Dark Side Strip Club

By FreeAgain and Mrz. Draco Malfoy

Chapter 3: Finally Going Rock Snogging

Previously: "Your locket is around your neck. It just like appeared." Caprice said, and then her hand went to her throat. And she felt the locket that had just materialized on her neck.

"Oh my gosh. I was so totally RIGHT."

"God damn," Caprice whispered, "lower your voice. And turn down the bloody lights!"

"But don't you see?!" Marie exclaimed, "If I am right, WHICH I TOTALLY AM-"

"Jesus Christ!" Caprice interrupted, rubbing her temples. "You're right," she placated, "now before we do all this freaking speculating, can I have a few? And what exactly happened last night?"

"Remind me never to let you have alcohol again," Marie said, then muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'bitchy.' Caprice rolled her eyes. "Come on, Viktor can probably help."

Viktor, Caprice thought. She was starting to get a vague idea of what had happened last night. At least, enough of a recollection to realize it was faintly reminiscent of the Leaky Cauldron incident. Marie grabbed Caprice's arm and led her into the kitchen where Viktor was still sitting.

"I didn't have sex with you did I?" Caprice panicked.

"Am I that revolting?" Viktor asked, raising his eyebrows in mock hurt.

"That's not what I meant, but seriously, did I?" Caprice demanded, squinting against the already dim lights.

"No," Viktor assured her. "You seem to have a bit of a hangover," he pointed out. "I wonder why that is," he teased. Caprice shot him the bird. "Well, you're just a ray of sunshine, but drink this, it'll help." Caprice immediately grabbed the glass from him and drank some of the contents warily. The effect was instantaneous, the moment the warm liquid passed Caprice's lips, her headache ebbed away and the lights seemed to grow darker.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Caprice said fervently. "What's in this?" she asked curiously.

"Basic ingredients for a Hangover Potion, for lack of a better term. You know, blood from a cat's face-" Caprice had taken another gulp, which she now spewed across Viktor's kitchen. He laughed loudly. "I was kidding, nothing bad, I promise. I bought it from the store, actually."

"Now, someone tell me exactly what happened last night, and what I did, because I don't remember anything after you-" she shot Viktor a glare, "dared me to drink a bottle of fire-whisky!" Viktor laughed loudly when he remembered Caprice's drunken state.

"Well, Caprice," he began, but Marie faked a cough before he could continue.

"Hem, hack, Lord Walmart, hem." Viktor continued, ignoring the interruption.

"You drank the whole bottle," he started, smiling in amazement. "I know a lot of grown men that can't do that, so, for that, I congratulate you. Then you became...intoxicated."

"You asked him if he beat his Bludger," Marie added, snickering. Caprice flushed. "He didn't get it, don't worry." Viktor still looked slightly confused. "I'm rather surprised he hasn't figured out your sexual innuendo, yet." A few seconds later comprehension dawned on the man's face, followed smartly by a slight pink.

"Er...shortly after, Marie tried to get you to stop drinking by taking the bottle, causing you to shout, and I quote, Back off my whisky, bitch."

"But before that you asked Viktor if your boobs looked big in your shirt. Viktor seems to be leaving off some of the more embarrassing details!" Automatically, Caprice looked down at her chest, horrified to see she was still wearing her shirt from the night before.

"I look like a whore!" Caprice whined.

"Then," Viktor persisted, "Marie tried some fire-whisky, and ended up choking it back out onto my face, downed some butterbeer, and some random man pounded into the pub, and knocked her drink out of her hands. About a dozen Quidditch players tackled him."

"I wish I remembered all this!" Caprice snapped. "This sounds hilarious, not to mention embarrassing. And I swear," she glared at Marie, "if anyone finds out about me being such a tart, I'll kill you."

"It gets better," Viktor promised.

"Or worse, depending on your view," Marie mumbled.

"So, you pulled aside one of the guys on the Irish team and told him he had nice arms and pretty eyes. He tried to get you to go home with him." Caprice's eyes widened.

"Shit," she mumbled.

"You asked if you could get a puppy on the way there," Marie told her. "I told him to go away, basically, and he did."

"So, you drank a lot more, sang like a Smurf, and some other song about riding Quidditch players," Viktor coughed uncomfortably. Caprice buried her face in her hands.

