Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything Associated with it, although I wish I did. ;)

This is for Sistercat114, abigail-ann-cullen, and theladyKT

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I got my review so as promised here is the next chapter. It is long, hope you don't mind that.

Oh and sorry for any typos, I just typed this right now. ENJOY

I screamed his name.

Everything went silent now that my heart had stopped beating. Then after what seemed like barely a second, it seemed that the world came alive.

I could hear the wind and rain beating against the metal shutters, I could hear Edward's unneeded breaths coming and going, I could even hear the melodic giggle of Alice, as she told Carlisle that they were leaving to go hunt right now, and then I heard their steps, followed by the click of the door.

Every sound and image seemed shaper somehow, but it was all beautiful. I looked at everything surrounding me in Edward's room. Everything but him.

I wanted to see his beauty last. I gazed at the enormous CD collection that he had. Thousands of albums. Each one of their edges were lined with delicate little fractures along the edges. Lines I had never noticed as a human.

Then I looked back at my hand, still clutching his shoulder tightly. We had not moved from our position, and I had not really noticed it before. It seemed to be a compromising one, and it was one that I desperately did not want to remove myself from.

My head laid against his chest just under his neck, while I was completely sitting on top of him in his lap. One of his hands was firmly around my shoulders pulling me to him, while the other was laid out gently on the middle of my bare thigh.

Bare thigh. Wait. I had jeans on when I jumped....what had happened. I lifted my heads and looked at my apparel. I had not noticed during the change, that I was in something else. I heard myself growl softly, and felt Edward chuckle. "Alice?" I questioned him, and I felt him nod.

She had placed me in a very small pink silk robe, which only came down to slightly above Edward's hand on my thigh. It was designed so that whatever cleavage I had was fully exposed to whoever was looked at me, barely concealing the rest of my chest.

I sheepishly looked down, feeling embarrassed and thanking the heaven above that I could not blush anymore. This robe was meant for couples and intimacy. Was Alice purposely trying to break my heart again by reminding me of Edward's rejection?

I kept my head straight as I closed my eyes, and thought that this clothing probably made no difference anyways. I was sitting on Edward, and as a result I could definitely tell that this outfit seemed to have no reaction on him.

I sighed a little then, the ache in my chest reminding me of how much he probably hated seeing me like this. So I sadly let my eyes drift to the floor when I had dropped his shredded shirt.

"Sorry about your shirt....If you want, I'll buy you a new one?" I told him softly. I was surprised by his reaction.

He laughed loudly, and pulled me around so that I was now straddling him, and his lips were in my hair as he clutched me. "Oh, love, my shirt. I could care less about it. How do you feel?"

Okay I am officially confused. I was straddling Edward Cullen.

My mind just about totally blanked and I remained incoherent.

I think I could understand more things when my body was on fire from the change, but now my body was on a totally different level of fire. All I could think about was our position.

I was straddling Edward.

Good thing, I'm not human, because I definitely would have fainted this time because I had totally stopped breathing.

"Bella?" Oh my God, his voice. He was here. He was talking to me. A million things entered my mind along with a million questions. I was a vampire. I was strong.

Edward was still holding me, and I was straddling him. Did he want me? Why was he holding me? Why did he leave?

I opened my mouth to begin to speak, but my mind was so fogged that all I could manage was his name.

I lifted my head to look him in the eye, but I did not know what to make out of the emotions lingering there. I was the joy from his laughter, the pain that was there but seemed to be lessened, and something else. Something I had never seen before. I couldn't help myself.

"Edward," I whispered. Trailing my fingers across his chest and up to his face. I trailed my fingers over his cheek bones, his eyes, his nose, and finally his lips, then back to his cheek where I rested my hand. He had closed his eyes and sighed as I moved my fingers. He was so beautiful.

I briefly wondered how I looked now that I was one of them until I felt the silk on my thigh slip reminding me that I was naked underneath the silk, and currently still straddling him. I gulped, but did not move. I was quite content to be this way, just noticing that both of his hands now rested on the outside of my thighs.

I was afraid that if I lost contact with his skin, then he would disappear. I sighed and looked at him, staring into those topaz eyes.

"I am sorry, Edward." His hands twitched slightly on my thigh, and I decided to just talk, but he spoke before I could. "You have nothing to apologize for. Bella, I know that this is random, but are you thirsty?"

I just sat there with my mouth open. Okay this was not where I wanted to go with the conversation, but he had a good point. I was a vampire, and a new one at that.

Shouldn't I be desperately trying to kill and drink blood?

