.

Everyone is directed towards a given elevator and I can't help but laugh as Johanna Mason promptly tells one of the attendants to "go to hell" and joins Katniss and Peeta in their elevator, tossing part of her tree costume behind her.

"And I thought Katniss was strong willed," I say as Haymitch and I are directed towards an elevator. He just smirks.

I stand in the corner as the doors close and we begin moving.

"I hate elevators," I mutter and Haymitch gives me a look.

"Why?" he asks, perplexed and I shrug.

"Is it the thought of the cords snapping and you falling towards your death?"

"No," I shake my head and he grins again.

"Or is it the thought of being uncomfortably close to people?" he takes a step towards me and I take a step back. We continue until my back is against the mirrored wall, his face dangerously close to mine.

No, I can't kiss him again. Don't do it, don't do it. I think somewhere along the way I can't hear my brain anymore for my heart pounding hard against my ribcage.

"No, I'm not scared of that." I say quietly, my lips brushing his lightly as I talk.

"Good," and with that he presses his lips firmly against mine.

My mind screams one word over and over 'stop' but I don't. How can I? How can something so wrong feel so right? How could I have ever thought for a second that I would be able to stop myself once I'd started?

Only the ding of the elevator indicating that we are a matter of floors away, manages to stop me from kissing Haymitch and I put my hands on his chest to stop him from returning his lips to mine.

"We're nearly there," I whisper and he makes a noise.

"Damn," I can't help but laugh as I pull away making final checks to my wig and hastily wipe away any smudges of powder blue lipstick.

I have just enough time to smooth out my dress before the doors open. As much as I try to stop smiling, I can't.

Katniss and Peeta have just arrived by the looks of things as they step out of the adjacent elevator. Katniss heads towards the bedrooms but stops dead in her tracks and looks towards the end of the room at the two Avox's stationed in the corner. They both have the same striking red hair and piercing set of eyes, maybe they're related.

Haymitch has also stopped but in an instant is at Katniss' side and has hold of her wrist as if she is about to take off running towards the Avox or something.

"Looks like they've got you a matched set this year." I say brightly not really knowing how awful it sounds until it has passed my lips.

Katniss wrenches her hand away from Haymitch and storms down towards her old bedroom. I look back over to the Avox but he has disappeared.

"I'm just going to get cleaned up before dinner," says Peeta, excusing himself.

I look back to Haymitch. "Does Katniss know him?"

He an almost hallucinatory nod of the head. I'm puzzled, how could she know an Avox? What did he do?

"What did he do?" I think out loud and Haymitch takes a swig from his silver hipflask. I must have done something right as he answers me and not dismissively. He speaks in a hushed voice that is loud enough for me to hear but not for anyone in about a three meter radius.

"I told you about when Katniss' cousin was punished for hunting," He didn't but I nod anyway. "Yeah, well he got in the way, told the new head Peacekeeper that Gale had had enough, little did he know that that would be the last anyone would hear of him. Quite literally."

I exhale. "That's awful."

"That's the law," he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly as if we weren't talking about someone's tongue being cut out or whatever it is they do to them.

"Did you know him well?"

"Well enough to know that Katniss was about to do something they would both regret." He saunters off to sit down on the sofa leaving me to meditate upon my thoughts.

This must have been deliberate, sending that young man here to work here for Katniss. Is this another of the Presidents plans? I can't help but feel somewhat guilty which is ridiculous; I had nothing to do with it but I have always turned a blind eye to Avox's, it was the way I was brought up. Only now do I realise just how awful it is, to have someone you know well -a friend perhaps- to never be able to speak again.

I look over and see that the table has been laid and food is already being piled onto silver plates like there is no tomorrow. Time to rally the troops as it were.

I knock on Peeta's door and he is quick to answer, his hair still damp from a shower. I knock on Katniss' door and surprise-surprise get no answer. Honestly, I will give up knocking if she is just going to ignore me.

Dinner is quiet yet again but not as solemn as it has been for the past few evenings. It is mainly filled with comments on the outfits for the chariot parade which unfortunately I did not get to see until they got back.

"Well from what I could hear, the crowd must have loved you." I say in the direction of the kids but Katniss, being the loquacious person that she is, ignores me again. Peeta swallows his food before speaking.

"Did you not get to see Effie?"

"No I didn't, at no fault of my own you understand. Your mentor was fighting a losing battle with me about wearing a tie and by the time we got down there, it was practically over." I can't help but throw a glance at Haymitch and he smiles acrimoniously in return.

"Well if Effie didn't make such a goddamn fuss over nothing then maybe we could've gotten down there on time." He replies and I scowl.

