Days of Heartbreak

Part Two

The Sequel to Sexy, Can I?

November 2007

Jason can't believe it when he sees Jasper and Jerry Jacks at the Black and White Ball. It's a few hours after Anthony was killed, nearly dawn.

Jason walks into the room where every doctors who's in attendance is working on Alexis and Ric, and that's when he spots Jax.

The room is in chaos.

"You go, Ric! You're hurt worse."

"Alexis, go..." he whispers weakly. "Sonny...make her."

"You're going!" Sonny orders. "Now."

"You heard him," Jax says and scoops her up. He takes off out of the room.

Jason asks Bobbie "Where'd he come from? I thought no one can get off or on this island because of the storm."

"No one who doesn't want to risking dying," Bobbie answers "Nikolas had a satellite phone and called the mainland for a helicopter for Alexis. But no helicopter would come out. It looked like Alexis might die, unless we did a makeshift surgery on her- which we don't have the equipment for. It was really sad...seeing her face when she heard that...seeing Ric and Sonny...the look they shared... Alexis asked to call Jax to say good-bye. It turns out he had gotten back from New York and his meeting, so him and Jerry jumped on a boat and hurried across the lake to rescue her."

"The storm still looks too rough for the rest of us to leave."

"Look out that window," Bobbie says. "You want to go out into that? Cause I sure don't. Now tell me...how's everyone I love?"

Jason has no choice but to tell her about what happened to Carly. But he assures her Carly is fine now, if a little shook up, and that all the other Spencers are too.

If only Claudia was just as lucky, he thinks, She's the one paying the highest price tonight.

Jason wanders back to the ballroom to try and find Claudia and check on her. He hasn't seen her since she was sitting near her father's body. When he went back a half an hour later, she was gone. He still can't find her so he concentrates his attention on Spinelli, Lulu and Carly.

Hours later, the storm finally dies down so everyone is able to start being ferried back across the lake home. Soon the cops show up with their questions.

After Carly answered hers, Jax comes back from dropping off Alexis. He walks up to Jason and Carly, then hugs his wife. "I can't believe what happened here tonight...I'm sorry I couldn't find you when I was here earlier but I had to get straight to Alexis...you understand, right?"

Carly glares at him.

Jason looks at Jax and just shakes his head. It will be a long night for those two at home for sure. Kissing Carly's temple, Jason says "You okay now?"

She nods.

"Go home with Jax. The storm broke completely...you'll be all right. Get some rest."

"I can't sleep after what happened."

"Then just go home, hug the boys and tell them you love them...tell them I love them too...tell them everyone they love is safe."

Jax says "That sounds like a good idea. Seeing the boys is just what you need, Carly. You ready?"

Jason watches them walk away, then turns around and spots Mac Scorpio interrogating Claudia. He makes his ways closer.

"Morgan!" Mac bellows. "You're coming down to the station to answer some questions. You and Ms. Zacchara."

"You got questions. Call my lawyer. We'll come down later today. Right now, Claudia needs to get home."

"Don't speak for me, Morgan."

He gives her a questioning look. She looks likes she just might fall to pieces at any moment, but she also looks angry enough, and deadly enough to kill ten more men tonight. The contrast is stunning. Jason just wants to hug her...hug his god dang enemy. Its crazy but true.

Sleeping with her was one thing. That's sex. This is comfort. It's a different sort of intimacy that can't be put on the human need for sexual release.

Mac says "We're doing this now. You come willingly or I cuff you. What will it be?"

Jason shakes his head, wearily. This going to the police station after every little shooting is really starting to get old. He never answers any questions, but they ask them over and over anyway.

"Fine," Jason says. "Lets get this over with."

As they head for the boat, Jason places his hand on Claudia's back, guiding her along the wet grass. She doesn't shake him away. It's the only way she allows him to be useful to her right now.

He'd love to be her hero but he knows its too late for that.

XXXXXXXXXX

The boat ride to mainland passes in a blur for Claudia. Jason sits next to her, their shoulders touching, and cops are all around. The sun is high in the sky over them. It looks like a beautiful day but she knows its not.

Today I killed my father, she thinks.

Once she had been his little girl, before Johnny was born, and once he had loved her right.

(I remember blue skies,

walking the block


I loved it when you held me high
I loved to hear you talk


You would take me to the movie
You would take me to the beach


You would take me to a place inside
That is so hard to reach)

For all the ways that Anthony has hurt her, has abused her, has watched her abused by pervert gaurds and lawyers who think fifteen year old girls make good girlfriends...for all of that...for sending her away and for ripping Johnny from her arms...she hated him. But he was her father. She had loved him too.

