(a/n – heres chappie numero four! :D)

When Ludwig walked into the hospital he knew something was wrong. He had called to Feliciano from the door way but the boy remained motionless and silent as the blond entered into the room, his footsteps echoing loudly in the silent room. Ludwig knew he was a deep sleeper, but he'd never had trouble rousing the boy from his heavy slumber before.

Upon closer inspection Ludwig realized that Feliciano was more pale than usual, and that his usual restlessness in sleep was gone.

The only sign that Feliciano was even alive at all was the faint rising and falling of his chest and the beeping of the heart rate monitor and even that was unusually slow and unsteady.

He walked to his bedside, his face creased in concern. He noticed that some of Feli's hair had fallen into his eyes, and he absently brushed it to the side, smiling gently at the boy.

Just as he tucked Feliciano's hair behind his ear Eliza walked in, startling him.

"O-oh, hi … I-I just-" He stuttered, his face red.

"N-no, sorry to intrude," Eliza started awkwardly, scratching the back of her head with an apologetic smile. "I just came to check up on him."

"What happened? Why won't he wake up?"

"He …"

Eliza grimaced.

"He was getting better, for a while; eating, even walking on his own for a bit. He was so excited to show you. Yesterday he just suddenly collapsed and blacked out. He hasn't woken up yet."

Eliza started at Ludwig's horrified look, quickly adding:

"B-but all his vitals are stable! He isn't even bruised or anything! He's fine, Ludwig, he's fine!" She soothed.

Ludwig sighed, running a hand through his light hair in frustration.

"I … I know … I just don't want him to make himself worse. I don't really know what I'll do if … if he …" His face contorted in anxiousness .

"Ludwig," Eliza started hesitantly, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You know there's no 'if', right?"

His face fell and he gritted his teeth, his eye's clear, blue pools of anguish. He shoulders rolled forward as he slumped against the wall in an attempt to stay upright, hunched over under the weight of his grief.

"… I know …" He said softly.

"I'm sorry, Ludwig, I've got to go back to work. You stay in case he wakes up, okay?" She said tenderly, leaving quietly and letting the door shut with a soft 'click'.

After that, Ludwig was left in silence, the only sounds in the room being the heart rate monitor and Feli's ragged, uneven breathing.

Ludwig turned to Feli only to find the brunette looking him with clear concern in his chocolate eyes.

"Oh … ah … Guten Morgen- sort of …" He said, his body rigid with tension. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough," The boy replied, his brow crinkling with the frown that now spread across his thin lips.

"A-ah," Ludwig stammered. "Is that so?"

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot.

"Luddy," Feliciano started. "You don't need to worry. Cherish every little blessing that comes to you, lest you end up with nothing. You don't want to be old and bitter and to look back and see how many times you could've had fun, all the wasted opportunities left in your wake. I know this hurts, Luddy, but even though it hurts we have to bleed. I'm ready to let go, I've relinquished my hold on this world while still being here … Shouldn't you be ready to let go? I-I heard a quote once, I don't remember who said it but it goes something like this: 'Live as that you were to die tomorrow; learn as though you were to live forever.' Do I make any sense Luddy? All I want is for you to be okay, I don't want you to end up bitter and alone, because you're too important."

"Feli …"

Ludwig cut off there, feeling anger bubbling up within him and threatened to break through and unleash its stinging current on the poor bedridden boy. Ludwig bit his tongue, physically trying not to loose it.

Unfortunately, every dam can only hold for so long, and this one didn't last.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO HAPPY WITH JUST DYING LIKE THIS? HOW CAN YOU JUST LET EVERYONE GO SO EASILY?!"

His voice echoes through the silent room and the blond's rigid posture and hurt, angry expression told of more to come.

Feli, on the other hand, was speechless as his face contorted in a mix of conflicting emotions. He was confused by just what Ludwig meant, angry at what he was implying, saddened that Ludwig really thought what he believed that meant.

'Not now Feli … Let Luddy get it out first.' Feliciano chastised himself, taking a deep breath and turning back to Ludwig, now more composed.

"You're so happy to-to just sit there as you waste away! Have you even SEEN yourself recently?! You're a walking skeleton! You just smile as though nothings wrong and it's a definite that we'll see each other again tomorrow when we both know that, honestly, you won't last more than a few weeks, AT BEST! And yet, while I sit here and watch you wither away when there's nothing I can do about it even though it really is my fault that you're like this, you want me to just LET GO?! JUST LIKE THAT?!" Ludwig shouted, his face bright red with an angry blush, tears brimming and almost ready to flow.

