Sollux's head whipped around so fast that he winced and raised a hand to massage his neck. "What? Tell. Now."
"Before Vriska the Spiderbitch interrupted our conversation, we were talking about the weird-as-fuck thing that happened on my bus this morning, right?"
"…Yeah…"
"I think that was me."
"Why?"
"I dozed off on the bus and starting thinking about the nightmares. No, don't fucking interrupt me, I don't want to talk about it. I don't fucking want to think about it. Suffice it to say I got…something…and I started panicking. I took a deep breath to try and calm the fuck down and apparently my attempt at not being a grubfisted failure managed to shoosh the entire school bus." Sollux raised an eyebrow over his shades.
"Grubfithted?"
"Shut the fuck up, I stand by my choice of expletive."
"Tho you think you have thome kind of empathetic powerth? Interethting. I don't think I've ever heard of a hero with thothe kindth of abilitieth before, not even in comicth. They don't ecthactly make for interethting fight theneth," Sollux muttered.
"I don't have any fucking clue, dude, you're the hero here. Is it possible?" Sollux only shrugged.
Vriska Serket marched briskly down the hallways of Sassacre High School, her shoes clicking quietly against the linoleum tiling. A strand of hair fell in front of her eyes, and she flicked it aside. Her altered contacts felt thick and dry on her eyes—damn it, she needed those eye drops she'd left at home. Stupid secret identity. Stupid vision eightfold. She'd run late this morning and worn an eyepatch instead of her lenses, but when she started getting weird looks she'd had to put them in anyways. Right now, they were rubbing and only serving to add to her bad mood.
Vriska did her best to push aside her angry thoughts; she had a legitimate situation to deal with. This could be bigger than anything she'd been involved with since she turned sides to be a hero rather than a villain, and whether she liked it or not, it was all about Karkat Vantas.
She organized her thoughts in eight pieces, the way she always did when things got confusing or frustrating. Losing her temper the way she'd been infamous for in years previous would get her nowhere.
Number one: Karkat Vantas almost undeniably had superpowers. This was proven by the incident on the bus this morning.
Number two: Karkat either didn't know about said powers, or he knew and was withholding information. It was likely the latter.
Number three: Karkat was friendly with only two people in the school; Sollux and Aradia. Vriska found it highly unlikely that either one of them had powers, but Vantas may have confided in Sollux.
Number four: An increase in villain activity coincided with Karkat's appearance at the high school. The short freshman insisted that he'd lived in town all his life, but now that he was at public school something changed. It could be just a coincidence, though.
Number five: The villains were targeting Karkat. This one was troubling. During the fight with the villainous quartet on the first day of school, Vriska had noticed that all four of them had focused on chasing Karkat for no apparent reason. It was extremely unusual behavior for all of the villains except possibly Prankster.
Number six: Prankster and Clockmaster had both mentioned another organization when they returned and fought Lady Luck. They called the strangers 'feltmen.'
Number seven: The Felt was the old name of Number Eight's gang. Was it possible that Number Eight had something against Karkat? If so, why?
Number eight: Should Vriska reveal her identity as Lady Luck to Karkat? It was this last one that made her hesitate. She hadn't even told John about her alter ego, it was too dangerous. But then again, John was a normal human. Vriska was a shape-shifting being with magical powers and wings on the weekends. That association could put John in danger from villains, it was better if he remained in the dark. But Karkat had powers, and he was already a target for the villains—if he knew Vriska's identity then he could have someone to call if he was in trouble.
She would have to think about it.
Lost in her reverie, Vriska nearly walked directly into Tavros Nitram, who was crossing the hall in his wheelchair. She barely managed to stop in time to avoid knocking over the crippled freshman boy.
"H-Hi, Vriska," he stammered. Vriska rolled her eyes.
"There's no one here and the cameras are faced the other way, wimpling. We need to talk, right here, right now, Rufio." Vriska positioned herself in front of Tavros's wheelchair and crossed her arms pointedly.
"This is a bad idea," he replied, his voice lowering pitch slightly and losing its usual stutter.
"This is really important," Vriska shot back, beginning to lose her patience.
"What is it?"
"Do you know a kid named Karkat Vantas?"
"Uh…"
"Come on, Nitram. Do you know him or do you not? It's an easy question." Tavros shrugged.
