"It was the night after you guys left, and I thought it was someone that Victoria had hired, but it turned out to be a misguided act of someone else."

"Did he..."

"No. It stopped before that."

"Brooke, I'm so sorry..."

It was in that instant that a wave of emotions hit her, a wave that had been waiting to break since the second that she saw her best friend at the counter of the store. The fear she had of everything coming back to the surface was reigning true, and she knew it was going to end badly.

"No... you don't get to say that you're sorry Peyton." she said in a calm voice through clenched teeth.

Peyton was confused by the sudden onslaught of anger that shone in Brooke's eyes as she stood up and threw daggers with her words.

"I could barely walk. Nathan and Haley had to take care of me for weeks because I wouldn't leave the house! Jamie wouldn't come near me for a month because he was afraid of the bruises, and then after I had a panic attack and almost hurt Haley he screamed that he hated me and wouldn't speak to me for another month. I locked them out. I was depressed... Then when Quentin died..."

"Fields?" Peyton said, recognizing the name from the many conversations with Haley she had right before they left, and the few run ins with Lucas when he was coaching the team.

"Shot during a gas station robbery. It was funny though, because I pulled a gun on Victoria because I thought she did this... when it was the same man who shot Quentin that did this to me." she said in a voice that seemed eerily distant.

"Brooke, I don't know what..."

"Don't say anything... just tell me why... do you have any idea what the hell went down here Peyton?"

"How did we get back to this, Brooke? We were just having a normal conversation, and now you're biting my head off!! And no... I don't know what went on here, because NO ONE WILL TELL US!!! You guys are all avoiding Lucas and I like we are the most horrible people in the world! We needed time... and now you are screaming at me because..."

"Don't you dare try to play the victim here Peyton!"

"Do you think that what went on with Lucas and I was all perfect? Do you think that we just left and everything magically fell into place the second we decided to finally be with each other? Well, it wasn't Brooke... okay... shit happened to us too. How the hell are we supposed to work through any of it if we don't talk about it?"

"It was too soon, Peyton."

"I can see that now...I'm going to go."

When she arrived home she found her husband sitting quietly on the couch with his first novel opened in his hand. He sensed her immediately as he always did, and didn't turn as she walked in and sat down next to him.

"How did we change so much? How did we go from these people to what we are now?" he says, shaking the book in his hands for emphasis.

She didn't say anything, but put a hand to her stomach, let out a sigh and rested her head on his shoulder, reading over the words that were on the page.

High School is only four years, but I can say that those four years can change you. In each of my friends I found a different piece of me. In Peyton I found the ability to really love someone. In Haley I found the strength to get through everything. In Nathan, the brother that at one time I hated, I found the feeling that comes from having a family to count on. In Brooke, I saw the ability to change for the better, because she made me become a better person.

It was the past two years that have changed me the most, getting to know these people that matter to me more than anything. They have certainly changed me for the better. I make it my life's work to make sure they know that every day.

"I failed them... even you..."

Peyton takes the book from his hands, and rests it back on the coffee table, sitting up and turning to face him.

"Lucas you did not fail them. We are going to fix this, and we are going to make up for this. They know deep down, that we never meant to hurt them when we left. And as far as I'm concerned, you could never fail me Luke... never."

"Peyton, I left you in a hotel room in Los Angeles after you told me you wanted to wait to get married. I convinced myself that you were saying no..."

"Baby, I forgave you for that a long time ago, and now we are here. Don't you dare think that I hold what happened against you still. We need to hold on to what we have now, and we need to help them realize that we are here. They are the reason we came back Luke. You told me that there was no other way you would want this baby to grow up, and I agreed with you one hundred percent."

"What if it doesn't turn out the way we hoped?"

"It has to." she says, rubbing circles against the kicks she was feeling.

"Did you talk to Brooke?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Did you talk to Nathan?"

"Sort of...we just need to keep talking, I guess."

"Yeah..."

"I'm going to get some dinner started... do you want to help?" he asks, getting up and starting towards the kitchen.

"I need a minute." she says, looking up and only meeting his eyes for a second.

"Peyton..."

