Of all of the things that could have happened in my so-called teenage life I would never have imaged I would agree to meet Jordan Catalano in the boiler room at school. Or that we would end up, like, together. I could not have predicted that he would have sex with my best friend, that we would be like almost killed in a car accident and for it to bring us so close together that I would end up actually having sex with him. I would not have thought he could make me feel so mad, mad enough that I couldn't take it anymore. I would never have pictured myself on a Saturday night waiting outside my house for Brian Krakow to take me to the cinema.
Angela spotted Brian as soon as he stepped out of his house; the light above his door illuminated him like a little curly haired gnome in a ridiculous blazer. She cringed at the realisation he was carrying a bouquet of flowers. She wasn't quite sure what had come over her when she had asked Brian to the cinema. All she knew was he was straightforward when everything else in her life seemed complicated. Maybe she needed him.
Brian presented her with the flowers as he approached her porch. Angela took them, attempting to look grateful.
"Thanks,"
"They're white lilies,"
Angela smelt them.
"They had them at my Grandma's funeral,"
She frowned a little.
"I mean, not that it's morbid or anything. I just liked them," Brian stumbled.
"Shall we go?"
Brian nodded.
"Let me just put these in water,"
"Oh I have some instructions here that came with them, so you won't kill them,"
Angela took the slip of paper Brian held out to her before disappearing into the house.
Brian lingered on the porch while Angela was inside. He felt breathless. This was the moment he had waited for most of his adolescent life, when he and Angela would be alone together. This could be the night everything in his life changed.
They arrived at the cinema thirty-five minutes early; Brian had a thing about being early. They decided to wait outside for a while on the sidewalk.
"I guess they're still cleaning the theatre," Brian suggested.
"I don't know, I think maybe the showing before hasn't finished yet,"
Angela went to sit down on the curb but Brian was there before her to lay his coat down on the ground.
"Thanks,"
She was struck by the kindness of the act and felt the need to try and explain to Brian so that he wouldn't get the wrong impression.
"Brian, you know this is just a trip to the movies right? This isn't anything like official,"
"Oh yeah, of course,"
"Only the flowers and everything was kinda-,"
"Oh no, they were nothing, I thought maybe they would cheer you up. I mean you seemed kinda upset the other day, which is why I agreed to come with you tonight,"
"Brian you asked me first,"
"Well I mean you brought it up, I had more or less given up on the idea actually. I had a lot of other stuff to do this weekend,"
"Whatever,"
The doors opened and a crowd of people streamed out of the cinema, Angela and Brian found themselves suddenly surrounded by people.
"So are you?"
"What?"
"Upset?"
"No, why would I be?"
One of the passers by knocked Angela's shoulder as she passed, pushing her into Brian. She quickly righted herself and Brian decided immediately that he would never wash his shirt again.
Neither of them really paid much attention to the movie. All Angela could think of was Jordan. She imagined them going to see a film together, sat near the back, legs entwined, sharing popcorn. Of course neither of them would be able to resist the temptation brought about by sitting in the darkness, Jordan especially. Angela smiled at the thought of it. It would probably start with his hand on her knee and then him kissing her neck. Eventually her resolve would crumble and she would loose track of the film entirely, closing her eyes as Jordan's hand made its way from her knee up to her chest. She would drop the box of popcorn, unable to concentrate on anything other than how good it felt to have Jordan exploring her body in an environment that was so intimate and yet at the same time so public, like really naughty.
Angela dropped the popcorn.
Brian looked down at the pile of popcorn that now lay beside the toppled box on the floor.
Angela couldn't help the guilty expression on her face; even in the darkness Brian must have noticed it. She felt like a kid who had just been caught raiding the cookie jar and she cursed herself for allowing Jordan to invade her thoughts once again.
Brian couldn't quite work out why one of the characters in the movie was suddenly so angry. He realised something important must have happened during the moments he had looked away from the screen to examine Angela's face. He was thankful for the darkness that enveloped them as it allowed him to look at her without it being really obvious, yet the light from the screen illuminated her just enough that he could make out her features; her long eyelashes, the way her jaw moved as she chewed the popcorn.
As they left the cinema it was raining heavily and had been for some time, puddles had formed in every conceivable space. Brian immediately took off his coat and gave it to Angela. She took it thankfully and held it over her head and around her shoulders. Brian watched her struggle to hold the coat over her head against the wind. He smiled.
"What?" Angela asked amid her frustration.
"Nothing," but Brian couldn't keep the smile from his face.
As the pair lingered on the sidewalk a truck sped past them, sending the water from the gutter gushing over the sidewalk like a mini-tidal wave. The water splashed up and soaked the squabbling pair, who were immediately silenced. Each slowly looked up from their dripping attire and stared at one another in shock for a few moments before Angela finally burst into fits of hysterical laughter. Brian attempted to keep a straight face but the sight of her dripping wet, not to mention the way her clothes were now sticking to her body, eventually defeated him and he smiled.
They walked home slowly, occasionally laughing about the incident. Once or twice Angela's hand accidentally brushed Brian's, each time sending a warm rush up his arm. It seemed to Brian that he walked at least three feet off the ground. He felt as though, if he were just to kick his legs, he would spin off into the sky. He smiled at the thought; if he could just disappear into the night sky and become like some sort of star and have only the memory of this night for all eternity then he believed he would be content. They paused outside Angela's house.
"Thanks, I had a good time,"
Brian nodded, "good, I mean I'm glad. Maybe we could do it again--if you want?"
There's something about Brian Krakow. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something always tells me not to dismiss Brian Krakow. I mean he's certainly no Jordan Catalano, but maybe that's the point.
"Okay," she nodded.
"Really?" Brian asked - perhaps a little too excitedly.
"Why not,"
"But I mean what will Jordan Catalano think?"
"Why?"
"I just thought the two of you were back together. I mean I heard that somewhere. I think someone mentioned it,"
Angela rolled her eyes. Although she had quite happily enjoyed a fantasy about him in the cinema, the actual mention of his name brought back the feelings of anxiety and frustration.
"What difference does it make anyway?" she began in a tone perhaps more agrressive than Brian deserved, "what business is it of yours?"
"It's not," Brian reacted to her change of tone by becoming defensive himself, "nothing Jordan Catalano does is any business of mine,"
"Right, you're right it's not, you know nothing about him,"
"Neither do you,"
Sometimes, without even knowing it, someone will say something that strikes like a dagger with pinpoint accuracy at the most painful place in your heart.
Angela went to turn away, "just go home Brian,"
"You can tell you know,"
She turned back, "what?"
"I'm just saying, people are talking about you. I mean I try not to listen to what they say but I'm just telling you,"
Angela froze on the spot and stared at him, trying to decifer if he was telling her this because he cared or because he knew it would hurt her. Was Brian capable of being so heartless?
Angela turned and disappeared into the house leaving Brian lingering on the porch whispering into the night air the words he wished he could say. No one was talking about her, he knew but he couldn't help but study what her reaction would be. He was certain he was the only one who could tell anything had changed, except perhaps Sharon. They had both known Angela for as long as they could remember. It was something about the way she stood, the way she occasionally placed her hand on her hip now, the way she looked at him. He knew, and it killed him.
Thank you again for the reviews. This was a shorter chapter but I will update again soon xx