I will be writing an epilogue for this story and that will be the end of it. I am so grateful to everyone who has liked and followed both me and my story. I hope you like my ending. As always, all comments are welcomed.
Chapter 13:
Beckett and Castle gave each other a mournful look before the elevator doors opened. They stepped into the hospital waiting room and saw Esposito sitting with his head in his hands. They walked over to him and Beckett rested her hand on his shoulder.
"Javi?" Esposito slowly raised his head and Beckett saw the tear stains on his face. "Javi, where is Lanie?" She asked sitting next to him. Castle leaned against the wall giving them space.
"She had to go back to work. The whole world can't come to a screeching halt just because…" He jumped up in his anger.
"Espo, calm down," Castle stepped in and stopped Esposito in his tracks. "Everything is going to be ok, we will get past this." Esposito shoved Castle's hands off his shoulders with a scowl but he did sit back down.
"Espo, what did the doctor say?" Beckett asked, laying her hand on his knee in comfort. Esposito sank back in his chair and rubbed his face.
"The doctor kept babbling medical shit so Lanie talked to him. All I know is that Kevin has been in surgery since they brought him in…." He checked the time on his watch and groaned. "He's been in surgery for over four hours."
"How long did they say the surgery would last?" Castle asked worried.
"I don't know. Lanie said that the bullet did more damage than they had originally thought so it could take longer than they anticipated." He slumped over again and put his head back in his hands before the tears could fall again.
"Oh, Javi, it'll be ok. He will pull through." Beckett rubbed his back and looked at Castle with sad eyes.
"I can't lose him, Kate. He's all I've got." Esposito's words were muffled by his hands but both Castle and Beckett understood what he said.
"Javi, you aren't going to lose him. Kevin Ryan is a fighter and he will pull through. We all love him and he loves us. We will get through this together." Beckett said forcefully to make sure Esposito heard her. He nodded his head in acknowledgement. He rubbed his face once more. He took a deep breath and ran his hands up and down his thighs.
"Ok, I can't keep doing this. I need a distraction. Have you looked into what the hell Billy Track was doing with a badge?" He turned to Beckett, his eyes pleading for her to help him. Beckett glanced at Castle then turned her gaze back to Esposito.
"Well, apparently we stepped into it pretty bad. We spoke to the Captain about it and he barely had any details. What he did know is that Jeffery Madsen, aka Billy track, was so deep undercover that most people forgot about him. However, whatever it was that he was supposed to do, he was doing it very well."
"Did he know?" Esposito suddenly, interrupting her.
"Did who know what?" Beckett asked, the confusion clear on her face. Esposito stood up and began to pace.
"Did Ryan know that Track was a cop? Did Taylor? Is that why he shot him? Is all of this," He gesticulated at the hospital around him. "Is it all because an undercover cop blew his cover? That's my partner, fighting for his life in some operating room all because someone screwed up." Esposito yelled. He was completely livid as he started pacing back and forth again.
"Espo you need to calm down. We don't know what happened to cause Ryan to get shot. Nobody has heard from Madsen's handler so we can't be sure what happened." Beckett was the one to stop Esposito's pacing this time.
"Everybody is trying to figure out who Track, Madsen, whatever his name is, was reporting to, if he was reporting in at all." Castle interjected. "We have to wait until Ryan wakes up to find out what he knows."
Esposito calmed down and nodded his head. The shrill sound of Beckett's phone interrupted the tense silence. Beckett turned around to answer it. She listened for a minute before hanging up.
"Castle, we have to go. Lanie has a body that might actually be a case. Javi, are you going to be okay here?" Beckett asked sincerely. She was worried about her friend and there was nothing she could do for him.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just let me know if you need any help." He grabbed her and pulled her into a forceful hug. He whispered into her hear, "Thank you, Kate."
"Of course, you call me when he gets out of surgery." Beckett hugged him back. They all said their goodbyes and Castle and Beckett headed back to the station.
