I want to wish you all happy holidays. This will be the last update before the holiday. I hope you all enjoy this. I don't own these characters but I enjoy the trip I am taking them on. The songs for this chapter are
"Nobody's Listening" by Linkin Park, "Confessions" by Slipknot, "Open Your Eyes" by Staind and "Crying Eyes" by J.J Cale.
ANGPOV/OCOTBER 19TH
I got the call early this morning as to what happened last night. Ben and I were supposed to be on a pre-honeymoon but it was interrupted. I felt so bad for him as he was looking forward to the time with me. The bed and breakfast was nice about letting us go early. When Alice called she could barely speak on the phone. She tried telling me what happened but started crying again. Jasper filled us in on what took place. I was not surprised when it blew up in all of their faces. They didn't know what Bella really thought about men. I know it was a shock to Bella I just hoped that she would realize what was in her heart when it came to Edward.
When we came back to the house it was eerie. I expected Bella to be there ready for work. The kitchen was dark and lifeless. I went out back to check the coach house and saw some lights on. I noticed all the cars in the back driveway when I went to check for Bella's car. They must have been keeping Alice company and waiting for Bella's call. Jasper said she was not answering and at this point they were getting worried. This whole situation was a fucking mess.
I walked back to the main house and noticed Ben had fixed us some lunch. I tried to eat but I was so worried. Bella had worried us all when she took off for Alaska but this time it was different. No one knew what was going through her head but me. I tried to work on some projects that were coming up but my mind was elsewhere.
I heard the phone ring and Ben pickup. I heard nothing but my name being yelled out. I ran into the parlor and Ben had the phone in his hand mouthing Bella. I yanked it out of his hand but then calmed myself down. Bitching her out was not going to help her. All I wanted was for her to come home and deal with all of this.
"Bella sweetie are you ok?" There was silence.
"Bella please talk to me. You have us all worried."
"Angela I am ok. I need some help and right now you are the only one I can count on." She barely got it out.
"Sweetie just tell me what to do and I will do it. Please tell me where you are."
"Angela I need you to go over to the coach house and get some extra clothes for me. Also would you grab my laptop. "Silence again on the other end. What the hell did she want with her lap top?
"Bella please tell me where you are I will come get you. Alice is heart broken and…." I tried to talk more but she stopped me.
"Angela no questions right now. Please get my stuff and call me when you get close to Seattle."
What was she doing in Seattle? She drove all night long to get away from all of this. I didn't ask anything else as I would get her to talk when I got there.
"Bella ok no questions and I will call when I get close to Seattle. We all love you Bella."
"See you soon." With that she hung up. I didn't know how I was going to get out of here by myself but I was going to do it for Bella. She needed an outsider from all of this and I was that person.
I told Ben what was going on. He said if I needed help he was there just like always. I told him I needed to do this for her. Bella knew in her heart what she wanted but she was so mixed up right now. I kissed him good-bye and promised to make this up to him. He said he counted on that but right now Bella was more important.
I walked over to the coach house and went up the stairs. Someone must have heard me because Alice jerked the door open. She looked like death. Her clothes had been slept in which was abnormal for her. Her eyes were so read that I am sure they burned. I know she was hoping it would be Bella because she teared up when she saw me.
I did not know what to say to them. Alice went back to Jasper's lap, Rosalie was in Emmett's and Edward was no where to be found. Bella had affected this family so much did she really know how much she meant to them. I stood there and decided to let them know why I was here.
"I am here to get some things for Bella." I started to go up the stairs but Alice stopped me.
"What the hell do you mean by that? Did she call you? Please tell us where she is I need to go get her!" Alice was screeching at the point and Jasper calmed her down. My patience were gone with this woman. After all the things Bella and I talked about in class she had some fucking nerve not to realize what had happened.
"Alice you have no right to ask where Bella is. Do you realize what you all have done? What you have done? Alice for someone that is so smart about so many things when it comes to Bella you are fucking clueless."