Feliciano stared at Ludwig with a horrified look on his face, looking from Ludwig to his knobby knuckled hands and back, the realization dawning over his face making Ludwig flinch.

"L-Ludwig … Can I … Can you pass me a mirror?" He asked quietly.

Ludwig scowled, unwilling to let Feli see how much it hurt that Feli didn't use the stupid nickname he'd given to Ludwig so long ago. He asked a nurse, handing the small hand-mirror she'd given him to Feliciano.

The little brunette boy stared at himself, his wide, horrified eyes seemingly searching his gaunt face, his hollow cheeks and sunken-in eyes, his dull brown hair and his drooping curl.

Only then did he notice that his arms were trembling with the effort of holding up the small hand mirror for so long.

His arms were skinny, the bones in his wrists, elbows, and shoulders protruding sharply, looking almost painful. His legs were largely the same, skin and bone and sharp, slightly swollen joints.

Ludwig watched silently, horror etched all over Feliciano's face. The boy surveyed himself again, his eyes growing wider and wider, seemingly the size of dinner plates.

He turned to face Ludwig, looking between the blond and his own face in the mirror.

"Well? What's the point of all this? Did you not realize how utterly decrepit you are at this point?" Ludwig asked, his voice icy and cutting.

"I-I just … and you …" Feli stuttered, clearly distressed.

Then he promptly burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry Luddy! … I-I didn't realize … and you had to … I … I'm so sorry!" He cried, his breath hitching in his throat as he began to wheeze.

Ludwig gasped, his eyes widening as he rushed to Feliciano's side. He took the brunette's hand, squeezing it gently.

"Breathe, Feli, breathe! I'm sorry I startled you … Just focus on your breathing. Calm down, it's okay." He murmured quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed and sitting Feliciano up, leaning the frail boy against him.

He helped Feliciano to sit up straight, holding the boys arm's above his head.

"Your arms, try to keep them up. It'll open up your lungs and help you to breathe. Now you need to calm down Feli. Relax. Cry if you need to, but calm down. Breathe."

As Feliciano's breathing gradually got better, the wheezing stopping and his breaths deeper, he slipped his arms from Ludwig's grasp, taking them and gripping the front of his shirt instead, tears still streaming down his face.

"Ludwigo, I'm so sorry! I never realized, and you had to put up with me, and I-I just … I'm sorry, mio amici, mi dispiace, perdonami!" He cried, clutching Ludwigs shirt as he sobbed, his hysteria clear in his pitched and strained voice and his face, contorted in horror and sorrow.

"Feli, sh, I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's not your fault, none of it is. I'm just … I just don't want to lose you. Really, none of it is your fault." Ludwig murmured, his hand rubbing light circles on Feliciano's lower back in an attempt to sooth the panic-stricken boy.

Feliciano eventually calmed down, slowly loosening his grip on Ludwig's shirt. As his tears slowed and his breathing returned to normal, he pulled away from Ludwig, scrubbing at his face to clear it of tears. Feliciano say, his head hung low and his shoulders hunched in, unable to meet Ludwig's eyes.

Said blond was watching Feliciano the whole time, his concerned gaze glued to the boy.

"I-I'm sorry, Ludwig, for everything. For not realizing how tough it is on you, for panicking, for being such a wimp …" He trailed off, his voice quivering.

Ludwig scowled, roughly pulling Feliciano into another hug. Holding the boy to him tightly, he murmured something quietly enough so that Feliciano wouldn't hear him. Feliciano frowned, confused, but decided to ignore it.

The two sat in their awkward hug, silent; but they both knew. They understood each other better in those moments than they'd ever understood each other before.

And so, they sat in their comfortably awkward silence; because as long as the two of them were alive, then maybe things weren't so bad.

(a/n - okay, so, first I apologize for the crappy ending :P it was, like, 6 pages long in word and would be another 7 if I didn't end it soon :P also, its been so long! I'm sorry! I just have to finish chapter 5 and then I can post everything, I've already finished chapter 6 so theres no wait on that :P hope you guys liked it! R&R please! :D)