In That Sadness of Mine That You Do Not Know
"You left me behind because you had to go. You did not take me with you because I had to stay. How simple. Why did I not see it all these years?"
Soifon's response caused Yoruichi to raise an eyebrow. The anger, sarcasm and bitterness that she had seen pour out of Soifon today was quite alien to her. Her protégé had been a conflicting bundle of generous concern, warm eagerness and formal protectiveness, alternating between serious formality when it came to work and a childlike shyness in her more private moments.
But now, Soifon was distant, hardened, and cold. The tears she shed that afternoon had dampened the fire of the anger that drove her to seek Yoruichi's life. All that was left in her heart was a pile of cold ashes, with neither life nor warmth left.
"Soifon. Look at me."
"You are not my commander anymore. You do not order me around." Nevertheless, Soifon turned towards Yoruichi, but kept her eyes averted. She did not want to see concern in Yoruichi's eyes. Or perhaps she did not want Yoruichi to see just how numb she felt. She was not sure which of the two it was. I cannot bear it. Why can I not look her in the eye when I have done nothing I should be ashamed of?
"You used to tell me what you thought. Will you share your mind once more?" Yoruichi asked.
They stood rooted to that ground for what seemed like an eternity, until Soifon spoke up. "It is late. We should rest."
She could feel Yoruichi's eyes boring into her. She heard Yoruichi take one step forward – "Sister…" – but she seemed to change her mind and instead, shun-po'ed away.
Soifon sat down at her desk and buried her head in her hands. A hundred years was barely enough for me to wipe away the love, duty and respect I bore towards you in eleven years of service. How, Yoruichi-sama, how will you expect me to wipe away a hundred years of anger in a day? I am not as strong as you think…