Jason Morgan and Alexis Davis, canon

September 2010

Instant Addiction

Part 25

Johnny clung to Emily, in her doorway, burying his face in her sweet smelling hair. She finally let him go and that is when he noticed Patrick there. "Hi, man."

Patrick nodded. "I should get home. Lucky for me, its just a short walk. Good night."

"Thanks for everything," Emily told him before she gave Patrick a very grateful smile.

"Thank you, man, for looking after my family," Johnny said.

Patrick nodded. He headed out the door, across the lawn, and then he went into his own home, while Emily was locking her door.

Johnny asked her"How's our girl?"

"She's sleeping. She's fine. No fever today at all."

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Johnny was eight hours late and he knew Emily had to be worried and also fuming. In an emotion filled whisper he told her, "I'm so sorry, baby."

Baby. He hadn't called her that in nine months. Since she was pregnant and yelling at him to get out of her life because he didn't really know her. Lucky knew her. Sonny knew her. Patrick knew her. Nikolas knew her. All her girlfriends like Liz, Gia, and Robin knew her so well. But Johnny...he was from after...when she was Rebecca...and he didn't know shit about Emily.

Except he did.

He knew her body and that spot on her neck that made her moan. He knew how she liked her pizza and he knew what movies she would refuse to watch- violent action flicks with former wrestlers or the governor of California topped her don't list. And he knew she was scared of not being good enough for anyone. He knew he loved her. He knew she meant everything to him.

But all she knew was that he fell for Rebecca and Rebecca was a figment of Helena's evil imagination.

Johnny went on "I'm sorry I didn't pick you two up today."

"What happened? Was it work? There was no way you could call?"

"It wasn't work. It was Jane."

Anger jumped into her eyes. And Emily angry could get so ugly. She rarely went there but when she did, it was loud and it was life changing. He liked seeing that anger though because it meant she gave a damn.

"If it was Jane then just get out! OUT! She was who you needed more than seeing about me and your daughter? Then go back to Jane! I pushed you to her in the first place. Well, there's the door, walk out it and find your way back to her, Johnny! I'm sure whatever Jane needed that took eight hours was worth your daughter's whole future!"

"She tried to kill herself."

Emily stilled. "What?"

"She took my gun and she threatened to shoot herself. I ended things with her a few days ago but she showed up at my place, crying, and she wouldn't calm down...and then she hugged me and wouldn't leave go...I was really scared for her...and then she grabbed my gun. It took hours to talk her down and then I had to take her to the Shadybrook, wait for her Mom to show up, and explain everything....I didn't call because I didn't have my cell and by the time I was at the hospital and she was checked in...It was just a half an hour ago...I figured I'd just come here and explain in person. I didn't call the cops on her because I don't want this getting in the papers and haunting her for life."

"I did this to her. I made her crazy."

"No. She was messed up before I met her. If anything, I did this. I knew I couldn't ever love her and I used her."

"Do you think she'll be okay?"

"I'll keep checking with her Mom but I don't think I should ever see her again. It might trigger a relapse, once she gets past whatever is going on in her head right now."

"God, Johnny. We've made such a disaster. For that woman and for our own baby and for ourselves...or I did. You wanted to be here all along....didn't you?"

He held her arms. "You know I did. I love you, Emily."

"I still love you, too. Now what though? Can we get us back?"

"Now we start over. We date and we try to give our kid a family she feels safe in."

"And we give her your last name."

Emily had been determined to raise her daughter alone so gave her Quatermaine for her last name.

His eyes lightened with unshed tears. "Great idea."

"Lucia Bowen Zacchara. A little bit of Lucky, me and you. Not too bad for a baby girl's name."

"I like it."

She smiled softly and leaned closer to him. He gave her a soft kiss. "Lets go up and see Luce."

Emily smiled wider. "You're such a sucker for her."

"She's perfect. Just like her Mom."

"She is perfect. She looks like her Daddy. Your hair, and your eyes and your nose and your ears....she just has my lips and cheekbones."

"She was made in love, Emily. Never doubt that, okay? I loved you then and I love you now and I'd take you back even if you made me wait fifty years instead of nine months."

"I don't want to make you wait anymore, Johnny." She took his hand and led him upstairs. They crept into their daughter's room. "There's Daddy little angel. I'm glad you're her father...I know I always made you think I wanted Lucky instead....I'm sorry for that."

"Whenever I thought that I just remembered back to what it was like...you and me locked up in that suite at the Cosmopolitan for a week straight....and I told myself....he'd never make you as scream like I did...at least he better not."

Emily giggled. And then covered his mouth, playfully, with her hand. "There is a baby present. Save those memories for when its all adult time."

Pushing her hand down, he gave her a very heated kiss and soon they were in her bedroom making love at a frantic and desperate pace.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She's a smart woman. Brave, usually. But, damn, is she complicated. She's kept secrets from the world for all of her life. She was born a secret and she is the keeper of secrets.

But Alexis does not lie to herself.

So she has known the truth all along. She just prefers to talk really fast around the truth. And that is what she did when Jason came back into the hotel room.

She started babbling and he just stood there, looking a little drunk and a lot mad and really confused about them.

"Listen, I know you're worried about tomorrow and what Sam will say, and so am I. And this worry has made us both a little crazy today. Just look at what happened. I yelled at you. I don't yell at you. Unless you give me reason to yell then, of course, I would. But you were just standing there on the docks saying very nice things to me and I yelled. So that proves I'm emotionally frazzled and you, though stoic most times, seem to also be teetering on the brink. And that's okay. Teeter. I can take that. I'm not scared of you being emotional or upset or pissed off. Its refreshing. The cool facade is broken for someone other than Carly....why did I say her name? I don't want her in this conversation. My point is...Jason....we are both very stressed out and when you asked me to say what I wanted...you asked at a delicate time and that is why I didn't answer right away...not because I'm unsure....I know that we work well together. I do think we should try and keep this going, if at all possible. Don't you agree?"

