SO THEY ALL RAN OUTSIDE ONLY TO SEE WILLIAM LEANING OUT OF A GIGANTIC TANK.

"TED MUST DUEL ME IN A FINAL DUEL TO END ALL DUELS AND IF I WIN, WE BOTH RETURN TO THE SEA AND PLAY CARD GAMES FOREVER. BUT IF I LOSE, THEN TED CAN STAY AND I'LL JUST TAKE OVER THIS CITY WITH MY SPARE TIME INSTEAD." WILLIAM SPOUTED, BEFORE ANYONE COULD SAY WHAT THE HELL.

"WHAT IS THIS LATELY, SPECIAL FRIEND WARS!?" CROW CRIED

"TANK." SAID YOUSAY, FROWNING. HE DIDN'T LIKE THEM.

"AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE OVER THIS CITY?" JACK SAID IN HIS BEST COOL VOICE. "YOU'RE JUST AN OLD MAN, WILLIAM! AN OLD MAN!"

"WAIT" SAID THE CRAB. "I HAVE HEARD TALES OF THIS OLD MAN, AND THE OTHER OLD MAN. THE TWO OLD MEN - WHATEVER. THE SEA HAS BEEN TRYING TO BE RID OF THEM AND THEIR ANNOYING CONSTANT BATTLING FOR 40 YEARS BUT IT HASN'T WORKED. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE VERY SEA ITSELF HERE."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING" SAID JACK "THAT THE SEA CAN'T BEAT UP TWO OLD MEN? THAT I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR OF THE SEA?"

"NO" SAID THE CRAB "I THINK THAT THIS OLD MAN MAY ACTUALLY BE UNSTOPPABLE."

"TED? YOU'RE LOSING THE DUEL." JACK SAID EMPHATICALLY.

TED WAS AGAST "B-BUT I JUST FOUND CIVILISATION AGAIN AFTER 40 YEARS. I'M AN OLD MAN. MY LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED. HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH? CAN YOU AT LEAST TRY AND SOLVE THIS WITHOUT ME SPENDING THE REST OF MY SAD DAYS AT SEA PLAYING CARD GAMES?"

"SHUT UP YOU'RE LOSING THE GODDAMN DUEL."

TED BEGAN TO CRY.

"OH JACK, COME ON. HE HAS A POINT." CARLY SAID, NOT BEING ABLE TO FEEL NOT SORRY FOR THE OLD MAN. "THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY."

ALWAYS WITH THE "ANOTHER WAY". WHY COULDN'T SHE DO THINGS THE JACK ATLAS WAY? THOUGHT JACK, THINKING THAT CARLY LOOKED LIKE THE BABY OF A PUPPY AND AN OWL, WHICH WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF DISTURBING. HE GAVE UP.

"FINE." SAID JACK FOLDING HIS ARMS "HAVE IT ANOTHER WAY."

"DON'T WORRY TED" SAID CARLY "WE WON'T SEND YOU BACK TO SEA, UNLESS THERE REALLY IS NO OTHER WAY OF COURSE."

"WHOA, HEY, HOLD UP. SINCE WHEN IS JACK THE LEADER?" SAID CROW "AND WHO SAYS WE CAN'T DEFEAT THIS STUPID OLD MAN, WE HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED!"

"SO YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING WE KILL THEM BOTH?" SAID THE CRAB "I'M DOWN WITH THAT."

"YOU'RE SUCH A MURDERER OH MY GOD." SAID AKI.

"OH GIVE ME A BREAK, NOBODY WANTS THEM BACK ON THE SEA. IT'S THE LAND'S TURN" SAID THE CRAB, RUNNING TOWARDS THE TANK AND STANDING IN FRONT OF IT "QUIT THIS RIDICULOUS LINE OF THINKING, WILLIAM. I'VE KILLED BEFORE AND BY GOD I'LL DO IT AGAIN!"

"BE VERY CAREFUL, MR CRAB!" SHOUTED KILLYOU. BUT HE WASN'T WORRIED. MR CRAB WAS AN ATLANTEAN GOD, AFTER ALL.

"STOP THIS! STOP EVERYTHING" SCREAMED TED "WILLIAM, WHY DO YOU WANT TO PLAY CARD GAMES WITH ME? WHAT POSSIBLE REASON IS THERE FOR THIS INSANITY APART FROM ACTUAL INSANITY?"

"AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE I LIKED BEING ABLE TO BULLY AND CONTROL YOU." SAID WILLIAM "BUT I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE CARD GAMES ON TV THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS AND I REALISED THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DEFEAT 3 TIMES IN A ROW. CARD GAMES ARE MY LIFE, TED, AND YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY THEM WITH ME FOR THE REST OF IT."

"OKAY!! THEN LET'S LIVE TOGETHER SOMEWHERE. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SEA! IT CAN BE RIGHT HERE IN THE CITY! AND WE CAN STILL PLAY CARD GAMES EVERY DAY - I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO WATCH MY SOAP OPERAS, THAT'S ALL. I'LL EVEN COOK!"

"Y-YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?" SAID WILLIAM "WE CAN STILL PLAY CARD GAMES FOREVER? YOU WON'T ABANDON ME FOR REAL ACTUAL FRIENDSHIPS?"

"UNTIL WE DIE" SAID TED "UNTIL WE DIE" SAID TED AGAIN FOR EFFECT, GRIPPING HIS TV GUIDE TIGHTLY.

"THIS IS BEAUTIFUL AND I AM NOT CRYING" SAID JACK, SHEDDING A SINGLE MANLY TEAR BUT STILL KEEPING HIS SERIOUS COOL FACE BECAUSE HE'S JACK ATLAS. CARLY PATTED HIS ARM.

"WHADDYA SAY, WILLIAM?" SAID TED, REACHING OUT HIS FRAIL BONY HAND.

WILLIAM, WHILST MODERATELY TOUCHED BY TED'S DISPLAY, ALSO DECIDED HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO TAKE OVER THIS CITY WHILST TED WATCHED HIS SOAP OPERAS.

"TED, YOU... OKAY!" SAID WILLIAM, LEANING FORWARD AND ACCIDENTALLY HITTING THE FORWARD BUTTON, CRUSHING MR. CRAB WHO HAD BEEN STANDING IN FRONT OF IT NOT BEING CAREFUL.

"N..."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" SCREAMED KILLYOU, RUNNING TOWARDS THE TRAGEDY.

"ER, WHOOPS" SAID WILLIAM, BACKING UP.

"MR CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB" CRIED KILLYOU, PICKING UP THE BROKEN PIECES OF SHELL AND MEAT AND SMUSHING THEM AGAINST HIS FACE. "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THIS ISN'T HAP-PEN-NINNNNGGGAUUGGHH HUHUHUBAWWWWWWWWWWWW"

YOUSAY PUT HIS ARM AROUND KILLYOU. AS MUCH AS HIS FEELINGS HAD OR HAD NOT CHANGED FOR HIM, HE COULD NOT BEAR TO SEE HIS KIND OF EX MAYBE NOT WHO KNOWS SPECIAL FRIEND SO UPSET. KILLYOU BURIED HIS HEAD, ALONG WITH MR CRAB'S MUSHY REMAINS, INTO YOUSAY'S CHEST AND BAWWED LIKE A CHILD. IT WAS RATHER DISGUSTING BUT AKI SECRETLY FOUND IT OKAY.

SHE FOUND IT OKAY.