Cheat

by Interrogated Pyjamas

Warning: Language, Yaoi, Shounen-Ai, Boy/Boy, M/M.

Disclaimers: I don't own any of it. Seriously peeps. Don't sue or I'll hunt you down and eat your face. Nom nom nom.

Mr. Jones and me look into the future
Stare at the beautiful women
"She's looking at you.
Uh, I don't think so. She's looking at me."
Standing in the spotlight
I bought myself a gray guitar
When everybody loves me, I will never be lonely


Mr Jones by Counting Crows

J'adore ca.

I acted on impulse. I had to see him, I had to fix this huge horrible mess. But what would I say? I couldn't turn back time. I couldn't change it. I loved him, god I loved him with all my heart. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, go to university with him, live with him, grow old with him. I wanted to die with him. He was my everything, my life, my soul, I wouldn't be able to live with him. I just couldn't. When we'd had our first fight, I'd said that he was too clingy, spending too much time with me when I wanted some alone time, he left me alone. I couldn't cope.

Flashback:"Naruto! Just fuck off already, I'm so sick and tired of you being around all of the fucking time!" I snapped, as I watched the dejected look appear on my boyfriend's face with a hint of glee, knowing my own miniature speech had stirred up some sort of reaction.

"Fine,I'll leave you alone" my blond had replied simply, shocking me with the swift and nonchalant reply. He walked away, leaving me completely baffled in his wake.

He'd done just that aswell, he never glanced at me, never tried to converse with me, completely avoided me in and out of school and when I'd try and make eye contact, he'd refuse to look my way. I was getting desperate and I'd only been without him for a day. I tried catching him after school, grabbing his arm as he walked off with his friends, he just yanked it away, never turning back. I just stood there, feeling rejected, sure it had been my fault but I never expected him to actually completely avoid me. I never wanted him to completely avoid me, I just wanted any time with him to be special and more treasured, and I could never do that when he was around me 24/7.

After a week, I couldn't cope, I was a complete wreck; couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and everything I saw reminded me of him. I couldn't help it, the next time I saw him I ran up to him, kissing him with as much passion and fervor as I could manage, before taking his hands and begging him to stop ignoring me. Naruto, after all, is the only person in the world I'd beg for. I have my pride, you know?

End flashback.

I found myself leaving the finishing party and heading towards the household of Kiba and Hinata, all the while rehearsing my speech in my head. First I'd look him dead in the eye, before apologizing, begging him to stay with me, to forgive me. Then I'd kiss him, if all went to plan. It wasn't really much of a plan to be honest, I'd just wing it when I got there, I knew I'd end up begging anyway, I always did. And it always worked, until now, this was the worst I'd ever done to him. Sure, I'd upset him, offended him, I'd never betrayed him. I'd never cheated on him.

There was no use beating myself up about it. Sure, I would, I had to since it was all my fault. Well, it was mine and Gaara's. But it wasn't Gaara's fault that I chose to cheat on my boyfriend, my lovingly adorable boyfriend who I couldn't survive without. He was my oxygen mask, keeping me breathing, keeping me sane. And I was that one patient who decided they could survive without it, who would rip it off and abandon it. All it was trying to do was to care for me, to save me, keep me alive. Without him I'd die.

When I reached the household the lights were still on. They were still awake and hopefully Naruto was too. All I wanted was to see him, to make it all right. To explain that I never meant it, it was hormonally driven, it wasn't my fault. But it was, who was I kidding? Even Naruto knew I was attracted to Gaara, for fucks sake, the image of that one night at the cinema came crashing by to haunt my memory. Me blissfully unaware of my boyfriend, forgetting his existence as I catapulted popcorn into the awaiting redhead's mouth. He'd never mentioned it, but I think he knew deep down that something was up, the pure fact I disregarded his presence must have made him stop to think.

But he'd said he was happy. Happy that his best friend and his boyfriend were getting on for once. We used to fight, you see, we had glaring wars over the table when we'd meet up with all of his friends. I knew it was just because Gaara didn't want to see Naruto hurt. No one did. Naru was the sweetest most incredible person ever. He made you happy when you were sad, he was the brightness in all of our lives. He was, literally, what made our days more interesting. And Gaara, Gaara was Naruto's best friend, a man's best friend is perfectly entitled to feel wary of their choice of partners, whether he or she was right for them, whether he or she would hurt them. I know I was wary of Naruto's friends. It was natural, you don't want anyone near your love if they could potentially hurt them.

