Just a word before you read. THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY. read the authors notes at the bottom to see how this came to be. So keep that in mind and just go with it. And this has mild stripping in it. So be warned.

"Draco," Sam began, hoping to clarify what she had said earlier. "There are two people in my life who I would die for. You and my grandfather. I'm not very brave, but I'd do anything in the world for the two of you. I hope you know that."

"I know, and to be perfectly honest, you're probably the only person I would risk my life for. Saying all of this makes it so much more real, though. I hate this damned war. I want it to be over."

"Do you ever get the feeling your being watched?" Sam queried.

"Yeah. I've got this feeling that somewhere, there's a ginger watching everything we're saying. It's a creepy feeling, wouldn't you say?"

"Definitely. Maybe, we're, like, on candid camera!"

"Oh, yeah! Then some camera crew's going to come out and say we've been punked!" Draco almost yelled.

"You know what'd be even weirder?"

"What?!"

"If you had a twin brother! That'd be crazy, and, like, your dad locked him up in the basement cuz he was nice to Muggles!" Sam was getting pretty worked up.

"Oh my God! That'd be so epic! Then we could start a strip club!"

"A strip club?" Sam asked skeptically.

"Yes! I'm thinking something along the lines of...Dark Side Strip Club!"

"We could make MILLIONS!" Sam screamed, jumping up and down on the bed. "HERMIONE!" she yelled. Draco shot her an odd look. "Come on," she grabbed his hand and drug him down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked.

"WE'RE GOING TO START A STRIP CLUB!" Sam yelled. "Draco's going to be a male stripper! How awesome is this?!"

"Strippers are supposed to be attractive," Hermione pointed out.

"HEY! HE'S DAMN GORGEOUS! But what if he's not a good stripper?" she fretted. "Strip." she commanded.

"Excuse me?" Draco asked, less excited now.

"WE CAN'T MAKE MILLIONS IF YOU CAN'T STRIP IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!" she yelled. "We need music." She looked at Hermione. A deep bass song filled the air.

"I SAID STRIP!" she screamed. Draco began moving to the beat. After about thirty seconds, he took his shirt off. Hermione froze. She witnessed what Sam must have realized long ago. Draco Malfoy is a God. He continued, and pretty soon Sam and Hermione were squirming uncomfortably, much too turned on than was safe. Harry was struck by a strange thought.

If I was gay, I would jump him, Hary thought to himself. About two minutes later, the strip tease was over, and, much to Sam's disappointment (Hermione's as well, though she would never admit to it) Draco's boxers were still on.

"Er..." Hermione squeaked out. "I'd say that'd be a fairly decent show."

"You're just jealous that I've seen him WITHOUT the boxers," Sam said slyly.

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm jealous, but...he's not half bad looking," Hermione consented.

"Toldya he was gorgeous," Sam taunted.

` "But is he...immortal?" a strange voice sounded from the front door. Sam screamed, and Hermione fell to the floor in shock. "Allow me to introduce myself, ladies," his voice was like melted honey. "And gentlemen." His eyes lingered a little too long on Draco's half, well three-fourths, naked body. "I'm Edward Cullen. Vampire by day, amazing stripper by night."

"Vampire, stripper, homo," Draco taunted.

"Yes, yes I am," Edward consented.

"Are you really?" Ron asked, a bit too interested.

"Yes, now let me demonstrate my mind altering ways," Edward said haughtily. "I'm going to need a pole...you, redhead, be my pole," he commanded. Harry snickered as Ron stuttered, turning a violent shade of maroon to rival the annual Christmas sweater. Edward seemed to vanish and reappear in the next second, only this time, he was carrying a boom box. He pressed a button and a song about milkshakes filled the air. Edward ran a hand over his make-shift pole, aka Ronald. Draco sat down next to Sam on the floor, watching a little apprehensively. Neither Hermione nor Sam could deny that he was, probably, the best looking person ever. He began to slowly unbutton his, no doubt, very expensive shirt. His pale chest was flawlessly smooth and very chiseled. He had less modesty than Draco, that much was obvious, as he ground to the beat in a very seductive manner.(on the pole) His lack of modesty was shown when the song came to an end and he started to remove his last article of clothing.

"Er...that's really not necessary, is it?" Harry asked. He had seen enough of the male anatomy to last him a life-time already. Ron, however, seemed a bit randy, for lack of a better word. He seemed to have pitched a tent. A tent that Edward was eyeing openly.

"Would you like a tour of the house?" Ron suggested, his voice barely more than a squeak. As they nearly ran off, Hermione gave an audible huff of anger.

"He rather gave me the impression he was straight," she sniffed.

"Well," Sam said, all business. "I would say we should add ol' Eddie to the roster of strippers. He'll bring in a pretty big gay crowd. After all, customers are customers."

