I am just awestruck by the awesome heartfelt reviews I received on the last chapter. I hope I didn't disappoint you all in what I did. I love hearing what you all think. I don't own these characters but I do own warm socks because it is freezing here. The songs for this chapter are "Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley, "What Sarah Said" by Death Cab For Cutie, "Kiss Me" by Six Pence Non The Richer and "Everything is Broken" by Bob Dylan. Enjoy

EPOV/OCTOBER 18TH

I was elated when Bella finally talked to me in chat. I felt horrible when things ended badly that night. I was even more elated when she said would meet me at the ball. I wanted her to know how I felt and to explain my past and why I was what I was. My family was happy that I finally was beginning to heal and Bella had a huge play in that. My heart healed because she showed me I could love and be loved again. There was one person that I needed to say good-bye to before tonight.

We were all sitting around the breakfast table enjoying each other's company. Just like the ball staying at mom and dads the night before was tradition. We ate breakfast and then split up. We boys would go do something special with dad. I always complained I hated this damn tradition but who could blame me? I used to go to this with her. Mom and Rosalie would do a spa day and be girls together. Mom was looking forward to this year because not only did she have Rosalie but she had Alice and Bella.

I looked forward to this ball this year. I finally had dealt with all the pain and sorrow I had been living with. My family loved having the old Edward around and I was more ecstatic to have a niece or nephew on the way. The big addition to my life was Bella. My heart ached when I was away from her. I looked forward to seeing her even if it was at her worst. The morning we walked in on them after a night of drinking was the worst. I know Alice was mortified when Jasper told her what happened. I don't think she ever told Bella just exactly how she got into bed that night. I was grateful to be there for her as it took all my will power not to tell her then. The smell of her was blazed into my brain for a long time after I kissed her that night.

We were eating breakfast when I decided to bring the topic up of saying good-bye finally. Mom and dad were cooking breakfast for all of us. Jasper was making coffee and Emmett was trying to console Rose. My poor sister-in-law still had morning sickness and was looking a little green. She had her head on the table and Emmett was rubbing her back.

Mom set a plate of eggs and bacon in front of us all. Rosalie ran for the bathroom again and Emmett followed her. Jasper mentioned something about seeing a doctor about this and mom assured him that she was fine. Mom said that she had morning sickness with all of us and still can't eat some foods today because of it.

"Mom I am sorry we made you so sick." I hugged her and went back to breakfast.

"It was worth it ever time I went through it. Who knew I would have three handsome intelligent men in my life." She took a sip of her tea.

"Hey what am I, chopped liver?" Dad put his arms around her wasted and nuzzled into her neck.

"Sweetheart you are the only man in the bedroom for me." Mom let that hiss out of her lips. Jasper moaned and made fake puking noises while Mom and Dad laughed at it. I always thought my parents had the perfect relationship despite their squabbles and disagreements.

Emmett and Rosalie came back. He asked what we had missed and Jasper said we are not going there. I laughed and saw Rose put her head back on the table top. Mom set a mug of tea and some dry toast in front of her. She told her it would help and then kissed her on the head.

"I know we have plans to play golf today but is there something else we can do before we hit the green?" I took another drink of my coffee.

"What do you have in mind?" Jasper's head popped up from his plate.

"I think it is time I went back. It is time to say good-bye." I went silent as they all looked at me.

"You have not been back there since her services but I think it is a great idea. I can't say enough how much we have missed you. I have missed your hugs and your laughter. The night you played for your father and I healed my heart." Mom hugged me with tears slowly falling down her face. I did not meant to make her cry but I am glad she said what she had. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie all agreed with her. Rosalie asked for me to play everyone's favorite songs on the piano to be put on a CD for the baby. I was more than happy to oblige for her.

"Mom and I are heading to get the other girls. I think Bella is looking forward to this night. I know when I talked to Alice the other day she said Bella was even looking forward to the spa." Mom and Rosalie snickered at the thought. Emmett went to open his mouth to ask what the giggles meant but Jasper told him not to go there. We all laughed at that remark.

