A/N: Thanks for reading :) Thanks especially to Belle453 for the beta and her excellent advice.
After the broadcast of Katniss killing President Coin, it's awkward being around Bear and Mick for a few days. They are the only people here who know I was friends with Katniss before the war and at first we all avoided talking about it. Eventually Bear couldn't help but ask what I thought happened, and if Katniss went crazy like everybody's saying.
I'm conflicted. Even when we were still together in district 12, Katniss had gone from living about as solitary a life as possible in the Seam, to fighting for her - and Peeta's - lives in the arena, to having her life broadcast across Panem by Snow. And I doubt it's gotten any easier on her.
She's become a symbol of the rebellion, a central figure in the broadcasts by the rebels - I'm guessing that means by Coin. She's fought in the war; she's faced the ruins of our demolished district in person; she's been shot at, bombed and burned; she's lost soldiers on her squad and her sister, who I know she'd do anything for - and I only know about all that from the broadcasts. But she's still Katniss.
Helplessly I defend my friend, "but ... she didn't look crazy. She looked - well, she looked like Katniss." Stubbornly I add, "There had to be a reason." But doubt clouds my thoughts. Could I really expect her to be the same girl I knew in 12?
"Okay, say she's not crazy. Then why kill Coin? Political power grab?" Bear suggests. At my dubious expression he adds, "Maybe she's working with someone."
"Who?" I ask. "One of the candidates? I don't think so."
"Maybe she missed all that attention from being the Mockingay?" he proposes, only half joking.
I snort, shaking my head in disbelief. "No way."
He shrugs. "Personal vendetta?"
"But why? She'd have to blame Coin for - what? Prim's death?"
"It's not that farfetched is it? The district leaders had to approve anyone that young going into active war zones," he reminds me. "Or what about being almost killed herself? And losing half her squad? Coin even went on the broadcast after, remember? According to Mick the film lady said that Coin sent Katniss on a secret mission. Maybe being attacked like that so early on, she blamed Coin or the rebels?"
I sigh, realizing he's actually drawn me out into speculating more about Katniss' motives. "We're just guessing," I say, effectively ending the conversation. "We'll probably never know."
Bear lets the topic drop, but I can't get the idea out of my head. Katniss and I had grown closer when she came back from the games, and despite all the small luxuries that came with her victory I know she'd have gone back to her life in the Seam in an instant, if only she could have. It was the thought of her sister Prim that had motivated her then. Could it be her sister's death that motivated her killing Coin? Or maybe Bear was right - maybe it was her squad. The war brought me a family of sorts. Katniss had been in battle with her squad; maybe she had become attached to them.
Already planning is underway to organize an election across all of Panem to select a new President. Still reeling from a rebellion, our new leader assassinated - it's amazing how the rebels push forward. Though some troops are being reassigned due to the assassination, Naiya quickly confirms that Rose will be home in a matter of days.
Wanting to be there with Naiya when Rose arrives, I ask Mick to cover for me at provisions for the afternoon. I feel guilty about it, because I should be there to run things when Naiya is busy with the homecoming, but I remind myself it's only one day and it's worth it to see Rose when she gets home. Everything has been running smoothly anyway, and anything serious can wait a day. Hoping it will help things run smoothly, Naiya and I work a few hours extra into the evening trying to take care of everything we can the night before her train arrives.
The sun shines entirely too brightly for the chill in the air as we walk to the train station. Naiya is so excited that she talks non-stop the entire way. I can't blame her; she has to be thrilled that Rose will be home. I'm elated too. Naiya explains how their family in sector three will be visiting to see Rose over the next few days and tells me about all the food she's prepared. She has one of Rose's favorite meals- a special clam dish - planned for them tonight. Our walk passes quickly. Together we wait impatiently on the train station platform until Naiya finally spots Rose among the soldiers pouring off the train. She runs to meet Rose and by the time I push my way through the crowd to catch up mother and daughter are in a tight embrace.
Rose sees me over her mother's shoulder and grins. She looks worn down, with dark circles under her eyes but at the same time she seems almost overly excited to be home.
"Welcome home," I tell her, as emotion fills my voice.
"Maddie!" she squeals. She throws her arms around me as soon as Naiya's let go. "Oh it's so good to see you!"
