Jason Morgan and Alexis Davis, canon

September 2010

Instant Addiction

Part 26

Alexis stood next to Jason's bike, early Friday morning, after he brought her home from their night in a hotel in Rochester. The guards were all around.

Jason was still sitting on his bike. Alexis took off her helmet and handed it to him. "Do you want to come in and see the girls?"

The girls. Her little gifts to share with him. He missed his own kids and hers always made him smile.

"I should get on home."

Now he wouldn't even take that small pleasure from Alexis. She stiffened. Their little life together was unraveling. Two weeks and she would already miss him desperately. "That's fine. Have a good day at work then."

"You too."

Cold. That's how he was now. And she only had herself to blame. "Good bye, Jason."

He just put back on his helmet, revved up his bike, and left without another word. Alexis watched him go. All his words to her about needing a future with her rang in her head:

Do you get how much I want you in my life? Don't you....don't you want me?

Don't lay down and give up.

Just know....know...I'd make a life with you...if you let me.

I'm not giving you up.

Jason Morgan. The man who they called Stone Cold. But sometimes he wasn't. Sometimes he was just lonely, and he was just hurt, and he was just sad, and he was just in love.

And Alexis had let him think that didn't matter to her. But it did. She knew that her daughter had to matter too....and that her heart was scared to love Jason back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I should have known better!" Carly screamed at Alexis, just after court broke for recess.

The court was clearing as people headed to lunch. People stared at Carly, as she stood in the aisle.

Alexis rushed toward her. "SHHHH! This is a public place. This is my workplace. You can't do whatever you are thinking about doing here." She grabbed Carly's arm. "You see that burly gentleman over there in the uniform with the gun? That is Mr. Bailiff...Jim... and he likes me. Don't make him arrest you today."

Carly jerked her arm back. Her eyes were filled with fury. She hissed at Alexis "I trusted you."

"What are you going on about? I'm in the middle of an attempted murder case. I don't have time for you. Whatever I did...missed a play date....called Jax when it was your time...which you seem to think is all the time except for, of course, when you are occupied with your other men. Like Sonny and Jason and poor Max, who Diane is lucky she does not want to marry-since she doesn't believe in that institution- because he will never really be over you. Whatever I did in your mind....I'm sorry."

"You think that cuts it?"

Alexis sighed, glancing around at the few people who were still in the courtroom. "Can we continue this arguement later? I have to use the bathroom, get some lunch and make a phone call. This is only an hour recess."

"Nothing comes before Jason."

Alexis stilled.

Carly went on "You thought I wouldn't find out? You shouldn't have ever laid a hand on him if this is what you planned to do to him."

"And what is it you believe I've done?"

"He's hurt! You hurt him!"

"What did Jason tell you?"

"He doesn't have to tell me anything and he wouldn't because he's protecting you. But I could see with my own eyes when I went to his office. So why don't you clue me in on exactly how you messed up and what you plan to do to fix this."

"Isn't this where you tell me to keep 100 feet between me and Jason for the rest of my life?"

"That's what I'd tell someone like Liz, sure. This is a different circumstance though. Stop talking around the issue and start doing your blabbering thing about how you are going to make my best friend happy again! And quick. Cause if my earrings and rings come off....Jim won't be able to save you."

Alexis rolled her eyes at the dramatics of it all. She grabbed her briefcase. "I'm going to the ladies room. Nature comes before your wrath."

Carly stalked after her. "You might as well tell me what happened because he will tell me. Eventually he tells me everything that really matters. But he'll hold out till it just about kills him. So you give it up. What was the fight about? And if you were stupid enough to pick another man over him then, really, Alexis, you are just too dumb to live and the judge should replace you with a box of hair because your client would have a better chance of getting off."

Alexis walked into the bathroom and looked for a stall. There was only one open. The one that had a broken door for months. "Can you hold this door?"

Carly sighed.

Alexis went in the stall. Carly held the door.

Carly ranted "He's so hurt. I can't believe you could do this to him. Do you want to end up back with someone psycho like Ric or Jerry? Do you want to lose the best man to ever love you? And probably the man that gave you the best sex you've ever had!"

"Could you consider using a little decorum? What do you think?"

Other women came out of stalls and washed their hands.

Carly went on "I still haven't heard your confession of guilt! Did you fuck around with someone else?"

"Be quiet, you loud mouth harpy!"

Carly huffed. Alexis came out of the stall. She whispered "If you must know, we never told Sam about us and she's coming home today. That's it."

"That caused all this? I don't think so! I want the truth. And if you don't give it to me then....I'm putting you on warning...I very well may withdraw my support of this relationship."

"Ohhhhhh." Alexis pretended to shiver. She walked over to the sink and washed her hand. "Well then I guess Jason will leave me since you're no longer on board."

"You think it doesn't matter what I think? It matters. He won't leave you. But will you ever have a moment of absolute, no ghosts haunting him, pure bliss again? No. Because I'll be there in the room with you. What I think about you two will be there...and it will linger in his head...and make everything so much harder for him....until one day he'll stop trying and you'll be yesterday's heartbreak, like the rest of them."

