Chapter 11
After a flash of millions of images, Korra decided to stop at one.
Mako, she whispered.
I plunged into the memory, reaching for that image of the young Mako. As soon as I touched it, I was another person.
I was no longer Tiana.
I was Korra, the past Avatar, the one that ended the Equalist Revolution and saved the world from Vaatu.
I paced in the meditation pavilion, the planks creaking quietly under my feet. I leaned against the railing, watching how spears of sunlight pierced through the heavy blanket of clouds. The waters of Yue Bay glittered softly, winking at me, mocking me.
The doubts were crawling under my skin like worms. Was I really going to be married?
Today?
I knew what entailed in marriage. An unbreakable bond, true companionship, children.
You just couldn't go back on it. It was a huge commitment.
What irritated me the most was my doubts? Why was I so torn up? I felt the wrongness stir deep in my spirit. It was a little dark corner that I managed to hide.
What was so wrong about marrying Tonloq?
He was a wonderful, kind man, who treated me like I was the only woman on earth. He didn't treat me differently even though I was the Avatar, the only person who could bend all four elements.
He made me so happy. When I was with him, I knew I was filled with the bright gold of my joy, nearly overflowing with it. Life was finally moving on.
Asami and Mako were also engaged, their wedding scheduled the day after mine. Tonloq and I's would take place here, at Air Temple Island, the most beautiful place in Republic City. Asami and Mako's would take place at Republic City Park.
Fall was a great time for weddings.
"Hey! Korra!" I turned to see Bolin, followed by Jinora, who looked pretty miffed. Her long hair was all in disarray and her brown eyes carried a glint I didn't particularly care for.
"You can't just do that, Bolin!" she cried, "I was almost into the Spirit World. I could have ended up in the Fog of Lost Souls! Again!"
"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist, Jin-Jin! I only scared you, just a little bit," he said, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Oh, it's okay, Jinora," I said, taking the slender teenage girl into a one-armed hug. "I'm sure Bolin didn't mean to scare you. If you want I can kick his butt for you," I offered, raising an eyebrow at Bolin, who was giving me puppy eyes.
"It's alright, Korra. Well, I'll be here if you need me," she said before flying off on an air scooter, her brown hair blowing into a dark torrent.
"So, you called?" Bolin asked, peering into my eyes with his grass green ones.
"Yes."
"It's about Mako, isn't it?"
I leaned against the railing again. I sighed. "Yes."
"I don't know what to say, Korra. He is my brother. He's getting married to someone else, to Asami," Bolin said, locking me in place with his stare. The lively green of his eyes was muted by the shadow of the pavilion. Maybe something else too?
"I know that Bolin. Maybe it's just wedding jitters but I can't stop thinking about him. And about how wrong this feels. I love Tonloq, but this feels wrong, deep in my bones."
"Korra, there are no such thing as soulmates. If that was real, and you were soulmates with Mako, you would be together."
The truth hurt like a punch to the face, which was a lot.
"Thanks, Bolin," I snapped.
His large hand grasped my shoulder lightly. "I'm just trying to tell you the truth."
"I know you are," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. My hand strayed to the engagement necklace that Tonloq made me, feeling the bumpy engraving of his promise.
"All I can tell you is to listen to your heart and mind," Bolin said, sighing. "But don't let one of them overpower the other."
"Okay," I answered. Then I gave him a smile, a little sad at the edges. "Let's go out, the two of us. Let's have some fun."
"YEAH!" Bolin cheered, pumping his fist into the air. "I know exactly where to go!"
He then wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leading me out of the mediatation pavilion.
The memory skipped to a new location, now at the Temple again. This time an aisle was set up in the plaza, with chairs lining the sides. White and blue flowers decorated an arch at the end of the aisle.
"Oh, Korra you look absolutely beautiful!" Ikki cheered; her twin buns at the top of her head bouncing as she jumped up and down.
"Thank you, Ikki," I answered, staring into the mirror. I didn't look at all like me. My dark brown hair was down, tumbling in waves past my shoulders, down to the middle of my shoulder blades. Small blue and white beads held up half of my hair, with a flower holding it all together in the back.
The dress was a simple, a white silk sparkling with pearls and crystals. I have never felt so girly in my entire life. The engagement necklace was around my neck, standing out against the utter finery of my dress.
I did look great, fantastic. The only thing was my eyes. In the depths of the bright blue irises was a dark sadness. I had done what Bolin said. I had walked my favourite parts of the city, just thinking, after we had the afternoon together. And in the end, I decided to keep on with the wedding.
