Nikolas and Claudia. The title of this comes from the song Bring Me to Life by Evanescence.
Life Among the Dead
Part One
June 30, 2008
The whiskey goes down harshly. Even after four double shots, it doesn't get any easier to stomach. This is not his usual drink of choice.
His glass is usually filled with well aged scotch, its buttery smooth delicateness sliding over his tongue like an expensive sin, one he repeats nightly. Except tonight. Tonight its just Jack Daniels and a bar stool at Jake's. The dirty, dank look of this place fits his mood perfectly.
Nikolas refuses to go home till dawn, till he is exhausted and the sun is high above him again, chasing away all the shadows. Chasing away her.
No, not Emily.
The times he does see Emily now, she looks at him with accusing eyes. You replaced me already, she seems to say. She doesn't speak to him anymore. Just appears and disappears quickly. He's started to dread her ever coming back again.
He used to look for her ghost everywhere...until Claudia ruined Emily for him, just like she ruined Nadine. She's good at ruining things and doesn't even try to hide that fact.
Like this moment, Claudia is ruining this for him too. Invading his mind when he should be thinking about his dead fiancee.
Five years ago today was the first time Nikolas ever kissed her while she was a woman- instead of the shy little girl she was when gave him a kiss on her sixteenth birthday. This should be her day. He longs to drown in memories of Emily.
But Nikolas can't.
His mind keeps circling around to Claudia Zacchara instead...the self proclaimed darkest woman he will ever meet. And she is. She's as dark as a midnight nightmare. Every time he sees her, he stiffens, his body going hard and his heart betraying his mind. His heart races at the sight of her. His blood grows thick in his veins. His mouth aches because it is so dry... his will power weakens...his lustful soul begs him to bring his lips to hers, suck moisture from her, taste all she's offering when she smiles at him, when she says they are alike...both so tormented.
Yes, they are both tortured souls. They were like that long before they ever laid eyes on each other. But now, she's the one tormenting him the most. Its Claudia that causes his nights to be sleepless. Its not any curse from his past or long lost dream that keeps him pacing the floors. Its her, and the knowledge she can make him want her, when he should not.
Every day she breaks the law, without remorse, and every night she goes to bed with bloody hands. Worse ...she will not stop. This is her way to get power. Its what she was born into.
Yes, they have a lot in common indeed. He was born into a family of power hungry killers too.
He looks in Claudia's eyes and sees someone who knows madness is always only one breath away. That beating your demons today does not guarantee you can beat them tomorrow. He sees a sensual, breathtakingly radiant beauty who he craves more than his next breath. There will always be more air to suck into his lungs, but the chance to sink himself into Claudia is rare.
Still, Nikolas does not enjoy wanting her so much. She's not who he should bring into his life. A pretty girl from a well respected family...that is what he needs for his son. Even Gia was that. She might have been fiery but her morals won out against her greed in the end. Emily was above reproach, in his eyes, even if in few others. And Nadine...so light...she's who he should want.
The image of Claudia, her nude body laying on silk sheets, sweeps through his mind, pushing out the thought of all other women. Damn it. She's behind his eyes every time he blinks. Is there no escape to be found from her?
"Coleman! Another.'
"Whoa, there, Prince. I called you a cab. You don't look right. Female troubles? Tell Uncle Coleman. I'm a good listener."
Nikolas throws two hundred bucks on the bar. "I'll have the bottle." The look he gives Coleman says not to even try arguing or else the bartender would end up with his head split open.
The Cassadines are not known to make idle threats, not even silent ones. Coleman passes Nikolas the bottle of Jack Daniels.
"Have a good night, Prince. Don't go hurting nobody. Especially yourself."
Hurt someone? No. That is not what Nikolas wants to do. He wants to finally drive Claudia, the dark haired, dark eyed, exotic mob princess, out of his mind once and for all. He wants to fuck her until she screams. Flip her over and repeat the whole exorcism again. Work her out of his blood, leech her from his bones, rid the fantasy of her from his head...free himself of all his wonderings about what it would feel like to be inside her.
Then, just maybe, Nikolas will be able to purge her from his heart, mind, body and soul forever.
Because Claudia is not someone to sit in a filthy bar and dream about falling in love with on the night when he is supposed to be remembering his one true love. She's not that kind of woman. He would do well to remember that from now on.
