Chapter 5: Broke
She remembered her first kill like it happened yesterday. She was nine, had been in the Black Widow program for four years almost. They ordered everyone in a musty room and locked the doors. Through speakers they told everyone to kill until there was only one winner left. Natasha was the smallest but she was the fastest. The girl was her friend. She snapped her neck without a second thought. There were so many bodies, so much blood. At first she knew something felt wrong, that kids weren't supposed to kill. But then the headmaster came in and congratulated her and told her that her service was helping Russia rise to power. Natasha felt not sad, or odd she felt proud and she'll never forgive herself for allowing herself to stoop so low.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when she smelt smoke. All of a sudden it was like she was back at the fire that killed her parents. She could take the beatings and pain but she couldn't take this. She couldn't take reliving the last memory she had before everything went bad. Before she went bad.
The smoke was filling her lungs and she couldn't breath. Natasha tried to calm herself down but that's when she saw her parents face. Her mom and the same red hair that she had and her dad had the same eyes. They were in so much pain and she was just watching it all happen.
But this time instead of them begging her to get out they were yelling at her, telling her it was all her fault, how they expected more, how she failed them and her country.
Natasha could feel the heat of the fire eat at her flesh but this time she felt a new kind of pain. It was a pain inside of her that felt like all the control slowly slipping threw the cracks, that were growing bigger every second.
Just then Steve appeared, then Bruce, Clint, tony and Thor. They were all dying and it was all her fault. They were laughing at her telling her that she deserved this while getting buried by the collapsed building.
Natasha screamed and screamed but no sound came out. She begged and begged but nothing mattered, she didn't matter either.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" she rasped out but it was too late for apologies,
She was always too late.
Steve could see Natasha seizing on the table. He knew that she was hallucinating and it was because if the drugs but he didn't know how to help her. He had to wake her up but how?
He knew that the Avengers were looking for them, that was the only thing that gave him hope, but how much longer could they wait to be rescued? How much more could Natasha take before she finally broke, for good?