VI

"Hi. This is Blake Reid and James Franco, and we're sitting in James Franco's house, in his library. We've been stuck here for twenty-four hours. Yes, me. I have been stuck with these weenies for a whole day. In a fortress. As the only woman. Save me. Help me."

"You're such a drama queen. We aren't that bad. You fucking love us. Especially me."

I looked away from the video camera and turned to look at James, who sat next to me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

I was wearing one of James's baggy flannels with a Freaks and Geeks tank top underneath it and my high-waisted denim shorts. My clothes that James had lent be before were soaked in the guy's blood, the one who got his head chopped off. James grinned at me. The two of us were doing the video confessional together, to vent about everyone in the house. I smirked back at him, and laughed.

"Oh yes, Green Goblin. You've found me out. I confess my love to you, Harry Osborn."

I rolled my eyes. James laughed and slung an arm around me, kissing my left temple. I think I turned fifty shades of red, my face burning red hot. I internally swooned. Luckily, he turned back to look at the video camera.

"Danny McBride is here." James sighed heavily, "I mean, um, I didn't even invite him to my party."

"Which you should've." I muttered quietly.

James rolled his eyes, "He came anyway and passed out in my bathtub. Again. I mean, I gotta say, it's typical fucking McBride, you know? Like, we've been feeling really weird about him lately..."

"It's regular Danny behavior," I protested to the camera, chiming in, the two of us talking to the camera as if it was going to talk back. "He's a natural fuckwad. I don't really think he's getting that bad. It was worse when we filmed Pineapple Express with him, remember?"

Danny McBride was a psychopath during the filming of that movie. The only sane thing he did was break up one of the many fights between James and I. The other things were insane. He messed up every line, causing about an hour blooper reel, he was wasted at the premiere and tried to jump on my back for a piggyback ride, and stuck two blunts up his nose while filming because he was so high. He also ate all the food for the cast and crew, and shit in James's trailer. Then mine. And he peed in Craig's.

"Seriously, Blake? You don't think he's being a douche?" James asked.

I pondered the thought, tapping my chin. I sighed, "Okay, maybe a little. A little bit."

James turned back to the camera, "I've been feeling really weird about him lately…and I don't know if I want to be friends with him. I mean, he fucking showed up at my party and now we're stuck here with him in disaster lockdown."

I looked at James, jerking my thumb at him. "And I'm the drama queen? Look who's princess of the party over here."

"He slept in my bathtub and got pee all over my floor," James pointed out, "I think I have a reason to be a drama queen."

Before I could respond, there was a knock on the door. James and I swirled around in unison, only to see Danny standing in the doorway. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. How long had he been standing there? Did he know what James and I were talking about? Did he hear us shit-talk him?

"Whaddup?" James grinned at him, as if he hadn't been gossiping.

"Hey, what's goin' on?" Danny asked suspiciously, but with a friendly tone to his voice, "What are you doin'? What is this?"

"Oh, it's just, uh…" James began.

"A video confessional." I finished for him.

Danny nodded and walked away, walking back down the hall. James looked at me knowingly, and we waited until he was down the hall and out of earshot.

"I think he heard us." I commented.

James swirled back around and snapped at the camera, "Fuck that dude."

I sat at the dinner table with my rag-tag group of imbeciles...I mean friends. I sat in between James and Jay, Danny and Seth across from me. Jonah sat beside Seth and Craig sat beside Jay. James and Seth were discussing tsunamis and earthquakes, Jay was reading through the Bible, and I was draining my glass of red wine without hesitation.

"I mean, for all we know the fuckin' Lakers could have just one and that's why this shit is happening." Danny said.

"Or Justin Beiber's topped the iTunes top 100." I muttered, putting my wine glass down, "And that's why hell is breaking loose."

"In Franco's front yard, a sinkhole. Whenever I see one of those on TV, a bunch of South Americans getting sucked into the ground." Seth explained.

"Sinkhole de Mayo." Jonah proposed.

"Oh, Jesus." I rolled my eyes, "I think you guys are way off base here."

