Enjoy.
"What?" Hermes stumbled back, his hands falling to his sides. "You…what?"
Lucy stared at her feet and mumbled, "I don't want to be a god."
"Lucy, you know your only other option is to…is to return to the Underworld, right?"
She nodded, her gaze fixed on her toes.
He let out a defeated sigh and sat heavily on the bed. "Why? Is it…do you hate me for everything that's happened to you?"
She looked up, shocked. "No!" she said quickly. "No, it's not that at all!"
"Then why?" His expression was hurt, unexpectedly vulnerable and it cut her worse than the knife had.
"I…I…" She turned around and ran. He rested his forehead against the headboard, wondering what he did wrong.
She half wished he would follow her, grab her and turn her around and demand to know why she didn't want immortality. And the other half, the half that made her say no, was glad that no one pursued her. She had only traveled this path once, not so long ago when someone who still made her shiver was chasing her. But still she knew exactly where to go.
Without the spirit guiding her limbs, she tripped on the last step out of the palace. She sprawled on the ground, feeling her palms sting and tears prick her eyes. The urgency gone, her heartbeat slowing as the adrenaline left her veins, she picked herself up carefully and made her way to a nearby garden with tall hedges that would obscure her from passersby. She collapsed on a cold marble bench and dropped her head into her hands, finally letting out the sobs that she had kept in for too long.
The sobbing had lessened by the time she heard the rustling in the hedges. She didn't lift her head; whoever was there meant for her to know they were, or they would not have bothered to make sound. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"What for?" Her head shot up, her tear-reddened eyes connecting with Apollo's light blue ones. His expression revealed nothing, and he leaned against a statue of a nymph, his arms crossed over his chest. "For sitting in this garden? Don't bother, it's a public place." He shifted, straightening and moving to sit on the bench next to her.
Her eyes followed him warily. "You hate me."
He didn't look at her, but at the garden around them. "Not true."
"You don't hate me?"
"I hate the idea of you. That anything can make my brother so weak."
"Hermes isn't weak."
Apollo laughed ruefully. "Maybe not to you, not to a mortal. You are too easily impressed with physical strength. But when physical strength ceases to matter, other kinds come out."
"Like what?"
Apollo shrugged. "Mental. Emotional. You compromise my brother's mind. You are a part of him that is very difficult to make invulnerable, very easy to manipulate. As recent events have shown."
Lucy put her head in her hands again, sighing. "I know. Is that the only reason you're here? To tell me everything I did wrong?"
"No. I happened to pass by my brother's room and saw him sitting on his bed, looking like a zombie. The only reason he'd look like that is because of you. Since you're out here crying, I have to assume that you declined his offer." Lucy said nothing. "I want to know why."
"I don't…I don't want to tell you." She peeked up at Apollo. He wore an expression of frustration, but took a deep breath.
"Would you rather talk to my sister?" His voice was tight with annoyance.
She shook her head. "I've already made my decision," she said softly.
"Then why are you here and not in the Underworld?"
She looked up at him in shock. He watched her for a long moment, his eyes inscrutable, before standing and walking away. She dropped her head again.
"Lucy?"
The girl's head jerked up. "Did Apollo send you?"
Artemis shook her head, watching Lucy with a worried crease between her brows. "I found you myself. What's wrong?"
Lucy blinked. "You…you don't know?"
"Know what?"
"I…I declined Hermes' offer."
Artemis blinked and sat next to Lucy. "Why?"
Lucy shook her head, looking down at her hands. "I don't want to tell," she said quietly.
Artemis frowned. "I won't force you to tell me, Lucy. But…I do wish you would reconsider your decision. I have grown quite fond of you and…I'll miss you. It is your choice, though." Lucy nodded, but didn't look up or speak. Artemis sighed. "I'll leave you alone with your thoughts." She stood to leave.
Again, Lucy felt that odd warring within herself, part of her wanting to keep Artemis there, to ask what she meant, but her other, more timid half won and so she said nothing as the blonde goddess left.
There was a strange sense of timelessness on Olympus, like time should be continuing as normal but didn't quite know how. Because of this, Lucy couldn't tell how long she sat in silence before the leaves rustled again.