"Is there more?" she mumbled, her voice obscured by her hands.

"You jumped up on the bar stool," Marie stepped in for Viktor. "You proclaimed yourself as the," she stifled a laugh, "Dark Lord Walmart."

"Then you called Garrett, er...Anderson, back..." Viktor trailed off now.

"He tried to ask what you needed, or something like that, but you totally started making out with him," Marie told her.

"So I made out with a hot guy, but I can't remember it?!" Caprice screeched indignantly. "That's so not fair!"

"Well, he's staying in the area, so if you'd really like to make out with him again, I'm sure he'd be more than willing," Viktor said, chortling.

"I may look like one, but I am not, in any way, a slut!" Caprice said with dignity.

"You know, Marie's a lot nicer than you," Viktor commented, hoping to get a reaction.

"Well," Caprice said, not at all irritated, "I'm going to take that as a compliment, I choose not to be super freaking friendly. If everyone in the world was a ray of damn sunshine then it wouldn't be very entertaining, now would it? The nice people aren't going to rule the world." Caprice was only half kidding.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Marie said. "We all know you've got a power complex."

"But that's why you love me!" Caprice said, taking on a more sing-song voice.

"Aw, shit!" Caprice suddenly exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" Viktor asked in surprise at her outburst.

"We're missing the Blarney Stone, I've wanted to see that forever!" Caprice needed to hit something, and Viktor was right beside her.

"Hey!" he accused. "What'd you do that for?!" he demanded, rubbing his arm where Caprice had nailed it with her fist.

"Oh, did I hurt wittle Viktor Krum?" Caprice taunted. There really wasn't a reason behind the violence, except that she was irritated.

"No, I just didn't expect it," he lied. Damn, he thought to himself, she's a lot stronger than she looks.

"Cap took weight training," Marie explained, correctly interpreting his silence, she'd always been good at reading people. Almost Edward like in her knowledge of supposedly private thoughts. She liked to claim she was just observant.

"Do you not realize we just missed getting to see the Blarney Stone?! All because I had to go and get myself wasted! God damn, son-of-a-bitch," Caprice kept mumbling curses under her breath.

"Well," Viktor said, eyeing Caprice warily afraid of being hit again. He turned his attention to Marie. "I could find another guy or two and we could fly you there..." he trailed off, wondering if it was a good idea.

"Oh, my gawd!" Marie gushed. "Thank you, thank you!" She flew out of her seat and hugged Viktor. Caprice shot her the are-you-really-hugging-the-Bulgarian look, and Marie seemed to realize her actions were a bit odd. "Sorry," she apologized.

"It's alright," he assured her, patting her arm. "I'm gonna go find someone else, I'll be back in a few."

"You could be a bit nicer to him, you know?" Marie reprimanded.

"Oh, fine, I suppose," Caprice relented, not wanting an argument.

"Be nice to whoever he brings back, too, they're taking us to see the Blarney Stone, so be happy!" There was a loud pop. Caprice screamed and fell out of her seat. Viktor helped her up. No sooner had she dusted her pants off, then another loud crack resounded, and she jumped about a foot in the air. Marie laughed a bit, but when she saw the latest addition, she cackled hysterically, clutching her sides. Viktor was restraining laughter. Caprice looked at the guy. He had nice eyes. He looked vaguely familiar. He threw some fabric at her, and she automatically caught it. It was a shirt, from the looks of it, an old jersey.

"Thanks, I guess," she said warily.

"Yeah, well I didn't think you'd want to wear that out, and from what Viktor said you guys just kinda crashed here. No luggage."

"Well, thanks for considering me, as well!" Marie snapped.

"Go to my room and find something," Viktor offered.

"Thanks," she said, leaving.

"That's what friends are for," he told her. He liked the idea of having a "just friend" girl. There were too many that just wanted to sleep with him, and he found it refreshing to not have to ward off any approaches.

"I'm gonna go change, then." Caprice left the kitchen and opened a door, relieved to see a bathroom. She looked at the jersey in her hands, feeling a bit odd about wearing it, but shrugging it off. Only as she began to pull it over her head did she realize it said "Anderson" on the back.

"VIKTOR!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Marie burst in with Viktor right behind her.

"What?" Marie demanded.