"It's not earthquakes, or wildfires, it's not sinkholes, I think I know what it is." Jay propositioned, "I think it's the apocalypse."

There was silence at the dinner table. I arched an eyebrow, and exchanged looks with James, Seth and Danny, then I looked to Jay.

Danny laughed, and there were murmurs among the boys of disbelief. Jay held up a leather-bound Bible. Jay cleared his throat, "I'm serious boys, and Blake. It's all in here. In the book of Revelations. Just hear me out, and you tell me what I'm describing doesn't sound like what's going on right now."

Jay opened the Bible and began reading, "'And the sky shall open up, and the light of the Lord shall shine down and those of good heart shall be brought into my kingdom of Heaven'. That's the Rapture, those are the gigantic beams of light. 'And there will be a great mountain burning in fire'. I mean, the Hollywood Hills are literally engulfed in flames as we sit here right now!"

"The Hollywood Hills ain't no mountain. It's a hill." Craig pointed out.

"I'm going to have to agree on that one with Craig," I commented, "I live there and it's just a hill, Jay."

"Can I just finish? 'And out of the pit rose a great red dragon having seven heads was released'." Jay read, and showed us a picture of a demon-looking creature.

"I know that dude," Craig said, "He's from Where The Wild Things Are."

James sat there, unimpressed, his arms crossed. I knew that look. It was the signature Franco brothers' you annoy me look. I'd seen it on both Dave and James before. I remembered James gave me that look back when we first met while we were filming Freaks and Geeks. I'd from then on, whenever we were mad at each other, I'd mimic him and give him the same look. He'd give me the look back, then our anger would break and we'd be good again.

"That's a load of bullshit," James said icily, his voice laced with venom.

"It's not bullshit!" Jay replied.

James narrowed his eyes, "You wanna know something else, Jay? If this is the end of the world and all the good people died, what you're saying is that Seth, Jonah Craig, Danny, me and Blake are a bunch of assholes."

James was in that strict, fatherly-like zone he got into when someone really pissed him off. I'd only seen him this ticked when he found out I tried prescription pills and alcohol together one night at a party at my house after the Tropic Thunder premiere in Los Angeles. My house isn't that big, and there were about fifty people in there, blaring Miley Cyrus songs. I remembered that night in bits, but I remembered how terrible I felt, the throbbing headache, and the nausea.

To my homegirls here with the big butt
Shakin' it like we're in a strip club
Remember only God can judge ya, forget the haters, 'cause somebody loves ya
And everyone in line in the bathroom, trying to get a line in the bathroom
We all so turned up here, getting turned up, yeah, yeah...

So la da di da di, we like to party
Dancing with Molly, doing whatever we want...

James had gotten to my house late and was the only sober one there. He'd gotten pissed at Seth and Danny for not keeping a sharper eye out and taking care of me, but they were so hosed that they couldn't see straight, so I didn't blame them. I remembered the look on his face when he found me sitting on the couch with a few friends and other celebrities, empty Smirnoff bottles all around me and a half-empty prescription pill bottle on my lap. Pure worry and anger flashed across his face. James had gotten really upset with me, and told everyone that the party was over and he'd kicked everyone out of my house.

Me, being the drunken mess that I was, had yelled at him, slurring my speech, for 'ruining the party', and then I'd puked my brains out.

James and I and the boys did a lot of stuff, but James knew that mixing pills and alcohol was unacceptable.

Thank God he was there, because he helped me puke up the pills I'd taken that could've been the end of me. In spite of me and James's banter and teasing, I would always remain grateful to him for being there to hold my hair back while I puked, and put me to bed and stayed awake all night with me to make sure I didn't puke in my sleep.

James really did look out for me, even when I didn't realize it. I looked over at him and gave him a small smile. God, I was crazy about that freak.

"I'm straight up lovable, son." Craig defended himself.

"And if this really is the Apocalypse," James said, glaring at Jay with something I sensed was contempt, "You're here too. So, that just means you're as shitty as the rest of us. Doesn't feel too good, does it?"