I suppose that was one of the things that attracted me to Gaara first, the pure fact he was different. He wasn't a suck up to me like all of Naruto's other friends, he didn't play nice and accepting whilst thinking other things. Yes, I knew none of Naruto's friends really trusted me, they never had, but they hadn't made it obvious. Gaara had. He was upfront with his feelings, he made it clear when you weren't liked, and he made it clear when you were. A picture of him thrusting himself against me invaded my mind. I sighed, I should have just pushed away, not pushed forward. I shouldn't have acted irrationally on excitable hormones. What had it really achieved? I'd lost the love of my life, made him hate both me and his best friend and I was still sexually frustrated. I should just jump off of a cliff or something, there is no way this is going to get any better.

I knocked on the door warily, watching as a shadow from inside moved from the couch in the living room to the front door. Kiba. He opened the door, frown marked across his tattooed face. That was another thing about Naruto and his friends, they all had tattoos. Well the guys did anyway. Kiba had two upside triangles, one on either cheek, Gaara had the kanji symbol for love written on his temple and Naruto, Naruto had the most extravagant of all. A swirling spiral surrounded by a raindrop shaped flame. It had took ages to ink, he wanted to go the extra mile, the coloring was done as if it were an actual flame and the red swirl around his cute little belly button inked as if it had been branded on. It was beautiful, just like him.

"What are you doing here?!" Kiba spat venomously, his brow furrowing as he glared at me. I glanced past him into the hall, my eyes darting around for any sight of my blond. I guess I couldn't call him mine anymore, he wasn't mine anymore. He obviously saw me glancing around anxiously as he narrowed his eyes even more. I was strangely shocked at that point since I honestly didn't think he could have narrowed them any further. He just looked stupid now. Like he had his eyes closed. Ah well, not everyone can pull off the narrowed eye look.

"He isn't here," he hissed, holding his tension in. He looked like he was going to snap at any minute and bite my head off or something. I could have asked him where Naruto went, when he left, or if he was coming back, but the pure venom in his eyes kinda made me want to run and hide in a bush or something. And I'm not scared easily, you know?

I wandered away from the household, indecisive about where to go. Would he have gone to another person's house? No, everyone had been at the party. Would he have gone home? Maybe, there was no where else for him to go. I headed towards his house, taking the longer route to try to formulate some sort of ingenious way of gaining his heart back. I didn't know what I'd do without him, what would I tell people at school? Everyone knew we were a couple, we were basically that one couple that every other couple in the school wanted to be like. A loving trusting couple that were completely smitten and content with one another. What were we now? A heartbroken blond and a cheating raven? Being a cheat would be social suicide. I suppose something else could be made up. We ironically fell out of love during the holidays? We decided to have a break? Shit, I'd forgot, nearly the whole school had been at that party. Anyone who was anyone had been there. And they'd all seen, seen the scene, haha that rhymes. Ah well, so the whole school knew I cheated on Naruto. Who cares?

… Okay, so maybe I do. I know it's selfish and I know it's wrong to think it but maybe if I shifted the blame onto Naruto then my rep wouldn't be harmed, his would but mine wouldn't. I needed my rep, I was meant to be the most popular guy in school, well me and Naruto that is, but something like this ... something like this could destroy me. I'd be a social outcast, one of those nerdy geeks that sit in the library doing extra homework every lunchtime because they have no one else to hang about with. One of those nerdy geeks that tape their glasses together with extra strong tape even though they know a bully's just going to come and snap them in a totally new place the next day. Those geeks that run the hall monitoring program, the school newspaper, the chess team. I didn't want to be a geek. I didn't want to be nothing.

But I knew, deep deep down, that my rep meant very little in the grand scheme of things. It was Naruto that mattered the most. Naruto, the bubbly blond bubble brain that everyone adored. He was like everyone's little brother, happy and energetic but loving, caring , compassionate and forgiving at the same time. But forgiveness can only be stretched so far before it gives way. Sure, he's forgiven me in the past, I'd forgiven him, but cheating was too far. I'd gone too far.

For those awesome people who actually do read this bit. Thank you. I haven't written anything halfway decent here today lol.

I nearly threw a tantrum when I thought my computer had deleted this. It only deleted the last paragraph of what I'd written which isn't as bad. xD

Moo.
Baaaaa.

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