"Lucy?" The girl looked up, not recognizing the quiet voice. Before her stood a woman, her dark hair pulled into a bun, her dark eyes solemn. She was a goddess, she had to be, but there was something about her expression that marked her as different, an ancient sadness that the gods did not possess. When she smiled at Lucy, her smile was gentle. "May I sit?" Lucy nodded, speechless. She stared at the woman with wide eyes. When the woman had sat and adjusted her gown to her liking, she turned to Lucy. "I have been wanting to meet you for a long time. My name is Ariadne."
Lucy blinked in shock. "Oh. You're…"
"Dionysus' wife," Ariadne finished. "Yes. And a mortal by birth, just like you."
"Oh," Lucy said faintly.
"I heard that you declined Hermes' offer for immortality."
Lucy frowned. "Has everyone on Olympus heard about it?"
The woman laughed. "Maybe. May I tell you something? I've never told anyone this before." Lucy nodded hesitantly. "When Dionysus asked me to be his wife, to become a goddess, I almost said no." She sighed. "He was a god, a god! And he wanted me to be his wife. A lowly mortal."
"But you're a princess," Lucy said quietly.
Ariadne laughed. "Mortal royalty means nothing next to godliness. And besides, I was a disgraced princess. I betrayed my family and abandoned them for a hero, who then abandoned me. I was planning to go back to my home, beg for forgiveness, and probably get shut up in a virgin goddess' temple for the rest of my life if I was lucky and they didn't just execute me. I thought I was dreaming when Dionysus appeared and told me that he loved me. I didn't believe him. How could anyone love someone as shamed as me?"
"So why did you say yes?"
Ariadne held out her arm, displaying the vine twisting around her bicep. "I had heard whispers of things like this. A mark given to a god's soul mate. It was so rare that very few believed in it, but Dionysus confirmed the rumors. I have it because he loves me and I love him, and that is eternal. I don't know why he chose me but I will be forever grateful. Sometimes I regret it, it's true. It is the most difficult trial you will ever undergo to stay youthful and watch your family, everyone you know die. But still, I'm glad I chose to become a goddess, because I can't imagine not knowing this life. And I know that, for him, it would be even worse." Ariadne took Lucy's hand gently. "Lucy, you have that mark because you and Hermes love each other. It is not something that can be doubted. I know you don't know why, I know you can't believe it, but it's true."
The woman wiped away the tears that were falling down the girl's cheek. She pulled her into a hug and Lucy rested her head on Ariadne's shoulder. "I don't know if I can say yes," she whimpered. "I'm so afraid that I'll do something wrong, I'll prove that I don't belong here."
"There are rules for us, different rules than for the born-gods. But Dionysus helped me, and I can help you. You won't be alone, Lucy."
"Is it selfish of me to want to say no?"
Ariadne hummed softly. "No. It is your choice, it is your life that this will affect the most. If you know deep in your heart that you would be unhappy here, then no one will begrudge you for saying no."
"I'll hurt Hermes. He thinks I don't want to because of him…"
"The gods don't understand why you are so conflicted because they have never been in your situation. Most of them, Hermes especially, have never been the weaker race. They have never experienced fear of a being greater than themselves. They do not know what it is like to feel unworthy." She stroked Lucy's hair. "He will understand. He will let you go if that is what you want."
Lucy turned her head to muffle her voice in the fabric of Ariadne's dress. "I don't know what I want."
"You have until sunset to decide." Lucy looked up at the sky. "Then you will be taken to the Twelve to tell them what you want. Do whatever you have to in order to choose right."
"How will I know what's right?"
"Whatever makes you happy."
Lucy's hands fidgeted in her lap and she stood uneasily. "I…thank you."
Ariadne nodded and smiled as Lucy rushed off. She brushed her fingertips against her mark. "She'll choose right," she murmured, and stood.
"Hermes!"
The god looked up in shock. His arms opened automatically but Lucy stumbled to a halt before getting within his reach. "Lucy?" he asked tentatively.