"It was just an emotional conversation, I'm fine."

"You need to lay down for a few hours. I'll wait on dinner."

"No, Luke, it's okay, I just..."

"With everything that happened today, I can't do this Peyton." he says, shaking his head.

"I'll rest for an hour and see how it goes."

He looks at her with a skeptical glance, but kisses the top of her head and leaves her in the living room. He knew that another fight about this wasn't going to do either of them any good.

After their dinner, she read in bed as he worked on his latest novel. Her gasp didn't go unnoticed by him and he was up and by her side before she could call him over. "What is it?"

"Nothing, it doesn't hurt, so it's fine."

"I want you to go in tomorrow."

"All of the records haven't been shipped out yet, and you're leaving for the day, so I'm not going." she says, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting just a bit like a two year old.

"Peyton, those are both stupid excuses, and I can cancel my trip up there, it is just to talk about the next book, and that's not even done yet."

"No, Luke, you need to go."

"Then you'll make an appointment with the man that Dr. Kennedy recommended?"

"If it will get you off my back, then yes." she says, a little angrier than she intended it to be.

He goes over to his laptop, closing it quickly and turning of their bedside lamps. Crawling in bed with her, he sighs as she turns into him and lays her head on his chest.

"We aren't going to be doing this much longer, cause that kid is starting to get big." he says, chuckling a bit at the sight they must be.

"Please don't remind me how fat I'm getting."

"Peyton, when you turn around, you look the same as the day I met you. It is all baby, and the second you pop that kid out, you'll be back in your skinny jeans, so don't worry."

"yeah, from your mouth to God's ears."

"I sure hope so..."

"Luke..."

"Bed Peyton, we need sleep."

The next morning came and went in a rush, and by the time she had woken up Lucas had already set up a doctor's appointment for her, gotten his stuff all packed for the day and taken a shower. When she walked into the kitchen he had breakfast ready and a smile on his face.

"The smile needs to go." she says, still feeling sleepy after the long day she had.

"I can't help it. I'm a happy man. A beautiful wife, a baby on the way, and a third novel almost ready to go."

"Yeah, well I've got a kid sitting on my bladder, I can't fit into the last pair of maternity pants that I bought, and I'm not allowed to have caffeine, so shut up."

"Well well well... someone is cranky."

As she sat down, she looked up at her grinning husband, and couldn't help but crack a small smile in return. "I'm sorry, I just hate the days that you have to go to New York, and you don't seem to be phased by it at all."

"Oh I am, but I know that I'm going to talk to you on the phone almost the whole way there, and I know that you are going to call me the second you are done at the doctor's office, and I know that I'll be back tonight."

"Are you sure you aren't just excited to go see Lindsay?" she asks, not meeting his eyes, and hearing the stupid insecurity in her own voice as she speaks the words out loud.

"Peyton, you can't be serious..."

"Forgive my hormones... I know that you'd rather be here with me."

"Yes, I would," he says glancing at his watch, "but the shuttle leaves in just a little bit, so I've got to jet out of here. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm tired, but I'm good. How about I just call you after the doctor and then I talk to you all the way home tonight?"

"Sounds good... I will see you two later."

With a kiss to his wife and a rub to her ever-expanding stomach, Lucas was out the door and Peyton was left in the silence of their home.

It was in these moments that she always took stock of everything that she had. She was doing well with the label, her and Lucas were finally her and Lucas, and her happiest accomplishment was safely inside her. Her little girl.

Anna Elizabeth Scott was the name she already had picked out for a girl, and what Lucas didn't know was that she had already found out the surprise. They said that they weren't going to find out, but when issues started coming up, she pulled the doctor aside to find out what the little Scott would be. She wanted to be prepared for anything.

A short hour later, she was out the door and on the way to the hospital.

It had been a long time since she had been in the hospital at Tree Hill, but the place held plenty of memories for her. As she stood at the directory trying to find where she needed to go, a familiar figure walked by, causing her to do a double take of sorts.

"Haley?" she asks to the woman who seemed to be frantically running in the door.

