Thank you for your great reviews! I hope you are all enjoying this. I don't own the characters. The songs for this chapter are "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner, "Who Wants To Live Forever" by Queen, "Broken" by Lindsey Haun, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole and "Hallelujah" and "Last Goodbye" both by Jeff Buckley. I hope you enjoy as this chapter was heart breaking for me to write.

APOV

I had finally finished cataloging all the supplies. Who knew there were so many to deal with? On top of all this I had to put in the orders for the Palmer wedding to the florist etc. Thank goodness she had told us the wrong date because I was wondering if even the queen of parties could pull this off. I told Angela and Ben good-bye. They were heading out to see a movie and go to dinner on us. I told them they deserved it with everything they had done. I was meeting everyone at the house for game night and pizza. Jasper and Edward were picking everything up. All I had to do was make sure the TV was on and the Wii warmed up.

I noticed the note on the door and picked it off. I walked up stairs and sat down to read. Bella was gone and who knew when she was coming back. I sat there for what seemed like minutes but it was awhile. Everyone walked through the door and I was still sitting there with the note in my hand. Jasper must have noticed something because he handed the pizzas to Edward and rushed to my side. I handed him the note and nodded he could read it out loud.

At this point the pizzas were on the dinning room table and we were all sitting down. The silence was deafening. I walked over turned the TV on and warmed up the games. They all looked at me like I was completely off my rocker.

"Alice do you know where she went? Are you not worried about her? I know I am." Rosalie asked and then sat in Emmett's lap.

"She went back home to the family cabin. Finally she is going to deal with all this." I walked back to the couch and sat down next to Jasper. He held my hand and squeezed it tight to let me know he was there.

"Right after she got home from the hospital the nightmares started again. She screamed so loudly I heard her from outside. I finally told her it was time to deal with all of the guilt and to start living her life. The past years all she has done is work. Even in high school I had to drag her on dates with me. She would rather put her nose in her books. She was determined to make her parents proud even though they were not here. I thought with college over and us starting this business she would finally start living. No her nose went right back to the book and work. I know she is ok if anything happens we will know. I looked at all of them and noticed Rosalie had tears in her eyes.

"How do you know she is safe Alice?" Emmett looked at me as he held his beautiful wife tighter.

I picked up my cell and pushed in a button and heard the voice that was waiting for my call.

"Hello Peter long time no talk. I know she is there but I just want to know if she is ok." We made small talk for awhile and I told him to let her know that we were here waiting for her to come back home to us. I called our parents too and told them not to go get her. They agreed with me but still would call to check up on her. I flipped my cell closed and took a deep breath.

"Her parents made sure that no matter what she could take care of herself. She knows how to fish, hunt, and eat off the land. Her parents always said she had an old soul. She is a well rounded person but does not give herself enough credit Believe me this is a good thing that she went up there. After all this time I will finally have the real Bella back. Have you not noticed she doesn't laugh? I mean she does but that is not her. Her laugh is contagious. It is like bells ringing and her real smile can melt hearts. She may be beautiful on the outside but what is inside her is even more spectacular." They finally knew about the real Bella. The one I had missed all these years.

"You mean Bella can shoot a gun? Hell ya!!" Emmett pumped his fist in the air and Rosalie smacked him.

I just nodded and we all started to laugh over Emmett enthusiasm over the real Bella. I got up to dish pizza out and grabbed beer for all of us. I noticed that Rosalie took one but did not open it. I just looked at her and she smiled right back. I put our beers back and grabbed us glasses of lemonade. I did not want to bring attention to her and have her not feel out of place. The boys inhaled their food and started playing guitar hero.

Emmett sucked at the drums well so did Jasper at the guitar but Edward had some kind of talent. He beat their asses every time with the guitar he had in his hands. Rosalie whispered that we needed to talk and we left them to their games. We went up to my room and sat on the bed. I just looked at her and finally broke the silence.

"Ok Rose spill it. What is going on?" She just blushed at me and was wringing her hands.

"Are you well are you what I think you are but you don't want to come out and say what you are?" I looked at her again.

