October 2nd, 1996

Dear Journal,

I swear to Merlin I will kill that Slytherin creature! I will! I swear!

Every time I see him, which is a lot more often now than I used to.

I wonder if he does it on purpose.

Anyway, every time I see him, which is basically after every lesson, every break and every lunch hour, he mocks me. Whispers crap in my ear. Stuff like 'I know you like me' and 'it's only a matter of time' which is overly annoying in itself, but a bit sweet because he's going out of his way to say these things to me. I still don't know if he likes me?

Maybe he does. Not that I care. I don't. I don't!

But that's not why I want to kill him. I want to kill him because of the way he acts when we're confronted with each other when he's not whispering crap. He sniggers at me with his friends. Whenever Pansy says something, they laugh uncontrollably. Sometimes Malfoy even calls me names like 'Weasel', 'Troll' and even 'Slime'. But this morning, I swear I could kill him. After Defence Against the Dark Arts I was making my way to Quidditch practice. I see a bunch of Slytherin's on the way there. Malfoy's with them. I don't scowl at him like I usually do. Thinking now I don't know why. I even smiled. Pansy Parkinson is there though. Oh yay.

"What you looking at Weasel?!" She scoffs darkly. Laughing with the others. Malfoy joins in. I don't know why, but… It kinda hurts. I don't know why. I attempt to ignore her, and walk on past. But this is Pansy we're talking about. She blocks my path.

"I don't think so Weasel." She sniggers in my face. I try to step backwards, but, I've told you how they swarm. Goyle's behind me. I exhale.

"Not now Pansy." I plead with her. I think she is surprised at my tone. I don't think I've ever tried wiggling out of a fight with her. Her shock subsides almost immediately and a big ugly grin spreads her face.

"Aw is ickle ginger nut not happy?" She asks mockingly, making her voice a few pitches higher. I look around, they've all surrounded, even Malfoy. He avoids my eye.

"I was happy until you turned up, now let me past." I say evenly. She isn't going to get to me.

Pansy giggled and so did the rest of them. She took another step forward so our faces were inches apart. I'd been in this situation before. For Merlin's sake can she not leave me alone? I sighed again. Not out of fear, out of boredom.

"What you gonna' do about it Sweetie?" Pansy asked with a sickly edge to her voice. The others snickered. I took another deep breath. I really wasn't in the mood.

"Pansy dear, you don't want to know." I answered simply. I got a few 'ooh's' from the Slytherin boys. I didn't care. She really didn't want to know. Pansy laughed in my face.

"Oh, but I do." She whispered dangerously. She shoved me backwards. I did nothing. She shoved me again. I did nothing. She shoved me a third time, hard. I went backwards, tripping over my own feet. I was falling backwards. And then. I wasn't. I looked up. Malfoy. I yanked myself out of his grasp.

"For Merlin's sake, Malfoy, leave me al-" I began.

"Draco?! What the hell are you doing?!" Pansy shrieked with rage. She stormed towards us, and heaved me out of the way. She was glaring up at Malfoy. He stepped back warily. Flitting his eyes from me to her.

"Draco?!" Pansy screamed. "Are you and-" she looked back at me disgustedly, "that, an item?!" She finished. She was breathless. 'She must be really angry' I thought. 'Not as angry as me!' Malfoy was stuttering.

"What?! No, of course, no- I mean, she's a bloody Gryffindo- she's a Weasley, you're as bad as a Mudblood!" He aimed the last part right at me. I wanted to cry. I don't even know why. Pansy was still staring at him.

"Shut UP Malfoy! You absolute Dick!" I screamed at him.

Malfoy looked taken aback, maybe even a little hurt. Good.

"Don't you dare talk to him like that Weasel! Draco, honey, why save her fall then?" She asked seriously. Malfoy went a bit paler, if that was even possible.

"Because, because, well-" He stopped and thought a moment. His eyes brightened a moment, thinking of an answer.

"Our Quidditch game tomorrow! I don't want to forfeit because they have a chaser down!" Malfoy squealed. 'More at the fact he had a decent answer.' I supposed irritably. Pansy turned around to me, smiling gleefully. Then back at Malfoy.

"You really think that, after I'd finish with her, she wouldn't be able to play?" Pansy asked batting her eyelashes at him. He chuckled flirtingly. That hurt too. What the hell was WRONG with me?!

"Of course." He replied, flashing his teeth. Pansy blushed and then walked up to me.

"You're lucky this time, Weasel." She sniggered and walked off. As did the rest of them. I'd realised my fists were clenched, they were white and my palms were leaking a bit of blood. I clenched my teeth to try and keep myself from turning around and flooring Pansy right there. Believe me, it took all my effort. I began storming off down the corridor when something grabbed me and spun me around.

"For Merlin's sake Malfoy. Get OFF me!" I cried. I really, really wasn't in the mood. He pushed me to a nook in the wall of the corridor. It was very confined. I glowered.

