A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for reading. :) FYI I'll be offline for a couple of weeks now. I'm hoping to post one more chapter over the weekend.
After the rain ends, Johnny and Spinner report to command to help with the clean-up. Johnny refuses to let me come, saying my shoulder is too fragile. Bear, as usual, sleeps most of the day, so I am essentially alone in the apartment with nothing to do. I try to avoid anything that would disturb his sleep, finding small jobs around the apartment, odds and ends to keep me busy without overexerting myself or needing my left arm. Later that day, the power in the apartment returns, and at least I can witness the district 4 alerts and updates again.
The Capitol is still broadcasting its "news" about the war but it's constantly interrupted by the district's alerts or the standard rebel propos. They had a series of them where victors and people in the rebellion talk about dead victors and even some fallen tributes. I think everyone in district four gets weepy when they play the one where Finnick talks about Mags, who mentored him in his games and sacrificed herself for the rebellion when she walked into that fog in the arena. They include clips from the games, pieces of the Quell I never saw. There's also a new propo starring Finnick and Annie Cresta. It's mostly Finnick talking, more about how the Capitol has used and abused the victors, but they show him with Annie in district 13, looking deliriously happy in each other's arms. I've heard the rumor that she was taken away by the Capitol near the end of the Quell. Was she really taken to 13, or did they rescue her?
There's also another propo with Gale, where he is in what's left of district 12, talking about the night of the bombing. He's surrounded by charred remains of the Seam, recounting the mass confusion as firebombs fell from the sky. Then he describes how they took out the fence and escaped into the woods before District 13 came and rescued them. He says, sorrowfully, how less than one in ten district citizens survived the night. By the end of the propo I know my family wasn't among those that escaped with Gale – I'm sure if they had, the Mayor would be included in this broadcast. Could they have escaped before the bombs hit? Was there another way out? My father didn't make it to district four, and he didn't make it to district 13. My mother could scarcely have made any kind of determined escape. The only hope is that they were taken to the Capitol, and given what happened to Peeta and the broadcasted executions, what's the chance that I will ever see them again? I've had a lot of time to get used to the idea. In many ways I'm still mourning them, but there's always that little voice asking me why I don't trust my father's plans. Still, I get lonely and sad thinking about them.
Over the next few days, Spinner and Johnny get back late after long days helping to clean up immediate issues from the hurricane. Johnny' splitting his time between the infirmary and the clean-up. Often they're both completely waterlogged, after helping in sector two where there is still flooding. Most of the shops in the district have been closed down because of the war, and the rebels had just started working toward getting shops to reopen before the hurricane hit. Now they're back to dealing with the immediate problems of the district.
Bear and I are stuck in the apartment. I hate feeling so useless. He at least can still do his regular work on the electronic tablet. I busy myself with making sure we have plenty of purified water on hand, cleaning up the place, and eventually boxing up stuff of Carlo's, and even some things of Marai's that she left here. She has tons of clothes, it seems, because she left boxes of them here.
It's awkward sleeping with my dislocated shoulder, and after two days of sitting around the apartment, I can't get comfortable and I'm not tired enough to find sleep. Besides, last night I kept having nightmares about my parents and people from district 12 and the Capitol. So when everyone's in bed I go out to the front room where Bear is sitting at the end of the couch, fiddling with his electronic tablet. I gripe lightly, "Don't tell me you're working." It's infuriating being the only one without a job to do.
He looks up, admitting, "No, not really. I should be though. What are you doing up?"
I give a one-shouldered shrug, something I'm practicing. "Can't sleep. Stupid arm." I walk over to the window, pushing aside the curtain to peer out into darkness.
Something else is bothering me though, looking into that void. "What happened to the ships?"
He sighs and tells me, "Anything in the marina would've been at risk. They'd have better luck away from land. Not a fun trip, but most ships can ride out a storm like this at sea. They would've sent as many as possible out onto the water before it hit." I absorb the news in silence. It doesn't seem conceivable to me, but I'm sure he's right.
"Come here," he says. I drag myself over to the couch and curl up on the empty cushions next to him.
"Mick will be okay. You said he was resourceful right? A hurricane is nothing new to him."
I want it to be true. Laying on the couch next to Bear, I feel completely safe, but so many of the people around me are still in harm's way. I wish the war was over and we could all be truly safe. I don't know how to put words to my feelings, so I just sigh, "Thanks." His attention focuses back on his tablet, and in a few minutes my eyes flicker closed, and soon I'm asleep.
On the fourth day of clean-up, Spinner and Johnny come back to the apartment with a surprise – my "brother" Mick. It turns out he was on the day-boat with the rest of his crew, out to sea during the storm and when they arrived back to the flood damage in sector two, he decided to come here. He found Spinner, who invited him to come back and stay with us. He explains he's only here for a few days, before his ship's scheduled to leave again. In the meantime he plans to help with the clean-up. That night everyone listens to his stories about fishing and how they sent many of the ships out to sea before the hurricane hit, where they rode out the storm.
The next morning, Bear is uncharacteristically still awake after Spinner, Johnny and now Mick leave for the day. He's on edge about something, and for whatever reason that puts me on edge too. I take my morning tea to the front room, where he's messing around with his electronic tablet, as usual. But I can tell something's off.
"Why'd you come back here?" he asks me sharply.
I wonder, Does he not want me here? Trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in my gut, I ask, "What do you mean?"
"You found your brother. Why wouldn't you stay with him?" He asks insistently.
It seems like a ridiculous question, though. He knows I'd just met Mick. Does he think I don't care about them? "He's not really my brother, remember?"
"Yeah but … if you're Maddie Amelin, and you found your brother, why wouldn't you stay? It's suspicious."