Haley turned and instantly, Peyton's face fell. It wasn't the Haley that she knew, sweet smiles and sparkling brown eyes. Her face was pale, her eyes tired, and there wasn't a smile to be seen.

With a look to Peyton and a glance at her stomach, all she could do was run, hoping to make it to the bathroom before the breakfast she had this morning came back at her.

All she could think of was the last time she was in this position, losing the contents of her stomach as she cried out to whoever could listen.

–

While They Were Away

–

"Haley?" Nathan said, knocking on the bathroom door.

After getting no answer from his wife, and hearing nothing but quiet, he gently pushed open the door to a sight he had never seen. She was broken in more ways than one, and he didn't know what to do.

"I can't do this Nathan... I can't"

"Hales it is fine... he's going to be okay, and we're going to get through this, okay?"

"I think I'm pregnant." she blurts out, before quickly turning to continue the emptying of her stomach.

All he could do was hold her hair back, and then when there was nothing left to come out, he sat with her as she cried for everything that was happening to them all at once.

"I thought that it was stress making me late, and then I just pushed the thought aside, but I'm pretty sure that I can't make an excuse for this."

"I know that it is hard right now, but we can do this. Maybe this baby is something that will help us along the way... you know?"

"Nathan, I can't think about another child when Jamie is..."

"I know, but you have to take care of yourself or you aren't any good to either of them." he says, pushing the hair out of her face and stroking the side of her cheek gently. "Now get ready, and we'll make a pit stop on the way back from the hospital. Maybe it is just stress."

"And if it isn't?" she asked as tears threaten to spill again.

"Hey, Always and Forever, right? No matter what, we'll make it...I promise."

She nods before slipping of her robe and starting the shower.

Confident that she would be okay for a little while by herself, Nathan found himself rummaging through his pants pocket from the day before. Finally, he gripped what he was searching for and dialed the familiar number that hadn't gotten much recent use.

Of course, all he got was voicemail...

"Dammit Lucas, you need to pick up your phone. Get back from wherever the hell the two of you are and start being there for your family. Haley needs you and I can't get through this shit without you. So get your head out of your ass and come home before you don't have anyone or anything to come back to."

He didn't even bother closing the phone, but opted to throw it against the kitchen wall instead, shattering it to a million pieces.

–

Present Day

–

"Haley, are you..." Peyton asks, finally stepping behind her in the bathroom.

"Don't." she says, without turning, "don't talk to me. I can't face it Peyton, I can't face you right now. It's too hard for so many reasons."

"There's obviously something wrong Haley, can I help you?"

She turns then, her eyes lighting up with a fire Peyton had never seen before, "Can you help me... ? You ask me that now?!"

"Haley, we never meant to hurt you guys, you have to know that."

"I do know that, but the fact remains that you did Peyton. You and Luke left with a note and then dropped off the planet... and you want to help?"

All the women could do was stand there and stare at each other. Peyton's eyes held nothing but guilt and regret, and Peyton feared what she saw in the tired eyes of the woman she once knew.

"I hate you. You left us. You took Luke. Then you come back here, the two of you, as happy as can be, not realizing that we went through hell while you were gone. You can't take that back Peyton. You can never take that back."

"Haley James Scott, you are one of the strongest women that I know, and one of the best friend's that I've had. We never meant to hurt you, but we are here now. Whatever you are going through right now, we are here for you. Please let us back in. Whatever you can't face. We need you now just as much as you needed us then."

She couldn't reply to that, but stood and walked away, leaving Peyton to just process and try to figure out what could change someone so much.

–

Okay, so I realize that piecing everything together so slowly is about to kill you all, but as I'm reading my favorite fics, I'm realizing that is what I like most about them. They don't jump right into it, you know?

So, yeah... any thoughts on what I'm doing? I have also decided that the flashbacks aren't going to be in chronological order... but you'll eventually get it all. If I forget to fill in a gap, let me know!

I hope you're enjoying it!

And if you haven't checked it out, you NEED to go over to Southern Gothic Productions to check out Hilarie Burton and Kelly Tenney's production company.

southerngothicproductions .blogspot .com

and BUY A T-SHIRT!!!!