Four minutes and thirty seconds later Hook was limping up to the kitchen island. Yes, she'd timed it.
"Wow, you almost made it the full five," she said, continuing to chop vegetables without looking up. "I'm moderately impressed."
"You've allotted me only so much time in your home," he said, climbing onto one of the stools somewhat gingerly. "The little time I have I don't intent to waste on letting you hide from me."
Emma started chopping a little more vigorously than necessary; I am not hiding from him she thought, shooting him a glare. Killian didn't even have the grace to let his grin falter under the look.
"Yes Swan, you are trying to hide," he said, like he'd read her mind.
"It's more commonly referred to as ignoring someone," she informed him, taking a large sip from the glass of wine she'd poured herself. "Until I can get just tipsy enough to deal with you."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night love."
Whatever helps you sleep at night - meh, meh, meh, Emma's mind childishly mocked. She was about to whip out another snappy reply when she suddenly realized she was making too much for one person. She frowned at herself, she never did that. Hook seemed to be putting this together at almost the same time she was, raising an eyebrow in silent inquiry.
"I like leftovers," she lied. His eyebrow arched a little higher as if to say 'reeeeeally.' Damn his fucking eyebrows.
"Unless... you're hungry?" she asked as casually as possible. His other eyebrow joined the one arched up in a look of surprise before his smile turned coy.
"Are you offering me a home cooked dinner with you Emma?" his tone of voice so did not match the words he was saying, how the hell did he do that? The man was god damn innuendo incarnate, prophesied by flirt fucking prophets when the insinuation stars aligned; it made her want to slap the shit out of him because, seriously, not fair!
"No," she said quickly, looking down at the cutting board intently. Killian was too surprised by the pink flush that crawled all the way down her neck line to register her denial. He was on to something here.
"Do you always give such quaint flushes," he observed, leaning closer over the counter "over such innocent inquires?"
Oh he was laying it on thick now, words didn't really matter when his voice made every one of them silk.
"Ok, dial it down Casanova," she said, trying to look as bored as humanly possible without being asleep, walking away from him to scrape the diced veggies off the cutting bored with her knife into the hot skillet. She almost would have pulled the look off if she wasn't still blushing so damn hard. Wine, had to be the wine! Concentrate on what you're doing damn it!
"Silver tongues have no power over me," she told him over her shoulder. Neither did impossibly sensual voices; Or come hither looks, or fucking flirty eyebrows for that matter!
"You are entirely too up tight love, you need to relax."
"That's what the wines for," she said brightly, turning to lean back against the counter across from Killian, saluting him with her glass before taking another generous sip.
"I can tell you from experience rum is a far more efficient at such a task."
"I said relax Hook, not fall into a coma," Emma smirked, throwing a pinch of salt from a bowl into the skillet.
"Ah, you're a lightweight then," he goaded almost playfully.
"Ha!" Emma snorted, grabbing a sprig of cilantro, "That's hilarious coming from you," she said, crushing the leaves in her hand before dropping them in as well. He did that eyebrow thing of his.
"Coming from me?" he repeated.
"Yeah, the pirate who got messed up on cough syrup," she paused to give him a thumbs up.
"Smooth show there ace, you're almost as hardcore as some sixth graders I know."
"I did no such thing," he said, sounding offended by the accusation.
"You booped my nose!"
"Then as far as I can tell, your 'cough syrup' merely made me adorable." he paused as he thought about that for a moment.
"Which admittedly I've not been accused of... ever."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she smirked, walking to the fridge and opening it.
"What is this culinary delight you've offered to share with me?" he asked, appearing intrigued by her work.
"Stirfry, and I'm not offering," Emma said shortly, grabbing a package of pre-cooked, pre-chopped chicken before kicking the firdge door closed and making to the stove once more to drop it in the skillet. He slid off his stool and began to hobble into the kitchen with her, was he physically incapable of just picking a damn spot and staying there?
"Stirfry," he repeated, inspecting the spices she had lined up on the counter. She ignored him as he used his thumb and forefinger to twist the lid off of a greek seasoning shaker.
"Can't say I've every heard of it," he admitted, dipping a finger into the shaker before bringing it to his mouth to taste. He made a face like he found the flavour less than pleasing.
"Seriously?" she asked, looking from him to the shaker in his hand.
"Water?" he asked, still looking repulsed by the flavour. Emma sighed, reaching into the cupboard above her to grab a glasss before filling it up in the sink for him while he continued to speak.
"Your whole world is one of the most exotic I've seen," he told Emma, as she put the glass on the counter in front of him. He snatched it up and took a quick sip, swishing it around in his mouth before putting the glass down and going back to twisting off the cap of another shaker.