I guess I hadn't thought about it that way. It just made more sense to come back here. I didn't know anyone in sector two. "I don't know. Because he's out on the ship all the time? I didn't want to be alone?"
Bear isn't satisfied. "What does he know? Have you explained any of this to him?"
"He doesn't know anything." I assure him, "Just that Spinner thinks we're siblings. And now, the rest of you."
If anything, Bear looks more frustrated. "But, you can't do that. He has to know. What if someone started asking questions? He probably doesn't know a thing about you. Your whole story unravels. Who knows what could happen…"
"I don't want to suck him into this too," I argue.
Bear objects, "But you already did. Just by making him your brother, he's in it. The district's already started re-registering everyone. He's registered. You're registered, it's how you qualify for food provisions and a job. You have to explain it to him."
I resist it. Bear's still the only one here who knows definitively who I am, and I didn't choose to bring him in on the secret, not really. He'd already figured it out. What if it puts Mick in danger? But what if Bear is right, and I've already put him in danger?
"Just think about it," he sighs, and disappears to bed. And I do. I can't help think about it, all day. Bear's right, I need to explain things to Mick. He could get us both in trouble without even meaning to, and it's my fault.
That night I ask Mick to stay up with me for a bit, for some "family time." We invade the front room, Bear's nighttime office, and I tell him who I am, explaining my father's plan for me to come stay with my aunt and why I've claimed him as a brother.
"So we really are family, in a way," he realizes. I think he's a bit star-struck by my friendship with Katniss and Peeta – which I had planned to leave out but somehow it got included anyway.
"Bear's the only other one who knows," I remind him when we're both ready to call it a night. "So we can't say anything in front of the others. Are you sure you're okay with this?"
I have no idea what to do if he says no, but he nods resolutely, saying "us Amelins gotta stick together." Then he winks at me.
Before I go to bed, I say to Bear, "Thanks. You were right." It seems like I'm always thanking him for something and it never feels like enough. I want to hug him or something, but I feel shy and hold back. He probably thinks I'm a selfish idiot, putting Mick in danger like that.
But Bear's not judging me. He smiles at me from the couch. "It's good, him knowing. You shouldn't have to be alone."
I look at Bear and think how lucky I am to be here. "I'm not," I say, before turning down the hall. I realize I still expect everyone to judge me without knowing me. All of district 12 had opinions about their Mayor and his family. They acted like they knew me when they didn't. When I'm all curled up waiting to fall asleep, my last exchange with Bear repeats over and over in my mind. I couldn't find the words to say that I feel accepted here, maybe more than I ever did in district 12. It's as if all my life I was playing the part of Mayor's daughter, and now I'm just figuring out who I really am.
The next afternoon, Bear's only just woken up when Naiya stops by the apartment on her way home from work. I've barely let her in the door and already can't get a word in edgewise. She says, "Oh honey, I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing. I brought you some of my homemade fish stew. I'm sure you're just sick of fish day in and day out, aren't we all. I mean I love fish as much as the next person, but won't it be so nice when we're able to exchange good with other districts. I do hope the rebels are able to do that, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Don't worry hon, we're making do at the distribution site for now, but we miss you and can't wait 'til you're feeling better. Anyway this stew, it's a little different flavor than what you're probably used to, I used some different spices and the like, it's an old family recipe. I hope you like it. I just feel terrible about what happened. But isn't it a miracle how we all got through that storm. I was worried to death about what might happen. We did have some damage at the distribution site, but we've got most of it cleaned up now. Lost some provisions but like I always say, it could have been worse so I am just thankful for what we've got."
The look on Bear's face is priceless. I guess he's never met Rose's mother before. She's paused for a moment, so I say brightly, "Thanks for the stew! You didn't have to do that." Though honestly she's right - I'm not thrilled for another meal of fish. I add, "We were worried about the storm, too. It sounds like it's created a lot of work for everyone."
"Oh it's nothing, honey. I just wanted to make sure you were okay after that frightful fall. I just can't believe someone would do that. Well, I really should go, I don't mean to take up your whole day. If you see Rose, do remind her she still has a family that would love to see her sometime. She and that friend of yours have been practically inseparable since the storm ended. Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad they can find some happiness despite everything that's been happening. Besides, I can tell he's a good boy, I mean just look how he came to your rescue the other day. Still, I do wish she would spend a little more time at home. But, I guess that's just how it is. Well, that's nothing for you to worry about. You take care, honey, and take your time. I don't want you getting hurt any worse. Don't worry about us, we'll muddle through, we always do. I'll see you down at the site when you're feeling better. Okay, hon. Bye now."
And with that, she's out the door and on her way.
"Wow." Bear says.
"What?" I protest. "She's sweet. Besides, she brought stew. If you're nice I might even share."
There's actually plenty of stew, so we save it until dinner when Johnny and Mick are back. We haven't seen Spinner and Rose - I'll have to pass along Naiya's message another time. I thought I'd had enough of fish stew, but Naiya's is surprisingly delicious. I'll have to ask her how she makes it; it's so different from what we've been having, it makes for a nice change of pace.
That night Mick & I stay up again. He'll be leaving in the morning, so we take this chance to swap stories and learn more about each other. I learn that he plays the fiddle and likes fishing from a canoe much more fun than working on the fishing boats. I'd sort of thought fishing was fishing, but Mick explains how they use nets on the big fishing boats, completely different than using a rod and reel. The rod and reel involves hooking a fish in the mouth though. The net sounds less painful for the fish, to me. It's sad to think that in the morning, he'll be leaving, but he promises me he'll visit again.
After a few more uneventful days in the apartment, Johnny finally gives the OK for me to help out a couple hours a day at the store, as long as I'm careful with my arm and don't do anything strenuous. I fall into a new routine of spending a few hours in the morning or early afternoon at the store, usually when Bear is asleep and the apartment feels most empty.