Disclaimer: Do I own Twilight? Nope. Do you want evidence of that? Look on the books cover. Does it say Silently Screaming? Nope. Now do I own Twilight?
Summary: Bella Swan's past affects everything in her daily life. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden for the sake of his two kids. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt, for each other, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further?
Author's Note: Hello again, and welcome to the sixth installment of From the Deepest Pits of Hades. Thank you all for reviewing the last chapter and for all of the compliments. This chapter was a lot harder to write, because it brought up a lot of memories that I had pushed down from the surface. I wanted to thank my beta/ soul mate for being so amazing. Go Lady Draco Violet! Anyway, on with the story!
[BPOV]
After everyone had been called back from searching for Maddy and Tony, Edward had decided that there had been enough excitement for the night, so after exchanging good byes, he left with the kids, dead asleep in their daddy's arms.
Before he left, he looked at me like he had wanted to give me a hug, although that could just be because I found his kids. For some strange reason, though, I wanted him to give me a hug.
The people that hadn't left yet had decided to let the fire die out and headed back to the apartment. Aside from wanting more association, Emmett still had to be informed of his new responsibility.
"What do you mean that sick bastard is out?!" roared Emmett from his seat on the couch next to Rosalie.
"He's not out out, but out with heavy supervision, and only for the will reading," Alice said from Jasper's lap.
"He can't get anything that Laurent and Irina left him, can he?" Esme asked, a worried, maternal look plastered onto her beautiful face.
"He can, but there is a tax on the things he receives." Jasper was studying to become a paralegal, so he was stuck answering any and all of the questions we had.
"They receive money in jail?" Esme asked, seeming truly shocked.
"They can. The people that visit them can give them money, or sometimes if they cooperate with police officers if they have any questions, they'll get money." Jasper said.
"I don't care about that. Bella, if he so much as even looks at you, I'll rip his eyes out," Emmett growled, his eyes narrowing.
For a second, I thought I saw a flash of agreement in Carlisle's eyes, but when he blinked, it was gone.
"Well, that's a nice sentiment, Emmett," I yawned. "I'm going to hop into bed, so I'll talk to all of you later." I went around the room, giving out hugs, trying to control the tears that wanted to be let out so damn badly.
When I got to Esme, she stood up from her place on the couch, wrapped me into her arms, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
She whispered, "Your mother and father would be so proud of you right now, Bella."
I almost lost it at that.
Esme was my mother when I didn't have one. There was an extremely compassionate nature to her that made people gravitate to her, like bees to a beehive. She was the epitome of a great mom, although not having any biological children herself. She was caring, kind, and so loving. It was impossible to not love her like your own mother.
I was originally supposed to go to Carlisle's and Esme after my parents died. Carlisle was just a young man doing his residency in a hospital that worked very closely with the Phoenix Police Department, which my dad was a deputy on. They became good friends over a short period of time, but then moved away. When I was born, my parents always told me about Carlisle and Esme and that I would go to them should something happen to my parents. When my parents' deaths happened, we couldn't make contact with them, because they never wrote anything down, or didn't tell me their last names.
After they died, I went into the foster system for a year, perhaps seeing twenty different "families" before going to Laurent and Irina. Between the twenty families to look after me until my eighteenth birthday, I had really only had three to truly care about me as a person and not just a check in the mail every month. Two of those, though, I was taken away from, because my standards of living were not up with the rest of the world's. Laurent and Irina were no different than the families that saw me as a way to add to their fortune.
And James, you can't forget James.
No, I could not forget James, not matter how much I wanted, tried, and failed to forget him, he was always there, glaring me in the face with his icy blue eyes.
His fingers ran down my scars and through my hair, his touch pulling everywhere, leaving marks that I would never be able to erase, and not just on the surface.
There I lay, quivering and naked, trembling, tremors ran through my bloodied body. The tile of the bathroom floor lay beneath my chin, making my pain even more unbearable.
"Get up," He commanded, kicking me in the ribs, making me cough up even more blood.
I didn't move quickly enough for his taste, so he knelt down, pressing a knee into my back and pulled me up by my hair.
"You piece of shit. You're a dirty whore. Get in the shower before they get home. I swear on your suicidal mother's grave that I'll kill you and that new little friend, Alice, if you tell anyone, do her hear me whore?"
