Texting
By Lt. Surge
Edited by Faulkner
Re-edited by Whitney
…
Okay, I'm not really sure what this texting thing is, but all you kids do it too much. We do not! Yeah, cellphones are the best invention since milk. Let me tell you something, we didn't have no text messages when I was a kid. That's because you are old, and a loser. Um Faulkner, I don't think it's such a good idea to say that. When I went to war for my country, the United States of America, what the hell is an America? I didn't bring a god damn cellphone with me. I don't like war, it's scary.
Also what's with all that texting lingo bull shit? Why the hell do you say B4 instead of before? Speak English, not bingo. In people use texting lingo, and you my friend, are not in. If you piss off Volkner, you're gonna get beaten twice as much as when Koga found out you were dating Janine, I am still surprised that you didn't realize that she was his daughter.
If you ask me texting makes you stupid and all non-deadbeat dads would kill their kid's phones. I take that as an offence. Oh great, now we have to deal with Emo-Faulkner. Kids these days are mindless freaks. If ever have kids, I will raise them properly. I will raise them properly because if I don't they will turn out like the dumb-ass kid from Violet city. I will pound you so hard… you couldn't win a fight against a dying Magby.
Kids these days are morons and cellphones and idiot parents are to blame. I agree with the last one.