Caught up in our hug and trying not to cry I choke out, "You too!"
I hug her tightly before letting her go, and tell her, "I can't believe you're here. I''m so glad you're home finally. We've missed you!"
As she pulls away, Rose's eyes drop down and catch on Johnny's necklace. Suddenly she falls back into me, her entire body shaking with sobs. Her breakdown wrecks the last of my defenses and soon we're both clinging to each other, tears streaking down our cheeks.
After several deep breaths I get control again and embrace Rose until she's quieted down. As she steps back, wiping the tears from her eyes, Naiya rubs her back comfortingly and as if nothing untoward has happened, begins an animated description of the changes in the provisions stores.
Rose seems to recover somewhat and joins in with Naiya, talking about the train and being home as we find her luggage and work our way away from the crowds of the train station. We all avoid the topics that silently threaten our emotional balance - her experience in the war and Spinner's death topping the list. Instead Rose overwhelms us with questions about provisions and what's going on at the different stores around the sector and who's been working with us. The sun is already low in the sky as we begin our walk back home, and the chill in the air is seeping through our coats. At random moments as we walk Naiya and I will pull her into one-armed hugs as we walk down the district streets toward their apartment. It's a long enough trek home and both Rose and Naiya look as ready to collapse as I feel when we reach Naiya's, so after we deposit Rose's bags in the front room, I take my leave for the evening.
I know it won't be easy for them. I tell Naiya not to worry about work for a couple days, and just focus on helping Rose. She promises to let me know when Rose has gotten settled in and when Bear and I can visit next. From what she said earlier I figure we might have to be patient - Naiya's apartment will be packed with family coming to visit from sector three over the next few days. After I hug Rose once more, I say my goodbyes and head home.
Mick won't be home tonight; he's out again to meet up with new friends and listen to the musicians meeting at the school. When Bear gets home we talk about the upcoming election. Here in 4, it's being organized using the neighborhood muster stations from during the war. There are only a few candidates in the race, all unknown to us. Of course, there are few people among the rebellion that are known beyond their own districts, other than the victors who were targeted during the war and like many of the rebellion's leaders are dead or damaged beyond the capacity to lead. The victors who are still alive - Haymitch? Johanna? Beetee? They are survivors, absolutely, but not leaders. Peeta, maybe could have been once. Since the assassination, we've heard more stories about Peeta's torture in the Capitol and how President Snow turned him against Katniss.
"How are we supposed to decide?" I gripe. Not that President Snow was ever elected, but considering how long he was in power, it seems like a this election will be a pretty important decision for determining the path Panem takes in the future.
"They're all getting time on the broadcasts," Bear says. "I guess we'd better pay attention." Each of the candidates is allotted time in the broadcasts to describe their experience and lay out their vision for the country's future. We've already seen some of the broadcasts. Tonight there's one from Colonel Volta, a district 3 rebel who apparently orchestrated a quick surrender of the Capitol forces in 3. His hair curls out from behind his ears and his gray mustache lays across his upper lip like a fat furry caterpillar wiggling with his every word. It's distracting, and I never can pay attention to him for very long.
I can't help giggling. Bear elbows me. He insists on paying attention to all the broadcasts, claiming he hasn't made up his mind yet on the candidates.
"I can't help it!" I protest. "He looks ridiculous."
My favorite is a Commander Paylor, a military leader in the rebellion. Paylor is much younger than Snow or Coin or Colonel Volta, and being from district 8 knows the harsh realities of what district life could be under Snow. She seems capable and pragmatic without being depressing.
Fortunately there weren't any major problems at any of the provisions stores, but I still keep busy over the next few days without Naiya. When I get home from the store on Friday I collapse in the front room, ready for a day off. Saturday everything will be closed anyway for the election. The rule is that anyone old enough for the reapings is old enough to vote, so when the morning comes, I walk to the old school with Bear and Mick so we can all cast our ballots. There is already a line of people waiting when we arrive. Everyone is excited, it's the first time we have ever had a say in our own leadership. There's a lot of spirited arguments in the line, as the more outspoken residents argue for their favorite candidate. I squeeze Bear's hand in mine as we wait. I can't help be excited about our first election, and the path that Panem is about to take, whatever it brings.
A/N: What do you think? Rose is back, which is good, though it won't all be smooth sailing for her.