I had to move on with life. Mako certainly had.
But there was still something that told me that this was wrong. So wrong. But again, Bolin was right. Soulmates didn't exist. And if Mako really cared that much, he would have said something.
I heard the music filtering in from outside, and the chatter of our invited guests. I imagined Tonloq, beautiful in a black suit, his dark blue eyes made even more vibrant. That sweet smile that captured me the first time we met.
As the girls chattered around me, there was a knock on the door. Asami was let in, looking extremely beautiful in her bridesmaid's dress. Her ebony hair was carefully pinned in a low bun, a ringlet escaping.
"I'm so sorry we're late! We got stuck in traffic on the way here," Asami admonished, rushing to me for a perfumed hug.
"Oh, it's okay, Asami! Better late than never," I said, clasping her hands, trying not to feel the cool metal of her engagement ring.
I wasn't mad at Asami, which was surprising. I thought I would be since she was with the man that was my first love. She was one of my best friends in the entire world. She had done nothing to wrong me. It was her fiancé that broke my heart. Even though we had that mutual breakup when I was eighteen and he was nineteen.
I felt his gaze on me before I saw him. Mako stood in the doorway, filling it with his tall frame. He clasped a wrapped gift in his long fingers. When his gold eyes found me, he froze. It was like the fires that regularly burned in his irises blazed in that one second.
I snatched the gift from him, not meeting his eyes.
"You look beautiful," he whispered.
"Thank you," I murmured and turned away.
Asami clapped her hands together. "Come on, girls! Let's go," she called. All the girls left, giggling and chatting. Asami gave me a long look and then nodded to Mako. I almost missed it, it was so small and discrete.
The silence was so tense, that it felt like he was giving off lightning, making the air snap with ozone.
"Did you want to say something? Because I have to go out there in a few minutes," I said. My voice was painfully loud in the silence, cold with my growing unease. I didn't want him here. He was the one that was ruining everything. I wished that I never met him, if I hadn't I wouldn't feel this way. I would marry Tonloq without all these doubt inside of me.
"Korra," he said, approaching me. I stepped away when he drew close.
I held up a hand. I knew if I didn't manage my temper, it would start to flame. "No, you cannot do this to me, Mako. You can't. You have caused me enough pain already in this life. I almost-"
I sighed. May as well out with it.
"I almost wish I could die already. So the Avatar could reincarnate, and not have to live with you. They would not feel this heartache that I feel. They would be happy."
"Korra," he said again, grabbing my arm. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
"Well, it's too late! If you actually cared about me, then you would have spoke up years ago. Before you got engaged to Asami."
"The engagement is off," he answered.
I felt the heat of tears in my eyes. I closed them so they wouldn't escape. God, I hated how weak I felt. I was the Avatar! I shouldn't have to be victim to my emotions!
"Like that even matters?" I cried. "It doesn't take back anything. You were still engaged with Asami. You were going to MARRY her! Don't you see the seriousness of that?"
"Don't you see the seriousness of what you are about to do? I know that you still have feelings for me," he pressured. He slowly walked me into the corner. I jolted when my back hit the wall, the pearls pressing into my skin. Mako's hands tangled with mine; then slowly raising to rest against the wall at my shoulders, completely boxing me in. His form blotted the light from the hanging lantern, cloaking me in his shadow.
"You can't do this, Mako," I repeated. "You can't just play with me like this."
"I'm not playing Korra. I have always loved you. When can you realize I'm not trying to hurt you?"
"I won't. All you did was hurt me."
His hand found my cheek, the heat in it almost burning me. His eyes matched an inferno as he drew close to me, bowing his head. There was a spark when our lips brushed. That spark ignited when his other hand grasped my hip, pulling me to him.
It felt like I was falling into a pit, one that I couldn't possibly get out of, not even with the power as the Avatar.
"Let me show you how I feel," he whispered, his breath brushing my face. I was just frozen, not really believing that this was happening. I was about to get married...
That thought went right out of my head when Mako finally kissed me, slowly, gently. My entire soul was on fire. There was no hole, no wrongness. This felt completely right to me.
I responded to him slowly, like waking up from a deep sleep. Soul deep, I knew Mako. He was the one.
I shook my head and pushed away from him. My body ached from the loss of contact, but I made myself strong. I ignited my hand, letting the flames blaze hot and dangerous, just like my mind.
"This is wrong. Like I said, you can't do this to me. Not again. I won't let you use me."