"Bella," I finally shook my head and spoke reaching my hand to touch my throat. "There is a little irritating burn in the back of my throat." He looked at me questionably, but I hurried to continue before he could ask me to get off of him. I wanted to stay on his lap for as long as possible.

"Edward, I know that you didn't want me to be a vampire, and I know that I'm not the one you want, but I want you to know that I didn't ask them to change me."

I ended the last part quietly, hoping that he would be happy that I was now more durable, but knowing that it was useless so I slowly looked up at his face.

He looks angry, and I felt the his grips tighten around my thighs, and I couldn't help but feel the spark that the pressure ignited in me so I quickly hurried to make him know that I had not forced myself to become a vampire so that I could make him be with me.

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. Edward, if you want me to just go I will, but I really am sorry."

I stopped for a second, noting that his silence was disturbing, and then I started to push myself off of him feeling the small hope that had ignited in me dwindle away.

But he tightened his grip on my thighs even more refusing to allow me to move any further away.

"I know you didn't ask them to change you." He continued explaining probably noting the confusion on my face, "Alice, asked for me to make the choice, and I could not let you die. I am entirely too selfish of a creature to live in a world without you."

Then he went silent, waiting for my reaction.

Without thinking I spoke in a rush.

"Why! Why? If you don't want me, then I mean why would you ask for me to be a vampire if you won't be with me....Edward, I love you, I want you, I always have and I always will, and yes this is what I wanted but you left Edward. You left, and said you didn't want me so how can you want me now? I wanted to be a vampire, but only if I got you for forever, but now you're going to make me exist forever without you...?"

I let the sobs take over my body then, as the hole in my chest blew wide open expressing all of the heartbreak and pain I had left in my body, I was shaking uncontrollably with the dry sobs that raked my body.

Before I could even refocus, my back was on the couch, and Edward was on top of me moving his hands in a way that should be sinful.

He brought his lips to my ear and whispered to me.

"Bella, love, I lied to you that day. I didn't want to put you in danger, but I realize now that it was the biggest mistake of my life. I lied so that you would believe me, Bella., but I love you with everything that I am Bella, I love you, and I am never going to leave you again. As long, as you want me, then I will be yours."

He ended and started to trail his lips along my cheeks and down to my lips.

At first I was hesitant. The pressure of his lips brushing against mine send little sparks flying through my veins, but my mind was still in hysterics of his past rejection.

Seeming to sense my hesitation, he spoke again to me with his lips just an inch away from mine. He had one hand in my hair twining his fingers through the strands.

His other hand was sliding dangerously in circles around my hip bones, and both of his legs were placed on opposite sides of my body.

"Bella. Please believe me, I will never make that mistake again. I asked them to change you so I could have an eternity with you. I love you Bella."

I closed my eyes feeling the small flicker of hope ignite within me along with other feelings that I had not even known I had.

"It made sense Edward. That you wouldn't want me. I knew deep inside that I was not enough for you. I knew I didn't deserve you."

He growled quietly at me, but I continued. "You always stopped me when I kissed you, always pulled away from me. You always kept me from getting too close. I knew that there was more to it, then my breakable body. You didn't want me."

"You think I don't want you Bella, you have no idea how wrong you are. I constantly had to restrain myself then because I could so easily have killed you if I got carried away, but now..."

I suddenly realized again that Edward was shirtless, and his abs were sliding against the silk of my robe which had conveniently slipped up to my hips leaving that part of me fully exposed if he had chosen to look.

"Believe me Bella when I tell you this..."

"What" was all I managed to stutter.

"I want you Bella." His words sent the hope blazing through my chest, and my body caught on fire again, but this fire was different. This fire had me begging for me.

I started to breathe heavily at the thoughts that entered my head as I looked at our situation.

Stop thinking Bella...

I had to lecture myself... Edward wanted me.... and my oh my look at this predicament that we seem to be in, I was slightly saddened that I was no longer straddling him, thinking of how much that could have affected the situation, but this one was fine with me too.

I slowly pulled my hands to the tie that was keeping the rest of me covered, and untied it. Thanking God once more that I could no longer blush, I let the sides of the robe fall open as I lay there fully exposed to Edward, and whispered to him.

"Prove it then."

A/N:: OK the lemon is definitely in the next chapter, but this was getting long (over 2000 words), and I didn't want you guys to get tired of reading the same chapter, but I am fully ready to type up the next chapter and post it asap which could even be tonight. My only condition is that I get some Reviews... Okay.. so press the little button and type anything you want!!

On to the next chapter.

Mary