I did dishes after breakfast and went to change. I wanted to stop at a floral shop to get some flowers for her and a blue rose for Bella. I went up to change and saw that everyone had done the same. I met them at dad's car.

"How about we say two out of three?" Emmett and Jasper had their fists out waiting for me. We always did this when we were in the car together. Jasper won the first round and I won the second. Emmett was pouting but he always picked rock. If he would just change his tactics he might win one of these days.

"Damn it Edward you always win! How the hell do you know I pick rock?"

"Emmett you always pick rock just like Jasper picks paper. I could win this deaf and blind." I laughed at them as I got into the front seat. I heard them mumbling that the needed to start changing their tactics.

Dad knew what I wanted to do. He had a sixth sense when it came to my mind sometimes. He parked in front of the floral shop we always used. Dad use to get mom flowers here when he was courting her and the store passed from generation to generation. I knew what I wanted but still was nervous about tonight.

The lady behind the counter smiled at me. I went to pick out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. They were all her favorites and I am sure she would have enjoyed them if she was still here. I didn't see any blue roses so I asked. She told me they were hard to find but they got a small shipment. They kept them in back and she went to grab me one. I just hoped Bella would like it.

We drove up to the metal gate and went through it. The cemetery was centuries old. Her family had a plot here but never thought they would use it for their only daughter. My knees were shaking and dad put his hand on top to try to calm me down. It was very quiet in the car as we slowly went up the paved road. He stopped and I knew it was time. I got out and was stopped before I got the door closed.

"Edward do you want us to come with you or do you want to go on your own?" Emmett asked. I am sure they were all wondering it.

"No I need to do this on my own. Thank you for asking though." I finally shut the door and scoured for her headstone.

Her parents had some sculptor do a beautiful angel and it stood out amongst the other headstones. I found it and ran my hand over the angel wings. The stone was smooth and cold underneath my hand. I could see that other people had done the same thing. I wondered how much her parents and brother spent here. I should have been here but I could never make myself come.

The headstone was simple in design other than the angel. It didn't have her picture on it but dance shoes and music notes. That was our symbols for each other whenever we wrote letters or when I sent flowers. She signed with dance shoes and me music notes. I set the flowers down and knelt down in the wet grass. I slowly traced the lettering with my fingers

Sara Higgins

1982-2001

Beloved daughter, sister, friend and fiancée.

You are forever in our hearts.

I never realized that they had put me in there. She was my fiancée when she passed and I am sure we would be married now with children. She wanted children when she was young so we could enjoy them. I cleaned the leaves and such off the bottom of it and set the flowers in the cup that was in the stone. I just sat there and the words would not come. It always annoyed her when I did this. She would give me a swift kick in the ass and tell me to get on with it. I always did and then would get out what was in my mind.

"Sara for the past 7 years I have mourned you. I didn't want to live without you. My life was never the same without you there loving me. I have done so many things wrong and hurt so many people along that path. They forgave me though. Lord knows they shouldn't have but my family loves you. Emmett got married and they are expecting a baby. I am going to be an uncle." I went on with what had happened and how things were going for me.

"My music died the day you left me but I found it again. My heart found someone again to love. Her name is Bella and I think you two would have gotten along with each other. She loves all sorts of music, reading, she is a fabulous cook and has her own business. I was such an ass to her but…"

I poured my heart out to her just like I always did. I need her to know that she would always be a part of me.

"I love you will all my heart. You will always be a part of me but I want to love again. Bella has been through so much. She makes my heart complete and whole again."

The tears were falling down my face and I whispered good-bye to my past love and walked to the car. I saw my dad and brothers leaning up against the doors. Dad hugged me and my brothers put their hand on my shoulders. I nodded I was ok and wiped the tears away. I looked back on more time and then looked up. She was watching me and always would be there.

