Emily glances at the text one more time before pocketing her phone and heading towards the records room.
She is still feeling raw after the fight she and Micah had in her office this morning. In fact, the only thing tempering the lingering burn of the hurtful things Micah said is the shame she feels at the memory of the insults she had flung back at him. While it had all started as a fairly straight-forward disagreement about a patient's treatment plan, the conversation had escalated to a full-on yelling match in an alarmingly short amount of time. In retrospect, Emily knows they were mostly just taking their stresses from the week out on each other. They were both worried and short on sleep since Joyce was back in the hospital because of a fever, and to make matters worse, Micah had lost a patient on the table yesterday. Because of this, Emily hadn't bothered to tell him about her conversation with Gina Bandari in which the older woman had accused Emily of playing it safe with treatment options and leaning too heavily on Micah's opinion in her decisions. The resulting culmination of these events had added a significant amount of sensitivity to an argument already hampered by frayed emotions and worn patience.
It's possible everything would have been fine if Emily, still smarting from the conversation with her mentor, hadn't decided during their disagreement to parrot Gina's implication that Micah tended to be too conservative in his medical work. Micah, red faced and insulted, had pulled rank at that point, reminding Dr. Owens that she was still inexperienced. Emily had thrown back at Micah that she had Gina's support. Micah had responded with a reminder that he had influence over her evaluations. Emily had therefore labeled him "controlling"; Micah had countered with "manipulative"; Emily had come back with "selfish"; and that was all the opening Micah had needed to begin loudly and vehemently chastising Emily again for her night with Will.
There hadn't been much left to say after that besides some final name calling. In the end, Micah had walked out on her, leaving Emily to cry alone at her desk until she could no longer ignore her pager. The rest of the day had consisted of avoiding each other in the halls of the hospital while simultaneously trying to ignore the glances from their colleagues that indicated the confrontation hadn't actually been as private as either of them had thought at the time.
Once in the records room, Emily finds Micah lying on his back and staring at the ceiling in "their" spot. She doesn't say anything, simply choosing instead to lie on the floor beside him.
"I'm so sorry about all the things I said this morning." he says quietly when she is settled, turning to look at her as he takes her hand. "You are the most compassionate, conscientious, professional doctor I know, and I can't believe I let you think otherwise."
"I'm sorry about the things I said to you, too" murmurs Emily, meeting his gaze and giving his hand a squeeze. "I like that you think about what's best for your patients and consider consequences carefully. Only…I didn't tell you that Gina Bandari blamed me yesterday for relying too heavily on your opinions and not taking enough risks."
"What?" exclaims Micah, the color in his face rising.
"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to add to your stress" Emily admits guiltily. "But it really got to me. Maybe if I'd just told you, this morning wouldn't even have happened."
Micah sighs heavily and shakes his head. "I will never understand that woman."
The pair remains silent for a moment before Micah shifts nervously and clears his throat. It takes him two tries to get the words out as he continues to hold her gaze. "Emily, I …. I'm also sorry for bringing up Will again. I've realized that I keep bringing it up even after I said I forgave you. I know that's not fair."
"Have you really forgiven me?" Emily squeaks out, suddenly unsure of where the conversation is going.
Micah rolls over onto his side and props his head on his hand to look at her. "Yes." He says with complete conviction. "Yes…but it doesn't seem to stop me from getting irrationally jealous every time I even think of the two of you spending time together. These days I usually feel like my life is spinning out of control and the only thing keeping me together is you." He hesitates a moment before continuing. "I really am going to try to stop bringing it up though. It's just…the thought of losing you is just…." Micah lets the sentence trail off, suddenly unable to find the right words.
Emily rolls up onto her side, mirroring Micah's position so they are face to face. "You do know that he still isn't speaking to me, right? He says he lost Cassandra because of me, and then I rejected him so I could be with you. He's still pretty hurt. Most days I come in hoping that I won't have to go through the awkwardness of actually working with him."
Micah smiles and chuckles guiltily. "Am I an awful person if I admit that actually makes me feel a little better?"
Emily lets her eyes drift from his gaze momentarily as she reaches a hand out to smooth the slight wrinkle at the collar of his scrubs. When she looks at him again, her eyes are soft and her voice tinged with emotion. "I worry. When you bring up Will, I worry that you haven't really forgiven me and that that one bad decision is still going to make you change your mind one day. I don't want to lose you either."
Instead of responding with words, Micah pulls her closer and kisses her. As she wraps an arm around his neck and lets her fingers tangle in his hair, Emily thinks it feels decidedly like the beginning of making up.