Chapter 17
Bartimaeus
Well, I was used to this. Dismissed just a few hours ago, summoned again. I guessed it was Kitty.(1) So, both glumily and relunctantly, I took the form of the Bastard.(2)
As I'd expected, Kitty was looking back at me, her eyes wide with regret and sorrow. "Bartimaeus," She said as she looked away, balled her fists, and held back tears. "change that stupid guise." I didn't reply. "Change it!" I still did not reply. She was never going to get over him if she didn't face it. And I was going to help her. Easy way or hard way. Whichever she preferred.
"You know why I took Nathaniel's form."
Kitty whined.She was about to burst into tears. "Well, at least don't do his voice so well!"
"Trust me, it pains me as much as it does you."(3)
"Bartimaeus," She whined. "Please stop!" The tears began to flow.(4) "I'm not ready for this!" I knew my place and reverted to Ptolemy's form.
"It's alright. I won't do it anymore."
Kitty fell to the ground on her knees, buried her face in her hands, shook in something like rage or sorrow. I didn't know Kitty felt that way about Nathaniel. Only a few days ago she was laughing about the nickname I had given him. Could that have been false humor? In all honsety, I didn't know.(5) "Kitty, I—"
Kitty held her hand out, signaling silence. I obeyed. I didn't want to hurt her anymore, anyway. "Shut up, demon. I don't care about what you have to say."
Ooh, she was pissed. She hadn't called me a demon since the first time we spoke. And she never said she didn't care about what I had to say. She was like Ptolemy, always knowing that I had something to say and wanting me to say it.
All was silent for a moment. Kitty recollected herself and stood. For the first time since Ptolemy, I felt incredibly small.(6)
Kitty stared me in the eyes. I tried to do the same, but found that I couldn't. Kitty had a fire burning in her eyes. A fire of pure anger. Her aura was one big ball of fire. It made it look like she was tapped in a ring of fire.
But there was a difference to the flames. They were blue; weighed down by depression and regret. I guessed that Kitty was feeling too many emotions to place.
For a long moment, Kitty just stood there, staring at me. Her fists were balled and she hand an angry look on her face. But just below that anger there was regret and depression. I could read her like a book.(7)
"Bartimaeus," She began softly. Her voice was still trembeling. "I need you to go back to Mr. Button's house and try to figure out who or what killed him. And I need you to bring back all the books he had on Ptolemy. Anything that includes Ptolemy, bring it."
I couldn't respond. Kitty had told me to shut up when in the penticle. I couldn't speak. Kitty seemed to pick up on this. "You can talk now."
"Good. Kitty—"
"Just go."
The first dismissal. My bowels began to turn. I left without another word.
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(1) Who else would it be?
(2) Nathaniel. But what's the difference? And no, I didn't want to take his form, but Kitty needed a wake up call.
(3) But in different ways. Taking Nathaniel's form made me physically sick. And the sound of his voice was even worse.
(4) Not many tears, though. Just a few drops. Kitty never was a cryer.
(5) I don't know what fuels humands and care even less. The only emotion I could sense was anger, and I was usually the one to cause that anger.
(6) Like I was inclined to use the apropriate words.
(7) All humans are like that, no matter who. Even Ptolemy was like that.
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Hmm, plotline still muddled. Oh well. It'll show up eventually. Suggestions welcome!