Esposito stood in the middle of the hallway and watched them leave. As soon as the elevator doors closed Esposito's shoulders dropped and he let another tear slide down his cheek. He sat down heavily in the chair to wait for the love of his life.
"I'm worried about him." Beckett said as she and Castle walked out of the elevator into the bullpen.
"He's upset. He just watched his partner being shot. I don't know what I would do if it had been you." Castle responded sitting down in his chair. Beckett turned her head to prevent him from seeing her smile.
"Glad to know you care." She smirked. She picked up the file on the John Doe that Lanie had in the morgue. Castle was looking at his phone as two uniformed cops walked by whispering. Neither Beckett nor Castle heard what they were saying but Beckett could have sworn she heard Esposito's name.
"Beckett, my office now. You too, Castle." Captain Montgomery hollered at them. Beckett and Castle shared a look before heading to the Captain's office.
"What's going on Captain?" Beckett asked as she closed the door behind her.
"Sit down, both of you. How's Kevin doing?" Montgomery asked.
"He's still in surgery. Esposito is at the hospital waiting on news." Beckett responded.
"That's good." Montgomery took a deep breath before continuing, "Have either of you heard the rumors going around about Esposito?" The grim look on his face told Beckett and Castle that this was very serious.
They shared a look before Beckett answered, "No sir, what rumors?"
"One of the men sent in as back up at the club is saying that Esposito said some very personal things to Ryan." The color quickly drained from both Beckett and Castle's faces. Montgomery hung his head in realization.
"You both know, don't you? How long have they been together?"
"We couldn't say Captain. For one thing I don't know and it's also not our place to say." Beckett answered.
"Beckett, you know the rules here. People have already started to make noise about it." Montgomery stated.
"What are you going to do?" Castle questioned.
"I don't know. Technically it's just speculation but like I said people are already making this a big deal." Montgomery answered, rubbing his face.
"Captain, Ryan is fighting for his life right now and Esposito is beyond scared. Whatever you have to do, you need to wait until everything is better for them." Beckett pleaded. Montgomery looked into her pleading eyes and nodded.
Javier Esposito waited in the hospital waiting room the entire 13 hours that Kevin Ryan was in surgery. People drifted in and out saying how sorry they were and telling him that everything was going to be ok. Lanie handled all the talk with the doctors while Beckett and Castle tried to distract him with questions about the John Doe case they were working.
With all the people surrounding him constantly, Esposito didn't have time to stop and think about all that had happened. He finally got a moment alone when Lanie brought him a change of clothes. He hadn't noticed that he was still stained with his partner's, his love's, blood. When he was alone in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, it all came crashing down on him. Esposito crumbled to the ground and let the tears fall freely. He remembered seeing his partner with a gun digging into his ribs. His ears were still ringing with the sound of the gun shot and he didn't think he could ever forget the sight of seeing his partner's limp body lying in a pool of his own blood.
Things had been going so well between them in the last year. He had even been thinking of the best way to ask Ryan to say 'screw the consequences' and actually move in with him. He felt like he was on top of the world and he was unbelievably in love with the man of his dreams. He didn't know what he was going to do now. Beckett and Castle were hiding it from him but he had overheard whispers from some of the other detectives as they stopped by. He knew what that meant but he didn't care anymore.
Esposito wiped the tears from his face and stood up in determination. He quickly changed and threw away his blood stained clothes on his way out. He made his way to the room at the end of the hallway. He pushed opened the door and stared at his partner. The doctors had told him that it would be a day or two before Ryan would wake up. His body needed time to heal from the bullet and subsequent surgery. Esposito made his way over to sit next to his partner and took his hand. Esposito was quiet when he spoke,
"Hi, baby. I need you to listen to me carefully. I don't care that everyone knows about us. I don't care what happens to us, but when you wake up life is going to be perfect. You are going to move in with me and we will spend the rest of our lives together. I love you Kevin Ryan." Esposito looked down at their joined hands and his breath caught as he felt Ryan's fingers curl around his.