The Late Lisa St. Croix
By
UCSBdad
Disclaimer: Castle I own not, Grasshopper. Rating: M. Time: The summer between Season Two and Three.
Kate was unhappy when they got back to Castle's home, but she was determined to do a good job for the victim.
When they walked into Castle's bedroom, Kate sat on the bed. "Mr. Castle, I need to ask you some questions."
"Mr. Castle?" Rick said, puzzled. "What happened to Rick, or Castle?"
"In a murder investigation I feel I need to maintain a certain distance when I'm interrogating someone." Kate said briskly.
"A certain distance? An interrogation? For what?"
"I need to know about your relationship with the victim, Mr. Castle."
"There was no relationship."
"None at all?" Kate said with a hint of disbelief. "I find that hard to believe, Mr. Castle. A beautiful woman who is notoriously sexually available, and a man with your reputation with the ladies? You know, Mr. Castle, I'll be talking to other people. It would be best if you told me the truth now." Kate glared at him. "Much better."
Castle blushed and then sat down on the bed with Kate. Kate put her leg on the bed to keep him from moving closer.
"Um, there was one time."
"So you slept with her?" Kate said coldly.
"No! I most certainly did not. Will you just let me tell you what happened?"
"Certainly."
"It was just after Gina and I started dating. We went to a party. It was at Jimmy Newton's, I think. Anyway, it was summer and it was really hot. The air conditioning couldn't keep up with all the people in the house, so I went outside to get some fresh air. I heard someone behind me and I thought it was Gina, but when I turned around it was Lisa. She whipped her tee shirt off and jumped me. She had her arms around my neck and was kissing me and her hand was down my pants."
"I assume you fought her off?" Kate's voice indicated she assumed the exact opposite.
"I didn't have to. Gina had seen her come after me and came after her. She grabbed Lisa and told her if she ever touched me again, she'd regret it. Lisa just laughed and went back inside."
"You never had sex with the victim?"
"I never had sex with that woman." Castle said loudly.
"I hope we aren't going to get into an argument about what the meaning of "is" is."
"Kate! Nothing happened."
"How large were her breasts?"
"How is that relevant?"
"I'd like to know how observant you are, Mr. Castle. Answer the question, please."
"It was dark. I don't know."
Kate shook her head. "A man with your vast experience with the female breast? Really, Mr. Castle."
"I have heard that she was a 36D, but that's strictly hearsay."
"You have no personal experience to draw on?"
"Um, well…Not exactly...Sort of…I wouldn't be able…"
"Mr. Castle," Kate said quietly. "I think you should be honest with me."
"There was this time about four years ago. I was at Sid Streelman's. He has a private beach. Lisa was sunbathing…"
"In the nude?"
"No! She had a bikini on. But she had loosened the top and was lying on her face. Then she sat up and began to rub sun tan oil on her boobs. Then she plopped back down, but on her back this time."
"How would you categorize her boobs, Mr. Castle?"
"They were the second best pair I've ever seen."
"Second best? The best pair must have been truly spectacular."
"They are."
"Where would I see this magnificent pair, if I may ask?"
"Just look down. They're your boobs. They're the best I've ever seen. Nobody else's even comes close."
Kate was having trouble maintaining a poker face. "Really? Do you really expect me to believe that after seeing the boobs of super models, strippers, mystery groupies, society women…"
"They're the best boobs in the world because they're yours. Look, I actually have learned something from my two failed marriages. I learned that you can't have sex all the time. At some point you have to actually talk to your partner. Maybe when I was eighteen someone like Lisa would have appealed to me. But once I became an adult, such as I am, anyway, she no longer appealed. To borrow Dorothy Parker's phrase, there was no "there" there."
"No "there" there?"
"She was a gorgeous body and a skillful lover, but that was it. There wasn't anything else. I'd rather spend an hour with you fully clothed than a year with ten naked Lisas."
Kate blushed. "That's very sweet, Rick."
"No, that's very honest." Rick moved over beside her and stroked her hair. "I'd really like to show you how much I appreciate your breasts, and the rest of you."
"With me fully dressed for an hour?"
"If that's what you want."
"That's not what I want." Kate said, taking her top off.