"I've heard the name before. Terezi was on about some guy who smelled like cherries in art class today, and I think that's the name she dropped." Vriska grit her teeth.
"Terezi. Of course it was Terezi, because it couldn't be anyone more bearable that I now have to talk to urgently. Of course it's Terezi," Vriska groaned. "That explains why you're covered in paint, at least." Tavros picked at the brown paint spattered across the front of his shirt.
"She kept dripping paint on me, insisting that it matched my 'chocolaty aroma.'"
"She paints on everyone, did you see what she did to Cantia the other day? The poor girl ended up completely coated in pink. I think Terezi was aiming for Feferi, but she dodged…Anyways, if you hear anything else interesting about Karkat, tell me as soon as you possibly can." A teacher emerged from the classroom across the hall almost as soon as Vriska finished speaking.
"Uh, Vriska, could you, uh, leave me alone? I, um, don't like it, when you speak to me, uh, in that way," Tavros squeaked, noticing the figure behind the girl hero.
"Man up, Toreadork," Vriska cackled meanly, her school face returning in an instant. She turned on her heel and marched away.
So Tavros hadn't met Karkat yet. It was a shame—although Tav's real powers were with manipulating animals, he had a pretty good empathetic sense. Vriska did too, but hers was muddled around the new kid, like he was doing something to disrupt her. It was incredibly frustrating. Vriska was tempted to revert to the old days and throw a tantrum, expressing her rage in the form of meaningless destruction and immature manipulation, but she bit her lip and held it back. She was done with being a villain.
The bell rang, signaling the end of classes. Vriska grinned and turned around, heading back to the Tech Ed hallway to meet John.
Their relationship was one of the stress points between Vriska and Tavros. The crippled boy didn't understand why Vriska would willingly date someone infamous for his (occasionally cruel) practical jokes throughout the school. In truth, Vriska found it kind of attractive the way John didn't care. She found it attractive that he was willing to ignore the school rules, to do whatever he wanted to, and to openly be a dork at the same time. His taste in movies was positively deplorable, and if he was anyone but who he was he'd be ripped to shreds for it. He was an adorable mix of idiotic and awesome.
When Vriska reached the Tech Ed classroom, John and Karkat were standing in front of the door arguing loudly about something. Karkat looked overly worked-up about it, and John was smirking. Sollux kept looking back at the classroom, as though he was expecting his father to walk out at any minute.
"Heeeeeeeey, John," Vriska said, snaking an arm around his shoulders and grinning at Karkat.
"Of fucking course you're here," the enraged boy shouted. "Because I can't get ten minutes without being harassed by nooksucking wannabes."
"Nooksucking. Man, Vantas, where do you even get these insults?" But seriously, where did he get them? Some of them were just weird.
"Fuck off" was his only response. Karkat glared at Sollux, who turned away from the door. The two boys walked off, and Vriska barely heard the start of another loud rant when Karkat left her range of vision.
"They're such losers," John snickered, breaking out into laughter now that the irascible new kid was gone. "I mean, seriously! Did you see his face?"
"John, I thought you were a prankster, not a bully," Vriska admonished. John rolled his eyes.
"Bluh bluh bluh," he replied, making a face.
"Wow. I must be speaking with the true pinnacle of maturity right here. 88 points for effort," Vriska replied, grinning. John leaned down to kiss her, and Vriska reciprocated gladly. They separated. "Hey, when did we become that couple?" she asked sarcastically.
"What couple?"
"The one that's always making out in the corners during school."
"Does it matter?"
"Fucking spiderbitch held a grubfucking tarantula in my fucking FACE! Shut up, Sollux, this is a federal fucking issue! She and that John asshat think they rule the fucking world and where does that put us? We're someone's old chewing gum ground to a pulp and clinging to the sole of John Egbert's fucking shoe and it's the most bulgefistedly idiotic thing I've ever had the misfortune of being involved with. I would rather get fucked up the ass with a rusty culling fork—"
"Whoa, dude, I think you can calm down now," Sollux interrupted. "I just athked you what Vrithka did in the hallway bethideth cauthe your little revelation there."