We played a round of golf. We were supposed to be out all afternoon but what I had to do was more important. All was going well till Emmett threw his golf club into the green instead of the ball. We all rolled on the ground when that happened. The look on Emmett's face looking at the ball and then the club in the sand was priceless. Wait till mom hears this one as something always happens like this especially when Emmett plays.

"Emmett, how has it been with Rose pregnant? How is she feeling?" Jasper opened the back door and climbed in.

"You saw her this morning as she ran for the bathroom. Lately all she does is get sick. I am beginning to worry about her." Emmett shut his car door with a worried smirk on his face.

"Son morning sickness is normal. I am sure it will subside eventually. Your mother was sick every time she was pregnant with each one of you. Though you the only one she had cravings with."

"No wonder I love peanut butter with my steak." Emmett licked his lips. I never went out to a steak house with them because it made me sick even thinking about it. I noticed he was thinking about something because he had this strained look on his face. He always did that when he was deep in thought.

"Emmett you are making that face again. What is going on in that complex brain of yours?" I dared to ask him and I was scared as to what the answer was going to be.

"I was just thinking that my sex was going to end sooner rather than later. Damn that wife of mine is one horny woman!" I saw him pump his arm in the air.

"Emmett I do not want to hear about your sex life with my sister-in-law." I rolled my eyes at him in the mirror.

Both Jasper and dad laughed at my comment. I asked them if they wanted to hear about it and Jasper shuttered no. As dad drove along we made small talk. I told them how I wanted things to go tonight and hoped that Bella would be glad to see me.

We pulled into the hotel and paid for valet parking. We went to mom and dad's room to get dressed. Jasper had told us that Alice out did herself on this party. She even hired a photographer to take pictures. I said we needed to do that before the ball started so I could put my plan into action. It would be nice to have a picture of all of us. This year's ball was so different from the lasts. All I did was brood and make everyone miserable.

Dad was the first one dressed. He wore the same tux as always but his mask was different this year. It was made of silver and looked like lace. Mom must have broken him down on theirs matching each others. He bought her one years ago but would never buy one to match it.

Emmett was in a simple tux with one black button at the top. He had mousse in his hair but left it curly. His mask was in a harlequin pattern in black and red. Rosalie must have told him the colors for tonight. She always did but he always got to pick out his mask as she wanted him comfortable.

Jasper came out in a black tuxedo with pink accents. We all laughed at him but he said he would do anything for Alice. We all admitted we would have done the same. His mask was half pearl colored and the other a pink color. For pink being a girl's color it looked good on him.

My tuxedo was simple and plain. Mom called it a classic tuxedo and I just took her word for it. My mask was in colors of blue. I wanted to match Bella as that is what she told me to look for. I made sure I grabbed the blue rose as we went downstairs.

Alice must have been working this for a long time. She had turned the hotel in to a real Alice in Wonderland. Even the waiters and waitresses were in costume. There were not a lot of people here yet as it was still early but I wanted to be in the background when she came in.

We didn't have to wait a long time in line to have our picture taken. I know mom would cherish the pictures of her boys. The past few years were not full of many memories of us all together. Dad said that later we would have all of our pictures taken with the girls. I noticed dad pull out his cell phone and look at a text. Mom said they were coming down to join us. I looked at my father and brothers and quickly hid out of sight.

I hid over near the orchestra as I made arrangements for something special for us to dance to. I saw Mom and Dad walk in. Mom was beautiful and dad was beaming with her on his arm. Emmett came in with Rosalie and she was breathtaking in red. The further along she was in her pregnancy the more beautiful she was. I saw Jasper walk in with Alice on one arm and Bella on the other. Alice was so beautiful in pink. They kept exchanging glances at one another. I was sure I was going to have another sister soon.

When I saw Bella she took my breath away. She was right when she said look for blue and pink. The color on her made her beauty come alive. Her eyes kept looking around at different things and people. I saw her hide her laughter when the Palmers came in. They all sat down at the table we always had and started talking. I noticed her eyes kept looking about the room. She was looking forward to this more than I was.