"Use you? Why would I do that? If I wanted just sex then I would have gone to someone else," he spat. His passion was quickly giving way to anger, like it was with him.
"Well, thanks Mako. But at least, I have boundaries. I don't break hearts in my wake wherever I go. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get married," I snarled.
I looked him right in the eyes when I continued. "I don't want to see you ever again after this."
I turned and headed out, to the music that sounded to my wedding.
I found Tonloq near the door, his dark blue eyes like brewing tempests.
"Tonloq," I said.
"I was just going to look for you, everyone's waiting," he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"I'm sorry, I was just held up by-"
"Mako, I know."
My head jerked straight up. "What?"
"I know, Korra. I saw what happened in there. I'm not blaming you or anything. But, you should have told me you were having doubts."
"Tonloq-"
"Let me finish," he said, holding up a hand. "Now if you still want to get married, you can call me, and we can reschedule. But, I think we need to spend a few days apart. For now, the wedding is called off."
He walked towards me, cupping my face. "I do love you, Korra." His hand dropped. "I know I have to let you go."
He gave me one kiss, gently on the lips. Then he turned and left.
Before I was even thinking, I rushed to my room, ripping off the wedding dress and pulling on my trademark Water Tribe clothes. Then I left the Temple, while the guests still milled. I looked back once, on the back of a sky bison, the Temple growing smaller and smaller. I saw that one slim figure, dressed in black, with a spot of red.
I turned away, letting the sky bison take me to the heavens.
I managed to pull myself out of the memory and was standing in a circular room with no windows or a roof. Light just seeped from the top. On the walls, Avatar memories flickered like screens. My mind was kind of weird.
"Korra, you're awesome but I just want to know how you die. I don't have time to learn your epic love tale," I yelled out. My voice echoed off the marble walls. No one responded.
Sighing, I went to one of the "screens", a memory of Korra. The others were of other past Avatars, which I didn't care about at the moment.
I touched the memory with my fingertips. It rippled like water, the faces on the wall blurring. Cold sank into my fingers, numbing them until they ached. It spread throughout my entire body, until the memory blinded me with white light.
"Good girl, Naga," I said, patting my polar bear-dog's neck affectionately. She huffed in my face, a gust of hot air so sudden compared to the icy cold of the South Pole.
I unhooked her harness, and placed it onto the hook in the barn. Leading Naga inside, I checked that the furnace was still going. At least today it decided to actually work.
I took my hair out of its beads, tying it back in a simple braid. Avatar Korra was known for the Water Tribe beads ponytail. People would probably still recognize me, but I didn't plan on going to the market long. By the time someone might call "Hey!" I would be gone.
To the world, Avatar Korra was gone indefinitely. On a spiritual retreat. Ever since the called-off wedding three years ago.
Life was blissful here, back home. I was not watched by the White Lotus, or at least publicly watched. Nobody from Republic City except Tenzin and his family knew where I was. I loved Bolin and all, but he could not keep a secret for his life. Sometimes, I got to talk to him when he visited the Temple, but I never told him of my whereabouts and he never asked.
We always talked of neutral things, like his marriage to Asami. As long as it wasn't the topic of him.
He was just a distant memory now that I've separated myself from all that drama. I didn't need that in my life. It messed with my spirituality, which was of utmost importance, as I was the Avatar.
I got my pale blue cloak lined with fur and draped it over myself, pulling up the wide hood. Grabbing my basket, I left Naga curled up by the furnace, sleeping happily.
The market was its usual busy, chaotic self. Spirits in vibrant colours floated around, drawn by the hot smells of food. I ducked when one dragonfly-bunny nearly bumped me in the back of the head on their course to a bowl of steaming sea prunes.
I made my usual rounds, buying mainly reserves in glass jars so it would last. I gave some of my food to some wandering spirits, glowing in happiness.
"I'm looking for the Arrok," a deep male voice asked.
I jolted, my eyes going to the voice. I took in the dark hair and tall form. No. Nonononononono, this couldn't be happening.
The Arrok was the title I made for myself here, so if there was a spirit problem, people would go to me, and I would go to the Avatar.
Funny how they didn't know the Arrok and Avatar Korra, were one and the same.
Anyway, the Arrok was also a signal that people could be looking for me, Korra. It could give me a heads up so I could make a run for it.
Melting in with the crowd, I rushed my way through, shoving and apologizing. The mounting panic was heavy in my chest, a tangled knot of doubts, insecurities and fear. How could this happen? I was so careful.