"Alice I don't have a clue as to what you just said. I love your quirkiness. Ok first off Carlisle and Esme's wedding anniversary is coming up. We want to do something nice for them. Something simple and elegant. You and Bella are the only ones I would trust with this. The boys said money was no option."

"We would be honored to plan it and heck host it here! I have just the plan for it and I know Bella would make the most exquisite food for it. When do you want to have it?" I was literally bouncing on my bed and noticed that Rose was turning green.

She ran to the bathroom and I heard her empty her stomach. I knew what was up but waited for her to tell me the news. She came back slightly less greener and with a smile on her face. She sat back down on the bed and looked at me with a Cheshire look on her face.

"Their anniversary is the 2nd of August. I know it does not give you a lot of time and with Bella gone. I was not sure you would be willing but knowing you two it will be pulled off. As for the pyrotechnic display of my stomach yes I am pregnant! Emmett does not know yet. With all the work going on I thought it might be nice to tell everyone at the same time." She was just glowing.

"I wanted Bella and you both to know but we can save it for her when she comes back. This was not planned but a welcome surprise at that." She smiled as she put her hand on her stomach.

She told me she was due in February and that it happened on a solo trip to one of the construction sites. No wonder there were comments made on the trip to New York. She told me that even though it had been a business trip Emmett was romantic on the plane. He had ordered dinner for them, champagne and even had her favorite flowers for her. She said Emmett was a complete bonehead sometimes but most of the time he shocked her at how much he loved her.

I agreed to keep her secret for now. I bit my lip and decided that now was the time to tell her what Jasper and I figured out. She sat there silent listening to what we had found out. I finished telling her what I knew. She just smiled and hugged me.

"You don't know how long I have waited for Edward to find someone. Those two have more in common than they think." I nodded to that and we headed downstairs. The boys just all looked at us and we replied girl talk. They all shrugged and we laughed. I went and took dessert out of the fridge. It was obvious that Bella had been thinking about this there was not only chocolate cake but brownies, a cheese cake and an apple pie in the fridge. When things were troubling her she baked.

We all enjoyed the desserts immensely and the topic of their parent's party came up. I put my fork down slowly and heard Jasper moan. I still had it and the game was on!!

I told them I had some ideas and I am sure Bella would love to do the food. I also told them we were asked to do the Bite of Oregon. They knew all about it as Cullen Construction donated a lot of money to Special Olympics. They were worried it was the week right after the party but I told them we could handle it. We sat there talking and enjoying the evening. My mind wandered to Bella but I knew she was fine.

BPOV/JULY 18

The storm that came through was not as bad as it could have been. The wind howled just as it always did. It sometimes made you wonder if someone was screaming outside. I loved how the rain pelted on the corrugated plastic roof over the back porch. I slept last night but not much as my brain was moving a million miles an hour. The fire was still roaring and I made toast over it. It was not easy to do but I could to it. I made some hot tea using the kettle that was here. I put on my rain gear and took my tea outside.

The clouds were still gray and the rain was soft on the water. It was beautiful to look at. All those little ripples continuing on to who knows where? I heard a fish jump as I walked down the beach. The tide was coming in but it had awhile before it fully covered the beach. I sat down and just listened to what was around me. Silence, birds chirping, waves rolling in, a boat in the distance, an eagle over head, crows making the sounds they make. It was all so beautiful to take in and I missed it dearly.

I heard a rustle behind me in the bushes. The hair on the back of my neck rose. Please let that not be a bear. I had no way to defend myself other than to run like hell. I kept quiet and heard it again. I slowly turned around and saw a small doe step out into the grass. My heart was pounding but slowing down. I took out my camera and slowly took some pictures. The final one the doe looked at me and bounded off into the bush. I took some pictures of the water and the eagle sitting on a log. I got up and brushed myself off. Sand was a bitch to get off but this beach was all rocks. I never had to worry about a pedicure when I was here.

