A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading! :)

I always dreamt that being in love would mean being giddily happy. Maybe that was naïve given the conditions in district 12 and most of Panem, but that was what happened in all the storybooks my parents gave me when I was little. I couldn't help but imagine the same kind of happy ending, despite all the evidence to the contrary around me.

Instead, in reality love doesn't stop the bad things from happening, or let us deny our grief. I can't begin to explain it, how love and grief collide. Thinking back to my years in District 12, it seems that love and grief have always appeared together, one way or another. I recognize now that love is what held the families of so many tributes together, and what tore them apart. It's what kept the miners returning to that miserable work day after day. Love is why Katniss volunteered for the Games, and why so many people of Panem joined the rebellion. This love may be different, but it's not unrelated.

Love keeps us moving forward through our grief and reminds us to be kind with each other when we're at our worst. Naiya and I keep running the provisions stores. Bear and his crew have cataloged and analyzed all the old administration files from the district. Now they are working with the different divisions of rebel headquarters on reconstruction and developing a new governance structure. Bear has been assigned to consult with the medical department. Though district 4 had more options for medical treatment than in 12, it was still limited under the old regime, and access to real medical treatments and medicines from the Capitol was available only to the privileged district victors and officials. The rebels want to broaden access of Capitol medicine to the districts, but first have to find a way to create the infrastructure and expertise needed. Hearing about the work from Bear reminds me of the morphling injections I used to administer during my mother's attacks.

Much of our lives are still based on what is going on hundreds of miles away in the Capitol. District 4 may be moving forward, but there is still plenty of insecurity about how the new government will work in the long term. While most people are grateful for the leadership of district 13, not everyone is sure about President Coin. Many of us disagree with her decision to allow President Snow a comfortable imprisonment in his own mansion. We have little doubt, though, of what verdict will be given at the end of Snow's trial. The broadcasts give daily updates on the courtroom activity.

We are still waiting for Rose and Johnny to find their way home. Even so, it's not long before Bear and I lose our relative seclusion. One night Bear brings home a message from Mick, who's losing his position on the boats because of the soldiers returning to join the fishing crews. We tell him immediately to come to sector one, sure we can help him find something here. Personally I hope that he'll go back to school. It's only a few days later that I meet Mick at the sector headquarters.

I walk over after a long day at the store, hunched against a cold rain. Clouds loom low overhead, almost seeming to rest upon the rooftops. Outside the concrete headquarters building, the streets are deserted, but as I step into the building the hustle and bustle seems to erupt around me. I push through the crowds until I spot Mick, duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He seems to have grown several inches in the month since I've seen him. A grin spreads across my face at the sight of him and I hurry over. "Hi Mick!" I say, hugging him.

He insists on hauling his bags himself, so I walk unencumbered beside him on our trip back to the apartment. On our way I fill him in on the details we know about Spinner and the others. I know it won't be as hard on Mick, since he barely knew any of them. I hope we're not too gloomy for him.

At home, we sit and swap stories about our lives since we last saw each other. When Bear gets home we all grab some food for dinner and settle back into our conversation. I curl comfortably into Bear's side as we talk, leaning my head on his shoulder.

It sounds like Mick had been doing alright for himself on the boats, before all the soldiers started coming back, meaning there were more experienced people to take his place. He seems to have taken it well though.

My favorite story is when Mick tells us about running into the film crew from the Capitol when they were in sector two for filming. Recently we've seen several segments with Cressida, who is now instantly recognizable from when the Mockingjay squad was being broadcast in the Capitol. Apparently District 4 was one of their first stops, so when they showed up in sector two their footage of the war damage hadn't shown up in the broadcasts yet. Mick tells us that even without that footage, nobody could miss the green vines tattooed across Cressida's shaved head or the vibrant blue eyes and red beard on Pollux.

"What were they doing?" Bear asks.

"You know - they been filmin' all the war damage, so whatever you seen from the fisheries, the cannery, anythin' like that, it was them. I dunno that Miss Cressida liked bein' on camera so much though," Mick tells him.

"Really?" I ask, surprised. I always thought she seemed fine in her broadcasts, not nervous or unhappy.

Mick answers, "Oh, she's real professional. Real take charge kind of lady. But off camera she was lookin' real tired."

I shrug. "Guess she didn't get much chance for a break before they were went out to film. Did you actually talk to them?"

"With her. She was askin' about the boats 'n fishin' 'n all. Tellin' us 'bout their time in the war. Can't 'xactly talk with the Ledakind guy. But they seemed right on track with each other. Think she could practic'ly read his mind. Good thing I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"He's a, what they call it? An avox. Can't talk," Mick explains.

Surprised, I say, "Oh wow. I guess we know why he was with the rebels then."

Mick continues, "I guess. She had all kinds o' stories though. I mean, we didn't talk so long as all that, but you could tell. Miss Cressida told me 'bout the Mockin'jay Squad, it's like the squad built trust kinda like we do on the boats. Said Katniss was given a secret mission to get to Snow, and that's why they was alone in the Capitol there at the end. She never said a bad word 'bout it, but you could see they was both worn out. And you know that propo with the Mockin'jays, where Katniss is singin'? I guess she didn't even know they was filmin' her. She was just showin' Pollux ... uhh, Mr. Ledakind. He'd been whistlin' - guess he can still do that anyways - and the birds were repeatin' his tunes. He asked Katniss to sing, since he couldn't."

I'm surprised by how much I'm hanging on his words, this third-hand account of Katniss during the war. Everything we've seen of her has been through the official resistance broadcasts, so it just hasn't seemed that much like the real her. I wish I'd been able to talk with Cressida, with someone who was actually there with Katniss for everything we'd seen on the broadcasts. Then again, if I did I might have given myself away somehow.

When we realize it's getting late, we return to the needs of here and now. I am ready for sleeping arrangements to be awkward, even though Bear and I talked about it already. We're going to try to move back to Carlo's old place, if we can. Our place works but it's not really ours anyway, just where we wound up during the war. Carlo's place should be empty, and will fit us better when Johnny comes back. In the meantime, either of us could share the room with Mick; we assumed he'd be happier sharing with Bear. If I'm going to sleep on a couch I prefer the one in the bedroom, so we're going to cram both couches in the main room so it works for all of us during the day and for me at night. Or at least, that's the plan. Together the three of us drag the couch out and arrange the room so they both fit.

"Okay, this is me. Thanks guys," I say.

"Oh come on, Madge," answers Mick. "You think I wanna share a bed with your boyfriend? He is your boyfriend now ain't he?"

Bear smirks. Well, we have been perfectly cozy together all evening.

I laugh, blushing at the memory of that first date. "Yeah, Mick. He's my boyfriend. But that doesn't mean -"

He cuts me off saying, "C'mon. I'm gonna be fine out here. You wanna tell me you were sleepin' on the couch before I showed up?"

I give in without much reluctance. It's just until we can go back to the old place anyway.

We settle into our new routine fairly easily. Bear and I do our best to give Mick time alone since he doesn't have his own space. Happily that seems to translate into preserving some alone time for us. Because we don't want to be up and about the apartment before Mick is awake, we tend to lounge in bed together in the mornings. Laying beside him, I know that I can't picture life without him anymore. I'm his, and he's mine, and that's how it should always be. And when I kiss him awake, the look in his eyes as he sees me and smiles feels like all I will ever need.