She wrung her hands, watching him anxiously. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
She could hear the dullness in his voice, as if the life was leaking out of it, and she cringed. "For making you…for making you sad."
He chuckled humorlessly. "This isn't sad, Lucy. Sad was when I thought you had lied to me the entire time I had known you just so you could betray me. Sad was when I found you, dead, on the floor of my temple after sacrificing yourself to free me. This is not sad. This is resigned."
She flinched. "Why?" she whispered.
He tilted his head and frowned at her. "Why? Because you're choosing death over immortality and I don't know why, and I can't do anything about it." His voice broke. "Is the idea of living with me forever so terrible that you'd rather die?" His fists clenched and he furiously blinked back tears. "If that's so, you don't need to live with me. I have to check up on you every now and then because that's what the deal is, but you don't have to be…you don't have to be mine. You can be free to live your own life up here. I just…I just don't want you dead, Lucy."
She knelt in front of him slowly, taking his fists in her hands and resting her forehead against them. "You want to know a secret?" she asked quietly. "I used to dream. A lot. When I was little, I dreamed I could be like those princesses in fairy tales, the ones who were saved by the handsome princes. Then I thought I could grow up to be a famous pianist and travel the world. Then…I didn't dream for a long time. Not until New York. I wanted to open an art gallery, a small one, and work with art forever. I could see the dream so clearly. Poppy could show her art there, Marley would have her café right next door, Jen would stop by to eat cookies. And when I met you," he tensed, "you just appeared there too. Like you had always been there. Dropping by every now and then, making silly comments about everything. It was…it was a good dream. I liked it the best, out of any dream I'd ever had. I even…I dared to think it might come true." Tears dropped from her closed eyes. "It's not…I know it's not a real dream anymore. I know it's never going to happen, no matter what I choose. But it was nice to have a dream, just for a little bit, one that might have come true." She looked up, smiling sadly at him.
He pulled one of his hands away to wipe her tears. "Why won't you stay with me, Lucy?"
"I don't belong here, Hermes."
"You belong where I am."
She leaned up to hug him. "You were alive for a long time before you knew me, Hermes, and you were fine."
He pulled away, scowling at her. "Because I didn't know you yet!"
She refused to get angry, just kissed his cheek. "We have until tonight, right? Before I have to tell them my decision?" Hermes nodded. "Can I just…be with you until then? I don't care what we do, talk or just be. But I want to do it with you."
He nodded again and opened his arms again and this time she curled inside his embrace. He held her, wrapped her up and protected her like he'd wanted to do during the entire war. He tried to infuse his hug with how much he wanted her, how much he wanted her to be happy, and how much he thought she would be happy there on Olympus. He didn't know if she had gotten any of it, if it had affected her decision at all. But he tried, and at the same time, he drank her in like he would never be with her again because he might not. He breathed in and wondered if this breath would be the last he ever smelled of her, or this one. He brushed his fingers along her arm and imprinted the feel of her skin in his memory. He kissed her and vowed to never forget this one, that he would make the last one count.
And soon, far too soon, the sun began to set on the palace of Olympus and Hermes gathered Lucy up.
"I can walk," she protested quietly, and he put her down. But her fingers caught his and he held her hand like a lifeline as they walked to the throne room. It was as if Hermes was the one choosing between life and death, his heartbeat racing and his legs weak, and Lucy was the observer, eerily calm and steady.
Just before they entered the throne room, Hermes stopped Lucy. He leaned down to brush his thumb along her jawline and look into her eyes. "Lucy, no matter what you choose, I will always love you."
She smiled, her face already showing signs of the ancient sadness that Ariadne's held, the grief of the person caught between two worlds. "I love you too, Hermes."
And she turned forward and walked with him into the throne room where twelve immortals awaited her decision.
Hm. The voice in this one seemed different. Was that just me? I don't know.
Well, anyway, if everything goes according to plan, the next chapter should be the last one. The last chapter. Wow. That's...crazy. But it won't be ending for a while, most likely, because I'll be focusing on schoolwork far more than my stories. So I'm very sorry for the long wait I'm anticipating. Thank you for your patience!