"How dare you speak to me that way and in my own house!!!?As for Bella you don't have a fucking clue either" She was out of Jasper's lap and on her feet glaring at me.
"Alice you don't realize all the classes we had together. It gave us the opportunity for us to talk. Do you realize the pain and damage you did to Bella? You went on double dates with her and yet left her alone to go fuck Austin. You left her with his friends pawing all over her. She always kept them off but what if she hadn't? You were to busy screwing your brains out you never knew how much pain she was in. She thought the only reason a man would ever love her was for sex. She always went home to cry herself to sleep only to find you the next morning all happy in post sex glory. Alice you pushed what you wanted on her. Bella tried to tell you that the clothes, dates, events were all too much. All she wanted was you to back off and let her find her way." I was screaming at this point in her face.
"See this from Bella's view point, she finally found someone she could trust in and then for her to find out it was Edward was a huge blow. The man she had fallen in love with was the ass that gave her so much shit. I don't blame Bella for telling you all to go to hell if that is what she did. I all I know is she called and I am going without anyone of you. I am going to tell you this if she comes back there better be some major explaining going on. Right now I don't know how much more she can take. "I turned on my heels and went up to her room. I could hear Alice sobbing. I didn't give a care she needed to know how much she hurt Bella through the years.
I grabbed whatever clothes I could find. I hope that whatever was going through Bella's head these clothes would fit her needs. I grabbed her lap top as I don't know if she would work but when it came to times like these Bella worked herself to death. At least everything is out in the open and they now know what is in Bella's head. I looked around to make sure I didn't forget anything really important. I walked down the stairs and found them all talking. Alice had her head in her hands and Jasper was trying to rub her shoulders.
"Some best friend I was. Bella lost her parents and then I pushed myself on her. What the hell have I done to her? I will never be able to repair the damage nor will she ever forgive me"
No one heard me come back down the stairs. I just wanted to get out of there and let them wallow in their misery but I couldn't.
"Alice she will forgive you in time. You just need to back the hell off and let Bella be. Let her find out what her heart and head want."
"Angela I just want her home. We all miss her and I need to fix this. How could I have ever done this to my best friend?" She was sobbing again. I just held her and rubbed her back.
"I will bring her back but don't be surprised if she is not with me. Give her some time to think things through. She has been through a lot these past months."
"Angela bring her home to us. Bring her home to Edward. He is an empty shell without her." Jasper stood up and took Alice back in his arms. She calmed down to his touch on her check.
"Don't you want to know how Edward is doing in all of this?" Emmett got off the couch and came towards me.
"Emmett the only person that matters right now is Bella." I went to turn away but he stopped me.
"Dad took him on a site inspection. He had to get him out of here and away from all of this. Edward has done nothing but sit in a chair and rock just like before. I can't….we can't let him go through the pain all over again. He won't survive it this time. He loves her so much and it is breaking his heart. "Emmett nodded at what Jasper had told me. Jasper handed me an envelope and told me to read it to Bella. He said he hoped it would help.
I knew about Edward's past and I felt for him. I can't even imagine losing Ben like that. I felt a pain in my heart for him. I promised I would give it to her and that was it. I headed for the car and blew a kiss at Ben in the window. Bella was fighting her heart but who could blame her.
I drove off with what information I had. Head for Seattle and call her then. I was right outside the city limits and I pushed in her number. She answered very softly. She had been crying again I could hear her hiccup on the phone. She told me what hotel and what room number she was in. I told her I was alone to make her feel better.
I pulled into parking lot and found a spot. I walked into the lobby with her bags in my hand. The woman at the desk must have been expecting me as she handed me a key card. I walked to the elevator and pushed floor 20. My stomach started to churn as I found her room number. I knocked on the door and no one answered. I used the key card and let myself in. All the lights were off and it was hard to see things. I found her in a heap in an unused corner of the room.