"Do you see the name on the back of this shirt?" she shrieked. "That's the guy I made out with? You brought him here?"

"Well sure, he's Irish, he'll know a bit about the Blarney Stone," Viktor said innocently. Caprice huffed, but plastered a smile on her face. The three squeezed out of the small bathroom.

"I don't think we ever got properly introduced," Anderson said as they reappeared.

"I'm Caprice."

"I'm Marie."

"I'm Garrett Anderson, chaser for the Ireland Quidditch team." He smiled smugly.

"You seem modest," Caprice said, smiling slightly. "Let's go snog the rock!"

"Have you either of you flown before?" Garrett asked.

"No," Marie answered. "You see we're Muggle-ow!"

"Muggle-borns, we're Muggle-borns, so our parent's didn't think it was safe, blah, blah." Caprice shot Marie a look, and Viktor looked at them both quizzically, but chose not to point out the lie they were obviously feeding Garrett. Marie had already told him that that they were Muggles. But that wasn't part of what they had revealed to Caprice, so maybe she didn't know the cat was out of the bag.

"So lets go. Caprice can go with Anderson, since he already claimed her." Marie said laughing.

"You just want to go with Vicky." Caprice said, while making a kissy face at her friend.

"I guess I'm behind then, I haven't made out with him yet. Or almost gone home to sleep with him for that matter." Marie said, causing both Caprice and Garrett to start blushing.

"But you did go home with him didn't you?" Caprice retorted.

"Yeah, but you were in his arms, not me. Jeez, why do you get all of the guys?" Marie said, pretending to pout. "Well, why are we just standing here? Let's get going." The men stepped onto their brooms and Caprice and Marie climbed on the back, like they had seen people do on motorcycles.

-+-

Thirty minutes later they arrived at the castle the Blarney Stone was housed in, and both girls had fallen asleep against the drivers. Neither of the Quidditch players had ever had anything like that happen to them. They exchanged glances, wondering how to wake them up. Anderson decided to just give Caprice a little nudge to wake her up. But it backfired when she jumped backwards and fell off of the broom onto the ground.

"What the hell? What was that for?" Caprice yelled, still a bit out of it from just waking up. Anderson swung off his broom and held out a hand to help her up. She ignored his hand and stood up by herself. Once she dusted off the dirt she noticed that Marie was still asleep, laying against Viktor. "Hey! Wakey, wakey Marie."

"Go away." Marie mumbled, not really awake. Caprice walked over with an evil grin on her face. She poked Marie and her eyes flew open, just in time to see Caprice reach over to push her off of the broom. Instinct caused her to tighten her arms around whatever they had already been around, which just so happened to be Viktor Krum. And coincidentally both of them fell onto the ground under the broom. "OWWWWW! Get off of me."

"You are the one who pulled me off of my broom. Not really my fault that you fell asleep either." Viktor said, untangling Maries arms from around his waist.

"Well you are the one who let her push me off your broom. You could have gently pushed me off, we were 3 feet off the ground still." Marie said. And then remembered how she had ended up on the ground with a guy on top of her. She turned around slowly, and used her most potent glare on Caprice. "You."

"I fell off of my broom too. So I decided that you should share the same wake-up call that I had. I tried to wake you up, and you said go away. So it's your fault." Caprice said.

"Hey, no cat fights, girls. We came here for a reason." Viktor said, trying to avoid any blood shed. Although he didn't know if they would actually draw blood, but he remembered the punch from Caprice earlier. And that thing had hurt.

"Oh yeah. Time to go rock snogging." Caprice said, spinning around so she was facing the castle that they had to climb.

"I don't think you need to, you already have the gift of gab." Marie said, and then grabbed Caprice's hand and pulled her towards the extremely large stone building in front of them.

"Hey wait up." Anderson called from behind them.

"Aren't you supposed to be an athlete? We are wearing 5 inch heels, running through grass." Caprice yelled back to him.

"That is really sad." Marie added. The girls rushed up to the door, and went in. The inside was extremely dark and musty. Marie and Caprice looked around, but couldn't find any stairs to get up to the Blarney Stone. "Maybe you should ask your snogging buddy if he knows how to get upstairs."

