IN THE DOORWAY STOOD THE CRAB.

"GREETINGS." SAID THE CRAB.

EVERYONE STOOD STILL FOR A MOMENT. MANY DID NOT KNOW WHO THE CRAB WAS SO THIS WAS REALLY FREAKIN WEIRD FOR THEM I GUESS.

"M-MR. CRAB! B-B-BUT YOU DIED! WE BURIED YOU!" CARLY GASPED.

"HELLO?" SAID JACK, GLARING AT CARLY AND MOTIONING TO HIS OWN BODY. CARLY WAS IN TOO MUCH SHOCK TO NOTICE THE FREE MONEY SHOT HE JUST OFFERED HER.

"WELL" SAID THE CRAB, CRAWLING TOWARDS THEM. "AFTER I WENT TO CRAB HEAVEN, I REALISED YOU COULD BE RIGHT. WHAT IF I'M NOT JUST AN ORDINARY CRAB WITH NO AMBITIONS? IN FACT, I MAY NOT EVEN KNOW WHO I AM AT ALL! WHAT IF I HAD JUST FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING? SO I RETURNED TO EARTH AND POSESSED THE BODY OF THE YOUNG CRAB YOU SEE BEFORE YOU. WE LOOK VERY ALIKE. ANYWAY, TOGETHER WE TRAVELLED ACROSS THE ISLAND LOOKING FOR MY LOST MEMORIES. AND I FOUND THEM."

"AND...?" CARLY SAID, EVERYONE LOOKING ON WIDE-EYED LIKE CHILDREN.

"I AM IN FACT," SAID THE CRAB "AN ATLANTEAN GOD."

"OH WOW, FOR SOME REASON I AM TOTALLY FAMILIAR WITH YOUR DILEMMA." SAID TED, COMPLETELY RUINING THE IMPACT. HE THEN WENT BACK TO READING THE PREVIEWS FOR TOMORROW'S SOAP OPERAS.

"WELL THIS IS AN AMAZING STROKE OF LUCK!" SAID BRUNO, "BUT HOW DID YOU GET HERE?"

"WELL I HAD A BIT OF HELP." SAID THE CRAB AND BEHOLD, KILLYOU SHEEPISHLY ENTERED BEHIND HIM. "LUCKILY WE RAN INTO EACHOTHER ON THE ISLAND. AFTER PLAYING A CARD GAME, I FILLED HIM IN ON THE DETAILS ABOUT JACK AND CARLY'S VISIT."

"YEAH" STARTED KILLYOU "I HEARD YOUSAY WAS IN DANGER SO - OH HEY YOUSAY."

"WHEN YOU GO ON A TRIP YOU SHOULDN'T GO TO THE SAME PLACE TWICE. X." SAID YOUSAY AND TURNED BACK TO THE COMPUTER. KILLYOU LOOKED AT HIS FEET AND LOOKED SAD.

"SO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON NOW?" SAID CROW "CAN WE FINISH THIS WHOLE MESS SO I CAN CLEAN?"

"YES" SAID THE CRAB "AND I'M AFRAID I GAVE YOU THE WRONG INFORMATION."

THE CRAB FOUND AKI'S LEG AND STARTED WALKING UP IT TO GET A BETTER VIEW OF HIS AUDIENCE. STRANGELY SHE DIDN'T MIND. HE COUGHED BEFORE BEGINNING:

"FORTUNATELY, YOUSAY IS DESCENDED FROM JUST A REGULAR CRAB WHO WAS RATHER GOOD AT FIXING THINGS. IN A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE THE DESCENDANT BORN OF ATLANTEAN AND AZTEC BLOOD IS THE CRAB THAT I POSESSED, BECAME FRIENDS WITH, BONDED WITH IN ORDER TO RETREIVE MY MEMORIES."

"THIS IS REALLY WEIRD. I'M TOTALLY GETTING SOME KIND OF DEJA VU HERE. I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE BUT IT DEFINITELY MIGHT BE A FAMILIAR SITUATION TO THAT." SAID TED. "IT'S A SHAME I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING EITHER."

"IT'S AN ANCIENT CIVILISATION THING." SAID THE CRAB. "YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND UNLESS IT HAPPENED TO YOU."

"HUH, PROBABLY WATCHED IT ON TV OR SOMETHING." SAID TED, READING THE SPORTS PAGES.

"SO WE DON'T NEED TO KILL YOUSAY!" SAID BRUNO "THAT'S GREAT! BUT... DOESN'T THAT MEAN YOU HAVE TO KILL THE NEW FRIEND CRAB?"

"OH. ABOUT THAT. YEAH. I'VE DEALT WITH THAT." SAID THE GOD CRAB, AND IF A CRAB COULD AWKWARDLY LOOK SIDEWAYS LIKE HE WALKED, HE WOULD HAVE DONE SO.

"YOU... YOU KILLED HIM ALREADY AND TOOK HIS BODY." SAID AKI "THAT'S... WOW. YOU'RE A MURDERER."

"OH DON'T PUT IT LIKE THAT. I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE! I HAVE AMBITIONS NOW." SAID THE CRAB. "MYSELF AND KILLYOU ARE GOING TO TEAM UP AND START A RESTAURANT. HE WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD HAD I TOLD HIM."

"THAT'S RIGHT" SAID KILLYOU, AVOIDING YOUSAY'S GLARE OF A THOUSAND BROKEN PROMISES. "IT'S GOING TO BE THE HAPPIEST RESTAURANT EVER."

"AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT IF YOU'RE DEAD, RIGHT?" LAUGHED THE CRAB AND KILLYOU JOINED IN THE LAUGHING. YOUSAY CONTINUED GLARING.

"YES YOU CAN!" SAID JACK, FINALLY PULLING THE PROVERBIAL LAST STRAW "YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING THE SAME WHEN YOU'RE DEAD! I'M JACK ATLAS!"

"OH, YES, JACK" SAID THE CRAB "I ALSO CAME TO TELL YOU YOU'RE NOT DEAD."

"WHA..." SAID JACK "BUT I SAW MYSELF DIE WITH MY OWN EYES! IF I'M NOT DEAD... AND I'M NOT ALIVE..." HE SUDDENLY CLUTCHED CARLY CLOSE YET KEPT HIS COOL EXPRESSION "I'M READY FOR THE NEWS - WHAT HAPPENED TO ME MR. CRAB"

"NO, NO YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG-" SAID THE CRAB.

SUDDENLY THE GROUND BEGAN TO TREMBLE.

"WHAT NOW!?" SAID AKI, HOPING SHE COULD FALL INTO YOUSAY'S ARMS BUT HE WAS TYPING AN EMAIL FURIOUSLY.

"THAT WOULD BE THE MAN WHO LIED TO YOU, JACK." SAID THE CRAB.