run, i'm a natural disaster
30. Light
Hohenheim is not, perhaps, the best of parents one could possibly have drawn in the lottery of life, and he himself admits that. It was always Trisha who wanted children, always her who could comfort them, chastise them and make them smile. That isn't to say he doesn't love them, on the contrary he is willing to move mountains for them, but he is a man centuries too old, who simply cannot comprehend the oddness that is new life because he has been so caught up in his never-ending one. It takes him by surprise that Alphonse has grown up (but not flesh and blood, cold metal, vintage amour, his son has been taken from him, too young, too soon), but he can cope. Alphonse is intelligent and a good conversationalist. But he wants to see his eldest too, see how he has changed and what he has changed to. It is an odd desire, Hohenheim thinks, but one that he feels strongly.
So he goes and he walks and then, as if by fate, Ed is there. Without any warning. And he's wearing a dress, oddly reminiscent of the woman he was apprenticed to. After being punched in the face by a metallic arm, he re-adjusts his glasses and sees what he was almost deliberately missing.
"You're a girl, Edward? How did that happen? I seem to remember you being distinctly male when I left."
"Yeah, well, you left over ten years ago, you bastard. You're bound to miss some stuff."
A large dark-skinned man places a palm to his forehead, and the one with glasses sighs. "It happened approximately seven months ago. It was an alchemy accident."
"And she's all girl." A man slinks behind Edward and puts his arms around her shoulders. "Nice punch, kitten."
"I will rip out your intestines and feed them to you if you start squeezing me," Edward warns, and Hohenheim is a little surprised. He'd always had Ed pegged for Pinako's granddaughter, not another male. Though, now that he wasn't male, that would get rid of lots of problems and a bucket-load of prejudice. And Trisha had always wanted a girl.
Hohenheim resolves to deal with his daughter after the promised day (if they survive). As well as the snarky young homunculus that was hanging around of her like a particularly troublesome insect. Fatherly instincts seemed to come a lot more naturally with a daughter. Even if it was one like Ed.
A.N: but ed needs none of hohenheim's shit and greed is just antagonising people for fun
imagine darius and heinkel facepalming in the background