"With no magic the people here have had to be inventive and flourish on ingenuity alone." He dipped his finger into the new spice to taste, seeming far more please by this one before simply moving onto the next.
"Where I hail from it would take years and impressive coin to collect this array of spices via conventional means and not magic."
"Fascinating," she said, as if it really weren't, "do you mind?" she asked, clearly annoyed as she screwed one of the lids he'd uncapped back on. He frowned at the taste of the latest spice and handed it to her as if he expected her to throw it out.
"Not at all," he said, tipping the glass back for another sip of pallet cleaning water. Ok, Emma was not putting up with pirate-tude today, not in her own kitchen she thought as she finished off her glass of wine.
"You might want to get out of my general cooking vicinity before I go hell's kitchen on your ass Hook." She didn't expect him to get the reference, but really she thought, pouring herself more wine, the point had to be pretty clear. He of course made absolutely no move to leave the kitchen but he seemed to be done test tasting her spice rack at least.
"Curious threat," he remarked mostly to himself. Emma rolled her eyes turning her attention back to the skillet to toss the sizzling stirfry, filling the kitchen with its mouth watering aroma. Out of nowhere Hook's arm reached over her shoulder with a shaker to generously add a spice he'd obviously found agreeable. Emma smacked his hand with the spatula and he pulled back with a yelp.
"What the hell?" she snapped, facing him with an incredulous look, tilting her head to try and see what he'd just dumped into her food.
"Were those hot pepper flakes!?" she demanded, looking horrified at the generous amount now simmering with the food. His breath was in her ear a second later.
"Too hot for you Swan?"
Oh, that was it!
"For me?" she asked innocently, immediately putting Hook on edge. She reached for the sink and grabbed the spray nozzle before giving him an evil smile over her shoulder, resulting in him stepping back.
"I'm not the one that needs to cool down," she said, flipping the faucet onto full cold and aimed for Killian.
"Swan-" he didn't much farther than that as he was suddenly choking on a burst of icy water.
He stood there a moment with a stunned look on his face as he stood there as water soaked his shirt and dripped from his hair onto the floor.
"You were right, the wet look works for you" she said sweetly, grinning from ear to ear. Hook said nothing, grabbing the glass of water she'd given him. Before she could so much as blink he'd stepped over, raised the glass and dumped it over her head.
"Hmm, still better on you," he answered as she gasped and spluttered, now as wet as he was. They stood there for a second just looking at each other, Emma looking stunned and Hook holding that pirate mischievousness in his gaze. Emma tried to give him another burst but he grabbed her hand and tried to wrestle the nozzle from her so she couldn't spray him.
"Give it up love!"
"Gentleman my ass!"
"Say's the host to her guest," he laughed as he struggled one handed with her.
"Say's the worst house guest ever!" she retorted, trying to angle the nozzle out of his surprisingly strong grip and in his direction.
"You're so cute when you're fierce darling," he said, sounding both amused and sincere.
"I think you're adorable unconscious," she threatened him, even though she was illogically trying to fight a smile at the same time. That's about where the struggled abruptly ended as their struggles tore the nozzle off the hose, splashing them both with a torrent of the built up water. Emma cursed as she quickly reached back to the sink and shut it off. They just looked at each other, both now completely soaked, blinking at one another. With such a look of startled look on Killian's face, the whole event so ridiculous with both of them soaking wet and dripping on the kitchen floor; the stirfry bubbling away so normally that Emma couldn't help it - she giggled. She slapped a hand over her mouth and tried to keep it in.
"No damn it," she said after a moment, pointing a finger at him, "I'm angry with you, you're a pain in the ass," she told him, desperately trying to keep the bubble of laughter growing in her under control.
"I'm angry damn it," she stated again, her laughter filling her eyes even as she tried to look mad. He was constantly getting in the way and trying to annoy her and she was angry! Killian started to smirk as he watched her struggle to give him an angry look, amusement making her lips twitch.
"Of course," he said, wiping water from his face and smoothing his hair back, "is there a corner you wish for me to stand in for another five minutes?" he asked innocently. Like that Emma was undone, serious facade shattering as she bust out laughing.
"You bastard," she said, watching him grin at her as she tried to catch her breath. She sighed wiping at her eyes before throwing him a tea-towel.
"You're helping me clean this up."
...
It's been a bit of a shitty month for me, so it was really nice to have this piece waiting in the wings for me to work on :D
Sorry about the wait, hope you guys enjoyed it. Much Luvs!