He didn't answer. He walked over to a chair, sat down, and took off his boots. With a thud, they both hit the floor.

She said "Jason, answer me. Don't shut down like we're five and I just kicked sand in your face at the playground. Like you're just going to take your toys back and go home. You need to talk to me about this."

"There's nothing left to say. You've already made up your mind."

Each word was ice cold. So cold he didn't even feel like her Jason anymore.

"What does that mean? I've made up my mind. That doesn't even answer my question. Have you changed your mind about us?"

"You're determined to let Sam choose your future. So what do you want me to say to you right now?"

"Look. Its after 1 am and I'm exhausted. I have court in the morning with that battle ax judge who has a vendetta against me and I have to meet my daughter for dinner and tell her something no daughter would ever want to hear. So, could you please, stop making this all so much worse on me?"

He stood up, ripped off his shirt, and came to bed in just his jeans. Flipping off the light, he lay down, as she sat on the bed still. His silence was deafening. Gone was the man who was going to force her to put up a fight for them.

And still, as she lay next to him, not touching in the dark, she hadn't admitted the truth.

The truth: If she fights for him not only may she lose Sam...but also it will mean she has to open up to Jason that part of her heart up that she protects and maybe she'll lose Jason one day anyway.

If she fights for him...she'll have to let him love all of her.

If she fights for him.....she'll have to risk everything. Her heart and soul breaking again. More than she risked for Ric. And she married that man.

If she fights for Jason....that means she can't live without Jason. That means more than her saying she desires him in her future. Sure she does. They're great together. But can't live without him?

God in Heaven, can she go there for any man ever again? Does he even know what he is asking her?

She figured he must. Because in all he had said Jason Morgan already admitted that he can't live without her.

And any man who admitted that would feel sick if the woman looked back at him with unsure eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jason woke up to the feel of Alexis sliding his zipper down on his jeans. His eyes popped open. Early morning, just after dawn, sunlight came through the window.

"Alexis," he murmured, while she slipped her hands into his boxers.

"Shhh...this is just a dream."

Damn. This woman was so fucking hot that it was no wonder she drove him crazy. "I don't....dream....hardly ever."

She was stroking him.

"Then this is a fantasy, Jason." She licked up the length of him.

He let out a groan of pleasure.

He hadn't thought they'd ever make love again so this was like a gift. One last time when she was completely undone and wild and intense and turned on and screaming over him. Because he knew, now that her mouth was on him, he had to get inside of her again. Feel that warmth. That heat. That tightness.

Feel her one more time before she completely gave up on loving him.

XXXXXXXXXXX

When he was throbbing and thick and just about to come, Jason said, in a deep, lust filled tone, "Alexis," the word telling her to stop.

She kept sucking him, her mouth a tight suction on his cock, her hands caressing him. Silently telling him to go ahead.

Jason didn't want to come though.

Because then he would have to wait a while and get hard again. Usually that was fine because he could pleasure her but at the state they were right now she might talk herself out of that and just head for the shower to get ready for going home, getting her girls off to school and herself off to work. Jason didn't want to risk that.

He grunted out "Let me fuck you."

She eased off him. She was wearing a button up mauve shirt and white panties. Her eyes were wide with plenty of questions about them. She knew he was mad at her.

He wasn't even sure she really wanted them to last.

But he knew one thing. He wanted to make love with her another time. Wanted to come inside of her.

Jason told her "Strip for me."

She stood up and started to unbutton her shirt, while her eyes held his. He could see she was giving him her trust in that moment. And somehow, in all the memorable sex they had- that time with the handcuffs, that time they couldn't talk at all because the kids were sleeping and they made slow, sweet, silent love to each other, and the time he put the nipple rings on her- they hadn't had as much trust as in that moment of her stripping.

Because now there was anger and pain and there was fear between them. Now it really wasn't just sex.

Not that it ever really had been just sex. Jason never thought of it that way. He wanted a deeper connection with her from their kiss on the balcony at the Metro Court.

Alexis let her shirt fall from her shoulders. She placed her thumbs in her panties and pushed them down. She stepped out of them.

Jason told her "Let me see you touch yourself for me."

She bit her bottom lip. She placed one foot on the bed and then slipped a finger into herself.

Jason let out a moan. His hand went to his own cock. He asked her "Do you get how much I want you in my life? Don't you....don't you want me?"

She whimpered lustfully as she sped up her finger.

Jason quickly stood up, picked up Alexis, laid her on the bed, then slammed into her, with her legs pushed up to her chest.

He thrusts were quick and relentless for a few minutes, and then he slowed down, as he started a gentle pace.

She was sweaty and breathing hard. He kissed her with a sensual sweetness. After long minutes he moved his mouth to her ear "Give up if you want to. I can't stop you and I won't beg you. But....just know....know...I'd make a life with you...if you let me."

She dug her nails into his back as her body convulsed with an orgasm. "JASON!"

The sound of her screaming his name made him come.

Alexis ended up giving him one more kiss, after he rolled off of her, and then she slipped from bed and went to take a shower. Within an hour they were on his bike again, after a few cups of coffee they shared in near silence, and then they were heading home.

Heading-quite possibly- straight into two broken hearts.

Note- The sex Jason thought about took place on the Mon-Wednesday time period between the chapter where Lucia goes into the hospital and the chapter with Alexis' cooking lesson with Sonny. It was not shown in this story.