We went to bed early, tempers running a bit high in the Franco Fortress. I was jumping into bed with James when I heard Danny shout down the hall from his bathtub bedroom, "Hey guys, I'm going to bed now. No one come in here and barge in on me."

"Sweet. Danny's beating the meat in the bathroom." I mumbled, gathering myself in the warm covers like a cinnamon roll. I sighed, comfortable and exhausted.

James rolled around and got comfortable, draping an arm around me.

"Do you really think this is the end?" I asked him in the dark, "You know, the Apocalypse?"

"No," James replied, but he didn't sound sure at all, "No, it isn't. You're not worrying about that, are you?"

" A little," I admitted.

"Don't. Relax, and sleep. Jay doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, Blake." James said, "Don't worry about it, okay?"

He kissed the top of my head. My heart throbbed in my chest, and I could feel the familiar burning of a blush on my cheeks. I was grateful it was dark in the bedroom so he couldn't see my face turning redder than a fucking strawberry.

"Okay." I exhaled, leaning my head on James's shoulder.

"Night." He said, pulling me close so we were spooning. I held onto his arm that held me for comfort.

As he drifted off to sleep, I stayed awake, staring up in the dark at the ceiling. I thought about what Jay had said, and reevaluated things in my life. Why wasn't I more successful? Why was I so awkward? Why was this happening?

Most importantly, when was I going to grow the ovaries to tell James how I felt?

I had been crushing hardcore on the guy for years, since I was a freshman in high school. I loved him, and I loved teasing him. After all this time, I was still into him and I loved it. But what if he didn't feel the same? James was always taking out other girls, but they never lasted. He and I went on dates to movie premieres or the Golden Globes and Oscars together, but I assumed they were platonic.

Seth knew how I felt, even if I wouldn't admit it. All the boys did. Seth loved to rub it in, too, and Danny was his partner-in-crime.

I remembered Seth saying that James and I were like "Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio; everyone wants them to be together, and they know it too, but they're too fucking stupid to act on it and another person comes in and fucks it up". Seth's words, not mine.

Danny thought I was a pussy for not acting on it. He'd roll his eyes and say in his aggressive tone, "He clearly likes you. You clearly like him. So what the fuck is so hard about this? Oh, yeah. You're too much of a pussy to act on it. And so is Franco. You guys banged three times already, that should be clear that you guys want to be together. Christ, you two are complicated little shits. You bother me."

Danny was right. The two out of three times that James and I had had sex we were drunk; once in one of the Kodak Theater's bathroom stalls during the Golden Globes, another at one of Seth's house parties. We'd snuck away and into the bathroom, this time fucking in the shower. The only sober time we'd ever had sex was when I went to visit Mindy Kaling on the set of The Mindy Project, and James was co-starring for a few episodes.

It was a few days after my little overdose close-call, and James was still ticked off at me for doing it. I had taken him to the side and was trying to talk to him to apologize. He hugged me and told me he was only worried, that he really cared about me and that I'd scared him. Our talk ended surprisingly in a kiss, which then had emerged into sex against the wall in a secluded part of the studio so no one could see. He was playing a doctor on The Mindy Project, so I didn't mind.

I remembered when I'd told Seth, he'd punched me in the arm and did his ugly Seth laugh. He gasped, "You guys fucked? Sober? Finally! It sounds like scene from a porno. I gotta tell Danny and Jonah. And Craig. Oh My God, they're gonna die."

"I didn't even…it just happened!" I squeaked, my face red, "I think it was the pent-up tension and anger between us, I…I don't know."

"Hah! You guys had angry sex. It was like a porno." Seth chortled, throwing back his head with a laugh as he dialed the boys' numbers to tell them.

From then on, James and I had gotten much, much closer. I think both of us were afraid to confront each other about the sexual relationship we had, in fear the other wouldn't feel the same. So we were platonic, really close friends with benefits, if that makes sense. James and I were a fucked up coupling, and I loved it.

Now all I had to do was get through the apocalypse with this rag-tag group that I called my friends.

Nevertheless, telling James how I really felt about him seemed a lot more scarier than the Apocalypse.

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