"Do you have any more openings, madam?" a very deep voice asked from the front door. The men were multiplying like rabbits! Rabbits I say! Not to mention, they were going at it like rabbits. This man had an olive complexion with ebony hair and obsidian eyes to match. He practically oozed sex appeal. Hermione was immediately flustered.

"Well, I would say that would depend on if you were a good stripper or not, wouldn't it?" Sam said.

"Hey, hey," Draco said, getting defensive. "No being all flirty flirty with the employees," he said, giving her a surly look.

"Does that mean I'm not allowed to be all "flirty flirty" with you?" she asked. He stammered a bit, but she just laughed, pecking him on the cheek.

"My name is Murtagh, and I am a brilliant stripper."

"You have a specific song you want?" Hermione asked breathlessly.

"Sex on Fire," he said with a wink in her direction. Hermione waved her wand and yet another song filled the air. He gestured to Hermione, silently asking her to join him in what was sure to be another epic strip. She stood up, blushing all the while. He slowly began pulling his worn t-shirt over his head. When it was finally gone, he grabbed Hermione's hands bringing them to his bare arms, Hermione shivered, but shook her head. There was NO way she could do that without jumping him right there in front of the others. She staggered a few feet away, taking a seat again, but smiling at Murtagh slightly. He didn't look crestfallen, probably realizing he wasn't being scorned. He continued his stripping, very very slowly removing his leather pants.

"Stop drooling," Draco snapped, crossing his arms.

"I'm not drooling," Sam whispered. Murtagh finally stopped after fiddling with the waist band of his underwear teasingly.

"Drool is a deadly sin, you know?" Sam said, more loudly this time.

"So, you know I've got a pretty impressive dragon," Murtagh said to Hermione as he pulled back on his clothing.

"I'll bet you do," Hermione said, unable to control her words. "You wanna, I dunno, see the house?" Hermione suggested with no attempt at subtlety, using Ron's earlier line.

"How about you come with me, and I'll show you Thorn," he suggested instead. "He's not far."

"Alright," Hermione conceded, willing to go ANYWHERE that involved Murtagh. The front door shut behind them.

"How much you wanna bet they do it on the back of his dragon?" Sam challenged.

"Ten sickles, Hermione wouldn't do that," Harry argued. Needless to say, Sam soon gained ten sickles.

"So..." Draco began awkwardly. "Weasley's batting for the other team."

"Well, I figured as much. I share a dorm with him, he moans your name in his sleep quite a lot, actually," Harry said, remarkably blase. Draco shuddered and dry heaved briefly.

"That's disgusting," he managed to choke out. "I feel very unclean just thinking about that," he shuddered again.

"So we officially have three strippers," Sam said, writing down the names.

"We could get Blaise to do it, probably," Draco added. Then, like magic, Blaise was at the front door.

"I'd reckon so," Blaise said with a smirk. Suddenly, Ginny came through the front door.

"Hello Harry!" she said brightly. "Where's Mione?"

"Er...she had to step out for a bit," Harry said evasively.
"Where's Ron?" she asked.

"Upstairs," Harry answered shortly.

"Going at with a gay vampire," Sam supplied. Ginny nodded, not seeming surprised. Then she looked around for the first real time.

"Two more questions, then," Ginny said. "Why is Malfoy naked and what is he doing here?" she gestured to where Blaise stood.

"Oh, well, we're starting a strip club," Sam said. "Draco, Edward, and Murtagh are all going to be strippers, and Blaise just showed up. Do you want a job, Blaise?" she diverted her attention from Ginny to Blaise.

"Shouldn't we make sure he's a decent stripper?" Ginny asked.

"I can see where this is going," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, um...Ginny can be the judge of that, let us know if he's up to standard, 'kay, babe?" Sam said, waving them off. Blaise and Ginny looked at each other for a moment, shrugged and headed upstairs, barely making it to the first room.

"That's my room, isn't it?" Harry asked, shaking his head in irritation.

"Yup," Draco confirmed. He opened his mouth to talk again, but the front door burst open. Three teenage girls plowed their way through.

"Come on, Damien!" the taller red-headed girl commanded. She pulled through the door what could have been Draco Malfoy's twin.

"Who the bloody hell are all of you?" Draco demanded.

"I'm Marie." She was the one that had brought the Draco doppleganger in.

"I'm Caprice!" the brunette said with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Clarissa Fray, but I prefer Clary," the tiny red-head introduced herself.

"Damien," the only male introduced.

"Not to be rude," Harry began, "But that didn't really answer the question." Before any of the new-comers could explain another girl walked through the door.

"Riley!" Marie exclaimed.

"Thought you'd forgotten about me," Riley said, acting surly. "You haven't written a chapter in God knows how long!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Marie said, abashed. "I haven't got a whole lot of free time at the moment."

