DAY 3
THIS IS DUELIST NUMBER TWO - NO WAIT DAMMIT THAT'S NOT MY NAME. THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR READING THE LAST TWO ENTRIES. AND I DON'T WANT TO MARRY THAT GUY, GODDAMMIT. I WANTED TO DESTROY THE GODDAMN BOAT AND RETURN TO MY DUELS.
I MEAN SERIOUSLY, I HAVE TRIED SO HARD TO BURN THIS BOAT TO THE GROUND FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS. IT SEEMS MY PLANNING SKILLS ARE SOMEWHAT REDUCED BY AGE. ANYWAY INSTEAD I HAVE CAPTURED THE TWO WEIRDOS AND MY DUELING PARTNER IN THE HOLD AND PLAN TO RAM THE SHIP INTO AN ICEBERG. I THOUGHT THIS WAS A MUCH FASTER PLAN THAN JUST BURNING THE BOAT. MY LOGIC IS PERFECT.
HOW DID I DO THIS YOU ASK? WELL IT WAS QUITE CLEVER. IT ALL BEGAN WITH FINDING THE DIARY. I QUICKLY OBSERVED THAT THESE TWO ARE IDIOTS WHO ARE TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH EACHOTHER AND DECIDED TO PLAY ON THEIR FEELINGS. IT'S A TEXTBOOK VILLAIN STRATEGY BUT HEY, IF YOU CRAP IN A UNIQUE MANNER, IT'S STILL CRAP IN THE END. MIGHT AS WELL JUST CRAP. OK.
I TOLD THE GIRL THAT THE BOY (? NOT REALLY SURE. NICE COAT THOUGH) WANTED TO MARRY HER, SINCE HE HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE BETWEEN VOMITING LATELY AND SHE TOTALLY SPACED OUT. THEN I WAS ABLE TO CONVINCE MY DUELLING PARTNER TO BE THE VICAR, AND THAT THE WEDDING WOULD TAKE PLACE IN THE CABIN. THEN I TOTALLY TOLD THE BOY? THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE IN 1 HOUR AND HE SHOULDN'T DIE ALONE SO SHOULD DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. SO ALL THREE WENT INSIDE AND I-
ACTUALLY... I JUST LOCKED THE DOOR AFTER THAT. I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE TOLD THEM IT WAS A GIANT TRAP OR LAUGHED EVILLY OR SOMETHING. THEY PROBABLY HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED. I WONDER IF THEY'RE MARRIED.
GODDAMN DID I JUST FAIL? OH WELL IT MATTERS NOT.
DUELIST NO- OH FORGET IT, IT'S 3:22PM THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.