"His jokes aren't even funny! He's a bulgemunching shitsack of unfunny garbage and he should just go drown himself in one of his millions of stupid joke buckets! Why is he so popular? And Vriska! She's a lunatic! She belongs in fucking juvenile detention, not at this poor suburban high school," Karkat raved on, ignoring his friend.
"KK."
"She held a motherfucking tarantula in my FACE!" Karkat practically screeched, his face glowing red with rage.
"Karkat."
"WHAT?" Karkat whirled on Sollux, his eyes bulging.
"Calm the fuck down."
"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!"
"Shoosh. Theriouthly, shoosh."
"I WILL NOT FUCKING SHOOSH! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?"
"KK. Calm down."
"SHE HELD A TARANTULA IN MY FACE! WHO FUCKING DOES THAT?"
"KK. Thtop."
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
"KK, we're at your locker. You should get your backpack out and then get on the buth to go home."
"Fuck you."
"You wish you could. Thadly, though, you're thtuck in line behind the legionth of hot girlth that my perfect pothterior attractth. There are tho many, KK. Tho many."
"Save the stupid for later," Karkat groaned, entering his combination and retrieving his backpack from the shitty school locker. "And what the fuck is the deal with these stupid lockers? They're dumb and small as shit and why the hell can't I carry my fucking backpack like the students at, let me think, literally every other public school in the county?"
"You should have a thection in the thchool newthpaper, KK. It could be titled "Commentary By An Athhole" and it would cover two pageth with your rantth. You could enlighten the whole thchool."
"You and your stupid two fetish. Fuck off." Karkat hefted his backpack and slouched towards the school exit, but his path was blocked by girl with red glasses from his advisory. Terezi, he thought her name was? He couldn't remember.
Terezi didn't say a word, just sniffed heavily in Karkat's direction. He awkwardly tried to step around her, but she continued to obstruct his path.
"Get the fuck out of my way." Sniff, sniff, sniff. Terezi grinned a sharklike grin and turned on her heel to abscond.
That was it, Karkat was officially done with this. When he finally reached the school bus, he slumped down into his regular seat and tried to pretend that everyone else didn't exist.
"Hi, Karkitty!" Great; Nepeta was back, and it seemed that so was her usual chipper attitude. She grinned and twisted one of the tassels on her cat hat between her fingers. "How was your day? Did you have a better time after you got off the bus this morning?" Karkat raised his eyes and glared at Nepeta from a fetal position.
"Don't fucking call me Karkitty. It's Karkat, alright? Karkat. No nicknames allowed." Nepeta giggled.
"Whatever you say, Karkitty."
"Holy bulgeblistering shitmaggots, did you not hear what I just said? Do not call me Karkitty. I am so fucking done with other people's bullshit and that includes yours. Thank you."
"Are you always like this?"
"Yes. Fuck off."
"So rude! Come on, I just wanted to be furiendly," Nepeta replied. "Don't you efur get tired of being so purrly?"
"The fuck does 'purrly' even mean?"
"It's a cat pun, I mean surly," Nepeta explained. "Won't you just have a confursation with me fur once?"
"What would we even talk about?"
"I don't know, how was your day?"
"Terrible."
"Well, that sucks! What happened?"
"Why do you care?"
"I'm trying to be furiendly, Karkat! Look, I won't even use cat puns. I just happened to notice that you don't seem to talk to anyone very often, and I wanted to meet you. I like to introduce myself to people I don't know," Nepeta continued, trying to make eye contact with Karkat. "Can we just try to get along?" Karkat sighed.
"Fine."
"So why'd your day suck so much?"
"If you insist upon knowing, Vriska fucking Serket threatened me with a tarantula during fourth period. Who even does that?"
"Vwhiskers is awfurly mean sometimes," Nepeta commiserated.
"Vwhiskers," Karkat repeated, bursting into laughter. "I'm so going to call her that next time we meet."
"Mew should tell me how it goes. It'll be furlarious!"
"Furlarious. Really?"
"I guess that one was a little much…" Nepeta shrugged, but then her face lit up as something occurred to her. "The fierce mama cat sneaks up behind the grouchy crab, examining him. Purrhaps he would make a tasty treat!"
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"It's called rolepurrlay, silly!" Nepeta responded. Karkat groaned.
"Why am I a crab?"
"Because you're crabby!"
"Ugh."