"Oh my God! Draco Malfoy!" Caprice squealed.

"Yes," Draco said warily.

"It's like all of my sick fan-girl fantasies come true. Draco Malfoy sitting naked in the same room I'm in."

"Back off!" Sam said, standing up. "He's my fiancee!" she snapped.

"Only cuz I said so!" Caprice taunted.

"Excuse me?" Sam demanded.

"I CREATED YOU, WE-OTCH!" Caprice screamed.

"EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU HAPPENED BECAUSE I WILLED IT TO BE SO. I'M LIKE GOD IN YOUR WORLD. I OWN YOU! PWN I SAY!" Caprice yelled at her. "And Marie owns Riley! I wrote this story where Draco was in love with a Muggle-born! Her name was Peyton!"

"What happened to her?" Harry asked.

"You know, I haven't decided yet. There are three current options. The first, they're...er...nevermind. No spoilers!" the crazy one decided. "The point is, Draco is rightfully mine! Marie gets Damien, which is the beauty minus the attitude. Their's is a recent development, actually. They make a lovely couple, don't you think?" she babbled on.

"Shut up, Cap!" Marie said, blushing.

"Alright, I've got an idea," Sam said, pulling out her wand. "I won't get in trouble unless you make it so, so just make sure I don't get caught doing magic." She pointed her wand at Draco. "Dopplegangara!" she said sharply, and immediately, another Draco was sitting beside the original.

"SWEET!" Caprice exclaimed. "I get a Draco," she sang.

"I get Damien!" Marie sang, mocking her.

"This is so weird," Sam whispered to Draco.

"I know," he replied quietly. "Where did this even start?"

"You know, I'm not actually sure," Sam admitted.

"And when did this place become some sort of a sex house?" Harry demanded.

"It's a sex house?" Clary asked him. Harry stared at her for a few seconds.

"Yes," he finally decided. Clary smiled brightly and made for the stairs, motioning for Harry to follow her.

"What just happened?" Riley asked.

"I think Harry just ran off with Clary into his room...no wait, his room is taken. I think their in a bathroom. Weird," Draco mused. Quickly, Damien and Marie disappeared to the kitchen, claiming to want some water, but they both wanted water, or something like that.

"Alright, Marie and Damien are having sex in the kitchen now. This is kind of odd, but interesting," Draco 2.0 said.

"Uh-huh," Caprice said, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the dining room.

"WE HAVE TO EAT ON THAT TABLE!" Sam yelled.

"I'm going outside before you two jump each other in front of me," Riley whined. No sooner had the door closed behind her than Draco's boxers were quickly discarded. Riley sat down on the porch (yes i realize there is no porch, this is my made up world, don't ruin it for me) and folded her arms.

"Hey!" she looked up to see a guy with violently blue hair. "Apparently there's some sort of strip club job opening! I need a job! Who should I talk to?" he asked. Riley assessed him.

"Here's the deal," she said. "Everyone's in there going at it like dogs in heat, so I really don't think now would be a good time."

"Why are you not in there?" he asked, confused.

"Ran out of guys, I s'pose," she mumbled.

"I'm a guy," he pointed out. "You can tell them if I'm up to the job, right? I'm bored, you're bored." She shrugged.

"Why not?"

This was officially the strangest night ever.

Hi lovely readers, MrzDracoMalfoy here! This all started as me TRYING to write a chapter of Accidental Savior on Google Docs. If any of you are aware of how Google Docs works, you know that the collaborators (betas in this case) can watch you type as you type it. So i look up in the corner and see "also editing now:Free Again" So then I just kind of get creeped out and go crazy. I was on cold medication, very tired, and this was the first time in days where I was having any sort of fun writing. So this is NOT an actual chapter, obviously, but merely our way of saying we haven't forgotten this story, nor have I forgotten Accidental Savior, but we're busy. Eventually, we will replace this chapter with the actual chapter, but think of this as advertisement and our goofy gift to our readers. This chapter might warrant an M rating, now that I think about it, but deal with it. I had a lot of fun writing this, it's probably horribly obnoxious to the most of you, but Free Again enjoyed reading it, I think. Speaking of Free Again, here's a note from her:

Yeah. So what she said. And Sam is from MrzDracoMalfoy's story Accidental Savior. Which is what the first few lines are from. And Riley is from my story The Other Side. Even though she wasn't as big in it as Sam. And then there was Marie and Caprice. Who you should know by now is us. Now about the story, we have recently started school- like a month ago- and we have barely anytime to ourselves with out doing school stuff. So please don't get mad at us, we really are trying to write- but we have tons of homework and other stories we have to write also. So anyway, if you have something you want to see in this story just leave a review and tell us. And if you want us to write you a story you can still guess who's who.

Love,

Free Again & MrzDracoMalfoy