They all got up and went to get something to eat. I saw mom enjoying the desserts that Bella had worked so hard on. I could just imagine tasting chocolate on Bella's lips. It nearly sent me over the edge. Emmett held up a cookie and Rosalie smacked him. The laughter ensued after that. Knowing my brother it was some smart ass comment.

I heard the director of the orchestra announce the next song was for the princess in blue. I came out into the open so she would see me with the rose. I saw her go weak but Jasper held her steady as Alice said something to her and kissed her on the cheek. She walked over to me and I took her hand. I slowly kissed her knuckles and embraced her. As the music started I took her out to the dance floor. She melted into my arms like she was meant to fit there.

I started to hum in her ear as we danced. She started to talk but I put my finger on her soft pink lips. Our song ended but another one started. I slowly danced us into the glass conservatory. No one was in here and I wanted a bit of privacy for us. I held her in my arms and I never wanted to let her go. I slowly took my nose along her chin from one side to another. She smelled so good like vanilla and chocolate mixed together. I put my hands through her hair and nuzzled into her beautiful neck. I am sure her hairdo was mess but I could give a shit at this point. I put my hands around her small waist and slightly pulled back so she could see me. Her eyes were sparkling and I could see her breathing getting faster.

Our heads leaned in and my lips touched hers. They were so soft, so warm and so mine. I had wanted to kiss her like this for a long time. I licked her bottom lip and she opened to me. Our tongues entwined with one another as she put her hands through my hair. The electricity that was shooting through my body was erotic. I moaned as I probed her mouth harder. Kissing her was heaven and down right erotic.

We both pulled back from one another. I could see her breasts moving up and down as she tried to catch her breath. I tried to slow mine down too.

I moved my hand to my face as this was the moment I was waiting for. I slowly took of my mask as she still had her hands on my chest. My mind was racing as to what to say to her but I went with something simple.

"Princess……..Bella…."

She looked up at me without my mask and her eyes went blank. The sparkle that was there was dead now. The look on her face was mixed anger, pity and confusion. I tried to take her hand and take her to a bench to explain everything to her. She needed to know my past.

I could see tears in her eyes. I never wanted to upset her or make her cry. I wanted her to know that I was in love with her. I tried explaining again and asked her not to go when she turned away from me. She quickly moved away from me and I called out her name. She never looked back again. I felt my knees give away but felt some hands on me.

"Edward it will be ok. We will all make her understand. Time will heal everything and you will find each other. "He held me there as I sobbed. I lost one love of my life I couldn't go through the pain of losing another one.

He took me to a bench and just sat there with me. I don't know how much time had spent but he got up and said we could do nothing here. We went up to the room and I tried to keep it together. Mom had tears in her eyes as she looked at me. Emmett was holding Rose rubbing her belly. She looked at me with such sadness in her eyes. Jasper was holding Alice in his arms as she was asleep. Her eyes were puffy and so red. I fell to the floor again and mom came to hold me.

"Edward it will all be ok. Don't worry she will come back to you. Right now she is upset at all of us not just you." Dad helped her pick me up. They sat me in a chair and told me what had happened. Bella thought it was a big joke. She was so upset that they all had known and not said anything to her. Poor Alice was beside herself. She tried to explain but Bella would not listen to anyone. Alice tried chasing her down but Bella got away from her. No one knew where she was as she was ignoring her cell phone and texts from Alice.

All I knew was I wanted to explain everything and make things right. I wanted her to know I had fallen in love with her. Emmett took Rosalie to bed as Jasper picked up Alice. She whimpered in his arms and was crying in her sleep. They went to the girl's room and I took the one we would be sharing. Dad drew a bath for mom so she could relax. The emotional turmoil was taking a toll on her. I felt so bad for bringing my family into this but they wanted me happy. They wanted Bella in my life as much as I wanted her to be.

I crawled into bed with that kiss on my lips and Bella in my heart. Where ever she was I wanted her to be safe. My heart was breaking for the both of us.