Alexis looked in the mirror at Carly. "You honestly believe what you're saying, don't you? Amazing! The narcissism has reached new levels in you. I don't know how many times a week you see Dr. Winters but you better up it!"

"It's the truth. If I'm against you and Jason, then he won't be as happy as he could be. But I don't want that. I want him happy. He told me you were the one who was gonna make him happy again. But I didn't see happy today in his eyes. So, tell me, what in the hell have you done to my best friend?"

"Are you going to pull my hair now?"

"This isn't a game!"

The bathroom cleared out.

Alexis went over and locked the bathroom door. Someone tried to come in. "Out of Order!" she yelled. She looked at Carly. "Listen to me.....butt out."

"Never. I love him."

"You're married to Jax. Love him!"

"I do. I love my husband in a way you'll never understand and we're happy. But Jason will always be my other half....and I believed in you and him. Now you let me down. And you let him down. And we're both very disappointed and I'm pissed off and I just don't know if I can forgive you this time."

"Oh, well, I think I'll somehow survive if you don't."

"How can you be so flippant? This is Jason we're talking about here."

In a softer tone, Alexis said "I know that."

Letting out a calming breath, Carly asked "What happened?"

"Nothing but what I said. Sam's coming home. She'll probably hate the idea of her mother being with her former lover...fiance...her want-to-be baby daddy...the man she wanted to raise my grandchild with. She'll be rightfully upset and that will cause problems. Jason is just worried, as am I. We're trying to cope with the impending fall out and we don't need you making it any worse with your hysterics."

"He isn't worried. He's hurt. And if you really don't know why then I need to go back to his office and find out."

"Carly, don't! Leave him work! You mess with his head and he could be killed today. Do you want that on your conscious?"

"What are you working overtime to hide from me? I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

Alexis sighed. "You help me. Sure. That is a definite sign of the apocalypse."

"I'd do anything for Jason, and anything to help someone he loves. You're the woman Jason loves now."

"Don't throw around the L word, please, and kindly take your nosy, skinny ass out of my relationship."

"Not a chance! You're the second woman that I'm allowing to be with him and this time, neither Jason nor I, plan to give up easily. So you better shape up! SHAPE UP!"

Alexis covered her ears. "Did you take your pills today?"

"Ha ha. If only this was funny. He's hurt and you caused it. What did you say to him? Was there a fight?"

"Do you really want to help Jason and I work out?"

"I don't want him miserable again so yeah. I've come to terms with the fact that its you. I mean it could be worse. Hell, it has been worse! Robin the Saint. Liz the Martyr. Both little girls who can't handle Jason. And, even worse, they messed with his head. Tried to tell him how to think and feel and live and tell him I was a bitch for loving him as is."

"And somehow you believe I'm better for him?"

"Are you who I'd pick? No."

"As if you'd pick anyone. Really. Sell that story somewhere else. I have to go get lunch and no, you may not join me."

"We aren't done here! I wouldn't pick you for Jason....if he let me pick and if it couldn't be me, which it can't be right now because I'm happy with Jax and we've both decided Maggie Jay deserves a happy childhood. So since it can't be me, if I could pick, then I'd pick someone like Olivia. She's street smart and she's tough, ballsy, she don't take shit from nobody. But Jason doesn't want Olivia...he wants you! Okay, so I can make adjustments. I always do. I can deal with how things have ended up. But only if you are good to him....he spent so long feeling not good enough for Liz and her fantasy life that she tried to make him believe they could have....he can't go back to that place in his head. I didn't think you'd send him back there...and especially so soon! You know him. You know what you're doing to him and you're not a little, immature, girl playing at being a woman, like those two wenches who stole his kids-"

"ENOUGH! I like both of them and you know it was complicated."

"Whatever. Its always complicated. I still haven't figured out what you and Jason fought about but whatever is going on....make it right. Go to him and apologize and then, for God sake's, give him a good and happy life."

"Do you honestly want that?"

Tearfully, Carly told her "Yes." Her lips quivered.

Alexis looked away for a moment. When she looked back she said "Its only been two weeks. Why are you so invested in this? Or is the answer obvious? You invest all of yourself in all of his life from his choice in cereal to his choice in lovers?"

"I'm invested because he's invested. And if he loses one more time....he may shut down and that could be it. I didn't pick you! He picked you! I'm just saying it could suck so much worse if you were someone else but you're not someone else. I thought I knew you...even if you are a tight ass...you're strong and you're capable and you put yourself on the line for people you love. That's what he needs most...someone who can risk it all for him, even when it makes more sense to run away. So are you a runner, Alexis? Is that who you really are? Packing your bags for New York City again?"

"You take bitch to a whole new level. Your claws have claws. Were you born this way or is this some skill you acquired before I was unlucky enough to have our lives collide?"

"I'm a bitch when I have to be. Right now I don't have a spare million to get you away from Jason- like I tried to do with Sonny all those years back. But then again, at this point, I'd give millions just to see Jason looking like the way he did when he told me you were the one."

Tears came to Alexis eyes. Carly unlocked the door and jerked it open. "You're the one, Alexis. Make him happy!" Carly stormed out.