EVERYONE AGREED IT HAD BEEN TOO LONG OF A DAY FOR ANY MORE DRAMA. SO THEY HID THE KNIVES IN THE KITCHEN, AND LEFT YOUSAY TO HIS MANLY PROBLEMS.
TED AND WILLIAM HAD BEEN MADE TEMPORARY MEMBERS OF THE TEAM AND WERE ALLOWED TO SLEEP ON THE WORKBENCHES.
MORE PROOF THAT THE YOUNG PEOPLE DO NOT GIVE A FLYING CRAP ABOUT THE ELDERLY IN THIS SERIES.
JACK, BEING DEAD, HAD TOLD EVERYONE HE COULD NO LONGER SLEEP SO CARLY TOOK HIM FOR COFFEE SOMEWHERE - BUT NOT BEFORE JACK PUNCHED BRUNO INTO A COMA BECAUSE HE'S JACK ATLAS. WE'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO THEM LATER.
ALL WAS QUIET AND ALL WAS PEACEFUL AND, JUST AS THE CLOCK STRUCK 12...
...YOUSAY EMERGED FROM THE ROOM.
HE HAD AN EXPRESSION OF DETERMINATION ON HIS FACE BUT IT DIDN'T LOOK MUCH DIFFERENT FROM HIS REGULAR EXPRESSION.
HE CREEPED (WELL WALKED NORMALLY) DOWN THE HALLWAY. PAST THE SLEEPING ELDERLY, PAST CROW ASLEEP IN THE BROOMCUPBOARD (CROW THOUGHT HE MIGHT AS WELL TRY IT ONCE) AND RELUCTANTLY PAST BRUNO IN A COMA. HE CREPT TO THE DOOR AND OUT OF IT.
AND HE WAS GONE.
MEANWHILE, IN THE COFFEE PLACE, JACK AND CARLY WERE TALKING MYSTERIES AGAIN.
"HOW IS YOUR BLACK MAGICIAN ESPRESSO." JACK ENQUIRED, TRYING NOT TO TALK MYSTERIES.
"IT'S BLACK." SAID CARLY.
JACK WAS UNIMPRESSED.
"AND WARM." SHE ADDED QUICKLY AND GOT OUT HER LAPTOP AND OTHER REPORTER THINGS. "SO ANYWAY I NEED TO SUMMARISE WHAT HAPPENED OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS."
"CAN'T WE JUST DRINK OUR COFFEE." JACK SAID, SHRINKING A BIT INTO THE CHAIR AND STARING AT HIS QUAD SHOT MILLENIUM PUZZLE AMERICANO WHICH WOULD SURELY KILL HIM IF HE WERE NOT ALREADY DEAD. "YOU CAN DO THAT TOMORROW - PREFERABLY WHEN I'M NOT AROUND."
"JACK, I PROMISE ONCE I FINISH THIS I AM YOURS FOREVER. I JUST HAVE TO-"
WHOA CHILD. WAS IT REALLY THAT LATE THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS SAYING ANYMORE? SHE BEGAN TO FLUSTER.
"FINE." JACK SAID QUICKLY BEFORE SHE COULD RETRACT HER WORDS "I'M DEAD, THE CRAB WAS A LIE, YOUSAY IS THE CAKE AND THE BOAT GOT TURNED INTO A BIKE."
SOMEWHERE IN THE CAFE A MAID HAD SLIT HER WRISTS BECAUSE SHE HAD FOOLISHLY COMPARED HER BOYFRIEND TO JACK.
"THE BOAT GOT TURNED INTO A BIKE!?" CARLY SAID, SNAPPING OUT OF HER BLUSHERAMA.
"THE FIRST DAY WE GOT BACK. DIDN'T YOU NOTICE?"
ACTUALLY CARLY DIDN'T. SHE WAS TOO BUSY TRYING TO PERSUADE JACK THAT HE WAS NOT DEAD, AND EVEN IF HE WAS DEAD AND OBVIOUSLY STILL BREATHING, HE DIDN'T HAVE TO LAY IN A COMA POSITION AND PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP. IT TOOK 2 HOURS BUT HE FINALLY DECIDED THE DEAD COULD WALK ALL ON HIS OWN. SHE WAS SO PREOCCUPIED WITH HIM THAT SHE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE ANYTHING ELSE.
"I... I SUPPOSE THAT'S THAT THEN." SHE SAID TYPING IT INTO HER LIVEJOURNAL. SURELY IMPLYING THAT IT "THAT" NEVER ACTUALLY MEANS "THAT".
"PERFECT. AND NOW THAT'S DONE, YOU ARE MINE FOREVER" JACK SAID SNARKILY AS IF HE'D JUST WON CANDY FROM A SMALL CHILD IN A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME ON HIGH-SPEED MOTORCYCLES.
CARLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. JACK HAD BEEN GIVING HER SO MANY MIXED SIGNALS LATELY - WHAT WITH THE MARRIAGE CRAP AND THE INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING. SHE WOULD TOTALLY GIVE HERSELF TO JACK BUT HE WAS BEING SO AMBIGUOUS. WHAT IF HE WAS JUST LEADING HER ON? WOULD SHE BE ABLE TO TAKE THE REJECTION? SURELY IT WAS BETTER JUST HANGING OUT LIKE THIS, BUT…
"JACK, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING...?"
JACK HAD HAD ENOUGH OF THIS OWL SHIT. WAS SHE GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER EXCUSE NOT TO SIMPLY ENJOY HIS PRESENCE? NOT GONNA HAPPEN. HE GRABBED HER ARMS AND BEGAN THE MOST EPIC SPEECH OF HIS CAREER YET.
"CARLY, I MAY BE A DEAD MAN BUT HOW CAN I MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALL I WANT TO DO IS-"
"KILLYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!"
THEY LOOKED UP AND OUT OF THE WINDOW AND SAW THAT YOUSAY HAD JUMPED OFF THE BUILDING
"OH SHIT, NOT THIS CRAP AGAIN." JACK FROWNED AS YOUSAY CRASHED THROUGH THE WINDOW, LANDED ON THE TABLE PERFECTLY, LOOKED AROUND AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TOWARDS THE LIFT TO CLIMB UP TO WHEREVER HE FELL FROM AGAIN.
"WHAT'S HE DOING!?" SAID CARLY.
"SAME THING EVERY TIME HE GETS OBSESSED WITH BLUE-HAIRED PEOPLE. WE FILMED IT LAST YEAR AND PUT IT ON NICOVIDEO, IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY." SAID JACK "YEAH. FUNNY AS HELL."
"THIS IS AWFUL! WHAT STOPPED HIM DOING IT!??" CARLY SAID BECAUSE SHE HAD ALREADY LOOKED UP THE SPECIFIC VIDEO ON YOUTUBE. "ACTUALLY THIS IS PRETTY FUNNY."
"WELL HE FOUND KILLYOU AND DUELED HIM INTO SUBMISSION." THEN HE WAS OK - WELL UNTIL BRUNO CAME ALONG. THEN THIS WHOLE VICIOUS CYCLE STARTED AGAIN."
THERE WAS A SPARKLE IN CARLY'S EYE AND A STONE IN JACK'S STOMACH. HE KNEW WHAT HAD TO BE DONE.