"AC inspects the crab, nudging him with a fearsome paw," Nepeta continued. Karkat rolled his eyes.
"The grouchy crab clamps down on AC's leg with both of his powerful pincers. And then proceeds to let go, scuttle away, and build himself a fucking fortress to keep out the annoying cat," Karkat responded.
"Why are you so grouchy? AC asks. She knocks down the furtress and uses the teeny left-ofur pieces to build a little house and invite the crab inside fur tea!" Nepeta grinned at Karkat.
"This is stupid," he complained.
"No, you're just being a stubborn butt. It's fun!"
"It's stupid."
"You sound like my cousin Equihiss," Nepeta pouted. "Lighten up." Karkat groaned. The bus arrived at his stop and he hauled himself off, nodding a brusque goodbye to the cat girl.
When he arrived home, he slumped down on the couch, closing his eyes and thinking deeply. He'd learned to control his transformations to the point where he no longer needed gloves, and he relaxed himself into his "troll form," as Sollux liked to call it. The now-familiar sensation gave him no relief.
What the fuck was it about him that made everyone freak out? He just wanted to live a normal life, like a sane human being—no weird superpowers, no obnoxious spider bullies, no frustrating pranksters, just a typical public school situation! It wasn't rocket science! But nooo, he instead got to deal with ridiculous shenanigans on a constant basis, and it was annoying as fuck.
"Hey kid," Jack grunted, appearing seemingly out of nowhere behind Karkat. He jumped.
"What?"
"Get back in normal form. Listen, I dunno if you're dragging your friend over here today or not, but if Psionic still thinks he's coming over, tell him he ain't." Karkat shifted back into human mode, looking up at Jack in confusion.
"How come?"
"I have some business to take care of. Old colleagues visitin'. You should stay outta the way, they ain't all pleasant."
"What the actual taintsniffing fuck are you talking about?"
"It's complicated. Old buddy a' mine just called. Says shit's goin' down and we need to get the crew back together. Ya oughta just avoid 'em, they're not exactly pleasant all the time."
"Uh…should I go over to Sollux's, then?" Karkat asked.
"You're stayin' here, kid. I ain't giving you a choice in the matter. You're stayin' here, up in your room, and I'm gonna have a few choice words with whichever dumbass decided first that any of this was a good idea." Karkat nodded, confused but unwilling to argue.
"Right. I'll go call Sollux." He slumped up to his bedroom, toting his backpack along with him, and tossed it down on the floor near his desk.
Pulling his cellphone out of his pocket, he dialed the number that at this point, he'd practically memorized.
"Hey fuckface," he said when his friend picked up the phone.
"Thome way to greet your friend, KK," Sollux replied. "I'm headed over, what'th the worry?"
"My dad's being an enigmatic dickwad and he's decided to tell me that you're not allowed to come over for some obtuse reason. So no training tonight, despite the fact that this is the first time we might actually have something to fucking train."
"The fuck?"
"Exactly my grublicking point here, dumbass. But no training. We'll do extra this weekend or something."
"Tell your dad he'th impeding important actionth that could potentially change the fate of the entire planet," Sollux suggested sarcastically.
"Somehow I doubt how effective that would be."
"Whatever. I'll head back home."
"See you tomorrow." Sollux hung up, and Karkat slammed the phone down onto the desk in frustration. The fuck was his dad even planning?
Just then, the downstairs doorbell rang.
OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY FOR THE UNEXPECTED HIATUS
I SWEAR I DID NOT MEAN TO DO THIS I AM SERIOUS I JUST GOT OVERWHELMED BY FIELD HOCKEY AND AP CLASSES AND ALL KINDS OF RIDICULOUS BULLSHIT AND THEN MY COMPUTER BROKE AND THEN WRITER'S BLOCK I AM SO FUCKING SORRY
THIS FIC HAS NOT BEEN ABANDONED I SWEAR TO GOD
I WILL FINISH THIS IF IT KILLS ME
THE INTERMISSION IS COMING SOON AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND YOU WILL LIKE IT I PROMISE BECAUSE I SPENT AGES TRYING TO FIGURE WHAT THE FUCK WAS EVEN GOING ON BUT IT TURNED OUT REALLY GOOD AT LEAST IN MY OPINION SO YEAH
GLUB