This was never going to fit into a drabble and I was so happy with it I am leaving it in the grey region between a quadruple-drabble and a penta(quin)-drabble (I can't think of which one to use. I am procrastinating so hard on this assignment...
/ / / Male Dwarves Can Do What? \ \ \
"There is something I feel you should know," Thorin said one night in front of the fire. "There are very few dwarfish women."
"I know," Bilbo said carefully watching Thorin who looked uncomfortable.
"Because of this male dwarves are different to any other male being in Middle Earth."
Bilbo tried to look comforting as he attempted to work out what Thorin was trying to tell him.
"Not all male dwarves can do it but we are all capable, luckily female dwarves are still very fertile and each one provides many dwarflings for the continuation of our species."
Bilbo nodded but Thorin looked for a moment like he was not going to continue, as though Bilbo should understand, and then he sighed and grimaced.
"We have our cocks of course," Bilbo blushed for a moment because he was well aware of that though Thorin had always been reluctant to do too much in the bedroom. "And we have the place where you would welcome me," Thorin took his turn to blush and Bilbo could see the want on his features but then he shook it away. "Male dwarves also have another…a place, a…we have another place, a hidden place, where we can conceive and bear dwarflings though not all male dwarves have been able to do so."
Bilbo sat back and stared at Thorin dumbly for a moment…then for a long time while he tried to wrap his mind around a pregnant male…anything.
"This is why you haven't allowed us to do anything more than use our hands?" Bilbo asked finally, Thorin was pale and staring at him.
Thorin nodded. "We do not tell anyone our secrets and this is one of our most sacred secrets but if you and I are to have sex I wanted you to know what could happen."
"You mean there is a possibility we could have a baby?" Bilbo asked, a smile creeping in.
"I do not know. It is doubtful as only about two-thirds of the dwarves who have tried have ever succeeded."
"Have you ever tried?" Bilbo asked jealousy flaring hot and strong in his stomach.
"I have never allowed anyone to take me in that fashion, no dwarf would unless they were bonded to their partner," Thorin said haughtily and Bilbo couldn't help but smile.
Bilbo wasn't sure he quite knew what to make of this information but the idea that Thorin had told him about this secret made him feel warm and wish for nothing more than to kiss Thorin and ask the dwarf to take him to bed – so he did.
/ / /
Yeah, I lasted a day...