Once I cleared the market, I whistled. A gold and red spirit dragon bird circled above, sparks drifting down from his feathers like snow. An old friend from the Spirit World. I jumped onto his back, letting him take me back to my cabin.
My cabin was on the outskirts, near the cliff I got back my connection to the elements. The dragon bird dropped me off at the cliff and I ran for the cabin.
"Come on, Naga! We got to split!" I yelled. But Naga wasn't curled up in front of the furnace anymore. "Naga! Where are you girl?"
"Are you the Arrok? I think I found your polar-bear dog," a voice said.
I knew who it was who found Naga. She wouldn't go with anyone she didn't know.
I bent slightly, readying myself. I felt it coming on, the Avatar State. I was having such a strong emotional reaction that it was bordering on out of control.
Wind blew around me, making my clothes ripple. I tried to calm my breathing; it was fast, my chest heaving in and out.
I ran out of the cabin, pushing past Naga and the man that brought her. It was only a few metres, to jump off the cliff and hop a ride on the dragon bird.
I was drawing closer, the gold and red feathers sparkling with fresh sparks.
"No, don't run!" he called.
Before I even thought about it, I whirled, kicking out a foot. A blast of ice cold water hit the tall man, blowing him back to slam into the cabin. The wood shuddered, snow dropping off the sloping roof. Grinning viciously, I whirled, letting my waterbending speed my way.
Before I could vault myself into the air, and onto the dragon bird's back, a gust of fire shoved me down into the snow. A heavy body slammed into mine, pressing me into the snow.
"Why are you running? I just want to talk to you, Arrok," he hissed.
I thought that he would realize by now who I was. I thought he knew all along. Maybe he was not as bright as I thought he was.
"Let go of me, I will not help you," I yelled into the snow. Connecting with the Avatar Spirit, I used Avatar Roku's voice, to disguise myself.
"I know you know where Korra is. Tell me where she is!"
"I said, LET GO OF ME!" I screamed. It was too late. I was losing myself into the Avatar State.
Wind whipped around us, gently at first and then strongly. My body slipped from under the man's, floating into the air. My rage was molten metal in my blood. The power of Raava was like a million suns burning in my mind and heart. It was so exhilarating to hold so much power in my hands. I could do anything.
I floated in front of the tall man. I knew the Avatar State was something to behold. Glowing white eyes, a blank face capable of twisting into great rage.
"I told you to leave me be," I said. My voice echoed with the past Avatars' voices.
The man knelt in the snow, his red scarf stark against his black winter clothing. "I couldn't, Korra."
"You have made a grave mistake, Mako. You do not know what I can do to you," I warned.
Mako drifted towards me, despite the gale winds pushing back at him, loaded with ice and snow. "I do, Korra. You don't know how long I've been looking for you."
"I do not care. Leave before I make you."
"No."
"Fine." I lifted a hand, weaving a water cage around him. Mako floated in front of me, trapped by the tendrils of weaving water. I spread my fingers wide and then threw my hand out, sending him flying backwards a few feet.
But he landed right on his feet, shooting a swipe of fire with a swoop of his leg. I easily deflected it. He launched a series of attacks on me, blasting inferno after inferno. I was so busy blocking his volleys that I didn't realize how close he was. Before I could do anything, he wrapped his arms around my middle, pulling me down to him and claiming my mouth with his. I snapped out of the Avatar State. The drain of power was instantaneous; I could barely move a muscle I was so exhausted. The cold of the blowing snow seeped into my clothes, into my skin, deep into my bones. I felt hollow after I had felt so full of light and power. But that hollowness was filling, with the heat of my passion. I closed my eyes, revelling in the feel of Mako's body pressing against mine. Three years had not lessened my reaction to him. I couldn't help but be disappointed that even after my careful planning, he still found me.
But that was Mako for you.
After much struggling, I managed to pull out of Korra's mind and fast-forwarded the memories. I didn't want to see or feel what happened after. That was a little too personal. I caught flashes of their wedding, held at the Pro-Bending Arena, where they first met. More flashes, babies, Mako.
"Korra!" I complained.
Finally, I found the memory I was looking for. I merged with Korra's mind and fell into the memory.
"Honey, you don't have to go now," Mako said, sitting up in bed, his bare chest prickling with goosebumps from the cold.
"Yes, I do. It's a dark spirit. I need to take care of it," I gave him a look as I changed into warmer clothes, the thick furs of the Water Tribe.
He slid over the mattress and took me into a quick embrace.