"Well I would. IF HE WOULD GET HIS BUTT IN HERE." Caprice yelled the last part out the door, just as Anderson and Krum made it up the hill.

"Took you guys long enough. Now go figure out how to get us upstairs." Marie said. Her and Caprice stood back while the guys searched the entire room, trying to find a door or stairway. "Hurry up. We don't have all day."

"Well if you guys would help us we might get this done faster." Anderson retorted.

"Well you guys have wands that you can use. We don't." Caprice said.

"What happened to your wands?" Anderson asked.

"We...left them in our luggage. And we haven't gone to get it back yet." Caprice said.

"Why would you go somewhere without your wands?" Anderson asked. Marie and Viktor glanced at each other and started to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" Caprice and Anderson asked at the same time.

"Well, we both know that you are both Muggles. And you're pretending to be witches. And it is hilarious to see you try to fool Garrett into thinking you are witches." Viktor told her.

"And just so you know, we have no magical talent at all. We never even knew this world existed in real life until we stumbled upon it a couple nights ago. NOW GET US UPSTAIRS YOU IDIOTS!!!" Marie said, since no one was searching for the way up. She turned around, and immediately saw a stairwell through a doorway. She sighed, and gestured for Caprice to follow her, while the guys continued looking down the hall for a way up. As silently as they could manage they snuck out of the room, and made it all the way to the top before they heard the guys realize they were missing. They stood at the edge and watched them run outside, and even from the top of the castle they could see the looks of relief on their faces. They had obviously thought the girls had taken their brooms.

"Hey guys. You miss us." Caprice yelled down to them. They looked up surprised, and then turned back towards their brooms. The got on and started to rise in the air. "Hey, don't leave us here."

"You are just going to abandon us in the middle of no where." Marie called to them.

"Nah, we just thought it would have been much easier if we could fly up here," Viktor said as they landed beside Caprice and Marie. "Now, go do you kissing thing."

"Okay, you guys are strong. Hold onto my feet." Caprice said while sitting as close the edge as she could. Viktor and Anderson looked confused. They had never seen anyone kiss the Blarney Stone before, and didn't know how it was done.

"You have to hold her feet so she doesn't fall headfirst through the hole. She is going to bend backward through the hole so she can kiss the stone." Maire said matter-of-factly. "And then i have to do it."

"So get over here or I will hang myself down without any support." Caprice said, and both of the guys were holding onto her feet in a flash. "Much better."

"Now make sure you don't let go of her." Marie said needlessly. Nothing short of a natural disaster could have broken the hold they had on her legs. Caprice leaned backwards into the gap between the rocks until she was completely vertical, with her head down and her feet up. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to the rock in front of her.

"I did it. Now bring me back up minions." She said, and the Quidditch players immediately listened to her and she was on her feet in less than ten seconds. "Wow, I have minions now."

"My turn. And make sure you don't drop me." Marie said as she got into the same position that Caprice had started in. Garrett and Viktor grabbed her feet and she started to lean back. Suddenly out of no where an earthquake hit. And this was one of those natural disasters that broke the strong hold on her legs. She didn't even register that she was falling. She vaguely heard Caprice scream, and turn hysterical- but her attention was focused on a large blob of light that was shooting towards her. Seconds before she hit the ground it was beneath her, and she landed on top of it. Then what had happened sunk into her brain. She was probably dead right now, and this light was carrying her towards heaven. She glanced down at the 'cloud' and realized that it was actually comprised of tiny little bearded men with red vests, each carrying a minute lamp of gold or green. She uttered one word before blacking out "Leprechauns."

I hope you liked it. This story is supposed to be funny and stuff, and we are going to get to the prologue way later in the story. And I got the description of the leprechauns from the fourth harry potter book, at the quidditch world cup. And this isn't a total Harry Potter story, we just put it there because we would probably get more people from there. So if you have any story, movie, etc that you want us to add- hopefully with some hot guys that we can later add to the strip club- review and tell us. Or me. And I asked Vannah- aka Mrz. Draco Malfoy - what she wanted me to say from her. "Those fucking leprechaun bastards" was her response.

So please review and give us feedback, or anything else. And we still have spots open if you want to figure out who is who. Some hints- my website, or some chapters in her story. Remember, if you get it right we will use our creative talents in whatever way you want us to- within reason. :)