I noticed the beds had not been slept in. This worried me more about her state of mind. I set the bags down and bent in front of her. I wanted to put her into my arms but she just sobbed. The lights of Seattle were the only lights in the room. I went to turn a light on and she stopped me.
We sat there in darkness and silent for hours. I wanted to let her make the first move. I could hear her breathing mixed in with her silent sobs. Her crying subsided and she sat there holding her knees to her chest.
"Angela I am so scared. What if he is like the rest? I can't go through that all over again."
I pulled her into a hug and just held her. I wanted her to feel safe and wanted. I sat there and told her what I told Alice. I spilled everything out from all the conversations we had in class. She looked at me and realized that it should have been done a long time ago.
"Alice knows now and hopefully in time she will back off. Bella you need to be strong and speak your mind. There are some things you need to know before you make whatever decision you need to make. Did you know he was the one that caught you at the party when you were so sick? When you were in the hospital he made sure you got the best of care. You thought he was there because they made him be there but he was there because he was falling in love with you. Did you know that it was his idea for you to have a surprise birthday party? The charm bracelet that was from everyone was actually from him. Did you know that their father took Edward on a trip to get him out of Portland? It was all too much for him. Jasper said to give this to you and I said I would. It is up to you whether you read it or not." I handed her the envelope and she slowly opened it. She read it out loud slow and softly.
My dearest Bella,
I never meant for that night to happen like it did. When you told me that you were falling for me on the internet I wanted to tell you then. Everyone knew but they never wanted to hurt you. The birthday party was all my idea. I wanted you to have a special birthday like you had with your parents. The moment I met you and saw you my life was changed. I was fighting one love in my past with what was going to be my future. Everyone knows this but it is time for you to know this. I lost my fiancé many years ago due to cancer. She was my everything and my life ended when hers did. I left school and quit playing my music. I lived a semi-catatonic life till everything came out in the open in New York.
I never knew it was you at first on the internet and then things started to click. Everything you told me in chat corresponded in real life. The night we went to Club Duvet I saw you in a different light. Only you would love the jelly fish tank, only you would dance with your heart and only you would tell me off. When we had the party for our parents I played because I was alive again. You don't know this but I watched you compete in Oklahoma. I booked a flight out as soon as I knew you were going. I did not want to miss out on something like this. I was so proud of you when you won. I never wanted to feel empty again. I want a future and I want it with you if you will let me. I understand that you are hurt but please forgive me. Forgive my family and all those that love you. Look at the bracelet when you get home. You have the key to my heart permanentaly and it is yours if you want it.
I LOVE YOU,
Edward
She looked at me and bit her lip. She had no words but I wanted her to know how he felt. The pain in her eyes when I told her about him leaving was unbearable. He loved her unconditionally just like Ben loved me and Jasper loved Alice. Edward knows about her past and wants to help her get through it like he did. I told her that his father had to take him out of town to work. Edward was a mess and staying at home with all the memories was making things worse.
"Bella now that you know the truth what are you going to do?" I hoped she would say go home but I was not sure if that was going to happen.
"I never knew he did all that for me. How come everyone knew and didn't say anything to me?" She wiped her eyes on her sleeve.
"Bella you don't give yourself enough credit. You are caring, loving, and talented and give before you do anything for yourself. You don't see yourself clearly enough. He sees all that but he also sees your stubbornness, your quirks and your klumziness. I don't understand why they did what they did but he loves you." I moved next to her and could hear her breathing.
"How can I go back knowing that he lost his first love? That is exactly what I did to him. I left him there and just walked away. How can he ever forgive me?"
"Bella there is no reason to forgive. They all know why you did what you did. All you need to do is come home and everything will fall into place.
She got up and put the letter in her bag. She paced the room and then sat back down. I could tell her mind was turning full force. I just wanted to know what she was thinking.