He pressed the blade of the knife against my breast as he waited for an answer. I whimpered and nodded my head as far as possible, dreading anything to happen to Alice.
He released my hair in which he is holding me up against the door with, and the pressure of the blade was taken off my chest.
"Get in the shower and clean yourself off. Now."
As I slipped into the shower, the warm water hit my body, both soothing and irritating my open wounds, washing the blood and dirt away.
Tears ran down my cheeks and I felt as dirty as he said I am.
As I opened my eyes, I realize that the tears I'm remembering are real. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I begin to take in my appearance as a whole, instead of looking at the tiny details of every little imperfection.
Instead of starting down a path that could end me up in a really bad place, I think of every individual that has helped me heal.
The person that I really owe my life to is Emmett. If he hadn't have walked in on it, I may still be there, despite of my age, being raped and abused almost every night. Being waken up and dragged out of bed just to be used as a play thing for James.
Emmett, I owe my life to him.
Then of course, there were Carlisle and Esme, who in my book, were equal. They welcomed me into their home with a lot of band-aids and open arms. They stopped the bleeding, but could not take away the pain.
Sure, I had begun to see myself differently than I had in that place. How could I not with all of the love that was shown to me in the family? Especially from Esme.
Esme had spent two years in an abusive relationship before she met Carlisle, so she knew what it felt like. She knew what to say, what not to say, what to do, what to reassure me of, and so on. Since she had known my mother pretty well, she knew what she would say to get me through the incredibly difficult times. But most importantly, she treated me as her own daughter instead of the mangy, battered whore that I had come to think of myself as.
When I was five, I saw a picture of Carlisle around the house. With his light blond hair, pale skin, and perfect features, I thought he was God Almighty. When I was taken from Laurent and Irina's "care", he readily became a God to me and took on a position of a father at the first chance. When he found out what happened to my Charlie, he was quick to reassure me that nothing was my fault, and that the only thing that I had been doing wrong all these years, was blaming myself for his death. He was the loving father that I hadn't had since I was fifteen.
Alice was a Godsend. With all of the love that everyone was showing me and walking on eggshells around me, what I needed was someone that would treat me as if I hadn't changed at all. She didn't tread carefully, as if saying something too terrible would shatter me as if I was made of spun sugar. Quite the contrary, in a true Alice fashion, when she let her mind wander, she would say anything and everything that devious little brain thought of.
In the Cullen family, I got everything I had ever needed and wanted. They provided for all of my physical needs first (food, shelter, clothing, and water), and then they helped my emotions and mind to the best of their ability.
The one Cullen that I had never met until tonight, but frequently heard of though, had already affected me more than anyone in that family ever had. If you would think about it from my point of view, Edward and I had both climbed back from the deepest pits of hell in order to make something of ourselves. Edward, a doctor, and me, an actual person instead of a lifeless zombie. None of the other Cullens could sympathize with me there.
I would be the first to admit that Edward Cullen was gorgeous. He had uniquely colored, bronze hair, like a shiny penny, or a third place Olympic medal. His jaw was defined and seemed to be chiseled from marble. I would swear that the angle of it was a perfect right angle. His green eyes were like the deepest and purest emeralds the world had ever seen, and the scruff that was lightly scattered about that jaw line was enough to make my insides melt. He was gorgeous enough to be a Greek God.
His personality, though, had been the complete opposite of his looks. He came off as rude, impatient, ungrateful, and in need of a serious attitude adjustment on the phone. In person though, I still had to think about the Edward that I had met tonight, because he had blown all of my presumptions away.
That Edward was kind, impatient, and grateful. He was a doctor, so I knew he was smart. He had been through hell, because of the track marks on his arms, so I would think he's experienced and persevering and responsible now. When I came down the hill with Tony and Maddy in tow, a blind man could see the look of gratitude and love for his children on his face.
There was something different about Edward. I wanted to hug him before he left. I wanted to have an actual conversation with him about his likes and dislikes without my temper getting in the way. I wanted to hear about him from him and not his family members.
I guess with this opportunity coming up in the next week, I could get to know the real him.
[EPOV]
I needed to call and talk to Bella Swan. I needed to call and make sure she was okay.
So this chapter was short, but with my schedule, that was all the time I could afford. Again, let's thank Lady Draco Violet for the beta job, and for being such a cool chick. I hoped you liked it. Review!