Nikolas vows to start trying to do that in the morning. Tonight...he will have her.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Claudia sits at the desk, in the living room of her Penthouse, looking at paperwork. She doesn't spend her nights watching TV or reading novels. She works. It is the only thing that keeps her mind occupied enough to not drift back into her past...not feel hands shoved down her panties that don't belong there...and not to look into her future...and see the black, empty road that stretches out before her. Work keeps her mind off all she will never have.
No man. For she will never let herself believe love exists. No babies. For no child deserves to cry its first tears in her arms...born the child of a mobster. That's a cycle she will break and teach Johnny to break. Their blood line is tainted with insanity, it can not be allowed to create another generation to hold prisoner in its crazy grasp.
She focuses on what she knows she still has- the only thing she can allow to matter to her- her business. Not her Daddy's business. Hers. She's running prescription drugs through town and making a fortune doing it. Finally she is subordinate to no one. She's running this show, and she's damn good at it too.
Not even Johnny knows about what she is doing. That's because it is she who takes care of him, not the other way around. That's her boy. She will protect him from everyone, even herself.
Does it get lonely? Does she want somebody to hold her close? Someone to fight on her behalf , to stand beside her? Damn straight.
But she's smart enough to know she can't have that. The only man in this town that even comes close to understanding how she thinks, what she craves, that this is her fate and not her choice, is Nikolas Cassadine. But he can not be hers.
She's thought about it enough to know that much is true now and will always be true.
He has his hands busy with his clinic, and his blonde nurse, and his pre-schooler son. A nice normal life...Claudia has never been a nice, normal woman so she can't see how she'd fit in his world. Not that she hasn't tried to bend the angles in her mind a million times since she spent the night at his place. But all the twisting and turning in the world doesn't make her fit in his life...and if she did...that would be the most dangerous thing of all for her.
She licks her lips, as she thinks about him. His dark eyes flash through her mind causing her to shiver and bite her bottom lip. She'd like nothing more that to take the launch out to Wyndermere dressed in only a black trench coat. Push him back on the couch, not caring if the servants wander by and get an eyeful, crawl onto his lap, kiss him until he moans and his hand loosen the belt of her coat, finding her naked and ready for him.
But she won't.
If he was some other guy, Claudia wouldn't think twice. Even if he was engaged, married, or recently widowed. She takes what she wants without worrying about how many hearts she tramples along the way, not caring who she breaks into pieces.
But with Nikolas it's different. The heart she fears breaking is her own. Its a very good thing, she reasons, that they don't belong to the same world. If only she could remember that more often when she sees him, instead of her typical reaction: a bone relaxing relief and the thought running through her head of Oh, its you again. Good. I've spent all day longing to run into you.
For that is not a reaction befitting the kind of cold hearted bitch Claudia knows she is...and knows she needs to stay.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Its strange how his manners don't falter even when he's drunk. Uncle Stefan would be so proud, he thinks, as he tips the cab driver handsomely and then walks, without even stumbling, inside the building. He rides the elevator up to the top floor and knocks politely, instead of beating on it like the mad man he feels like he is rapidly becoming.
Because of her. This is all because of her. Because she looks at him and dares him to want to live again, love again, dream again. Why can't Claudia see he's done with all that? Why can't she keep her smiles sad and her eyes bitter, like they are for everyone else but Nikolas?
He stands there shaking slightly as lust pulsates through his veins.
The idea of her opening that door, surely dressed in something tight and short, leaves him nearly panting. He hears her say his name, and realizes she must have just looked through the peep hole, a second later the door opens.
She smiles at him, with true warmth in her eyes, and that only makes him more crazed. Can't she see they are so wrong for each other? He knows she sees it. She's an intelligent woman, after all. Does Claudia not care about that fact? Should he follow her lead? If they both become reckless where will they spiral into?
He plans on finding out. Or ridding himself of her once and for all. By morning he will know which one it will be.
"Nikolas...the crown prince of the Cassadines...what brings you knocking on my door? Not that I'm complaining. But don't you know better than to court disaster?"
His hands raise, cup her neck then slide around to the back of her head, pulling her toward him, as he breathes out, under his breath, with the intensity of a curse word "Apparently not."