Jason is right beside her, but she doesn't think Jason can understand. No one can understand her black soul now. Jason is just the guy who she thought was sexy...and though she could use strong arms to heal her grief...could any man's arms be strong enough now? Could any man stomach kissing her...knowing what she is?

Today I killed my father, she thinks over and over, as the wind blows her dark hair away from her face.

(Father of mine
tell me where did you go?


You had the world inside your hand
but you did not seem to know


Father of mine
tell me what do you see?


When you look back at your wasted life
and you don't see me...

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame) (Everclear)

I killed my father. I killed my father. I killed my father, is all she can hear in her head.

She's supposed to be a bad ass. Claudia Zacchara is the baddest woman ever born. But she just feels like an orphan now. A murderous orphan.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jason gets done with his interrogation. He sends Diane home but decides he'll wait around to see Claudia. It feels like he should thank her again for helping him save Carly.

It also feels like somehow Jason should help Claudia deal with her father's death. He remembers losing Alan and how it felt like someone had reached into his chest and pulled out a piece of his heart, his lungs, his bones...he was left numb, breathless, weak.

One moment a person was there, in his life,...it was all a mess but they were there...there was a chance. Then it was over. He wonders if Claudia feels like that now. No one should face that alone.

Will she let Johnny help her? Jason thinks as he paces the police station. Someone has to help her.

Claudia comes out of the interrogation room, with Dara Jensen behind her. Jason takes three large steps and he's right in front of Claudia. Touching her arm, he asks "You all right?"

"Why do you care, Morgan?"

Jason startles at her harsh tone. Obviously she needs someone to lash out at and he's it.

Claudia goes on "You think I'm trying to pin a murder rap on you or something?"

"No."

Dara says "It was clearly self defense," loud enough for the whole squad room to hear. "There will be no trail. A party full of witness can give statements to just how dangerous Mr. Zacchara was last night." She looks at Claudia "Call me if the cops contact you again. I need to go. I'm missing my kid's soccer game. You have a ride home?"

"I'll take a cab," Claudia says.

Once Dara walks off, Jason tells Claudia "I could give you a ride. Spinelli is waiting outside."

Claudia simply stared at him.

Jason adds "He works for me."

"I know that. And he lives with you. What's the deal with have a male roommate at your age?"

"The kid needed somewhere to stay."

"Whatever. You don't have to explain yourself to me. We're enemies, remember?" She leans forward and whispers in a deadly tone "Or are you looking to make deals now that I'm the Boss? You reconsider the issue of the docks?"

Jason looks around the police station. Then he drops his voice and says "You want to talk business now? Here?"

"I don't want to talk to you at all, Morgan."

Claudia walks off. Jason follows her. He doesn't say anything till they are outside. She's hurrying down the block, away from the building.

"Claudia..." he reaches for her arm.

She spins around angrily. "You want to shoot me? You should do it now. We're enemies, right?! Go for it! This is the last time you'll ever see me without gaurds around. This is the last day I will ever be unprotected in this world. So do it, Morgan." She opens up her arms wide. "Take your best shot! You have your gun?"

Claudia reaches around his waist. Jason grabs at her hands, stilling them. "Shoot me, Morgan," she cries. "Come on...I'm just the whore who is your enemy, right? You don't want to work with me...to see me as a player...I'm just a bitch who killed to be the Boss...killed my own god damn father!"

"I don't think that at all." He tries to hug her but she pushes him away.

Claudia looks into his eyes, giving him a cold stare. "Don't think you know me, Morgan. You don't KNOW me! Don't pity me. That will be the mistake that gets you killed...don't say you never had your chance to get rid of me."

She starts to walk away. It's a heartbreaking image. Claudia in her wrinkled black ball gown, her hair a mess, her make-up ruined, her eyes dead, her shoulders forced back. Jason calls out to her "Hey..."

She looks over her shoulder.

"Thank you, Claudia."

She nods, then turns and walks away, leaving Jason to wonder how he can ache so hard and feel so deeply the pain of a woman he's known a week.

She saved his family tonight but she lost hers. Its not fair. Jason wants to somehow make it right for Claudia but he can't.

You only get one father, and she killed hers...and Jason is glad she did. Claudia has been stuck in his mind for everyday since they met but now he knows she'll be there for everyday from now on for a much different reason.

He'll never be able to do enough to pay her back.

But he's more worried about if she will ever really recover. She's way too amazing- tough, bold, fierce, sexy, smart mouthed, wild, cunning, he's already noticed all that and more about her- to be made into a shell of herself because of this.

He wants to see that beautiful bombshell that broke into his office and tried to boss him around again. He wants Claudia to be okay. Jason just doesn't think she will let him help her...still he feels he should.

She saved his best friend. He owes her for life now.