Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 4

Sam just sat there; gently stroking Dean's hair as the demon slowly relaxed and began to doze. Dean loved him, Sam wasn't sure that fixed everything but it helped. Sleeping in Sam's lap apparently helped since Dean didn't even start to have a nightmare that Sam could detect. But eventually Sam had to get up. Dean reacted, black eyes snapping open as he grabbed onto Sam. "Hey, its okay, you're safe." Sam whispered and Dean looked up at him. "Was trying not to wake you, sorry." Sam told him and Dean blinked.

"Sam?"

"Yeah Dean, I'm here." Sam went back to petting Dean's hair, smiling when the black faded to reveal familiar green. "I need to get up Dean, got to use the bathroom." Sam explained and Dean shook his head, clinging so tight it hurt a little. "What's wrong Dean?"

"Leave, not real." Dean mumbled.

"Dean this is real, I'm real. You're alive and out and we're safe. The house is warded." Sam assured him, he gently pulled Dean's hands loose and lay him down on the bed, gently stroking his face and Dean leant into his touch. "I'm just going to be in the bathroom and then I'll grab some food. Do you think you can eat?" Sam asked and Dean shook his head, his organs….he could feel the damage from the hounds even with what stitching Sam had managed, it would take awhile for him to heal it. The water from earlier still felt odd inside him. "Okay, I'm not leaving the house and I'll be right back." Sam promised. Dean grabbed his hand and Sam leant in, kissing him. Dean gasped, lips parting and Sam gently coaxed a response from him, tongues tangling. The feel of the kiss was familiar but the taste wasn't, Dean tasted like sulphur and blood. Sam forced himself to ignore it and focus on the feel of Dean kissing him back desperately. Sam eventually pulled back and stared down at Dean.

"Sammy." Dean gasped and Sam smiled, nodding.

"Be back in a few minutes." Sam promised before getting up and going into the bathroom. He did what he needed to and then went to where they'd stored the food and got some out to eat, walking back to Dean with the food. He saw Dean lying utterly still and tense, eyes black but as soon as he saw Sam he relaxed, eyes going back to green. Sam sat beside him and Dean curled into him as Sam relaxed and began to eat.

"Why?" Dean asked and Sam looked at him.

"Why what Dean?"

"Why did you get me out?" Dean asked and Sam sighed.

"Several reasons. You died for me Dean; I couldn't just leave you there. I read your journal and I wanted answers, can't get them if you're there. With everything….even if it hadn't been real you saved my life so many times, I'd use Ruby's knife and end it for you rather than leave you there." Sam admitted.

"Gonna kill me?" Dean asked and Sam sighed, a hand moving to stroke Dean's hair again, revelling in the warmth of the body beside him, proof that Dean was healing. He'd heard the fear and acceptance in Dean's voice, Dean expected to be killed.

"I don't know." Sam whispered. "It's just like….it's like I've been living a lie and I need to know what's real. Part of me's screaming you're a demon and you used me, that I should kill you but….but then I remember all the times you looked after me, saved me…loved me and I…..I don't know what to do." He admitted and Dean stared up at him. "I don't know what to do Dean." He choked and Dean reached up to trace his face gently.

"Should kill me. What I did….I'm sorry Sammy." Dean whispered and he meant it, he was sorry for everything he had done to Sam, Sam hadn't deserved it. Dean stared at Sam, at the one being he'd willing die for, would kill to protect and he could see the conflict in Sam's eyes. Whatever Sam chose to do Dean would let him, anything, even true death was better than hell.

"Dean….I read your journal. How you did this to be free, how you felt about me. Not exactly flattering." Sam managed a small smile and Dean flinched.

"Didn't want to like you….I'd just gotten out of hell, everything was so different and then I got stuck with you when I wanted to do other things…took my anger out on you." Dean admitted.

"But it changed." Sam whispered and Dean nodded.

"Yeah…don't know how anyone could hate you after a while." Dean admitted and Sam flushed slightly. Dean smiled slightly and Sam moved, curling against Dean much to the demons surprise.

"You're getting warmer." Sam whispered.

"Takes time to heal so much damage." Dean answered and Sam nodded.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you do it? Sell your soul for me; you knew better than anyone what would happen to you. I'm not worth that." Sam asked and Dean stared at him.

"You are worth it Sam, I would suffer an eternity in hell to keep you safe. Other humans…." Dean shrugged. "You're different."

"What do you mean different?" Sam asked and Dean shrugged again. "Would you really have fought Azazel for me?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. "Could you have beaten him?"

"Not in a fair fight." Dean answered softly and Sam swallowed. Dean had been willing to take on a much stronger demon to keep him safe.

"I don't understand Dean, why were you sent?" Sam asked and Dean looked away. "Dean please." Sam whispered and Dean glanced at him.

"I was meant to get you to explore your powers and use them. But I couldn't…you wouldn't have been you if you had. It would have changed you."

"What do you mean?"

"You would have been Azazel's general willingly." Dean clarified and Sam swallowed.

"Right, no exploring my dormant abilities." He agreed quickly. That got a small smile from Dean and Sam smiled back.

TBC….