Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 5

Dean was in shock. Sam smiled at him, kept touching him. How could Sam not hate him? He hated himself, for being what he was, for hurting Sammy. The fact that Sam was listening to him, believing him….it was more than he ever could have hoped for. He still had that nagging doubt that it wasn't real, tat any second Sam would be gone and he'd be back on the rack but even if it wasn't real it was better than reality. Dean touched Sam's hand and Sam twined their fingers together, resting their hands on Dean's shirt. His other hand gently rubbed the back of Dean's neck. Dean shuddered and pressed into Sam's hold, soaking up his body heat.

"Okay?" Sam asked gently and Dean nodded shakily. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Where….where are we?" He asked softly.

"Same house we squatted in before you….left. Figured it was safer to stay put." Sam explained, his breath warm against Dean's ear. Dean turned his head, letting his ear rest over Sam's steadily beating heart. He'd done it, he'd saved Sam. "Dean…what about Bobby? He knew you, thought you were my brother."

"He won't now. Surprised he hasn't called you." Dean admitted.

"Haven't turned my phone on." Was the answer. Dean felt Sam yawn and wriggled around in his hold, wincing when his stitches pulled. He looked at Sam, seeing the exhaustion in his features. He reached up to stroke Sam's cheek.

"You need to sleep."

"I'm fine." Sam argued and Dean shook his head.

"You're exhausted Sammy, you need sleep. I…I won't hurt you, I…I could stay in a devil's trap if you want." He offered and Sam shook his head. Sam kissed him chastely and then shifted so his head was against Dean's shoulder. He yanked the blankets up and relaxed. Dean lay frozen before slowly wrapping his arms around Sam, hugging him as he felt Sam relax into sleep. Dean watched in awe as Sam slept in his arms, he hadn't thought Sam would trust him this much, not so quickly. He would have stayed in a trap, anything for Sam to feel safe and here he was asleep in his arms. Dean relaxed but forced himself to stay awake, keeping watch while Sam slept. How much sleep had Sam gotten since he'd been sent back to hell? He had created a way to call him back in only eight days after all.

Dean held Sam the entire time he was asleep, content to just watch him sleep until Sam began to stir. Sam nuzzled at him and then pulled his head back, blinking sleepily. Dean waited, barely breathing and Sam smiled, still half asleep but very much aware of what was going on. He cuddled into Dean and kissed his cheek. "Sam?" Dean asked and Sam smiled.

"Not that much asleep Dean." He assured him before sitting up and stretching. "Feel up to eating yet?" Dean thought it over and then nodded hesitantly. "Something light." He promised and went to gather some food. Sam handed Dean a sandwich and the demon took a small bite, waiting to see how it reacted to his healing organs. When it settled alright he took another bite. Sam smiled and ate his own sandwich.

"What happens now?" Dean asked once he was done, staring at his hands.

"Don't know. Didn't think much past getting you out and talking." Sam admitted and Dean nodded. "Lilith's still out there somewhere, probably looking to kill me. Still lots of things to hunt if you want to." Sam offered and Dean looked at him.

"You mean together?" Dean asked and Sam nodded.

"I know it might take some adjusting to and stuff but…..you're not any different than you were before, I just know now."

"How…how can you trust me? After what I did….." Dean demanded warily. Sam stared at him, not caring that Dean's eyes were black, no matter what this was Dean.

"Because you're still the same Dean that died to bring me back, who held me when the visions got bad. And no matter how crazy it might be…..I still…..I love you." Sam whispered and Dean's eyes faded to green as he stared at him in shock.

"You…." Dean couldn't finish but Sam nodded.

"Doesn't mean things are the same…..I love you Dean and I think you love me. But it's going to take time if we want things the way they were before I read your journal." Sam told him.

"I do, it should be impossible but…" Dean couldn't say it but Sam nodded, understanding. Dean loved him, despite being a demon and therefore unable to love, Dean did love him. "I didn't want to, knew it would end badly, but I couldn't stop it from happening. Tried so hard to keep hating you, to treat you like a job but it didn't work. Some demon huh?"

"Personally I think you're the best demon I've ever met." Sam managed to answer and Dean actually laughed before wincing. "Do you want some painkillers?" Dean shook his head.

"Don't do a lot."

"Oh, sorry." Sam hid a wince, with those wounds Dean had to be in agony and yet he was hiding it like Sam remembered. Dean just shrugged and shifted to get more comfortable on the bed.

TBC…