The cabin looked lonely as I snapped a picture of it. The swings that were made for me were still hanging. The tree house that I made many meals in still stood. I snickered to myself at the thought of all the mud pies I made. Even as a young child cooking was in my blood. I heard a whooshing sound behind me. I slowly turned around and saw a pod of killer whales come into the bay. They were here to feed on the fish and I took as many pictures as I could.

I saw that I had been out all morning and it was nearing early afternoon. The tide was not high but it was up at its point for today. I had learned how to figure them out in the book. I remember dad teaching me how the tides worked with an orange and a tennis ball.

I walked back into the cabin and grabbed some lunch. Another hot dog and some more smore's. The tea was welcoming too. I cleaned things up and put garbage into the fire. I made sure all was well before I headed back out again. I grabbed my iPod, camera and Kleenex. I had put this off long enough.

The rain was still drizzling but it was nice to hear. The funny thing about rain like this is it spooked the eye. When it hit the bushes, trees etc it made the leaves move. It was spooky but wonderful to watch sitting down. I sat down on the picnic table and blasted the music. Foreigner blasted out and the tears started flowing. Emmett and Rosalie had a deep love for each other. You could see the way Carlisle looked at Esme. Hell you could see the lust between Jasper and Alice but it went deeper than that.

I wanted something like that. I was still a virgin and was the last one out of my friends to even have sex. Alice knew but no one else. I was no prude but I wanted to wait for the love of my life. I wanted to feel my knees get week when I was kissed. I wanted my heart to ache when he was gone. I wanted what my parents had. Their marriage was rough but they always found the love to make it better.

I sat there for awhile and slowly pushed myself off the table. I walked up to the garden and looked around. I took some more pictures and the time I sank to the ground. The guttural sobs came out of my as my body just let go. I screamed and hit the ground with my fists. I slowly quit screaming and thought I have to do this now. My parents never wanted to be buried in a grave yard. They wanted their ashes spread here in the place they loved the best.

"Mom and Dad I miss you so much. I wish I had never bought that trip for you. You would still be here and with me. It is all my fault you are gone. You should be here DAMN IT!!! I always knew one day both of you would leave me but not like this! Dad the car is beautiful and I will cherish it forever. Mom you would be proud of me. I finally opened the catering business you always wanted. I won a food challenge on TV!! Me, Bella Swan newbie won it!! I still can't believe it. I love you both and you both are in my heart always." With that my sobs stopped and the hiccups started. I pulled myself off the ground and thought I would have bruises later.

I walked down to the beach one more time. The pod of whales were still eating as I could see their black fins coming up and down. The sun had started to peak out from the clouds making the rain shimmer on the water. I noticed a beautiful rainbow had formed. It jutted out of the sky and behind one of the mountains. The weight was finally lifted from my soul now I had to deal with my issue of being loved.

I took some more pictures as the rain started to pour on me. The sun was hiding again and the rainbow was gone. I found myself sitting next to the fire with another mug of tea. I wanted to go back home. There was a certain ball of energy that I was missing and some friends I dearly adored back home.

It was past dinner when I turned the walkie talkie back on. They had left it on in their house if I need anything. I told them I was ready to go back home. They said they would come get me at high tide the next day. I also told them to call my parents and have them make arrangements for me to get back home. They said not to worry about it.

I was not hungry for hot dogs but enjoyed all the crap food they got me. There was one thing I wanted to do before I left. I stripped out of my clothes. I pulled on my boots and wrapped a blanket around me. I went outside and walked to the waters edge. I pulled my feet out of the boots and waded in. The water was warm surprisingly. I got in up to my waste and dove in. I am sure I scared a few fishes with my nakedness. The water was so smooth and it felt so good on my tired body. The rain was slowly coming down but the moon was peaking out too. It was so beautiful on the rippled water. I slowly walked out and put the boots back on and the blanket around me. I slapped my forehead remembering what the doctor had said about swimming. To late to worry about it now. I would just keep an eye on my incision.

I dried myself off and put some warm clothes on. I set my boots near the fire to dry out. I brushed my wet head and sat down to read a book. My heart and soul were finally lifted to where they should have been. I slowly put my book down and crawled into the sleeping bag. I put my iPod on and sleep found me sooner than I thought.