"Malfoy, get the hell off me!" I yelled. I was bedraggled and upset.

"Shh, be quiet Ginny! Someone's gonna' hear us!" Malfoy warned. Seizing my wrists so I couldn't hit him.

"I want someone to hear, I need to get away from you!" I squealed. I began to cry. Like really cry. Uncontrollably.

"Shh, Ginny, shh, I'm not going to hurt you." Malfoy soothed. He caressed my face with his hand and looked deep into my eyes. I looked into his.

"Yes you will, It's what you do, and anyway, what about 'Mudblood', 'Weasley' and all that crap?!" I asked, dishevelled. He'd put both of his hands onto my face, cupping it.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want them finding out." Malfoy told me smoothly, a slight smile towing at his cheeks.

"Finding out what?" I asked totally bewildered. He flashed his teeth at me. I gasped.

'No'

He leaned forward very slowly, tenderly.

'No'

His eyes boring into mine. I was breathing heavily.

'No Ginny'

His lips met mine, just a slight touch. Not even that. A brush.

'NO'

My brain caught up with my actions and I jerked back. He withdrew. I stared at him crazily. Then. I slapped him. Hard. Across the face. Then.

I ran.

I ran hard and fast, Malfoy's cries disappeared almost immediately. My tears were streaming off my face at full force. 'How could you let him do that to you?' I kept thinking wildly. He'd kissed me. He'd kissed me. I don't know what was worse. That I let him, or that for a tiny second I might have enjoyed it? 'Oh Merlin!' I screamed at myself. I ran to Quidditch practise. Everyone was already there and dressed. Harry saw my face and ran up to me.

"Hey Gin, what's wrong? Where've you been?" He asked. He'd put his hand on my shoulder. I don't know why I did what I did next, but it just happened. I hugged Harry. Hard. I think he was shocked too, because I'd always been shy around him. He hugged me back though, in the same force, which comforted me. We stayed like that for about 5 minutes, with me crying madly into his shoulder, and him consoling me saying things like 'It's ok Gin' and 'We'll get through this.' I was so grateful.

"If you two have finished, we have Quidditch practise." Someone announced from behind us. I let go of Harry and turned around, the whole Quidditch team was there. I wiped my face in embarrassment. Harry stepped forward and gave them some instructions to start warming up. 20 laps around the pitch, stuff like that. When they'd all gone, Harry turned to me.

"Do you wanna' skip practise and sort yourself out?" He asked gently. He'd reached for my hands, and now he held them. I looked at him, he looked at me kindly. Like a brother would to a sister. I was glad.

"Oh, no, thank you, but I'd rather play; I think that would sort me out better than sitting in the common room with nothing to do." I answered quietly. He sighed.

"Ok Gin, but you have to tell me what happened after, ok." He told me firmly.

"Oh, it was nothing, I just-"

"No, Gin, you're not getting out of this one, something happened, and I want to know what it is, all I want to do is help you." He countered softly but stubbornly. I sighed. He was right; I wasn't getting out of this one.

"Ok Harry." I answered honestly. He gave my hands a squeeze and then told me to get my things on and join him on the pitch.

Quidditch practise was pretty good if I'm honest. I got a few bruises and I was soaked through with sweat, but that shows how good it was. It cleared my head too. The wind through my hair, the broom beneath me, the feeling of freedom. I felt I could do anything. I was upset when it finished. I just wanted to fly all day. I was the last to the ground. Like way last. Everyone had gotten changed and left when I touched down. Harry was there though. Obviously. He walked with me to the changing rooms, waited for me outside, and then walked with me to the main hall for lunch. We were chatting the whole time. It was nice. You know what I mean? No worries, no feelings, just friends. I love Harry. Not like that, but like a brother and I'm glad I have him. I told him so too. I stopped in the corridor.

"I'm glad I have you, Harry." I told him genuinely. He stood before me. He smiled at me. Like really smiled. He stepped forward and I jumped into his outstretched arms. We hugged properly. Not like shy girl meets dream boy. More like. Best friends. He lifted me so my feet were off the floor and he carried me down the corridor. I was squealing because he kept squeezing me, so I kept jabbing him in the ribs and he kept wiggling. We were in hysterics when we reached the hall. He put me down as we made our way to our table. Laughing the whole way. We sat down to eat with Ron and Hermione and soon we were all laughing. Luna came and joined us soon enough and with Luna around you can't help but laugh more. Not at her of course. With her. I think she enjoys our company. We really are all best friends.

Harry didn't mention anything about my 'breakdown.' I think he was waiting. I didn't mind. I would wait a long, long time. I knew I'd have to tell him the truth. He wasn't going to like it. He was probably going to hate me. So that's why I wanted him to wait. I wanted this beautiful time to last forever.

I really did.

Love Ginny xx