Disclaimer: All mentioned characters are property of J.K. Rowling.

Chapter 5. Confrontations

Another two days went by before James lost it. He had had enough. And, as Lily was then again working in their shared common room, she suddenly heard the door bang open behind her as James entered. Before she knew it, she'd pounced from her chair, knots filling her stomach.

"James! I didn't - euh... I'm just gonna go. " And before he even had the time to react, she was making a break for the door, hair flying behind her.

"Lily! Wait!"

She paused, not daring to turn. She knew her face was flushed. Her heart pounding in her chest, but try as she might, she couldn't will it back under control. She couldn't for the life of her figure out how she could have thought working in the head's common room could ever have been a good idea. But James had respected her space and her need to bolt every time he had tried approaching her in the past week. Of course that wouldn't last though. It is James Potter we're talking about here. And in that moment, she could feel the panic making its way to her chest, pressing against her lungs. Her control was waning and it's all because she wants him so badly.

"Lily... you know... What's going on? " His voice was almost a whisper by the time he reached his question, not sure he really wants to know the answer. He doesn't understand anymore, can't.

"I - James. I just - euh... I have some things to do... "

"Bullocks!" His voice ringing loudly this time, filled with anger and loneliness and oh so many things he can't even decipher anymore. This is too much, and it's gone on long enough. "You've been avoiding me..."

"What? No..." She tries to cut him off but he won't back down now. He won't just let her slip away for something foolish. Because he knows it has to be foolish. Everything between them was finally falling into place, going perfectly. And then she just... bolted.

"Don't pretend! I don't get you Lily! First you hate me. And ok, fine! I get that, I was a prick with an overinflated ego always going after your best friend. Fine! But then we get along... are almost friends even! And I think that hey! we actually probably are friends. I'm friends with Lily Evans! After that, we nearly become best friends, we hang out, we talk. And now here we are, co-heads. And I'm thinking; great I get to spend more time with her, get to show her that I can take this seriously. I can do things right, be mature... you know? And here I am thinking that it's going wonderfully, that you're finally warming up to me! That maybe we could be more than friends. And all of a sudden, nothing! You can't look at me, can't even stand being in the same ROOM as me!" He's livid now, as he spreads his arms wide showing off the room they're in. All of his emotions are pouring through him, his voice growing in intensity all the while, and by now he's practically screaming, but he doesn't care anymore. Because he just can't take it! Can't take that he's losing her, when he started to let himself believe, against all his good judgement, that maybe, just maybe she'd give him a true chance.

"James... " she starts in a sad whisper. She can see his pain and it's killing her. Truly killing her, but she just can't, can't because she knows what happens to muggle-borns and blood-traitors, and she can't be a burden or danger for him, not more then she already is...

"NO! " he cuts her off again. "NO! Remus knows about this, and he won't tell me a bloody thing! So is that it then?" he trails off suddenly, his voice falling nearly to a whisper. "That's it isn't it? You two... you two are. dating. aren't you?"

His voice cracks and seems broken to her ears and it breaks her heart. Could he? Could he still feel that way about her, after all this time? Could he feel so strongly for her? No probably not. Just the whims of a man's ego. At least it's what she tells herself to quell the pain in her chest.

"Remus and I aren't seeing each other James. We're just friends."

"RIGHT!" and he's yelling again "Right of course! So that's why all of a sudden he's telling you about all of his secrets, about his furry little problem even! RIGHT!" The anger is back in his voice now, because he can't take it anymore. All these lies.

And all of a sudden, she's angry, bloody fuming because he just doesn't get it and she' sick and tired of all of this! And so now she's yelling, and she's no longer controlling what's coming out of her mouth... doesn't care really.

"That's BULLOCKS and you KNOW IT! I'm NOT dating Remus, I don't INTEND to date Remus! I've known about his furry little problem, like you call it, since FOURTH YEAR! And WHY do you THINK that I've spent so many DAMN NIGHTS supposedly sleeping in the Common Room HUH!? For FUN maybe!? For the comfort!?"

And now James is opening his mouth wanting to yell back at her. But he's gaping at her not knowing what to say.

"NO!" she continues "NO! I've been sleeping there, or pretending to anyways, to make sure that YOU, all of you were ok! Because I don't know how you do it, but I KNOW that you guys are there with him! And I get that, but I want you to be safe."

"As if you care..." he says almost inaudibly. But she hears him, and if he thought that she was yelling before, that he had ever really heard her yelling, he was in for a big surprise.

"OF COURE I CARE! OF COURSE I DO!"

"WHY WOULD YOU! YOU'VE ALWAYS HATED US, EXCEPT REMUS OF COURSE! ALWAYS BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM. YOU WERE WORRIED WE'D TURN HIM INTO A MURDERER. IS THAT IT!?"

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH REMUS, POTTER!"

"LIKE HELL IS DOESN'T, YOU FANCY HIM DON'T YOU? YOU FANCY HIM AND HE FANCIES YOU! OF COURSE HE WOULD, WHY WOULDN'T HE? THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME, WHY HE WON'T ASWER MY QUESTIONS... YOU..."But she never let him finish. She was livid when she yelled back.

"I DON'T FANCY HIM JAMES!" And all of a sudden her voice dropped "I don't..." but he wasn't done, it had taken his toll and he wasn't ready to back off...

"Then WHY!?"

"Because I'm in LOVE with YOU!" She yelled back, having found her voice again.

Both of them fell silent then, both with their mouths hanging open and eyes wide. She hadn't meant to say it. Didn't want him to know. But there it was, hanging between them and she couldn't take it back. So she did the only thing she could. She turned and she ran, tears threatening to fall.