"How about I come with you? I could use some action," he said.
Then there was a wail, a baby crying. We both sighed. He had slept for so long.
"No, you have to stay to take care of the kids. Bolin and Asami are busy. I can go by myself. You know I don't need you rescuing me. I'm hardly a damsel in distress."
"If I thought you were someone that needed rescuing, you would beat me up," he laughed, hugging me tight to him.
I gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Go, take care of Tonraq."
"Alright, alright," he said, squeezing me once more before grabbing a shirt and heading out.
"Mom?"
I turned to find Katara, standing in the doorway. The little girl had a teddy polar bear dog dangling from her hand, her black hair falling in a luscious sheet down her back. She came to hug me, her head pressing into my stomach.
"Are you going?" she asked, her voice muffled by my clothes.
"Yeah, hon. I got to go do an Avatar job," I said, running my hand along the back of her hair. "Don't worry though. I'll be back soon. I promise."
"Okay, Mom. Be fast though or else I'll miss you!"
I chuckled, kneeling down in front of her. "Of course," I said, kissing her on the forehead. "Now go back to bed. You have school soon."
Katara nodded quickly and padded off to her room. I left my room, passing by Hugh's bedroom. My boy was fast asleep, a skinny arm and leg peeking out of the blankets. I snuck in, gave him a kiss on the head and snuck out of the house.
I found Naga in her little home, waiting. Her halter dangled from her mouth.
"You sure you want to go girl? You had a rough time last time we went out."
Naga woofed in response.
"I guess that's a yes," I said, taking the halter and draping it over her back. Quickly doing the buckles, I jumped onto her back. Together, we disappeared into the arms of the snowy forest.
Snow blew in gently between the trees as we ran. Once we reached the rumoured spot, we stopped. I unbound myself from Naga's halter, and jumped down into the snow. I felt the presence of something, something dark that made my gut twist. Something was wrong.
I heard the hiss before I saw the seething mass of darkness. I whirled, shooting a jet of fire. The dark spirit snarled, the red sigils on it glowing with bloody light. The spirit was bipedal, and had waving tentacles for arms. One of its tentacles shot at me, wrapping around my middle tightly. I wheezed as it lifted me and threw me aside like a toy.
Pain exploded in my veins when I collided with a tree, every muscle went limp as I dropped into the snow. I groaned, managing to push myself up. Taking a deep breath, I slammed the earth with my fists, a wave of earth hitting the dark creature.
It fell with a final thump. With a feral grin, I weaved a water cage around it.
See the light in the dark.
The tendrils of weaving water began to glow a sunny gold, turning the black spirit a gentle white.
I centered myself, lowering my palms flat. "Go in peace."
The now light spirit whirred happily, jumping into the air and disappearing with a wink.
"Very good, Avatar Korra," a male voice congratulated me. I turned to see two rods shooting blue electricity at me. When it hit, it seized my body in its vise grip. I convulsed as I dropped into the snow.
I looked up to see the Lieutenant, from the Equalists. Or at least I thought it was him.
"Come on now. Hurry up, we have to finish this."
A group of people came forward, an old woman with one milky black eye, the other closed with a scar, a young couple holding onto each other and some chi blockers.
"Eq-Eq- ual-ists," I stuttered as the electricity wracked my body.
"We will be the Neo Equalists, Avatar. Now hold still," the New/Old Lieutenant said.
The chi blockers stepped forward and hit me a couple of times to erupt my flow of energy. God, I forgot how much I hated that. The snow soaked into my clothes as the old woman lowered herself down onto a offered blanket. Oh, so the crusty old witch got a blanket, while the Avatar laid cold and electrified in the snow.
The old woman started to mutter, waving her hands just above my body. I felt the spirit of Raava stirring in response, like a loosening in my chest.
I recognized one of her muttered words: Vaatu.
"N-N-No, don't do this. You don't know what you're doi-doing," I spat.
"On the contrary, Avatar. We do. We are not going to make the same mistake as that Unaloq. He was not intelligent enough to become another Avatar. The Dark Avatar would be no equivalent to the Light Avatar if the Dark had only one element."
"No!" I screamed.
But I felt it. That surge of cold inside me. They had revived Vaatu.
"Just one more thing. Goodbye Korra. See you in another lifetime."
Those rods came down again, alive with blue sparks.
Another shock.
Darkness and the fading pulse of agony, of something splitting.
Hey, so this was a long chapter! Soon enough, we will find out who is the true Avatar! Please comment!