"Did no one ever teach you that it is rude to argue at the table?"

"Why are you telling me this, sweetheart?"

I open my mouth to reply but instead start as a dish is knocked to the floor.

In an instant, the male Avox has returned to clean up the spilt peas. Katniss also ducks under the table and I sigh.

"That isn't your job Katniss!" I scold and she subsides in helping him clean up.

We mostly remain silent throughout dinner, making the odd disconnected comment about this and that. We then move into the living room to watch the recap of the Parade.

I seat myself between Haymitch and Peeta and we all watch in silence as some old – some new victors ride down the Avenue of Tributes and towards the beginning of the end.

I have to stifle a laugh as some of the costumes this year truly are pitiful. Whether that is down to the stylists or the state of disrepair some of the older victors have fallen into, I shall never know.

Cinna and Portia have done it again – the outfits are black and fitted but resemble burning coals and embers in a fireplace and compliment the fading evening light perfectly.

As soon as it's over, Katniss stands and thanks Cinna and Portia and heads off to bed.

"Katniss dear, don't forget to meet early for breakfast tomorrow morning to work out your training strategy." I call after her and she nods, continuing down the hallway.

Peeta leaves us soon after and then so do I.

I dress in my nightclothes and sit down on the edge of the bed to wait. I need to wait until everyone has gone to sleep, or at least everyone bar one. I watch the sliver of light under the door disappear as the hallway lights are turned off for the evening. Perfect.

I go to my dresser and take out the small black box I have kept with me for a good few weeks now.

Holding it in the palm of my hand, I quietly open the door and seeing no one in the corridor, slip out and head to the farthest door.

The corridor isn't completely pitch dark and I can see a good few meters ahead of me before the flat wall beside me is swallowed up by darkness.

The light is still on in Haymitch's room much to my content. I don't bother knocking and push open the door.

Haymitch is stood by his dresser, a few pieces of paper in hand which he quickly places face down on the wooden surface. I step further into the room, the box behind my back.

"What are you doing here at this early hour princess?" he asks pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Happy Birthday!" I chime, holding out the box in my palm. He looks at it sceptically and goes to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"You remembered," he says sarcastically and I roll my eyes. "Sweetheart, you of all people should know that it isn't my birthday for months yet so what the hell is this?"

"I guess you'll have to open it and find out," I say brightly but yawn on the last word.

He eyes me suspiciously before taking the box and opening the lid.

"You can forget it, I'm not wearing jewellery." He says with finality in his tone.

I go and sit down next to him on the bed. "It's a very handsome bangle, Haymitch, it would complement your eyes perfectly." He snorts

"Since when have I cared about something complementing my eyes? It is a lovely gesture but I am not going to wear it."

I frown momentarily before realising that I have a backup plan. I lean in closer to his ear and whisper, "do you need motivation?"

I don't have to look to know he's wearing that signature sideways smirk of his. "Depends what it is."

I turn his head to face mine and press my lips gently to his. He responds immediately and turns his whole body to mine, wrapping a hand round the back of my neck and leaving the other just above my kneecap. He tastes like whisky and I can't say I don't like it.

I only remember that I was doing this for a reason when my silk dressing gown is discarded onto the floor. I open my eyes and see the box on the edge of the bed so make a move for it before it can fall off the mattress.

Haymitch continues to kiss my lips, neck and shoulders, blissfully unaware of my cunning plan. I pull out the gold bracelet and undo the clasp on the side one handed before positioning it just above his hand on my leg.

With a snap, the gold closes around his wrist and I smile triumphantly. I break the kiss immediately and toss my dressing gown over my shoulder. "Wonderful, now that it's on please don't take it off."

"What the hell?" he mumbles and I smile widely.

"I really didn't think you would be giving into temptation that easily, I must say I'm surprised!"

"Well if that's what I get for not wearing it, then I might just not wear it. And maybe next time I'll keep it out of reach."

I scowl at his licentious remark but quickly replace it with a bright smile.

"Goodnight Haymitch."

A/N: Eughh God, I hated that ending but hey ho, I couldn't think of anything else. Okay, again a million apologies for the 20 day gap between the chapters and I hope I have made up for it by the length (topping 4000 words! *claps to self*) I will apologise beforehand for the inevitable lateness of the next chapter as I have four exams coming up in May and June so I will be revising like CRAZY for the next few weeks but please! Don't give up on this fic! I love it and all of you way too much to stop writing. Anyway, I think that's all I really have to say except keep on reviewing, I would love to hear ideas and where you think this story will go and your opinions on chapters and whatnot. Okay I'm done so goodnight (or day depending on where you live) to all. See you all next chapter!

With more love than I can express ~ H x