"Bella I want to know a few things. Why did you have me bring your laptop and just how much pressure do you have to take before you blow like this again?" Ok I was curious. Through all of these tantrums of the heart she was going to work?
"I don't want to go back home just yet as I need to think things out. I know what I am going to do but my mind and heart are fighting with each other again. As for the pressure yes there is a lot. I feel pressured to keep you and Ben employed. I feel pressure from Alice being herself all the time. I love her like a sister but sometimes she does not take no for an answer. As for the Cullen's I feel very inferior to them. That night it was just all too much. My best friend had kept a secret from me and it broke my heart that she did it. It made me wonder what other things she kept from me. There are some things I can do here for all of us while I get my life figured out."
We sat there in silence again. If I could have heard her mind working it would have been loud and clear like gears. I knew I had a long drive back in the dark.
"Angela would you mind doing some things for me while I am gone. Please? Make sure the decorations are up. I am sure you will have plenty of help. Also there is sugar cookie dough in the freezer would you make Halloween cookies. We can decorate them when I get back." She ran her fingers through her hair.
"Bella if that is what you want then I will make sure it gets done." Even after all the pain and destruction she was thinking of work.
"Tell them I am ok and I will be back before Halloween. Tell them I love them and not to worry. Please Ang do that for me." She was pleading with me. Even in all this pain she was making sure everyone was ok.
"Bella I will I promise you that. Do I need to bring you more clothes?" I know I did not bring enough to last almost two weeks.
"I will hit a store here. It is about time I figure out what I want." She slightly smiled when she said that.
She looked at me then came over and hugged me. She whispered that she was blessed to have all of us. I knew she was going to be ok. Their hearts were meant for each other and it would happen sooner than later.
"I am ok just take my message home. I promise I will be home." She embraced me again and smiled larger this time. She walked me to the door and kissed my cheek.
"If you need anything you just call." I hugged her back and whispered he will be back. I left her there watching me leave. I took the elevator down and got into my car. I called Ben and told him that I needed him. I wanted him and he said he would be there forever for me.
As I pulled up to the house I saw that Ben was waiting for me. He had company with him and I am sure they wanted to know all the details. Ben opened the door for me and swept me into a kiss. I cocked my head to one side and he whispered later. He put his arm around my waist and walked me up the stairs. Alice was going to say something but Jasper held her back. Everyone sat at the huge table we used with clients. Ben sat beside me and held my hand. I knew he was there for me when I felt more than a few squeezes.
"Bella is fine but she is not coming back just yet. Alice I am sure you meant well but in Bella's eyes it was seen different. As for the rest of you she feels in superior. I am sure Edward's letter helped her understand what he had gone through. Just give her time to think things out. Her heart is fighting with her mind and right now I don't know what is going to win out. "
They all sat there looking at me. I am sure they did not want to hear what I had said but damn it someone had to say it. Ben held my hand tighter as he knew we were lucky to have our jobs. We would still be working 4 jobs between us if it were not for Bella. We were grateful for Bella but she did not have to try as hard as she did. I noticed Alice was going to say something but shut her mouth quickly.
"Alice I am not telling you where she is but she is safe. She is going to work where she is and she will be home before Halloween or close to it. All I know is what she asked Ben and me to do while she is gone. You are all more than welcome to help as I am sure it would make Bella happy."
"Angela just what does Bella want us to do while she is gone? You know us we would do anything for her. "Emmett took Rose's hand into his.
"I know this is hard for you to deal with but she told me she will be home. She wants us to decorate for Halloween. She wants us to cut out cookies and get them ready for when she gets back. I don't know what decorations but she said for Alice to take over on that. I am sorry I didn't bring her back but I do know this she loves all of you and Edward even more."
I got up out of my chair. We were all tired and all I wanted was a hot bath. That and for Ben to join me. They all thanked me and said that they had a lot to think about. Poor Alice was beside herself but Jasper was going to stay with her. Bella said she was blessed by her family but I knew it was us that were blessed to have her.